What The Hell Is Going On With Bumble Matches?

[BillyPilgrim]

I agree. I like to compare OLD with alcohol. Some people handle it perfectly well, other cant have a single drop. If you are at a place of great mental health and peace with oneself, it might work in the long run.

Otherwise OLD becomes an additional addiction that enforces pron and the neediness for p00sy in general. And that's when trouble starts: being horny and desperate WILL make a man swipe right on everything. Also the infamous " 3 likes" that are waiting for you trigger scarcity and make you again swipe right on everything, kill you ELO and eventually after weeks you'll be like F it I just want my D wet and you're in a power struggle with an hb5 . No thanks.

So imo OLD becomes a rather philosophical thing; it will reflect your own idea of yourself in this world. E.g ; if a man has the ability to:
- only ever swipes right on women he LIKES(not lusts over but actually likes)
-has patient and isn't desperate
- is somewhat realistic about the range of his own smv( e.g hb6,5 - hb8 rather than chasing after hb7,5 -hb9)
- wants to "just date and have fun".

It might work. But never from a place of desperation fed by a porn addiction and the desperate need for female validation.

Always swipe left on the biatches, always. The dudes who swipe right on an attractive girl with a resting b1tch face is as big of a problem as the dudes who swipe right on the fatties. I swipe right on like 20% of them lol. But then again I know what I like, can tell which ones aren't complete headaches, and which girls are likely to vibe with me. You've got to be intelligently selective.

 

[SW15]

In terms of access to hundreds of women while exerting very little effort/energy...then obviously, OLD gets the edge.

But, if you like your women up close & personal and you like going out and getting it...then CA has the edge.

It is preference, no doubt.

The mere adrenaline rush that comes with CA is something OLD can't come close to, IMHO.

In general, approaching strangers has the edge. I agree on the adrenaline rush because I have experienced it. The feeling you get when you approach and arrange a date + collect a number is exhilarating. I have experienced it many times.

There's even an adrenaline rush and a feeling of pride after after a decent approach goes nowhere. I can think of one instance where I approached a 23 year old fitness class instructor when I was 10+ years older than her and offered her a date. Usually when I go to fitness classes, I approach the other class attendees and escalate from there. That particularly day, there wasn't a viable target among the attendees, I found the instructor attractive, and it's a class I less commonly attend. She claimed to already have been in a relationship but would be open to a friendship, I rejected the notion of friendship because I know my value, and life went on.

The "up close and personal" component of approaching strangers in real life is more likely to lead to better first dates because there's a real life interaction to build upon with the first dates. I think a lot of bad swipe app arranged first dates could have been avoided with some sort of initial approach + a 5-15 minute conversation at most costing $0. The bad swipe app first dates are often 30-60+ minutes and don't end up resulting in sex, either first date sex or later date sex.

In general, I have found that app arranged dates tend to be lower quality dates. These are more likely to be "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions where the man wastes money on the cost of the date. Too many of these "one date, no sex, no second date" type dates and the man will easily waste hundreds to thousands of dollars, not to mention his self-esteem will be damaged.

See, and that's why I can't FUK wit it.

Reminds me of when a friend explained to me why he doesn't eat crab legs.

His reason: Too much work for so little return.

Swipe apps are inefficient for all but the top tier men (typically the top 5-10%), especially in more populated areas with more choices. There's no way around it. The effectiveness isn't great either.

In-person approaching is also inefficient but likely more effective.

It's awful to go through all the swiping and texting to get a couple of "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions.

Approaching is better for most men, even average to above average looking men. I put my photos out on Photofeeler and got 6.8-7.4 ratings when I did it. In terms of looks, I think I'm slightly above average but not in the top tier or 'Chad' category.

unless the man is living the life of a hermit, any time he goes into the public domain (even a stop at the gas station), is an opportunity.

Even if you aren't a guy who goes out to get it (like me), that shouldn't stop you from taking advantage of happenstance situations.

I like happenstance situations. It's possible to approach a woman at a gas station.

