what to do if she has a bf

[BadBoyCoolMan]

there is this girl that i think is cute but has a bf. i am a cool friend. how do i handle this?

if this question has already been answered, please let me know how i can search for this on the forum?

 

[EFFORT]

there is this girl that i think is cute but has a bf. i am a cool friend. how do i handle this?

if this question has already been answered, please let me know how i can search for this on the forum?

Your friends with her and want her i assume? You already ****ed up by being a friend. I'd say this one is good as gone, but u can still crash and burn it for practice assuming thats not gonna cause any trouble in your social life that you don't want.

 

[BadBoyCoolMan]

I disagree. Simply because I'm friends with someone does not mean automatically translate into fxxxx up with her. That is bull. She had her bf before I met her.

I think many of you guys here believe that if the girl does not automatically sleep with the guy then she is not interested. while I agree that being a nice guy is a major no no, I still think that one can be friends with a girl and the relationship can grow from that. Being friends with a girl does not mean that one is going to kiss her ass. One can also benefit (if the friend is cute) from being friends with her because it shows OTHER girls that one is not a social loser.

It is true that girls want a MAN who is not a kiss ass and puts girls on pedestals. It is also true that girls want a man who is not afraid to BE A MAN (i.e. go for the kill- show off that he is not a wimp and that he wants to have sex).

BUT (and this is important) girls HAVE ALSO BEING SOCIALIZED LIKE WE HAVE. While they may be sexual creatures at heart, we still have to confront the fact that they have being socialized. If they have a bf, then they know that it is wrong for them to be cheating (unless they are hoes- low quality girls). Therefore, we must not expect them to immediately begin to wannna fxxx at first sight. In order to get with them, we must play some of the socialization game (i.e get to know them, movies, club, etc). AGAIN THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE KISS THEIR ASS. I dont see this point in many of the posts so maybe you guys can comment on this.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Turning a friend into a lover can go few ways.

1. It can work and turn out into a relationship.
2. You made a fvck buddy.
3. It won't happen or be awkward.

Things to try:

You initially have to step up the kino, flirting, and being in a sexual state. Then, you need to start being less aviable, use push-pull, and all the other stuff you would use in attracting a girl. By doing this i've had some girls who started out as friends all the sudden tell me; I'm sexy, or they are starting to get feelings for me, want to kiss me and ect. But, you gotta do it right.

If you have been friends for a long time... It probably won't work.

_____________________________________________________

Now, you have to get her to cheat on you. Your second obstacle. By creating attraction in her you could get her to cheat on her boyfriend. It depends on the girl and her relationship. Since, DJ's like us know more about women than the average guy. It's not too hard to make a girl cheat on her boyfriend. Just NEVER fvck your friends girlfriend. That sh!t ain't cool... In my opinion..

 

[Microphone Fiend]

there is this girl that i think is cute but has a bf. i am a cool friend. how do i handle this?

if this question has already been answered, please let me know how i can search for this on the forum?

Check the Archives Forum. Here are two excerpts from the most relevant threads that have helped men:

If I read the original post right, this guy is asking for *signs* that a girl with a BF is interested in him. Here they are...

Now, these go for a girl you just met recently (like in the past few months) - if we are talking about a girl you have been friends with for years, that is another story.

*accepts fake dates with you - ie, she goes out to dinner with you alone, with no pretense of meeting friends later, etc. If I meet a guy who I think would get along well in my group of friends, I don't go out to dinner with him *alone* - I invite him to a party or the bar when I know a lot of people will be there so he can meet and get to know them. 9 times out of 10, my BF will be there too. (Beware of a caveat - the moocher - she could just be accepting dinner with you for, well, a free dinner)

*doesn't mention her boyfriend the first day she meets you. When I meet a guy and we start talking, I work my BF in there as soon as humanly possible. It really isn't hard to do and it let's him know I am not on the market. If a girl flirts with you for a few hours and then mentions the BF, she may have interest.

*talks about sex with you - alone - within the first few days of knowing you. If it is a group discussion at a party or something, it doesn't count. But, if she is talking about her favorite position with you alone in the corner of a car, chances are she wants to try it out with you.

