What this website has done for me & where I've been (long)

[brosnake]

(This post was inspired by backbreaker's Courge=Freedom post)

There was a time in my life where I would sit home on a Friday night and cry.

Actually, let's back up. I was the token chubby kid in school that was constantly picked on. My grades were outstanding but my social life (especially with women) was non-existant. I went to one school dance in four years of high school. I had a (singular) girlfriend for all of two weeks. About 8 months after we dated she came out of the closet and informed everyone she was a lesbian and was now dating a female. That was not a confidence booster. When my PE class ran the mile, I always came in last. I think I could do a mile in 18 minutes back then. I remember this popular dude at my school would lap me as he was running the mile, after he passed me, he would turn around to run backwards and call me a fag.

I was incredibly shy. I lacked the confidence to hold an interaction with any person, let alone a woman. If a woman did randomly talk to me (I would never dream of approaching one), I began nervous literally to the point of shaking and sweating profusely. The only solace I found was at my computer screen, usually on IRC chatting with other nerds. Most of the thoughts that dominated my days were incredibly negative. The worst part of all of this however, was that my ego was so fvcking big that I refused to admit to myself that I had a problem. I thought the world was wrong and that I was right.

I completed my college degree in three years and never in that time did I have a girlfriend. I had one sexual encounter with a drunk UG. I couldn't even get it up to perform because she was so narlie. I would also like to note that only a handful of people that I knew had (or ever had) been in a relationship. One Saturday night I was sitting at my computer, eating potato chips, and I had what the drunks call a 'moment of clarity.' I realized that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I wasn't a complete person after all. So I searched the Internet for dating advice and I found David D.

I read and re-read his e-book. It still took me 2 months to actually get up the nerve to talk to a girl. Right before I went to approach my body felt sick. The pain was intense and real. My ego was still trying to protect itself from the harsh realities of this world. My ego (through my body) was trying to sabotage me from getting laid. I remember that first cold approach.

Me: Hey what's up?
Her: Ummmmmmm. I'm waiting for my boyfriend. Ummmm I gotta go. (almost runs away).

I realized I was going to need some more practice. So I went out to meet women. Four or five nights a week I would be at a bar or party or club. I started talking to girls. I tried to be ****y&funny like David D advised. My success was limited because I didn't know what to do after the ****y&funny part. I would stand there and say some ballsy sh1t and the girls would be intrigued a little, yet they soon realized that it was all a front. I had no concept of rapport. Girls would ask my "buying" questions (Where are you from? What's your name?) and I would just keep spouting out ****y sh1t. I'm not a ****y a**hole, that's not congruent to me and my personality. Girls saw through me as clear as I could. Don't get me wrong here, the stuff David D says besides the c&f crap was gold. He shattered my reality, in fact, the first 100 pages of his e-book are primarily focused on transforming you from an AFC to a Man. I'm very glad I read it even though it wasn't exactly one size fit all (like he claims).

So I found ASF. They talked about memorizing scripts. They talked about higher value and eliciting values and lowering values and AMOGs and frames and NLP and hypnosis and all of this crazy sh1t. It reminded me a lot of the computer programming algorithms I used at work. Glorious terms and technical jargon I could use to pinpoint my frustrations! These guys were obviously nerds like me. I would bet money Mystery played EverQuest, but I digress.

*REAL LIFE PICK-UPS*
Me: Hey do you guys know 80s music?
HB: That's the worst pick-up line I've ever heard.
****
Me: Hey I think you're cute and I just wanted to talk to you.
HB: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA (turns back)
****
Me: Hey what's up?
HB: (points to random dude at the bar, that's right just points and says NOTHING)

Although I learned a lot of good things from the ASF forums (there are some excellent archived posters there) something was still missing. I was incongruent as the ASF board likes to say. I then stumbled across the SoSuave message board and the DJ bible.

I read some posts from a guy named Pook. He wrote with clarity and creativity. When reading them one can tell the posts were inspired by his own personal revelations. To say they were life changing would be a misnomer. They did not change my life but rather gave me a second life. An entirely new and better life. I realized most of the stuff on ASF was just another form of supplication. These weren't REAL men of honor and integrity. These guys were emotional dildos taking any shape they needed to in order to bag that HB10. By keeping the focus always on yourself, one can never fail. By constantly improving and growing you can become that 'great catch' all of the ASF guys are trying to impersonate.

To be fair to ASF, my goals in the game are not to fvck as many chicks as possible. I know that's what a lot of dudes are trying to do and hey more power to you if you are one of those dudes. Personally, I just want a girl to myself so I can concentrate on things that I truly enjoy (like golf, computers, going to the gym, baseball, writing, cars, hanging out with my boys). This means that I have to date several girls simultaneously in order to see what's really out there on the market.