Most men don't design their lives well enough to do the "one approach a day" idea promoted by Roosh, so they'll probably need to do dedicated approach sessions. The reason why I have gone to fitness classes at my gym and have also gone to secondary class environments over the years is to get in approaches. I know that if I go to a fitness class on a given day, I'll be able to do at least one approach. I started doing non-bar approaches in the early 2010s after reading Roosh's "Day Bang". I am more well versed in non-bar approaching than most men.

I believe approach burnout is a real consideration. If a man goes and does a 2 hour approach session outdoors and sees very few approach targets/does few approaches and gets no numbers, he will not enjoy himself. Too many of those unenjoyable approach sessions outdoors or with indoor retail game can be bad psychologically for a man.

Is it because he sees very few targets, or is it because he is afraid to approach the targets he sees?

When I wrote what I wrote above, it was with the idea of seeing few targets. Even as an experienced approacher, I have had times when I've done daygame sessions and not seen viable targets. I'm a big believer in venue selection, as I have tended to select venues in areas with a higher concentration of unmarrieds. I know the most common areas to do non-bar approaches in my metro area. There are men who are more aggressive than I am with outdoor and gym approaching with approaching women using earbuds/headphones. I prefer not to approach those women, which is why I generally choose fitness classes over the gym floor for gym approaching. For outdoor approaching, there's not a "fitness class" type alternative.

I have had 2 hour approach sessions outdoors with only 1-3 approaches. Likewise, I've also had indoor retail approach sessions like that too.

There are men that would still be afraid to approach. Approach anxiety is real and is a part of the reason why nightlife venue approaching with alcohol is more common than non-bar approaching.

Too many of those unenjoyable approach sessions outdoors or with indoor retail game can be bad psychologically for a man.

I truly doubt that these unenjoyable sessions are from guys that have put the work in.

I believe what you are describing is based on theory, like yes, if a guy has those experiences it could be bad psychologically for him.

But also in theory, if a guy has a 34% success rate, then it could be good psychologically for him.

When I wrote, I wrote in general theory and wrote based on my own experiences within non-bar approaching.

My approach to date set rate is nowhere near 34%. Mine is closer to the single digits. I think I might be better than most men in terms of my approach to date set rate. Look at @Jesse Pinkman and his approach log thread. His rate isn't 34% based on his approach log.

Jesse Pinkman's approach/field reports thread.

So I thought that since I am going out and approaching so much, why not post a field report thread. Yeah, it is a little over 3 AM and I am posting this but whatever. Hate to post a new thread every time I go out and do approaches so I will just keep bumping this one (until mods make an official...

www.sosuave.net

I guarantee most guys have NEVER cold approached a woman in their lives, so they have no personal, real life data to support their theories..they have approach anxiety and are going off perception which are led by their anxieties.

If they would actually put the work in, they'd be surprised at the results.

I don't think most men have never cold approached. I still think the majority of men have cold approached. Most men who have approached have done so in nightlife venues. I also think that nightlife cold approaching has declined in the past 10 years. The typical guy 15 years ago who would have been a nightlife approacher (basic bro) is now more likely to be an app swiper. Plenty of basic bros also go to college and do some approaching at off campus parties (before turning 21) or at the fraternity parties if they participate in Greek Life. Some men also participate in extracurricular on-campus clubs and approach at those events. However, I admit that the college scene has likely changed a bit since I was an undergrad from 2001-2005.

Observations about college sex life from someone that went to a party school.

I thought I'd share this as someone who went to a party school and was in a fraternity there as well. Not wanting to give too much about myself but I went to UGA and graduated a few years ago. While Athens has its hot girls, I do feel like the quality got worse every year due to the admission...

www.sosuave.net

Non-bar approaching has been a niche activity for many decades. I don't know how much it has fallen off in the last 10-15 years, but I think it has fallen off less than nightlife approaching because most guys weren't doing that style of approaching 10-15 years ago.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The OLD discussion, the gift that keeps on giving.

There must MILES of forum posts about it.

The question is why do YOU care?

site:https://www.sosuave.net/forum/ OLD

6140 posts (give or take).

 

[MatureDJ]

I'm in the UK.. most girls here look like obese dog shyte

This bad?

 

[soulforge]

This bad?

