What SoSuave means to me:

[KarmaSutra]

I'll preface with a short story which happened about 45 minutes ago.

I'm standing in line at Publix checking out and there is a fairly attractive 30-ish woman stading two people ahead of me. She's being a complete cvnt to the checkout guy, who can't even make eye contact with her, he's completely submissive and takes every left hook this b!tch throws at him. So she's going on and on about how her day has been hell and how he needs to get her grocies bagged correctly (whatever that means) and that he's a complete incompetent.

"Yes ma'am, No ma'am." Is all he says to her. I was going to step in and say something but I needed this brother to let this sink in deep. She finally leaves and the other woman ahead of me asks him why he takes that kind of abuse?
With doe like eyes he looks at her and says: "That's how I was raised." She said that you don't accept rudeness from anyone, regardless of gender. He pitifully replies back with: "But I don't know any other way to be?" The poor thing shook her head in disbelief and walked away with her groceries.

My turn. I look him square in the eye and ask him when he goes on break. He says in about thirty minutes and why? "Stay here until I get back." I tell him. I go to the customer service counter and ask to speak to the manager. Some dweeb walks up and I tell him that the guy on the express line is my cousin and I need to talk to him about a personal matter right now. He gets a girl to cover him and the guy looks at me all bewildered. I take him outside and offer him a cigar. He's never smoked in his life so I help him get it lit and give him the Karma cigar cliff's notes version.

Boys, this guy had less confidence than the lonliest of AFC's. I ask him about his life and that I help brothers who are in his predicament turn thier lives around. He tells me about his upbringing (he's a whopping 21 years young) and that he's never had a girlfriend or female friends at all. As he spoke all I could hear are excuses and defeatist mentality spewing out of his mouth.

Then I stopped him and told him that today is the first day of the rest of his life. As he needs to get back to work, I give him my phone number and I write down the url for this place, SoSuave. I give him specific brothers' posts to read and process but he is not to become a member yet. His eyes are wide and full of light and promise for the first time, probably in his life.

This is when I realized what a dramatic and lifelong affect this place has become in my life and that sometimes I do take it for granted. I get to spread knowledge and information with other like minded, (mostly) adult brothers and in turn, I have new points of view and perspectives to appreciate. This can do nothing but good to any and all of us.

What I want to know is if any of you have had the opportunity to turn someone on to this place and what experiences and impacts it has had on your life and the lives of those whom you've led here.

 

[KontrollerX]

Man Karma reading that I have to say I love you man and I mean that in the most hetero way imaginable. :crackup:

I have the same high regard and respect for this place as you.

Its helped me save myself and a friend who I showed this place to as well.

Compared to every other forum I've been a part of this place stands above the rest.

The community and sage advice is unparalleled here.

I felt great for that guy that he didn't seem offended at all by your offer of mentoring and advice but rather it looked to me like he experienced the sun shining down on him for the first time in his life as you will expose him to knowledge that will help him remove all the darkness and self defeating mentality that has held him back thus far in his life.

BTW, the speech you gave him reminded me of Fight Club lol.

 

[reset]

That's a great story.

The closest it came was when I was at a party several months ago and there were a bunch of people I didn't know, all in that age group. This one dude was trying to impress this girl who was throwing a bunch of stuff at him about politics, and he was trying to change his stance to get her to approve of him. Yeah, I was a little drunk and maybe out of place but I'm kind of in this group watching and I'm saying stuff like "dude, don't apologize for what you think" and "hey don't be afraid to be sarcastic, it's fun to do" and things like that. He's on the couch with this girl and she's trying to one-up him then he looks at me and I give my commentary. It was goofy but still fun.

About an hour later I was outside and this same dude was looking for me, he comes up to me and says he's splitting and shakes my hand and says he hoped to see me at the next party.

I could tell I showed him a new way to interact and he was excited to be shown a different perspective.

So great job Karma.

edit--dammit Karma! This is the type of post that makes me feel on top of the world. You've helped to show me a vision for the type of man I could be. We don't just grow for ourselves but to actually contribute to society by being real men.

 

[Connect4]

great story..

I haven't gotten the chance to help someone like that so far, hopefully one of these days.


