What the hell is wrong with me?

[4afe]

I would like to start off by informing every one that I have read the DJ bible the entire thing (yeah it was long but informative). But my problem resides in myself. no matter what I do I can not approch a woman, I dont know what the hell is wrong with me. I have no problem makeing small talk with some dude, but when it comes to women, any woman at that I choke. I reread sections of the DJ bible to get pumped before I go out.

I sit in front of my computer talking a big game but when I am out there I dont do Sh1t. I will say to myself "wow, this is easyer than I thought" but when I go out and about, I always back down. I dont know why I do it, and it doesnt matter if it is a 200lb ugly girl I still choke. I think it is a lack of confidence but, I am cool holding convs with guys. So what the hell?

I was wondering if any of you have been in this situation, and how did you over come it?


Ryan

 

[pdw]

Ryan, you just have to grab yourself by the balls and do it. After you do approach a few times you will get used to it and wonder why you were ever scared. Its good you are reading the DJ bible but in the end it comes down to your own actions. No amount of reading or posting will solve your problem. Just do it. Good luck and remember to have fun!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

When you leave your house put a blind-fold over your eyes so that you don't know if you are talking to a dude or a girl, lay down your best rap and only when you get the number close do you take the blind-fold off! Be careful some faggot homosexuals may be too willing too please you!!!

 

[OddTech]

Baby steps man, try searching for the DJ bootcamp. Start small and gradually build up. Everyone wants results yesterday.

 

[brewbaron]

your problem is the narrow angle "F" economy head on your engine block. the shape of it produces great low rpm torque, but you're not gonna get good gains from bolt-ons or make decent power at high rpm. look into swapping a "G" racing head on your 4AFE or drop a 4AGZE or 4AGE 20v in there. as for your issues with women; I have no relevant advice, but you can take that engine advice to the bank

 

[MackJr]

In your mind you're putting the woman on a pedestal. you have to think, "here's yet another stupid chick who's probably full of herself or alternately insecure" which = 95% of the women out there. Once you're not intimidated by them, the conversation will go better.

 

[Nutmeg]

Relax Ryan, you are not the first guy to sit in front of his computer talking 'big game' and chicken out IRL. I'd be willing to put money that at least half the so-called DJ's here are in the same boat - you are at least willing to admit it.

The harsh fact is that it wont get any easier. speaking to the opposite sex is scary and hard and will continue to be like that. The beauty of it is it's like public speaking; you don't 'overcome' your fears, you learn to use the adrenaline rush to your advantage.

Don't allow unrealistic expectations of your conversational skills to get you flustered, (70% of communications is in body language - kino - anyway), if you can't think of anything to say, don't say anything, let her do the talking, or just allow a pause in the conversation.

 

[Nutmeg]

weeee! that was my first post since I got back!

 

[4afe]

I would like to say I did gain great confidence. Before I would open my mouth and a single word would come out, but my face would be bright red. Like today I made a complete ass out of myself but I didnt care. Before I would bend over backwords for some beautiful girl but now I no longer do any bending. Today thig girl was like "i dont really want to write on the board" and then I was like "well im not so, either you write on the board or it doesnt happen at all". To most of you this may not sound that great but to me it was a liberation experince.


Ryan

 

[Canadianpimpology]

Hey Ryan, glad to see you made the transition. It's my Aaron (Canadianpimpolo). You liking the site ok (for the confused, I told him about this site)?

I'm glad things are improving slowly. For someone who has been shy like you all their life, a change doesn't happen over night...it's a process. And to complete the process you're going to have to be willing to go through with this...but I've talked to you a little in private and I think you'll be fine. I suggest that you start with the boot camp if you want FAST results. It's a little time consuming, but it's a great way to get started and can cure anyone's shyness. Well, good luck.

 

[EFFORT]

Hey Champ!!

Nothing is wrong with you....about 95% of the guys i know wouldn't walk up to a chick and start talking!

