What to do after making the mistake of asking a girl out over text?

[Speculator E]

I've met a girl at a club and she gave me her phone number without me asking. Said I was cute and told me to text her. So I did. We exchange text a few times with her answering back within a few minutes but then I tried asking her out over text, which I shouldn't have and called instead. I was drunk and wasn't thinking.

The last text was: "Hey. Are you free later this week? Wanna hang out?"

It's been a day and she hasn't reply. No big surprise. So, do you guys think I've blown it? Or is there a way I can still save this? I want to call her or send another text but don't want to appear too desperate.

 

[blackwolf]

see this is what i hate about girls. it's so fuking stupid. they like you but then you text them something like that, which i don't see what the big deal is, and they ignore you because somehow it appears less alpha or some crazy sh1t? *sigh* i honestly think if a girl really likes you, it doesnt matter if you text or call. but apparently you should call instead.

 

[Iceberg]

What was the big mistake?

Yeah, I know people on this site say "Call the girl to ask her out", but really, if she's interested, she'll reply with an answer. It's not like she was interested before and sees your text and all of sudden doesn't like you anymore.

Most girls I meet, once I get their number, I set up a date via text. Sorry, but I just dont feel like talking on the phone after being at work all day.

The only mistake I think you made was sending her texts prior to asking her out. You could have done it all at once. "Hey it's Speculator, from the club. It was fun meeting you. Let's do drinks this Thurs. Wear that dress I saw you in last Friday."

See. I did the "nice to meet you" "****y funny" and "date request" all in one text. No need for the back and forth.

 

[SeymourCake]

If she's not interested then move on and learn from your mistakes. Next time, ask girls out in person.

You live and you learn. This is just a minor setback.

 

[Speculator E]

What was the big mistake?

There wasn't much rapport building before I asked her. We talked for maybe 5 minutes but then she had to leave. I felt a good vibe with her but was kind of surprised it was enough for her to give me her number.

 

[blackwolf]

yeah, when you first meet a girl always ask them out before you start chatting them up. leave that for the date. getting them out on a date is the mission when you meet a chicka. nothing else.

 

[The_411]

I don't like the way you framed yourself in asking.

Yes I think phone is preferrable but

"Are you free and do you wanna hang out?"

You might as well have just handed in your man card right there.

Asking a girl if she's free gives the impression that you think she's busy, which in turn means you're trying to fit in her schedule as oppose dto what should happen her fitting into your schedule or not at all.

I understand that we as men want to know ahead of time to eliminate the shutdown due scheduling conflict, but you should try ellicitng the infomation through indirect means, or at least in a way that has some subtlety.

Don't ask a woman if she wants to do anything.

Say something to the effect I'm heading over to Johnny's cave spot (ficticious name of some bar/lounge) on Friday at 8pm and you're welcome to join me.

This way it's an open invitation and it doesn't require a yes or no answer. You just go where you want to go and at what time and if she shows up if she doesn't it's no skin off your back.

If she likes you she'll be there.

If she says she'll be there but flakes or doesn't show she doesn't

 

[Iceberg]

There wasn't much rapport building before I asked her. We talked for maybe 5 minutes but then she had to leave. I felt a good vibe with her but was kind of surprised it was enough for her to give me her number.

If she liked you enough to give you her number, then she liked you enough to meet you for a drink.

If she gave you her number without the intention of hanging with you, then she's just some stupid party chick who probably does this every weekend.

Basically what I'm saying is, the fact that she gave you her number covered the "rapport-building" stage. At least enough to set up a date. You didn't do anything wrong. If she doesn't reply then that's on her. Probably just an AW.

When I meet a girl at a bar and get her number, I don't walk away thinking to myself "Now I just have to call/text her a few time to build a rapport! THEN I'll ask her out!" I just ask her out.

I don't like the way you framed yourself in asking.

Yes I think phone is preferrable but

"Are you free and do you wanna hang out?"

You might as well have just handed in your man card right there.

That is a fair point. Typically I'll phrase it like "Hey, I should be free this Thursday. Let's get some drinks." or "Let's do happy hour today."

If she's not free, she'll let you know. No point in asking that.

 

[Jeffst1980]

There is no need to call girls to ask them out anymore. Sure, it's more personal to call rather than text, but that's only if she PICKS UP. Chances are, if she doesn't know you that well, she'd rather hear you sell yourself on her voicemail before deciding whether or not to call back. Even then, it's tough for girls to return phone calls to strangers.

Texting, however, is efficient, contemporary, and allows even the least confidence speaker to come across as charming. It is probably technology's greatest gift to the modern man as far as dating is concerned.

It is a natural inclination to rebel against something new and popular, but those that advocate calling instead of texting, getting off facebook, etc. are limiting their options and receiving no real gain in the process. If a girl is attracted to you, she will be fine with you messaging her to ask her out, end of story.

 

[The_411]

There is no need to call girls to ask them out anymore. Sure, it's more personal to call rather than text, but that's only if she PICKS UP. Chances are, if she doesn't know you that well, she'd rather hear you sell yourself on her voicemail before deciding whether or not to call back. Even then, it's tough for girls to return phone calls to strangers.

Texting, however, is efficient, contemporary, and allows even the least confidence speaker to come across as charming. It is probably technology's greatest gift to the modern man as far as dating is concerned.

It is a natural inclination to rebel against something new and popular, but those that advocate calling instead of texting, getting off facebook, etc. are limiting their options and receiving no real gain in the process. If a girl is attracted to you, she will be fine with you messaging her to ask her out, end of story.

Actually, I'm rebelling against texting facebook, twitter, because those things promote narcissism and the absurd level of entitlement we see today.

I get that they have value in limited doses but by indulging you're giving women attention that they haven't shown they deserve.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

There wasn't much rapport building before I asked her. We talked for maybe 5 minutes but then she had to leave. I felt a good vibe with her but was kind of surprised it was enough for her to give me her number.

Dude u dont need "more rapport" when a girl is attracted to you.

Call/text it doesn't matter, the problem was you weren't specific with your plans.

Whenever u ask a girl out put some thought into acouple places, dates that fit your schedule and obviously time.




PIMP

 

[Cherokee]

There's that old quote that goes something like...

If she's interested, she'll move mountains to get to you/fvck you/be with you

Girls must be dripping wet when they think of you or even hear your name... and yes it's possible

Do you get them in this state before asking them stuff?

Be sexual, be fun, be a man.

 

[f283000]

If she liked you enough to give you her number, then she liked you enough to meet you for a drink.

Not really. Women give out numbers now a days like they give out friendships on facebook. A number much like a facebook friend doesn't mean anything. It's only an ego booster for her.

It's part of the game. She gives her number away to a guy she finds "cute," she feels a little excitement, her ego is boosted by the attention, but does it mean she wants to f*** this guy or ever will? NO!

Your game and your looks were decent enough to get her to give you the # for a little ego boosting for her but that's where it ends. Your looks and game just weren't enough to tingle her vag enough to want to meet you that's all.

Move on to the next one.