*touches you. Hugs goodbye don't count - because girls will hug anyone near then that they kind of know. If a girl is touching your arm, leg, face, etc on a pretty consistant basis (a punch on the shoulder, once, doesn't count) then she may be interested.

*never brings her BF around when you are there. If you have seen her out 4 times and never seen her boyfriend with her, chances are the relationship could be on the rocks. The couple that plays together, stays together. If she is playing a lot without him, she could be looking for a new playmate.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=24238

I am not going to lecture to you on what you should or shouldn't do. You're a DJ, and can do whatever it is that you want to do. Your question wasn't "Should I get this girl to cheat?", it was "How do I get this girl to cheat?" So I'm going to answer your question. Besides, if the boyfriend was doing his job, then she wouldn't be unhappy with the relationship, and no man would be able to interfere. But apparently this is not the case, it is possible for you to slide in there.

Just make sure that you realize that a woman who cheats on her BF, will do the same to you if you become her BF and slip up. As long as you understand that, and still want to bang this girl, then lets move on...

I'm sure she has told you what she doesn't like about her boyfriend by now. If she has, then you have to demonstrate to her, that you have what he doesn't, but you have to be subtle about it.

You will eventually have to take her out sometime, even if you just say it's for drinks. Keep in the back of your mind what she said that she didn't like about her boyfriend. Maybe she said that he is disrespectful...so then you make sure that you open every door, push in every chair, and help her with her coat everytime. You should be doing this anyway, but if this is the boyfriends weakness, then you CAN'T forget these little things.

Maybe she says that he goes out all the time and comes in late, or intoxicated. So you can slip into conversation a pattern about how when two people really click, when you see the amazing connection between two people, right in front of you, there should be no distractions, nothing should be more important then the amazing bond between the two people (point to you and her)...bla bla. You get the idea.

Just makes sure that you don't say anything negative about the boyfriend, just advertise subtly that you have what the BF has, and much more. Show her that you can fill the voids that the boyfriend has created.

Also, I have a little speech set up and basically memorized already, that talks about never settling for anything but what makes you happy, don't sell yourself short, like is short, there isn't time to waste on something that doesn't make you happy...yada yada. It never mentions of a relationship in the entire thing, it is very general and vague. But it basically shows her that she is settling for something less then total happyness.

You have to play it by ear, stealing a man's girl is not easy. It takes so much skill because each and every move is crutial. Be careful, and I wish you luck.

-Blitz

[This message has been edited by xblitz44x (edited 08-13-2002).]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=9707


And also there are these two threads also
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18373
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18348


Also, you can search (upper right hand corner) and look for a keyword in the title like 'boyfriend' or 'cheat'

 

[Bible_Belt]

i am a cool friend.

That's a contradiction in terms. If you were fvcking her, that would be cool. Otherwise, not cool.

 

[Levex]

Best advice would be to just leave her alone and find somebody else or at least wait until she breaks it off with the other guy. No matter what the situation is, if you know the chick's got a boyfriend and you're still trying to hit it, you'll come off as a douche. I had "talks" with several guys who kept on trying to get with my gf, even though they knew we were going out. It never escalated to anything violent, but i did get the point across that it will if they dont stop. Its just a sign of disrespect, so if you do go for it dont be surprised if her bf doesnt take it lightly.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Best advice would be to just leave her alone and find somebody else or at least wait until she breaks it off with the other guy. No matter what the situation is, if you know the chick's got a boyfriend and you're still trying to hit it, you'll come off as a douche.

Yeah Levex, but this one is special. She's hot and I would be a better boyfriend for her.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

w00rd.

good to see u post dude.

Yeah, it gets hard when I'm too busy promoting Player Supreme on the yahoo seduction group.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Best advice would be to just leave her alone and find somebody else or at least wait until she breaks it off with the other guy. No matter what the situation is, if you know the chick's got a boyfriend and you're still trying to hit it, you'll come off as a douche. I had "talks" with several guys who kept on trying to get with my gf, even though they knew we were going out. It never escalated to anything violent, but i did get the point across that it will if they dont stop. Its just a sign of disrespect, so if you do go for it dont be surprised if her bf doesnt take it lightly.