Now this is a fustrating problem and i was seriously in the same place you were about a month ago...i couldn't even hold eye contact with a chick or even utter the word simple word hi!

reading that bible is great but see thats a lot of material going in your head at once and it shouldn't be happening like that (the slower the better)

Ok so the solution (trust me on this).....it's been said a lot of this thread already but do BOOTCAMP!!!!

I'm no senior dj or master....probably a ways away from being a DJ as well....but in a months time i've gotten over the fear of approaching chick roadblock because of bootcamp. Even after doing convos with just random people when the time came to approach a chick i was NERVOUS AS HELL....i was shaking...stuttered and even was sweating....but i did it!!

then the next one was easier and i kept doing it everyday until it became a normal thing

i still have a long way to go but i've come a long way and you can too man trust me.

Read this

Stay in touch!! i wanna hear your progress

 

[xelent]

If all else fails ......JUST SMILE!!!

Listen I really feel for you, I think we can agree that we have all been there before.

I dont know anything about your life, but one thing I am picking up is that you are concentrating far too much on technique.

Concentrate on your personal life first, find hobbies or interests that make you creative. I know this is easier said than done, but women truly appreciate a doer, they will quickly discover the bar room charmer, occassionally they will go with them but they quickly discover that you have nothing else in your life to offer them.

Really concentrate on those interests as pimary concerns in your life and forget about women for a while

You will gain more confidence as you start to appreciate the world around you more.

Also check out small intros to gaining confidence with people, like smiling at colleagues at work without necessarily conversing with them. Then begin chatting to them maybe. Also expand the smiling to women on the street that you pass by. Remember you dont have to chat to them at first

Hope this helps and remeber your not a failure you're just experiencing difficulties

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Ryan - you are just shy and may be a little introverted when it comes to relating to the opposite sex on an one on one basis -- thats ok - this is your natural disposition and there is nothing wrong with you. Why not get together with friends in a group convo and gradually start talking to women in a group and then having a private convo with one of them on the side. In groups, the center of attention is not you plus you have others responsible for convo and not solely you. Try it!

p.s. I didn't mean to make light of your personal situation in my first post - I was just having some fun to lighten you up.

 

[Canadianpimpology]

One more thing I want to add. You seem to lack some confidence about your appearance in reading some of your other posts. Work out! It's never to late to start. Once I started working out, my confidence increased tremendously. I don't have the super bod that I want eventually, but it's definitely getting there. The fat is mostly off.

I took a beating in elementary and junior high. Nobody liked me, a girl that I liked told me I was one of the ugliest guys she knows (how about that for a self-esteem damager), I'd been rejected about 15/15 times. The one girl that I dated was cheating on me the whole time and played me like a sucka. She had my # but I didn't have hers so she basically had all the power in it.

So physically, working out even got my very bad case of low physical self-esteem very high. And it's obvious there's improvements. Dozens of girls have stared at me, and it's not rare at all when a girl tells me that I'm hot. My physical confidence is very high. I think physical confidence is always a good place to start, since the bootcamp will definitely take care of the mental confidence.

 

[4afe]

Thanks, Yeah I have started doing the bootcamp week one, I have been working hard at it, I also frequently read some of my favorite DJ BIBLE posts. I have got the eye contact thing DOWN! It is weird how many women actually look at me, it is a lot more than I thougt, but now that I walk with my head high and my eyes no longer at the ground I have really noticed how many women actaully look at me.

The first day I had to go into the restroom and look to see if I had something on my face or in my hair, but it turned out they where just looking at me. (long stroy short, I didnt have a booger on my face) lol.

Today was good, not great but good. I noticed this chick in class was looking at me for a long ass time so I made eye contact and gave her a friendly smile, with a nice hello. I thought to my self "wow did I just say hello to complete stranger"(i dont know if I sould use quotes around thoughts, but i did any ways). Damn that girl that was looking at me was a slut, after that this asain guy was talking to her and like half a hour later their lips where locked.

Thats how my day went and I still have tonight, FRIDAY NIGHT!!! and Saturday too.