I'm on Anthony Ellis' Gaining Mass program. Before I bought this program, I had never lifted a single weight at a gym before (no hyperbole). Now I go to the gym three times a week and my diet is fantastic. I was 6', 210 lbs. Now I'm 6' 1" (not sure how that happened) 180 lbs of learn muscle. Now I get hit on when I go to the mall. I'm constantly catching girls checking me out. Hands off the merch girls! (Okay so I still use a David D line once in a while). All girls have to play by my rules now, thanks to Anti-Dump. He (and Pook) gave me a framework in which to operate. The Machine to the One. Its funny that while I never met or said a single word to either Pook or Anti-Dump they both helped me so tremendously that I feel like I know these guys. Pook does not post here anymore but if you are Pook and you happen to read this, thanks bro-- send me a PM so I can thank you personally for all of the posts you've written.

This post is getting long. Let me wrap it up by saying although Pook & Anti-Dump are gone there are still a lot of quality posters active on the board. Check Shezz, Krassus, A-Unit, Rollo Tomassi, STR8UP, E!RC L!VE, and many others.

Thanks for reading.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Sounds like you have really turned things around. I also started out in a simular position to you. I was also shy (and chubby) when ever i was out with freinds (that rare occasion) if we where with some girls, by the end of the day the girls would not pay any attention to me.

It took me time to be able to talk to girls well.

I am a slow learner (thou this does not mean im dumb, im going to 1 of the top universities in the country in september) i dont pick things up well first time round. When i first started gameing girls, i was being clingy and drove girls away.

With every new attempt i get slightly better.

I will confess, my first time making out with a girl was this year.

I have now gone as far as fingering a girl.

These last few weeks i have started to get the hang of how to make a girl chase me, something that i had bairly considered doing, yet only now i recognise its importance.

My progress is slow, but the path ahead looks promosing as my understand and results keep improving

 

[young_gun]

This is awesome. David D. does put out some great stuff though. I'm a subscriber to his monthly interview series and would strongly suggest it.

 

[AlphaChump]

Well done. I'm in the first part of the journey myself, Though I've only been at it for a few months, I'm already totally different than when I started. (No more cigarettes or weed, working out, normal sleep schedule, doing good in school, etc etc)

I'm still lacking confidence when it comes to cold approaches. It's not that I don't try, it's that I'm getting sick of failing so often. And if not failing, I hate being in akward situations.

But I digress, at what point did you really start to note progress? Was it when you got results from working out? I feel like that would help me out a lot and judging by your post, it didn't hurt you.

 

[The-Sultan]

Wow. That was a good post. Very good success story.

It has inspired me, i have 2 weeks of holidays and after reading that, im going to sarge everyday in the mall. Ive started to work out aswell, makes me feel great, i have also been getting IOIs from girls. My confidence level has SHOT UP.

Thanks for the inspiring post.

 

[brosnake]

But I digress, at what point did you really start to note progress? Was it when you got results from working out? I feel like that would help me out a lot and judging by your post, it didn't hurt you.

Hey dude, thanks.

Working out help for sure. Not because I look all ripped (I really don't) but that inner confidence that comes along with working out. It builds deciplline and character and all of that intangible sh1t that is 100x more important than "Who lies more?" or "Alpha BL."

I know what it feels like when all it seems like is crash&burn and failure. Trust me homie, I've been there.

Remember this, failure is the best thing that can happen to you now. Learn from every failure (its not failure its just experience by the way) and move on. If your success rate isn't acceptable to you, just approach more women. You will get better, I promise. You say you lack the confidence to do cold approaches sometimes. Cold approaching isn't the excess of confidence but the complete LACK of Fear. Do it anyway, break your boundries, tell Fear to shove it. Personally I love awkward situations and social pressure now. Its the feeling that let's you know you're alive. Be stronger than the pressure and keep your composure, remember none of it is actually real. You can't TOUCH the tension, its all created in your head.

Hope that was clear, if not send a PM.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

lol, that first paragraph was fvcknig funny, the lesbian and the dude running track had me laughing

Congrats on your newfound confidence and persistence. I think the reason you werent working during using ASF is because you didnt change gears when the girls went for rapport, or you werent congruent (like you said) during your openers and so they bailed. If you went back you coul probably make that, along with any other material work. COngrats

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

Although I like your post, it's not really helpful in that you never really explain any actual examples of what you do differently now.
You gave approach examples for what you said to girls after you learned Deangelos stuff, and then examples of what you did after ASF, but then none after you learned from Sosuave.