What the flip does this mean?

[blueline]

History: We went on 3 dates and banged on the last date. We haven't been able to hang out for the last week for whatever reasons.

I text her this message a few minutes ago:

me: BTW, it's okay if you just wanted a hookup and dont wanna pursue this further, too. I'm pretty chill about these things. I don't like to see people feel guilty, y'know?
Her: I totally get that. I feel the same way, so right back you. I was actually hoping to slow things down, cuz I kind of like you.

When girls say "let's slow things down", they mean the new guy is just around corner. However, when they say "I kind of like you", it's a coy way of saying they are totally into you.

I've dumped her regardless and I think I did the right thing. What do you think? BTW, we are both 25 and in graduate school, so we're too old for this kind of bull**** language.

 

[Ease]

I've dumped her regardless and I think I did the right thing. What do you think? BTW, we are both 25 and in graduate school, so we're too old for this kind of bull**** language.

You dumped her because she said she liked you?

Girls hold out on guys when they want a relationship also. Back to basics for you buddy...

 

[blueline]

You dumped her because she said she liked you?

Girls hold out on guys when they want a relationship also. Back to basics for you buddy...

No, I dumped her because:

A.) She avoided me for a week.
B.) I can do better, but I do like her personality. There was a great connection.
C.) She put her OKC profile back online after we fucked.

I'm not going to be a ***** and "wait" around for some girl to make up her mind, especially after C.). Why would you hold out on a guy after you **** him. You've ended the game.

I asked her to clarify:

Me: what do you mean? are you trying to say you like me as a friend and would rather not lose that? i'm not used to your type (not a bad thing).
Her: um no not really. it's hard to explain ;P
Me: Well, make up your mind. I can find another lover easily. I don't like to be put on hold while you look around for something better.
Her: Right. Well, I'm not looking for a fling, but I'm picky about relationships, so I guess I'd hoped to get to know you better before deciding what this was. I'm sorry I haven't been more available. I wasn't purposefully avoiding you. If you're looking for something entirely casual, I'm probably not your girl.
Me: I'm not looking something entirely casual. And for the record, I kinda like you, too.
Her: Well, you don't need to feel obligated, either way. I never said you couldn't date around. However, if you want something solely casual, like I said, no harsh feelings.
Me: Cool, I guess that's that, then. Unlike you, when I like someone, I do not put them on hold. I'm going to do my thing and wish you the best of luck in your search

****ing novice does not understand that when she lets someone like me date around, it's more like sleeping around, ahahaha.

 

[blueline]

I mean, this is really unfortunate because unlike the hot sluts I usually hook up with, this was the kind of girl I could have fallen hard for despite her appearance. I've never held off until the third date before and I've been with several other girls.

She just seemed to have these damn unreasonable standards and only dates guys before she sleeps with them. I've been told "let's slow down" before by other women in the past and it was always bad news. That combined with her putting her OKC profile back up after we hooked up made me decide against this.

As far as looks went, she was getting a hell of a deal. We had a great connection, too.

 

[DannyM]

If she was getting "a hell of a deal" why are you posting this on here? She sounds like a waste of your time to me! just pursue others and you will soon find you forget about her fast.

 

[jmeh13]

First off: why would you text that to her. Just let things play out and let her come to you. Don't ever tell a girl your intentions. Keep them wondering the mystery behind you.

Second off: Girls who say they want to slow down aren't attracted to you. So you need to switch things up.

 

[blueline]

First off: why would you text that to her. Just let things play out and let her come to you. Don't ever tell a girl your intentions. Keep them wondering the mystery behind you.

Second off: Girls who say they want to slow down aren't attracted to you. So you need to switch things up.

Yeah, that's why I told her to fuck off. I've been in love before and it doesn't really require games. The girl just keeps coming back to the nest for more.

I've always thought the ultimate game is being able to leave. In that case, less information is better. That's where I ****ed up.

Oh well, maybe next time I'll have a cute AND intelligent girl do this, and then I'll know what to do.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I asked her to clarify:

Me: what do you mean? are you trying to say you like me as a friend and would rather not lose that? i'm not used to your type (not a bad thing).
Her: um no not really. it's hard to explain ;P
Me: Well, make up your mind. I can find another lover easily. I don't like to be put on hold while you look around for something better.
Her: Right. Well, I'm not looking for a fling, but I'm picky about relationships, so I guess I'd hoped to get to know you better before deciding what this was. I'm sorry I haven't been more available. I wasn't purposefully avoiding you. If you're looking for something entirely casual, I'm probably not your girl.
Me: I'm not looking something entirely casual. And for the record, I kinda like you, too.
Her: Well, you don't need to feel obligated, either way. I never said you couldn't date around. However, if you want something solely casual, like I said, no harsh feelings.
Me: Cool, I guess that's that, then. Unlike you, when I like someone, I do not put them on hold. I'm going to do my thing and wish you the best of luck in your search

****ing novice does not understand that when she lets someone like me date around, it's more like sleeping around, ahahaha.

