Originally posted by Howie Farkes
I think I get it.
You basically wanted to be able to put this girl on ice while you play the field a bit then when you're done playin' you come back to her in your shiny armour and make some sort of commitment?
I agree, this is basically what you have been doing. It's just being plain selfish. She was there for you and totally wanted the best for the both of you by being in a relationship, but you totally put her on the backburner, as if she was your insurance policy. You went ahead and messed around with whomever came around, and possibly would get serious with one should they be great. But if nobody ever would live up to being better than her? Then you would have her as your fall-back plan and you would settle with her and claim your little insurance policy of forever being happy.
DavenJuan, I ain't trying to knock on you or anything, but I'm just telling you how it is. In fact, I'm interested in hearing more of your point of view because I know girls can get this way too, and I want to be more aware of it so we can all avoid it.
Quite honestly, if she knows what's right for her, she won't return back to you. Maybe as a friend, but a platonic one even as that. Since she doesn't want to see you anymore, its concrete evidence that she is taking this new guy very seriously. I mean, she wouldn't want to jeopardize the new relationship by being tempted to be in a
friends with benefits relationship with you again. Plus she is showing utmost respect to her new guy by completely being true to him and leaving her baggage (you) stranded at baggage claim.
It's not to say that if it doesn't work out with them, that she won't come back to you. Who knows? Maybe she might if it doesn't. But chances are if their relationship is healthy, don't hold your breath then. At this point, it's going to be very very difficult to go back and kiss her *ss. I've been in such a similar situation of trying to step in and intercede from my ex from falling for a new guy. However your situation is passe. Being that you already allowed her to fall for him and be into him to the point of loyalty to block even you out of her life. If you would've found out she had just begun to talk to him (not even date), you could've had a good chance of breaking it down to her that you mean business now, and that you will be the one that lives up to her expectations of a boyfriend. Even though she told you two weeks ago that she wants to stop talking to you, I bet that she's been talking to the new dude for a while and that she's even been intimate with him already.
Your best bet is to re-assess what you did wrong. Learn from it, and deal with it in a better manner the next time it comes around. Don't get me wrong, you will have a better chick come around next time. The thing is, will you be unselfish and more matured enough to appreciate
her the next time your opportunity knocks?
That's all on you.
Do you honestly regret losing her? Is it authentic? Or is it just in spite because you just feel someone else is "stealing your insurance policy?" Are you just jealous that someone else appreciates her and may truly be happy with her in long-term? Do you feel bad that she could make someone else happy? Or do you still want her as your back-up plan while you still explore what else is out there? Please explain.
