What to do if second date goes bad? Help!!

[Kanpeki]

Hey Fellas!
I had this great first date with this girl. I kept her laughing,applied some C&F and did some slight kino. I waited a couple of days later and asked her out again. She told me she had a plan already on the day I suggested but offered an alternative day. I thought cool.. I thought for the second date we should do something fun & active. I found this amusement place with bowling,Kareoke,table tennis,pool,etc all in one. It looked pretty cool but the only problem was the place was a little out of the way from where we lived. She was still down to go though. We got there and played some of the games, and was having a good time at first but she started to look a little bored after a couple of hours.

She said she had a tough work week and was a little tired, so we left earlier than I expected and went to a little cozy restaurant to eat. I kept her laughing again and when it was time to go. She thanked me for the good time, but I felt she didn't have a good time and was just being polite.She told her friend how funny I was and said next time we should all go drinking together. Is that a bad sign? I kinda blew it off like I didn't hear her.After that I feel like she only looks at me as a friend not a lover and wants to show me off to her other friends to entertain them.

The reason why I took her to that amusement place was I wanted to do something different and associate being with me as a fun time, but now I think she might associate me as this guy that took her out in the middle of nowhere to play games and made her tired.This happened a couple of days ago. I didn't arrange another date yet. I wanted to wait a few days to clear my head. I not sure if I should arrange something right away and if she says she is busy or she wants to bring her friend next time, take that as a hint or wait until she calls me. I want to give her the gift of missing me, but I feel I haven't established anything with her yet. I know I make her laugh and I'm not afraid to touch her, but I have yet to do a kiss close on her. Maybe that hurt me.

Also I been going out with this girl but I didn't even ask if she had a BF. Sometimes I read the post here and people say there's no need to ask her just assume that she is single as long as she is spending time with you but now I'm thinking I should have. Of course I'm dating other women, but she is the one I like the most. Am I wasting my time? Advice greatly appreciated!

 

[red_headed_stepchild]

she aint into you, Bro. Go on to the next one.

 

[mountain]

red headed step child is most likely right on this one. But it doesn't mean you can't learn something from this situation.

Don't get in a hurry to rectify this. When you rush, you make poor decisions, and you will come off as desperate. Wait a week or more to call her, it's not going to make her like you less. Probably the best thing to do is to come to terms in your own mind that you aren't going to call her at all. Whatever it takes to relax your worry.

It's pretty much standard for a woman to tell you shes busy on whatever night you chose to ask her out, whether she is actually busy or not. It's a little control game. I wouldn't even offer another night. Just say, "maybe another time, it's been nice talking to you" or some variation of that and be off the phone.

Work on not repeating these mistakes on your other prospects

 

[TheFlyingMan]

mountain, can you lay out what mistakes he made?
Being new to the game, I didn't really see many mistakes?

 

[mountain]

hey TheFlyingMan,

It just comes down to availability. He probably called too early and then when he was on the phone and she declined his first date, he offered a second day.

Without realizing it, he's imply a few things to the girl with these actions. First, that he is not a busy man. Second, that he is willing to rearrange his schedule for a girl he barely knows.

If you've read around this forum you are familiar with the whole alpha male idea or being "the prize", its all really the same idea. Now consider his actions in light of this ideal. Would a man of high value call you immediately? Probably not, he'd be busy. Would a man with many options offer another night that would be more convenient for you? No, he'd call another one of his women.

So as silly as these little details sound, they really set the stage for how things play out.

 

[TheFlyingMan]

hmm thanks for that, i never thought it would make that much of a difference!

 

[d9930380]

I wouldn't worry about that, I don't think saying another date helped or hindered anything. I'm sure it wasn't a deal breaker.

She wanted you to come out with her friends, that could be for 2 reasons:
1) to get their opinion off you.
2) to put you in the friendzone, by going out with you in a scenario where you wouldn't feel like it was a date and therefore wouldn't try anything.

Either way, she probably likes you, you just have to make sure she sees you the way you want her to. If you accept the date with the friends, make sure it's somewhere where you can get her alone and then step up your game and try and get a kiss. Have you tried to kiss her? - Girls think there is something wrong if you don't try.

 

[Kanpeki]

Thanks fellas for the advice! I appreciate it. Yeah, I understand where mountain is coming from. It is important to establish yourself as the prize, but it's kinda of tricky playing hard to get when you still haven't establish anything with the girl yet.If the girl ask you if you are free on a certain day and you happen to be but you say no just to show her you're busy. She'll probably go out with another guy and forget about you. When, I asked that girl out the second time she told me she had another plan. I expected her to say that because my call was last minute, but I was hoping that she would ask me for another time and she did. Some girls will just say I have plans and the guy will keep throwing out dates. That shows you have no life.

I didn't do that. I wasn't bending my schedule for her.She was first to ask me for another time. Which lead me to believe that she wanted to see me.. And no d9930380 I haven't kissed her yet. Just a lot of flirting and touching. Damn I'm slow! I'm not trying to rush her into a relationship and scare her off but at the same time I don't wanna move to slow and be put in the friendzone.. I'm still trying to figure out how to give this girl attention without coming off as needy. I'll wait like mountain suggested and see what happens in a week or 2..If she asks to bring her friend next time. Do you think it is better to be blunt and say I'd rather it be only us or go out with her friend and give her all of the attention? thanks again!

 

[Roz]

she seems like an intresting girl, if you like her personality, she seems like akeeper ...
if you just wanna fvck her don't even try to waste her time......
it sounds like she does like you.....maybe she just wants to take her to time (she has the right to)

 

[flexion_]

Its really hard to know how she actually feels. One thing I will say - 2 hours playing games is a bit long don't your think? - should have played like an 30minuts and broke out some wine and a picnic basket and done a walk or something.

Give her a call sometime (don't rush it) and if she is interested she'll go out again. You are going to definitely have to step up the kino and kiss her though very soon.

If she wants to meet up with her drinking friends then just make some excuse to come really late and isolate her after via coffee or a late walk without her friends - or just not go at all.