Cringe city.

NEVER have a conversation like this with a girl in the early stages of a relationship- especially over text. What you are doing is playing the woman's role by essentially asking, "where is this going?" I know you didn't say those words, but the underlying meaning was that you want to know where you stand.

If you played it cool, she surely would've come calling again. Instead, you came off as very insecure by qualifying yourself to her ("i can find another lover easily") and forcing her to tell you exactly how she felt. Only clingy girls and AFCs do that stuff.

It's probably too late to salvage this one, but in the future, let HER bring up the "where is this going?" conversation, and spin plates until that point.

 

[blueline]

Next time...

Good thing we have zero mutual friends.

It's funny. Before this, I always thought it was looks that decided who had the upper hand in a relationship. I've been better looking than the girl a couple times now, and indeed, I had the upper hand all the way until the end.

This chick was a couple points below me. Not fat, but somewhat plain and had a bit of a receded chin. Totally brilliant, though. She played a hell of a lot of games.

Mostly, I hate being strung along by a girl. Fuck that. I've fucked girls and had them totally in love with me in a few days, that's how it should be.

 

[f283000]

Cringe city.

NEVER have a conversation like this with a girl in the early stages of a relationship- especially over text. What you are doing is playing the woman's role by essentially asking, "where is this going?" I know you didn't say those words, but the underlying meaning was that you want to know where you stand.

If you played it cool, she surely would've come calling again. Instead, you came off as very insecure by qualifying yourself to her ("i can find another lover easily") and forcing her to tell you exactly how she felt. Only clingy girls and AFCs do that stuff. You don't try to explain it to her after what happened or make her feel guilty or slutty. It just happened that's it.

It's probably too late to salvage this one, but in the future, let HER bring up the "where is this going?" conversation, and spin plates until that point.

This!

BTW why did you try to un-intentionally raise her anti-slut defense? You never make a woman feel like a slut. This could have backfired even more.

You never try to rationalize logically a woman's sluttyness because the moment she becomes self conscious of her sluttyness her anti-slut defense will go up. Your job is to get her hot and take advantage when she is lost in her lust.

I know you had good intentions and tried to logically rationalize the hook up to her but remember you don't use logic and reason with a woman they are emotional creatures.

 

[blueline]

Yeah, I think I really put my foot in my mouth with this one. She was coyly telling me she has a big crush on me.

Basically, after this, I went on to tell the girl that we were incompatible anyways and she'd eventually come to dislike me because of my history of experimenting with hard drugs, casual sex, and clinical depression. Furthermore, she's too innocent for me.

OOPS. I always ****ing self-destruct when I'm having a conflict with a girl.

 

[DonGorgon]

she is a 1 F ho that you should never have taken on 3 dates...

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Yeah, I think I really put my foot in my mouth with this one. She was coyly telling me she has a big crush on me.

Basically, after this, I went on to tell the girl that we were incompatible anyways and she'd eventually come to dislike me because of my history of experimenting with hard drugs, casual sex, and clinical depression. Furthermore, she's too innocent for me.

OOPS. I always ****ing self-destruct when I'm having a conflict with a girl.

Lol man, this was a good post right here.

Look **** fvcking happens -- I think she honestly liked you -- even despite you going off about how you could get another lover easily -- in the dialogue it seems to me she was really saying, "if we're going to fvck, lets be bf/gf because I'm not into fvck-buddies"...and if you really liked her you could explore that for a relationship but it sounds like you don't want that...sounds like you're confident enough man, you'll find another. Funny post to read, life will move on!

 

[blueline]

Yeah dude, I think she was saying that, too LOL.

A week ago, she texted me sort of out of the blue saying "you know, i didn't mean to ignore you. i just have a really busy schedule."

Then I just turbo self-destruct on her and tell her she makes me feel uncomfortable because I like her too much. I also go on to tell her she's from a different socioeconomic class than me and that she can do better.

However, with all that said, I then told her she could get dinner on me sometime to which she responded "Aw that's really sweet. I'll have to let you know."

I didn't respond to that **** and it's been radio silence for a week.

I don't know, man. She's ****ing butt ugly: http://i.imgur.com/3UU6F.jpg. I could post pictures of my ex-girlfriends on here and go on a bragging spree, but let's just say they are all at least 6's and 7's whereas she is like a 4. Her body isn't bad at all, but her face is just gross (almost recessed chin, fat cheeks, and gross nose).

Regardless, I am still hurt by this because I had a great connection with this girl, was starting to fall for her, and thought I could get away with anything because of how much better looking than her I am. I really, really doubt I could've been faithful with her more than a few months, though. I enjoyed fucking her and would love to do it again, but she's the kind of girl you don't want your friends to see you with because she's really not pretty.