And you...what? Threatened them? Are you some giant badass or something? I hope you can back up your implied threats, because if you keep making them, someone is going to call you on it.

Both of the chicks I am fvkcing now have some douche who thinks he is her bf. One of them practically peed himself when he saw us together. (I am no giant badass) The other one does not know. He is a body-building security guard. If he tries to "talk" with me, then he and I are going to throw down right then and there. I don't care if I have to break his hands by repeatedly ramming my face into his fists, he is going to regret threatening me

I wish you well, and mean you no disrespect. My point with this is to say that very few quality women are ever really "single" - lots of chicks with bfs put out, so don't hate guys who hit on your girl. And just be careful whom you have your "talks" with. There are some crazy people out there. Good luck.

 

[EFFORT]

I disagree. Simply because I'm friends with someone does not mean automatically translate into fxxxx up with her.

BY FXXXX UP YOU MEAN HOOK UP/SEX? IF THATS WHAT YOU MEAN THEN YEAH BEING A FRIEND DEF DOESN'T TRANSLATE INTO A FXXXX UP

That is bull. She had her bf before I met her.

OK

I think many of you guys here believe that if the girl does not automatically sleep with the guy then she is not interested.

WELL GENERALLY SPEAKING, SEX IS A QUICK PROCESS ASSUMING LOGISTICS ARE IN PLACE (AND EVEN IF THERE NOT IT STILL SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG)

while I agree that being a nice guy is a major no no, I still think that one can be friends with a girl and the relationship can grow from that.

YEAH I AGREE IF YOUR A COOL GUY, GOT YOUR SH*T TOGETHER YOU CAN DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP IN LOTS OF WAYS

Being friends with a girl does not mean that one is going to kiss her ass. One can also benefit (if the friend is cute) from being friends with her because it shows OTHER girls that one is not a social loser.

I AGREE

It is true that girls want a MAN who is not a kiss ass and puts girls on pedestals. It is also true that girls want a man who is not afraid to BE A MAN (i.e. go for the kill- show off that he is not a wimp and that he wants to have sex).

I AGREE

BUT (and this is important) girls HAVE ALSO BEING SOCIALIZED LIKE WE HAVE. While they may be sexual creatures at heart, we still have to confront the fact that they have being socialized.

YEAH I AGREE ITS IMPORTANT TO BE AWARE OF THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING

If they have a bf, then they know that it is wrong for them to be cheating (unless they are hoes- low quality girls).

THIS IS YOUR SOCIAL CONDITIONING HERE AND PART OF THE REASON WHY WOMEN ARE THE WAY THEY ARE, ALWAYS THE FEAR OF BEING CALLED A SLUT/HOE/LOW QUALITY....... CHEATING DOESN'T INSTANTLY MEAN LOW QUALITY

Therefore, we must not expect them to immediately begin to wannna fxxx at first sight. In order to get with them, we must play some of the socialization game (i.e get to know them, movies, club, etc).

YEAH


AGAIN THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT WE KISS THEIR ASS.

YEAH I AGREE

I dont see this point in many of the posts so maybe you guys can comment on this.

THINK YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME, YOUR ORIGINAL QUESTION WAS WORDED A BIT OFF SO I MADE ASSUMPTIONS THAT YOU WERE ASKING HOW DO YOU GET WITH A GIRL WITH A BF WHILE YOUR THERE FRIEND. USUALLY THE PEOPLE THAT POST THOSE KINDS OF QUESTIONS ARE NEW AND LONG GONE IN THAT SITUATION.

AS FOR PEOPLE COMMENTING ON THE FRIEND THING. MOST PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE FRIEND ZONE AREN'T COOL/SOCIAL/NORMAL/SEX WORTHY/HAVE OPTIONS , SO PEOPLE ON THIS FORUM WILL BE QUICK TO TAKE DOWN ANY MENTION OF FRIEND, THATS THE CONTEXT THERE COMING FROM.

