What to do about a gf that needs constant attention and validation

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Gf of a year. She’s 24. We both have kids. She’s absolutely obsessed with me. So it will make no sense when I write this next part in that I’ve caught her twice now texting with other guys. The reason for it though is she needs constant validation. If I would allow it she would be with me 24-7 and when not together we would be texting and talking. Constantly says how she misses me and is in love with me and how our sex is the best ever yadi yada. I’m not the type to text all the time and need space from time to time. So when she senses this she’s turned to other guy friends for attention. Most recently it was her sending pics to a guy who wanted them .. not nude but in her tshirt and bikini bottoms. Although he did ask for nudes she didn’t send. He lives on the other side of the country. What do I do from here? Do I flat out end it? This is literally the only issue we have in our relationship. Everything else is extremely easy and natural but her need for constant validation is ruining our relationship. She’s not cheating physically nor emotionally. She shares her phone location without me asking. She’s either at work, at home when she has her kids or she’s with me. That’s it. The first time I saw it I clearly let it be known this isn’t okay and that if she wouldn’t be ok with me doing it then why is she? Now that I caught it being done a second time do I end it for good? Clearly it goes on frequently enough that I’ve seen it so I’m not naive enough to think this is the only two times

Single mom gf texting other gf and op says it doesn't make sense because she loved him.

I feel like Homer Simpson watching football in the groin. Op, you're not doing it right.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Detach. Prepare two backup chicks. Exit when comfortable.

1+

I got a series of hilarious texts from girls or nudes that are awesome for trolling.

 

[derby1]

Sometimes, she shows me what they write to her and we laugh at them together. If you're dating a good looking girl she will always have dudes trying to get her.

when a woman thinks her chaps SMV and social proof is high enough, simps and selfies dont even register in her brain. She removes the lot

A pal of mine earns around 400k a year, hes got a door bell on his front door like Toad of toad hall.

His missus is a 9/10 and last took a selfie in 2017,

 

[NSX-R]

Low quality woman in my book . A woman who has self respect would block the dude who asked for nudes and not at least send him underwear photos . It’s even worse cause she told you about that and thought that you would not do anything. It means she doesn’t care about what you think . All that plus all these excuses you are saying to yourself about how much she’s into you or whatever . I smell there will be a time of pain in the coming future.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

So when she senses this she’s turned to other guy friends for attention. Most recently it was her sending pics to a guy who wanted them .. not nude but in her tshirt and bikini bottoms. Although he did ask for nudes she didn’t send. He lives on the other side of the country. What do I do from here? Do I flat out end it?

Yes. You should tell her that you will not accept that. Should be part of your standards. If she sends images of her self to strangers then that is a red flag. Tell her to comply or tell her the front door is open.

 

[SpartanWarrior77]

If I were you, I'd have some backup chicks like one of the posters said in order to have an exit strategy, abundance mentality and not treat your situation so seriously. Alternatively, I would buy an old flip phone or install some kind of software on her phone and tell her its for her own good. She wants to behave like a little kid well then she gets little kid measures. If you say that she is as submissive as you say, she'll oblige.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Gf of a year. She’s 24. We both have kids. She’s absolutely obsessed with me. So it will make no sense when I write this next part in that I’ve caught her twice now texting with other guys. The reason for it though is she needs constant validation. If I would allow it she would be with me 24-7 and when not together we would be texting and talking. Constantly says how she misses me and is in love with me and how our sex is the best ever yadi yada. I’m not the type to text all the time and need space from time to time. So when she senses this she’s turned to other guy friends for attention. Most recently it was her sending pics to a guy who wanted them .. not nude but in her tshirt and bikini bottoms. Although he did ask for nudes she didn’t send. He lives on the other side of the country. What do I do from here? Do I flat out end it? This is literally the only issue we have in our relationship. Everything else is extremely easy and natural but her need for constant validation is ruining our relationship. She’s not cheating physically nor emotionally. She shares her phone location without me asking. She’s either at work, at home when she has her kids or she’s with me. That’s it. The first time I saw it I clearly let it be known this isn’t okay and that if she wouldn’t be ok with me doing it then why is she? Now that I caught it being done a second time do I end it for good? Clearly it goes on frequently enough that I’ve seen it so I’m not naive enough to think this is the only two times

You both have kids and you both flirt with other people. And it sounds like you've caught her doing it and want her to stop, but you justify yourself doing it. Does that seem fair to you?

'everyone does it', wrong. Like others have said it's a form of emotional cheating. She may only be doing it because you do it or are otherwise not as emotionally available.

If she really is a blackhole for attention and it feels like nothing you do keeps her loyal then wtf are you doing with her?

I wouldn't advise justifying her actions if it feels wrong to you. That's how you end up undermining your principles and cucking yourself.

 

[Redwolf]

I had a girl I was trying to get with once. She would text and flirt but never meet up. I finally told her that she shouldn't apply for the position if she didn't want the job.

She told me she just wanted to see if she would get accepted.

That spoke volumes. I don't waste time on her anymore