What to do? Gf troubles

[evil_tomato]

Hey guys,

It's been a while. But I have a tricky situation that I need your assistance with.

So I have been dating this girl for 2 months now and everything's been going great. Fantastic chemistry, great times together, we both get on well with each other's parents, she also has a 4 year old daughter who I get on with great even though she's a rat bag.

Anyway my issue is, we see each other 4-5 days a week, I'm always sleeping over hers and she gets really upset when I cancel plans to see her especially if I'm not up to going she can be really needy at times. She has quite abit going on in her life which is stressing her out and is draining me aswell. She picked up on this and started saying things like "if you can't support me at my worse then we are not going to work".... I do my best to be there for her and listen to problems, I also try and spoil her as much as I can but because I am not working I can't do it all the time and she gets mad about that too. I feel like she's starting to become hard to keep happy.

We haven't even fu**ed in a while. She's been really cold and distant with me the last couple of days and suggest we go on a "break".

Is she trying to break up with me? I really don't know what to do anymore as it's doing my head in. I don't know what she wants from me. Her daughter also takes a lot out of me which is why I don't like staying there all the time. She isn't the only person in the world with problems, but to be cold and distant towards me because of it isn't fair. What do I do?

 

[tripod23]

just say ....look baby i will support you in any way i can you know that , but you must understand i also have shyt going on in my own which i need to take care of , just say now if you want a break then thats fine , and you walk and never look back.....remember shes the one with the child......this is never easy .

she is also testing you to see how strong you are , if you start to buckle she will dump you trust me ,

when she starts all this if you cant support me bullshyt , just say look baby tell me whats bothering you , and LISTEN......then just say dont worry honey everything will be ok......now give me a kiss with those lips of yours ,

she will melt and it will be back to nomal......it should be anyway....thats the plan.

good luck

 

[El Suave]

When she says she wants a break, you give her the break. And don't EVER come back from that break! When a woman asks for a break, she has her eye on another guy, possibly even sleeping with him.

Why do you even want to raise some other man's child? What's wrong with you?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Read Rollo's blog about "relationship equity".
Basically, a man does all this shyt for his woman thinking that he's building up a good bank of brownie points.
But no matter how much he invests his time, money, freedom and exclusive attention, these bytches will still do what your girl is doing.
They can't see how much you've done for them in the past, all they can worry about is the present and how you make them feel now.
It's a fvcked up dynamic.
I'd have a good talk to her along the lines of what tripod said. If there's no noticeable and pleasing change in her behaviour, get the fvck out.

 

[evil_tomato]

i should mention she also has bi polar and has constant mood swings.

She doesnt want to "talk" right now because shes "numb and has too much going on and just needs a break from everything" so she hasnt messaged me at all and neither have i. how long am i suppose to leave it like this?

 

[DatDude1435]

i should mention she also has bi polar and has constant mood swings.

I suggest you get out NOW. If you proceed forward you are a dead man walking.

Been there. I crashed and burned after a 9 month relationship with a bipolar woman. Many times women have Borderline Personality Disorder BUT psychiatrists often list the official diagnosis as "Bipolar" so that it will be covered by her insurance. Insurances don't typically cover personality disorders.

So you could have an actual BPD on your hands disguised as Bipolar. My ex was officially diagnosed as Bipolar but I'm convinced she was truly BPD. Doesn't matter though, bat sh!t crazy is still bat sh!t crazy.

 

[DatDude1435]

You probably have strong feelings for her, but IMO there's too much baggage for you take on. She will always be Bipolar and while it is manageable know imbalances will occur. And are you ready to be instant-daddy to her child?

 

[Big Nuts]

You met her kid after 2 months?????? Big red flag.

I would suggest that this is a sh!t test as to whether or not you are the person who will support her and her child for the rest of her life.

Do you have resources other than sex? To a single mom, sex is at least #5 down the list as to what is important to her.

Single moms are low hanging fruit whose sexual market value is near zero because she has a child(ren). Sure there are attractive sexy moms...I bang a lot of them...but I never grow attached because I will never be high enough up the priority list. Just life!

 

[In2theGame]

just say ....look baby i will support you in any way i can you know that , but you must understand i also have shyt going on in my own which i need to take care of , just say now if you want a break then thats fine , and you walk and never look back.....remember shes the one with the child......this is never easy .

she is also testing you to see how strong you are , if you start to buckle she will dump you trust me ,

when she starts all this if you cant support me bullshyt , just say look baby tell me whats bothering you , and LISTEN......then just say dont worry honey everything will be ok......now give me a kiss with those lips of yours ,

she will melt and it will be back to nomal......it should be anyway....thats the plan.

good luck

lol This post reminds me of me.

 

[Cremasta]

so she hasnt messaged me at all and neither have i. how long am i suppose to leave it like this?

Forever!

There should be absolutely nothing going on in the first six months of any relationship except sex, or deciding when you'll have sex again. For her to talk about having a break in two months is a MAJOR problem.

BPD or not, you owe her nothing... walk away.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

Read Rollo's blog about "relationship equity".

what is rollo's blog?
i have been here for so long now and it never occurred to me to ask. now i am curious. will someone give me a link?

 

[VladPatton]

Do yourself a favor and hit the Eject button. This is getting complicated, stressful, and troubling very fast. First she hits the accelerator, now she hits the brakes. She is in full control of the relationship.

Acknowledge and agree with her 'taking a break' idea fully, and capitalize on it. Let this growing disaster fade into the abyss. Make yourself scarce, change cell phone numbers (she'll eventually snap and chase you hard in a little while) and put this monster to bed. Tell her you found someone when she comes pleasing back to you.

You'll be glad you did when you get a chick that is stress-free, fun, and not a whackjob!

Good luck, and keep us posted. Next time bail out quick!

 

[Greasy Pig]

what is rollo's blog?
i have been here for so long now and it never occurred to me to ask. now i am curious. will someone give me a link?

http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/21/relational-equity/

 

[joker79]

read anything you find in Rollo's blog, you'll see the light

 

[papawapa]

Put yourself first. Forget about her feelings.

I spent 13 years with a cluster B. Now bipolar may not be as extreme but she is mentally ill and will be a pain in your a$$. Guarenteed. A woman that is not healthy is incapable of having a healthy relationship. Lastly, ask yourself this...why would you want to be in a relationship with a mentally ill woman when there are plenty of healthy women in the world?

 

[evil_tomato]

I truly love her though and I'd be torn if we didn't work out. Ever since we talked the other day I noticed she has changed a bit... She has become more distant, not texting or talking as much, less affectionate...she just keeps telling me that she has so much going on in her life and that sometimes she needs to put me on the "back burner"....but insists it's nothing to do with me and she's still happy being with me but I dunno I feel like things have changed and I don't know if she's getting cold feet or what

 

[Cremasta]

Right now, on her list of priorities, you're somewhere between 'washing her hair' and 'sorting the sock drawer'.

Trust your gut. If you feel like things have changed, then they have.

Do what most have us have done in the past. Walk away... then upgrade.

Cheers