CAPS

 

[Mr. Wolf]

there is this girl that i think is cute but has a bf. i am a cool friend. how do i handle this?

Get a better bf, make her jealous.

 

[the_absolute]

Be honest with girls and tell them you date a lot of women at the same time, and that guys who want to be their borefriend are just douches anyway, boring idiots who want to ruin her fun (and everyone elses) and claim to "own her".
Within three months or so you'll have a posse of ****able hotties around and you'll never have to do anything for them apart from give them what their borefriend can't since he is too busy playing video games and whacking off to porn.

Just double wrap that ****. She'll usually be extra slutty with you as well since she really really hates the borefriend for tricking her into thinking he is a real alpha male like me, when in fact he's most likely an estrogen soaked pot-head.

 

[Levex]

you misunderstood. i'm not talking about girls who are casually dating some dude for a month or two. what i meant was long term relationships, in my case 2.5 years. she already said she'll say yes if i pop the question,i doubt it will go that far though. but in any case,when some guy goes hugging on her at work after she told him not to do it 5 minutes after i leave(she was the one who told me), i see that as direct disrespect towards me and borderline sexual harassment.

but anyways,that was my mistake,i associate the term boyfriend with ltr, so if she is just dating a guy or two here and there by all means go for it as anything goes. but if its something serious you ARE a jackass for trying to get with her, no way around that.

 

[BadBoyCoolMan]

reply to EFFORT A MUST READ FOR EVERYONE HERE

thank you for the reply man. It looks like you and I agree on virtually everything (with the exception of the term "low quality girls" perhaps lol).

I want to add some "meat" to my earlier post regarding why being friends with a girl is not necessarily bad. A cool & nice lookin girl can enhance one's social status. This, in turn, translates into getting more girls. It also helps in times of birthdays, club nights, etc when one wants to go out with a girl and not some guys. And having a girl as a friend helps with last minute gift ideas for another friend or family member. lol

Unlike many in this forum, I do not believe that being friends with a girl translates into not being able to have sex with that particular girl. Certainly the risk is there but imagine the following scenario. Boy meets girl and the two become friends. They have lots of fun together. They go to parties, clubs, movies, etc. But G has a boyfriend and B does not get any positive "sexual signals" from G so he decides to stop being friends with her. He no longer talks to her. He wants to act all tough, etc. What is wrong with this picture?

It may be the case that G will never have sex with B. She may have sex with 100 other guys but B. However, by ending the relationship not only does B lose a cool friend and all the other sidekicks that come with that (see above), but jus as important, he eliminates his chances to have sex with G completely. One can argue that maybe now that G and B are no longer friends, G will all of a sudden start seein him as attractive and fxxxable. I disagree.

I believe that if the girl is of high quality (i.e. not a hoe or a complete dumbass), then it is more likely that she will sleep with the guy if she is friends with him and the guy allows the relationship to develop naturally rather than if the guy stops talking to her completely. Of course, this means that they guy should not call her all the time. He should act as if her having a bf does not affect him at all. He should not engage in conversations relating to her problems with her bf. And he should not make his desire to want to fxxx to her obvious. But he should throw some hints. He should be ambiguous. But never act in a overt manner.

I will offer my own case as an example.

There is a girl who I recently met and became friends with. I would say that she is an 8. She is a college sophmore, 20 years old, and believe it or not, a virgin. Yup, you read that right. She is still a V. And yes, she does have a boyfriend. Last week, one of my other friends (my best friend actually) had her birthday party. Because I had had a pg scare with the girl I had been fxxxxing (but that is another story), I completely forgot about the bday until that day when my best friend called me and asked if I was going to her party. I did not have a date so I called the 8 chick. She gladly cancelled her plans & went out with me. She took me to victoria's secret and she helped me pick a gift for my homegirl. She rarely mentioned her bf and the time that she did she did not speak highly of him. In fact, she told me that she was having second doubts about him. I quickly changed the subject because I did not want to engage in a "girlfriend-girlfriend" conversation. She thanked me for inviting her to the party and now wants me to go to the club with her.

