Howdy all.
Want to first say that I been a long time reader on these forums - just never posted. I've read a lot of the articles, tips, and advice on this site and used many of them in various situations with moderate to high success.
Ok heres a little background to get to my current situation.
I was married for 5 years up until about 2 years ago. The ex-wife was a cute hottie, but a ***** and had a bad temper. We probably should have seperated a long time ago but I think because we are very attracted to each other physically/sexually we stayed together and tried to work things out - alas, we were just 2 diff people with way diff opinions. So we broke it off and are kind of friends (talk once every other week, sometimes have a drink with mutual friends) - we dont hug or touch - just keep it cool.
Anyways - shortly after my seperation and divorce I started poppin' out with single friends, hitting the bars, clubs, parties. The freedom was nice, and I had pretty good game back in highschool pullin chics. Some of that game was coming back to me, and after talking about it with a friend -he referred me to this website. I read a lot on it and took the info here and applied to what I already knew. It worked almost instantly, going out and hooking up with various girls, ranging from 7's to a couple 9's.
So one night Im at a party hosted and attended by many people I work with. There is this one girl (9) who I knew from work but never really noticed her as much because she dressed down at work but what was really dressed up and nice looking. I had a good buz going - so I talked to her, spit some game, did the flirting a little - and it was obvious we both were enjoying each others company. I tried to take her home that night - but she already had a ride but seemed flattered by it.
Moving along -
Started talking to her on IM at work - asked her out a few times and we met after work for drinks. Staying several hours getting to know each other. Making good conversation and flirting - I tried to kiss her g'night after walking her to her car. She pulled away - didnt really say anything. I said something like 'no kiss huh'. She shook her head but was smiling. Tried this one more time maybe a few days later. Same thing. Meanwhile I'm going out and hooking up with other girls and enjoying single life. Month goes by - I still go out and have drinks with this girl and because she is so hot and also a challenge to me, I wanted her even more. Eventually the 'other girls' I kept ending up with were taking more and more of my time and I pretty much felt like I fell into 'friend' role with the girl from work. So one night she invites me over to her place, and I meet up there with several other of her friends. We all have some drinks and then go down-town to the clubs/bars. She asks to ride with me and everybody else takes their own rides. Asked me to bring her home after the nights over - I say np. We are downtown with about 10 people all together. We are bar hopping, having lots to drink. I'm in my 'player mode' so to say so I start talkin to other girls at the bars/clubs. I get some numbers get my dance on, having a good time. Im almost secluding myself from the 10 other people because they all know each other well and Im just along for the ride basically. So its nearly 2am and the clubs are about to close. I got this one chic, about an 7.5 wanting me to come over and have some drinks with her and her friend (other hot girl-roomate). So I know its going to be all to the good, but 4got I had to take the girl from work home. Anways I figue can drop her off and then head over. Girl from work - grabs me after the club is about to close and say 'lets go'. So we are leaving and she says 'Where were u all night? Its like you off doing your own thing.' and I said 'uhmm, yeah I was heh.' We go back to her place, and Im pull up to just drop her off (not park). She looks at me and says 'Uhm, you want to come inside for a drink?'. This is when the lightbulb above my head went off. So I said 'Sure.'. We go inside and I basically tell her to go change into her night/sleep clothes.' She does and I go into her bedroom. I try to kiss her she pulls away and I say 'Whats up? Im trying to get with you...' she smiles and goes and turns out the lights. She gets into bed. So of course I climb in and I start messing with her a little. She seems to just lie there but doesnt push away or anything. Anways, we eventually have sex (not the best, but because of her reluctance to get into it IMO). I stay the night, get up in the morning and leave, telling her bye and I had a good time.
Ok fast foward some 2 months.
We may have hooked up about 5 more times since that night. Still never kissed her - she pulls away. I eventually come to the conclusion that kissing is very personal to her and she only kisses someone she really likes. A bit of important info - she is my age, she been in 4 relationships. Im the 3rd guy she ever been with (weird huh). So that explains a little. She was very hurt by her last bf, thought she was going to be married, kids, all that. But he just one day left her and never wanted to talk to her again.
Ok so now we go out like 2 to 3 times every week. I now only see other girls on the weekends if at all. We make trips out of town, we hit the beach, we go to football games, we do lots of fun things. Not once have we argued or fought (at least not seriously). My ex-wife meets her - assumes we are together in a bf/gf relationship - we never really said if we were or weren't. One night she finally comes at me after a fun night and kisses me very intensely. It took me by surprise but it was awesome. Its like she was holding back and finally felt comfortable with me to let go.
So fast forward 1 year. We now pretty much go out exclusively just us - she has lots of friends and still goes out with them and I do the same. So we give each other space/room. She stays at my place, or I stay at her place just about 5 to 6 days out of the week. I've met her parents, and she has met mine. This chic is smart, a 9 in looks, a 9 in personality, but there is still that something of wtf is up with her. Occasionally we talk about what she wants and what I want - but we really dont talk much beyond that. I feel I have fallen for her but at the same time I want to keep upperhand and keep the attraction going. Compared to my ex - we aren't nearly as sexual - sex is 1 to 3 times every 2 weeks the last few months vs. 4 to 5 times a week with ex. I feel I have found a good keeper, but at the same time I just don't think I should/would want to settle down. I think lately I show more affection to her than she does to me and I feel I'm losing control of our relationship and she is gaining 'upper hand'. So because I'm 'simpin' I need to regain the upper hand and regain her attraction. OR I need to let go a little, get back to playing the field.
Sorry for long write up - I left out a lot - but mainly just wanting some opinions on where I should take this or what I should do. All comments appreciated. Thanks!