"Compared to every other forum I've been a part of this place stands above the rest.
The community and sage advice is unparalleled here." -KontrollerX

I second that.

 

[Ken785]

I'll preface with a short story which happened about 45 minutes ago.

I'm standing in line at Publix checking out and there is a fairly attractive 30-ish woman stading two people ahead of me. She's being a complete cvnt to the checkout guy, who can't even make eye contact with her, he's completely submissive and takes every left hook this b!tch throws at him. So she's going on and on about how her day has been hell and how he needs to get her grocies bagged correctly (whatever that means) and that he's a complete incompetent.

"Yes ma'am, No ma'am." Is all he says to her. I was going to step in and say something but I needed this brother to let this sink in deep. She finally leaves and the other woman ahead of me asks him why he takes that kind of abuse?
With doe like eyes he looks at her and says: "That's how I was raised." She said that you don't accept rudeness from anyone, regardless of gender. He pitifully replies back with: "But I don't know any other way to be?" The poor thing shook her head in disbelief and walked away with her groceries.

My turn. I look him square in the eye and ask him when he goes on break. He says in about thirty minutes and why? "Stay here until I get back." I tell him. I go to the customer service counter and ask to speak to the manager. Some dweeb walks up and I tell him that the guy on the express line is my cousin and I need to talk to him about a personal matter right now. He gets a girl to cover him and the guy looks at me all bewildered. I take him outside and offer him a cigar. He's never smoked in his life so I help him get it lit and give him the Karma cigar cliff's notes version.

Boys, this guy had less confidence than the lonliest of AFC's. I ask him about his life and that I help brothers who are in his predicament turn thier lives around. He tells me about his upbringing (he's a whopping 21 years young) and that he's never had a girlfriend or female friends at all. As he spoke all I could hear are excuses and defeatist mentality spewing out of his mouth.

Then I stopped him and told him that today is the first day of the rest of his life. As he needs to get back to work, I give him my phone number and I write down the url for this place, SoSuave. I give him specific brothers' posts to read and process but he is not to become a member yet. His eyes are wide and full of light and promise for the first time, probably in his life.

This is when I realized what a dramatic and lifelong affect this place has become in my life and that sometimes I do take it for granted. I get to spread knowledge and information with other like minded, (mostly) adult brothers and in turn, I have new points of view and perspectives to appreciate. This can do nothing but good to any and all of us.

What I want to know is if any of you have had the opportunity to turn someone on to this place and what experiences and impacts it has had on your life and the lives of those whom you've led here.

Karma...I have huge respect for you...i am like the guy you just described. i just don't understand why people would do that to such kind people. Seems people in this world don't respect nice people...im now trying to change my ways...though it is hard not having mentors physically be here to guide me...im glad i at least found sosuave...its been a big part of my life. yes, a website. im so glad i landed on it.

 

[aliasguy]

WTG, Karma. Nice work.

(BTW, could you imagine a woman doing something like that for another chick?)

You are a GOOD MAN.


My only event which comes close was one night at a bar when I was with some sales buddies (I'm NOT in sales, but you know how THOSE guys are!!!), and we were ON. We had a little flock of hotties going on. This guy comes up to me as I went for some drinks, and says, "How do you guys DO that? How do you get those girls?" He was tall, and ok-looking, but didn't have a clue.

I didn't do as good a job as Karma --- I just said --"Get on the internet and start reading." I guess he was smart enough to get it, and sift through it all, because the next time I saw him (at a different establishment) , he made a point of coming over and thanking me. Guess things got better for him.


Isn't this kind of thing so nice to see? It's so cool to see someone lost and confused, and then they turn it around.

Knowledge is priceless.

 

[MooseGod]

Karma, you are the best kind of humanitarian I've encountered on the 'web. Props man. Mad props.

This is life changing-sh!t. I think the problem with most of our troubled brothers is exactly what that checkout guy said... "It's the way I was raised." Sadly a large portion of today's youth is completely mentally screwed because of the lack of a stable, masculine, level-headed father figure. A boy raised by women is going to act like a woman. Just like the 'feral boy' raised by wolves legend...you are a product of your environment.

Have you considered being a Big Brother?

 

[penkitten]

karma, i would pass you a cigar, if i could.

 

[Pimp101]

Props man :rockon: Its inspiring to know that good people exist.