I may never have sex with this girl. But that does not mean that I'm a loser because I'm friends with her. I would be a loser if I called her everyday and sshi like that. I havent called her since that day actually. Now, I dont expect her to drop her bf, call me, and tell me that she wants to lose her virginity to me even though she barely knows me. Hell, she is being going out with her bf for 3 months and he still hasnt got the prize.

I know that girls are sexual creatures and want to be xxxxed. Trust me, I have been with plenty of women (17 to be precise). But the women that I have been with (to be completely honest) have not been "high quality." While they are not prostitutes or nothing like that, none of them have been virgins. And I know that the sleep around jus like I do.

I am only 24 years old and I love sex like everyone does. Difference is that I'm actually good at it. lol All jokes aside, sex is cool and all that but having relationships is also important. Life is not all about sex. I may never **** the 8 girl mentioned above but I'm no less of a man because I decide to be friends with her even though she has a bf. It is only when I engage in psycho behavior (calling her, blowing up her phone, buying flowers, asking her out every weekend) that I eliminate my chances of having sex with her.

SEX is awesome but dont live your life with sex as the only goal. Have other goals in life. Make friends. You may not get laid as much but the quality of women will be better.

I know some of you will disagree and that is fine. I will agree to disagree but think about what I said. I hope this helps someone. I have read good tips on this site but I'm afraid that many of the guys here (while they may try to give good tips) tend to focus on immediate (or instant) gratification wayyy too much. Life is sometimes best enjoyed slowly.

 

[ReZin]

there is this girl that i think is cute but has a bf. i am a cool friend. how do i handle this?

if this question has already been answered, please let me know how i can search for this on the forum?

Sorry man but that's going nowhere. All it is going to do is cause unnecessary drama and going after another guys' chick is pretty low, seriously, would you want another dude going after your girl? If she wants you she will make the moves. My guess is she hasn't done anything of the sort so you are better off going after a girl that ISN'T taken.

 

[EFFORT]

thank you for the reply man. It looks like you and I agree on virtually everything (with the exception of the term "low quality girls" perhaps lol).

hehe yeah


I want to add some "meat" to my earlier post regarding why being friends with a girl is not necessarily bad. A cool & nice lookin girl can enhance one's social status. This, in turn, translates into getting more girls. It also helps in times of birthdays, club nights, etc when one wants to go out with a girl and not some guys. And having a girl as a friend helps with last minute gift ideas for another friend or family member. lol

yeah there was a post here recently about having female friends, nothing wrong with it

Unlike many in this forum, I do not believe that being friends with a girl translates into not being able to have sex with that particular girl.

yeah if your a "sex worthy guy" your gonna f*ck regardless. The afcs that use the befriend technique are coming from a manipulative place where they befriend the girl hoping to translate that into sex but they fail. They then say its being friends that messed them up but in reality it was because they weren't "sex worthy" in the first place.

Certainly the risk is there but imagine the following scenario.

really shouldn't be a risk if your sex worthy

Boy meets girl and the two become friends. They have lots of fun together. They go to parties, clubs, movies, etc. But G has a boyfriend and B does not get any positive "sexual signals" from G so he decides to stop being friends with her. He no longer talks to her. He wants to act all tough, etc. What is wrong with this picture?

Theres different sides to this. A lot of guys are coming from a to passive non **** worthy place where they have no sexual impact on women what so ever. In my opinion its important for these guys to go through a phase where they just push things to the end and crash and burn it. Go for the kiss, give her a speech about how sex is necessary for "B and G" to keep talking. These guys have been getting LJBFed all there life and its not helping anything for them.

Another side is guys that already have enough friends and just need women for sex. So if she's not going to put out theres no point in wasting time on her while another girl will.

It basically comes down to your personal situation. Some people maybe in social circle building mode, so amounting friends is a good thing. Just very person and situation specific, a lot of people miss posting these sort of details so people give advice from different prespectives and sh*t gets confusing.



