What should my next move be with this girl?

[superstorm250]

Hey guys, so there's a girl who I worked with during my seasonal job at the county fair and I'm pretty sure she likes me, but I still don't know for sure and I do like her. Well now our work season has ended and we aren't around each other at all anymore and we haven't talked since our last day, which was 5 days ago. If she is interested in me, I don't want her to get the impression that I'm not interested and then she moves on by her not hearing from me at all. But I'm unsure what my next move should be, we did talk about everyone from work hanging out together as a group but no plans have been made yet and I feel like I need to reach out to her soon. And to make things more interesting, she has a 17 year old niece, who I know for sure is into me and that makes me pretty uncomfortable and this whole situation more difficult.

If you want more of a backstory to this situation, I can copy it here. I didn't include it because i didn't want this post to run too long.

 

[marmel75]

I mean I hve no idea what this post is about. The next move should have been your first move. Talk to her, let her know you think she is cool and you'd like to hang out with her sometime outside of work, and tell her to give you her number.

It's simple and straightforward. No tricks, no gimmicks, just act like a man and get what you want.

 

[superstorm250]

I mean I hve no idea what this post is about. The next move should have been your first move. Talk to her, let her know you think she is cool and you'd like to hang out with her sometime outside of work, and tell her to give you her number.

It's simple and straightforward. No tricks, no gimmicks, just act like a man and get what you want.

Sorry for the confusion, I can try to clarify a little bit more. I already have her number and I've already added her on social media as well, but we were working together at a temporary seasonal job, and now that job has ended and we don't work together anymore. We also haven't talked to each other at all since our last day of work, which was 5 days ago. And I feel like I need to reach out to her soon, otherwise she might get the impression that I'm not interested in her and move on, I just don't know how I should reach out to her (obviously its gonna be via text) and have it come off in a positive way instead of weird/random. And as for the situation with her niece, I know for sure that she does like me and that makes me feel uncomfortable because she's only 17 and she also lives with the girl that I like so that makes this situation even more difficult.

 

[bigneil]

If she liked you, you would have known on the first day of work. She would already be texting you. She probably had sex with 2 guys you worked with, and 4 guys total since you met.

Why are you acting like a girl and asking us what to do? Why didn't you man up, risk rejection and tell her you liked her? (Hint: She already knew).

 

[superstorm250]

If she liked you, you would have known on the first day of work. She would already be texting you. She probably had sex with 2 guys you worked with, and 4 guys total since you met.

Why are you acting like a girl and asking us what to do? Why didn't you man up, risk rejection and tell her you liked her? (Hint: She already knew).

Ok first of all, you don't know anything about this situation because I didn't want to make the first post of this thread too long. Second, I was the only guy she worked with on our shift most of the time and there was only one other guy in our age group at work and she barely saw him and didn't really know him. Third, she is extremely shy so she's not the type of person to text a guy first and that's why she's not texting me. The only part of your reply that has anything useful in it is the last part, I should've told her how I feel before our last day of work together but I thought it was too soon. Now its harder because I have to plan something, otherwise we aren't going to talk to or see each other again. That's why I need help, because I ****ed up and made things harder for myself.

 

[bigneil]

Ok first of all, you don't know anything about this situation because I didn't want to make the first post of this thread too long. Second, I was the only guy she worked with on our shift most of the time and there was only one other guy in our age group at work and she barely saw him and didn't really know him. Third, she is extremely shy so she's not the type of person to text a guy first and that's why she's not texting me. The only part of your reply that has anything useful in it is the last part, I should've told her how I feel before our last day of work together but I thought it was too soon. Now its harder because I have to plan something, otherwise we aren't going to talk to or see each other again. That's why I need help, because I ****ed up and made things harder for myself.

I know all I need to know.

When a woman is attracted to you she will let you know. You developed feelings for her but you did not create attraction. I've been there.

Note that I told my last girlfriend I had a crush on her within the first 5 minutes of speaking to her. The previous girl I told her she was beautiful in the first paragraph. 50% of the time I was with either girl in my life, she and I were in bed together. You probably spent hundreds and maybe thousands of hours with this girl and you were the only guy and you didn't tell her you had a crush on her? You have her number but never texted her?

 

[sph21]

Just be a man & ask her out. If she wants to go out with you, it's a clear indication that she's attracted to you. Your next task would be to have a fun date. And if she doesn't want to go out with you, just forget her & ask someone new.

 

[pyros]

this is not quantum physics.

Just text her, and if she seems happy to hear from you, answers your texts quickly etc, you ask her out. Then you will have your answer.

Easy as that.

 

[NickAdams713]

For the life of me, I have no idea why you guys make this stuff so much harder than it is.

Is it really that big of a deal to say to a a girl/woman "I'd like to get to know you better. Let's grab a drink/snack/coffee one day this week?"

It's like making a bet in poker to find out where you stand. If she says yes, proceed with tight game. If she makes excuses to not meet, move on. Stop overthinking.

 

[superstorm250]

I know all I need to know.

When a woman is attracted to you she will let you know. You developed feelings for her but you did not create attraction. I've been there.