Want to first say that I been a long time reader on these forums - just never posted. I've read a lot of the articles, tips, and advice on this site and used many of them in various situations with moderate to high success.
Ok heres a little background to get to my current situation.
I was married for 5 years up until about 2 years ago. The ex-wife was a cute hottie, but a ***** and had a bad temper. We probably should have seperated a long time ago but I think because we are very attracted to each other physically/sexually we stayed together and tried to work things out - alas, we were just 2 diff people with way diff opinions. So we broke it off and are kind of friends (talk once every other week, sometimes have a drink with mutual friends) - we dont hug or touch - just keep it cool.
Anyways - shortly after my seperation and divorce I started poppin' out with single friends, hitting the bars, clubs, parties. The freedom was nice, and I had pretty good game back in highschool pullin chics. Some of that game was coming back to me, and after talking about it with a friend -he referred me to this website. I read a lot on it and took the info here and applied to what I already knew. It worked almost instantly, going out and hooking up with various girls, ranging from 7's to a couple 9's.
So one night Im at a party hosted and attended by many people I work with. There is this one girl (9) who I knew from work but never really noticed her as much because she dressed down at work but what was really dressed up and nice looking. I had a good buz going - so I talked to her, spit some game, did the flirting a little - and it was obvious we both were enjoying each others company. I tried to take her home that night - but she already had a ride but seemed flattered by it.
Moving along -
Started talking to her on IM at work - asked her out a few times and we met after work for drinks. Staying several hours getting to know each other. Making good conversation and flirting - I tried to kiss her g'night after walking her to her car. She pulled away - didnt really say anything. I said something like 'no kiss huh'. She shook her head but was smiling. Tried this one more time maybe a few days later. Same thing. Meanwhile I'm going out and hooking up with other girls and enjoying single life. Month goes by - I still go out and have drinks with this girl and because she is so hot and also a challenge to me, I wanted her even more. Eventually the 'other girls' I kept ending up with were taking more and more of my time and I pretty much felt like I fell into 'friend' role with the girl from work. So one night she invites me over to her place, and I meet up there with several other of her friends. We all have some drinks and then go down-town to the clubs/bars. She asks to ride with me and everybody else takes their own rides. Asked me to bring her home after the nights over - I say np. We are downtown with about 10 people all together. We are bar hopping, having lots to drink. I'm in my 'player mode' so to say so I start talkin to other girls at the bars/clubs. I get some numbers get my dance on, having a good time. Im almost secluding myself from the 10 other people because they all know each other well and Im just along for the ride basically. So its nearly 2am and the clubs are about to close. I got this one chic, about an 7.5 wanting me to come over and have some drinks with her and her friend (other hot girl-roomate). So I know its going to be all to the good, but 4got I had to take the girl from work home. Anways I figue can drop her off and then head over. Girl from work - grabs me after the club is about to close and say 'lets go'. So we are leaving and she says 'Where were u all night? Its like you off doing your own thing.' and I said 'uhmm, yeah I was heh.' We go back to her place, and Im pull up to just drop her off (not park). She looks at me and says 'Uhm, you want to come inside for a drink?'. This is when the lightbulb above my head went off. So I said 'Sure.'. We go inside and I basically tell her to go change into her night/sleep clothes.' She does and I go into her bedroom. I try to kiss her she pulls away and I say 'Whats up? Im trying to get with you...' she smiles and goes and turns out the lights. She gets into bed. So of course I climb in and I start messing with her a little. She seems to just lie there but doesnt push away or anything. Anways, we eventually have sex (not the best, but because of her reluctance to get into it IMO). I stay the night, get up in the morning and leave, telling her bye and I had a good time.
Ok fast foward some 2 months.
We may have hooked up about 5 more times since that night. Still never kissed her - she pulls away. I eventually come to the conclusion that kissing is very personal to her and she only kisses someone she really likes. A bit of important info - she is my age, she been in 4 relationships. Im the 3rd guy she ever been with (weird huh). So that explains a little. She was very hurt by her last bf, thought she was going to be married, kids, all that. But he just one day left her and never wanted to talk to her again.
Ok so now we go out like 2 to 3 times every week. I now only see other girls on the weekends if at all. We make trips out of town, we hit the beach, we go to football games, we do lots of fun things. Not once have we argued or fought (at least not seriously). My ex-wife meets her - assumes we are together in a bf/gf relationship - we never really said if we were or weren't. One night she finally comes at me after a fun night and kisses me very intensely. It took me by surprise but it was awesome. Its like she was holding back and finally felt comfortable with me to let go.
So fast forward 1 year. We now pretty much go out exclusively just us - she has lots of friends and still goes out with them and I do the same. So we give each other space/room. She stays at my place, or I stay at her place just about 5 to 6 days out of the week. I've met her parents, and she has met mine. This chic is smart, a 9 in looks, a 9 in personality, but there is still that something of wtf is up with her. Occasionally we talk about what she wants and what I want - but we really dont talk much beyond that. I feel I have fallen for her but at the same time I want to keep upperhand and keep the attraction going. Compared to my ex - we aren't nearly as sexual - sex is 1 to 3 times every 2 weeks the last few months vs. 4 to 5 times a week with ex. I feel I have found a good keeper, but at the same time I just don't think I should/would want to settle down. I think lately I show more affection to her than she does to me and I feel I'm losing control of our relationship and she is gaining 'upper hand'. So because I'm 'simpin' I need to regain the upper hand and regain her attraction. OR I need to let go a little, get back to playing the field.
Sorry for long write up - I left out a lot - but mainly just wanting some opinions on where I should take this or what I should do. All comments appreciated. Thanks!