It may be the case that G will never have sex with B. She may have sex with 100 other guys but B. However, by ending the relationship not only does B lose a cool friend and all the other sidekicks that come with that (see above), but jus as important, he eliminates his chances to have sex with G completely. One can argue that maybe now that G and B are no longer friends, G will all of a sudden start seein him as attractive and fxxxable. I disagree.

Sex is sex, if the guy is sex worthy sex will happen, has nothing to do with or without being friends, it has to do with the fact that the guy is sex worthy

I believe that if the girl is of high quality (i.e. not a hoe or a complete dumbass), then it is more likely that she will sleep with the guy if she is friends with him and the guy allows the relationship to develop naturally rather than if the guy stops talking to her completely.

thats irrelevant because a sex worthy guy would have sex in both cases

Of course, this means that they guy should not call her all the time. He should act as if her having a bf does not affect him at all. He should not engage in conversations relating to her problems with her bf. And he should not make his desire to want to fxxx to her obvious. But he should throw some hints. He should be ambiguous. But never act in a overt manner.

again depends on the guys situation. If shes a friend then shes a friend you just act normally how a friend would act.

I will offer my own case as an example.

There is a girl who I recently met and became friends with. I would say that she is an 8. She is a college sophmore, 20 years old, and believe it or not, a virgin.

doubt that

Yup, you read that right. She is still a V. And yes, she does have a boyfriend.

hmmmm, something doesnt sound right here, how old are you and everyone else ?

Last week, one of my other friends (my best friend actually) had her birthday party. Because I had had a pg scare with the girl I had been fxxxxing (but that is another story), I completely forgot about the bday until that day when my best friend called me and asked if I was going to her party. I did not have a date so I called the 8 chick. She gladly cancelled her plans & went out with me. She took me to victoria's secret and she helped me pick a gift for my homegirl. She rarely mentioned her bf and the time that she did she did not speak highly of him. In fact, she told me that she was having second doubts about him. I quickly changed the subject because I did not want to engage in a "girlfriend-girlfriend" conversation. She thanked me for inviting her to the party and now wants me to go to the club with her.

situation sounds interesting

I may never have sex with this girl. But that does not mean that I'm a loser because I'm friends with her.

thats true

I would be a loser if I called her everyday and sshi like that. I havent called her since that day actually. Now, I dont expect her to drop her bf, call me, and tell me that she wants to lose her virginity to me even though she barely knows me. Hell, she is being going out with her bf for 3 months and he still hasnt got the prize.

either you've mistaken and she isn't a virgin and the bf is railing her, or your right and the bf is a huge afc getting into a relationship without sex then remaining in it for 3months + without it

I know that girls are sexual creatures and want to be xxxxed. Trust me, I have been with plenty of women (17 to be precise). But the women that I have been with (to be completely honest) have not been "high quality." While they are not prostitutes or nothing like that, none of them have been virgins. And I know that the sleep around jus like I do.

so virgin= high quality? and girls that sleep around = not high quality?

I am only 24 years old and I love sex like everyone does. Difference is that I'm actually good at it. lol All jokes aside, sex is cool and all that but having relationships is also important.

yeah they are

Life is not all about sex.

actually it is, reproduction is our 1 and only purpose biologically

I may never **** the 8 girl mentioned above but I'm no less of a man because I decide to be friends with her even though she has a bf. It is only when I engage in psycho behavior (calling her, blowing up her phone, buying flowers, asking her out every weekend) that I eliminate my chances of having sex with her.



SEX is awesome but dont live your life with sex as the only goal. Have other goals in life. Make friends. You may not get laid as much but the quality of women will be better.

I know some of you will disagree and that is fine. I will agree to disagree but think about what I said. I hope this helps someone. I have read good tips on this site but I'm afraid that many of the guys here (while they may try to give good tips) tend to focus on immediate (or instant) gratification wayyy too much. Life is sometimes best enjoyed slowly.


yeah i pretty much agree with you man, i think the thing to take from this thread is that a lot of things are situation/person dependent, and the main focus should be striving to become a sex worthy guy since thats what really matters

bold