 

[mackdaddy27]

give back to the community by contributing to others posts if sosuave helped you...help someone else

 

[wjh]

Very inspirational... Amazing post Karma.

You truly are a good man.

I like hearing these stories.

 

[WaterTiger]

:woo: Karma!

You are SO my hero!:flowers:


Had I have been with you, I'd have said something like "Maybe your day would go better if you weren't such a fukcing cvnt to people! Stop being such a b!tch to the kid!"

...I'm going to get punched some day....I know it's coming.:trouble:

 

[Lord Shinra]

I met a guy not too long ago in a club. He's 26, I'm 24, so I saw him talking to girls there, supplicating and buying drinks left and right, pretty much going through his cash for no good reason, and nothing to show for it.

I approached him, and asked him how he was doing, since I noticed he was trying to pick up women. He got kind of shy as if no one was supposed to know, so I asked him if he wanted to learn how to do all this.

That was 6 months ago. He went through the bootcamp, and now he's one of my best wingmen and he even pilots once in a while when he sees something he likes.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Have you considered being a Big Brother?

The work I'm doing with the Karmic Structure and Philosophy is mentoring and being a Big Brother.

Listen, I don't want pats on the back or applause, what I want is change. Change in how boy-men view themselves in todays society. Change in the way we herald ourselves as champions of our own destinies. Change in how we tend to turn a blind eye to our brothers and sisters in need of our help.

It comes down to love. I love who I am becoming and I love the feeling of giving back to those who need our help. It's one thing to write some words on a screen and submit reply, it's a completely different animal to reach out to someone in real life and change thier lives.

I am no different than any of you. Not the least bit. I just have a vision and a drive which some are still in search of. It's about taking a chance. If young brother Gabe did not want my help I would have taken solace in the fact that I tried. This is what matters. The effort we invest in ourselves.

 

[redspicyflag]

Actions speak louder than words

Inspiring

 

[SilverSonnet]

Well done man, I tried to help my friend, but he was a **** about it, told me that he would just go with the flow (the AFC flow) and told everyone that I used dating advice, which got me some wierd looks and comments, which I wasn't too pleased about, so I think I'm gonna be abit more careful.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

KARMA, you're a saint. You know this. I should think it's due that every member of SS who's had his eyes opened and truly unplugged from the Matrix look for these opportunities to help those less enlightened. And I truly hope this guy will do as you said and take it upon himself to apply what he learns, assuming he does.

However, I think a certain degree of caution is always warranted in these cases. For every guy who's mind I've changed in the past there are 12 more who're simply unwilling to learn or are so trapped in their ego-investments that they violently oppose anything that conflicts with them. It's good to be bold as you've done, but you can't teach those unwilling to learn. With any luck this guy's not one of those.

 

[Quiksilver]

"When the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear"

I've talked to a few of my friends who were in the same predicament as I was a couple years ago... I told them a couple things and left it at that. If someone is truly ready to accept advice, they will come to you.

I'm an advocate of showing people what is possible, then if they want more I'll help. I'm not one to go out of my way to teach someone who isn't ready to learn.

Well done Karma, I admit I probably wouldn't have done anything in your situation.

 

[Drum&Bass]

However, I think a certain degree of caution is always warranted in these cases. For every guy who's mind I've changed in the past there are 12 more who're simply unwilling to learn or are so trapped in their ego-investments that they violently oppose anything that conflicts with them.

yea, i try talking about not being AFC with people and 1 or 2 things will happen...they either break down in tears and tell me I'm right..while making ZERO to LITTLE attempt to change or we get into a FIST FIGHT..so now..I let people wallow in their misery..I was never an AFC or so pathetic that I endured bad treatment. I can't imagine someone who would constantly put up with that kind of behavior and not snap and have an epiphany.

SS has helped learn about how women think and gave me a little push in having unwaivering confidence in my actions..but these are things I would have figured out on my own anyways..

so if someone doesn't have the ability to do it for themselves..to bad for them..

 

[ExcelNPrevail]

Dam...Karma. Thats some powerfull stuff right there. Amazing story, just goes to show you that there are many men out there wanting to see the "light," and you have lit it up for him.

P.S Has he signed on yet? Or replied you back?