View attachment 10699

View attachment 10700

She's considered hb9 in UK lol

 

[Gamisch]

And OLD is unnatural. Its a way too meet someone but runs against nature imo.

Interesting point. And i personally get that. Yet it might be something that our generation would rather say, also the women but they're getting older too so we dont even chase them anymore. Its about the younger women 20-35 . How they operate.

You could argue that there's now a new generation who grew up with OLD and thus is does becomes ingrained into our "nature ". At least within female nature.

Try having this argument with a woman if you're bored. She'll tell you that ; " it's perfectly normal and understandable and she knows many people who were married due to OLD." And the next woman will tell you its "just to get laid fast".

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

In general, approaching strangers has the edge. I agree on the adrenaline rush because I have experienced it. The feeling you get when you approach and arrange a date + collect a number is exhilarating. I have experienced it many times.

Real recognize real.

There's even an adrenaline rush and a feeling of pride after after a decent approach goes nowhere.

Fa sho.

Even my rejections, mixed emotions.

1. Disappointment.

2. Relief

3. Satisfaction

All in one, with adrenaline.

I can think of one instance where I approached a 23 year old fitness class instructor when I was 10+ years older than her and offered her a date. Usually when I go to fitness classes, I approach the other class attendees and escalate from there. That particularly day, there wasn't a viable target among the attendees, I found the instructor attractive, and it's a class I less commonly attend. She claimed to already have been in a relationship but would be open to a friendship, I rejected the notion of friendship because I know my value, and life went on.

Exactly. And you got closure, which is the most underappreciated aspect of CA.

I like knowing where I stand with every woman I find attractive, which is also why Mode One is so effective, because it forces women to show their hand; where do I stand with you??

I like my rejections just as quick as I'd like my advances to be reciprocated.

The "up close and personal" component of approaching strangers in real life is more likely to lead to better first dates because there's a real life interaction to build upon with the first dates. I think a lot of bad swipe app arranged first dates could have been avoided with some sort of initial approach + a 5-15 minute conversation at most costing $0. The bad swipe app first dates are often 30-60+ minutes and don't end up resulting in sex, either first date sex or later date sex.

Facts.

The effectiveness isn't great either.

In-person approaching is also inefficient but likely more effective.

Depends on how we define "effective".

How would you define it?

It's awful to go through all the swiping and texting to get a couple of "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions.

That is why you should do your damnest to not be in that situation.

Mode One.

Approaching is better for most men, even average to above average looking men. I put my photos out on Photofeeler and got 6.8-7.4 ratings when I did it. In terms of looks, I think I'm slightly above average but not in the top tier or 'Chad' category.

I think I look better in person than I do on pictures.

That is why I don't like taking selfies.

I like happenstance situations. It's possible to approach a woman at a gas station.

Might be one of the best happenstance places to approach.

Most men don't design their lives well enough to do the "one approach a day" idea promoted by Roosh, so they'll probably need to do dedicated approach sessions.

As long as they got the balls to do it, either way.

The reason why I have gone to fitness classes at my gym and have also gone to secondary class environments over the years is to get in approaches. I know that if I go to a fitness class on a given day, I'll be able to do at least one approach.

Which is exactly how I feel about Walmart.

I started doing non-bar approaches in the early 2010s after reading Roosh's "Day Bang". I am more well versed in non-bar approaching than most men.

Me as well.

When I wrote what I wrote above, it was with the idea of seeing few targets. Even as an experienced approacher, I have had times when I've done daygame sessions and not seen viable targets.

Based on what I know from you, you have in my opinion, high standards lol...which is why it is no surprise as to why you don't find what you seek on a typical daygame session.

Although on the other hand, my standards may seem low (to you).

Because for me, very rare do I go out and not find viable targets.

Very rare.

I'm a big believer in venue selection, as I have tended to select venues in areas with a higher concentration of unmarrieds. I know the most common areas to do non-bar approaches in my metro area. There are men who are more aggressive than I am with outdoor and gym approaching with approaching women using earbuds/headphones. I prefer not to approach those women, which is why I generally choose fitness classes over the gym floor for gym approaching. For outdoor approaching, there's not a "fitness class" type alternative.

Generally speaking, the earbuds/headphones thing can be a deterrent.

But then again, if you signal to a woman with earbuds and successfully get her attention, and she finds you attractive..she will be more than willing to take one earbud out to see what you have to say.

That is how it works with men (on the flip side), and I see no reason why the same won't hold true for women.

Now, fitness classes are cool but seems too limited in options.

For example, I like busty women..and if I attend a fitness class, I doubt I will have many busty options available to me...and since it is a numbers game anyway, more options are needed.

I have had 2 hour approach sessions outdoors with only 1-3 approaches. Likewise, I've also had indoor retail approach sessions like that too.

Yeah, but you are out there looking for needles in haystacks lol.

So it will take a while.

There are men that would still be afraid to approach. Approach anxiety is real and is a part of the reason why nightlife venue approaching with alcohol is more common than non-bar approaching.

Facts.

When I wrote, I wrote in general theory and wrote based on my own experiences within non-bar approaching.

My approach to date set rate is nowhere near 34%. Mine is closer to the single digits. I think I might be better than most men in terms of my approach to date set rate.

When I began my CA journey, my aim was to have a 30% or better success rate, from approach to physical close.

Life & dating coach The Saint and the Sinner (Marquette Burton) suggested that figure on one of his vids.

30% is 3/10, which I viewed as an obtainable goal and said to myself..

"50% and above seems unrealisticly high...while 20% and below seems shamefully low....but 30% seems justttt righttt".



There are two categories..

1. Numbers close (I got the number and we had a meaningful conversation afterwards).

2. Physical contact close (after meaningful conversation, we had intimate physical contact).

I achieved just over 30% in both categories, and when I calculate the average of both categories, I get 34% (from number to physical close).

It is difficult for me to not see myself being able to bag 3/10 women I approach.

Or 1/3.

My next CA journey, I am aiming for 40% or better.

If yours is in single digits, that is less than 1/10.

We can discuss tips to get your percentage higher, if you like.

Look at @Jesse Pinkman and his approach log thread. His rate isn't 34% based on his approach log.

Jesse Pinkman's approach/field reports thread.

So I thought that since I am going out and approaching so much, why not post a field report thread. Yeah, it is a little over 3 AM and I am posting this but whatever. Hate to post a new thread every time I go out and do approaches so I will just keep bumping this one (until mods make an official...

www.sosuave.net

I will definitely check that out.

I don't think most men have never cold approached. I still think the majority of men have cold approached.

I respectfully disagree.

That is how wimpy I think the average guy is.

Non-bar approaching has been a niche activity for many decades. I don't know how much it has fallen off in the last 10-15 years, but I think it has fallen off less than nightlife approaching because most guys weren't doing that style of approaching 10-15 years ago.

Team daygame!!

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Venom do you dress up when you go to Walmart? Like in business casual or nightlife attire

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Venom do you dress up when you go to Walmart? Like in business casual or nightlife attire

Not at all. Very casual. Gym shorts with t shirt.

Simple.

Walmart sells those plain t shirts (different colors) for like $6.

I have numerous colors of those shirts along with numerous black shorts (black matches everything).

Just throw on a shirt with some shorts and get at it.

 

[SW15]

I don't think most men have never cold approached. I still think the majority of men have cold approached. Most men who have approached have done so in nightlife venues. I also think that nightlife cold approaching has declined in the past 10 years. The typical guy 15 years ago who would have been a nightlife approacher (basic bro) is now more likely to be an app swiper.

I respectfully disagree.

That is how wimpy I think the average guy is.

Team daygame!!

Non-bar approaches when sober are some of the toughest approaches to do. Few men have the courage to lay it on the line and do what we do when we non-bar approach.

I like busty women..and if I attend a fitness class, I doubt I will have many busty options available to me...and since it is a numbers game anyway, more options are needed.

This is mostly true. At some fitness classes, you might get a busty woman with a thin/fit body and big breast implants. In a typical fitness class, that's your best option for a busty woman. That woman I just described isn't in group fitness classes all too much. Over the years, I've not seen many women with obvious breast implants in group fitness classes. A man is far more likely to find a fit woman with breast implants in a mall, grocery store, or liquor store.