Note that I told my last girlfriend I had a crush on her within the first 5 minutes of speaking to her. The previous girl I told her she was beautiful in the first paragraph. 50% of the time I was with either girl in my life, she and I were in bed together. You probably spent hundreds and maybe thousands of hours with this girl and you were the only guy and you didn't tell her you had a crush on her? You have her number but never texted her?

You actually don't, I didn't provide any backstory to this situation and didn't go into details. What makes you think that she never let me know that she was attracted to me, there is a lot about this that I still haven't said. And no I didn't because I was busy working most of the time, I was the one with the most seniority on my shift and the only one who knew how everything is supposed to work there, I really didn't have time to just stand around and flirt and then reveal my feelings to her, my work ethic comes first. And no I never texted her because I didn't want to fall into the "texting buddy" category which is just another level of the friendzone.

 

[superstorm250]

Just be a man & ask her out. If she wants to go out with you, it's a clear indication that she's attracted to you. Your next task would be to have a fun date. And if she doesn't want to go out with you, just forget her & ask someone new.

For the life of me, I have no idea why you guys make this stuff so much harder than it is.

Is it really that big of a deal to say to a a girl/woman "I'd like to get to know you better. Let's grab a drink/snack/coffee one day this week?"

It's like making a bet in poker to find out where you stand. If she says yes, proceed with tight game. If she makes excuses to not meet, move on. Stop overthinking.

this is not quantum physics.

Just text her, and if she seems happy to hear from you, answers your texts quickly etc, you ask her out. Then you will have your answer.

Easy as that.

I don't think its that easy, we currently don't text each other at all and we had all talked about hanging out in a group setting, not one on one with her. I think its gonna take hanging out in a group first to even get to that point.

 

[marmel75]

Sorry for the confusion, I can try to clarify a little bit more. I already have her number and I've already added her on social media as well, but we were working together at a temporary seasonal job, and now that job has ended and we don't work together anymore. We also haven't talked to each other at all since our last day of work, which was 5 days ago. And I feel like I need to reach out to her soon, otherwise she might get the impression that I'm not interested in her and move on, I just don't know how I should reach out to her (obviously its gonna be via text) and have it come off in a positive way instead of weird/random. And as for the situation with her niece, I know for sure that she does like me and that makes me feel uncomfortable because she's only 17 and she also lives with the girl that I like so that makes this situation even more difficult.

It's simple..."Hey xxx...it's [Your name]. Save my number." Say just that or If you want ask how her day is going or ask if she is staying out of trouble with all the extra free time she has, or ask what she has been doing with all her free time now. Soemthing simple to start it off. Then go from there...I'd recommend texting a few times and then ask her out.

It's simple. Don't overthink it. Guys think they have to come up with all these elaborate schemes to get a woman out on a date. You don't. No elaborate scheme is going to get a woman who is not interested with you out on a date. Neither is going the simple route going to cause a women who is interested to suddenly become not interested.

 

[marmel75]

I don't think its that easy, we currently don't text each other at all and we had all talked about hanging out in a group setting, not one on one with her. I think its gonna take hanging out in a group first to even get to that point.

No. It's not. If she is interested in you she will go out with you, simple as that.

To me, this sounds like you simply aren't confident enough in yourself and want to drag this out for a while so you can still have some "hope" of her going out with you because you are afraid if you ask right away she will say no.

This is a very inexperienced position to take and not consistent with the way things work. I'd suggest you get this out of your head immedaitely if this is indeed the case. All that will do is make you look weak and scared which is exceptionally unattractive to women. You are far better off showing some balls and confidence and asking her out immediately rather than playing it scared.

 

[superstorm250]

No. It's not. If she is interested in you she will go out with you, simple as that.

To me, this sounds like you simply aren't confident enough in yourself and want to drag this out for a while so you can still have some "hope" of her going out with you because you are afraid if you ask right away she will say no.

This is a very inexperienced position to take and not consistent with the way things work. I'd suggest you get this out of your head immedaitely if this is indeed the case. All that will do is make you look weak and scared which is exceptionally unattractive to women. You are far better off showing some balls and confidence and asking her out immediately rather than playing it scared.

That's actually pretty spot on, I'm almost 24 and I've never had a girlfriend and I've also never asked a girl out before due to very low confidence and always assuming the answer would always be no (have had sex though, first time was with a girl I hooked up with). So I definitely have felt like its been too soon to make a move like that, and what makes this situation more difficult is that her 17 year old niece does like me for sure and the two of them live together and even share a bedroom. On our last day of work, I worked with her aunt for a little while and she got so mad that she wouldn't talk to either of us for awhile after that. So that could make her aunt skeptical to get involved with me because she doesn't want to upset her niece (who gets rejected by guys all the time) and make their relationship worse. So the whole niece situation definitely makes the whole thing more difficult.

 

[Trump]

Ok first of all, you don't know anything about this situation because I didn't want to make the first post of this thread too long. Second, I was the only guy she worked with on our shift most of the time and there was only one other guy in our age group at work and she barely saw him and didn't really know him. Third, she is extremely shy so she's not the type of person to text a guy first and that's why she's not texting me.

Bro take a step back and look at your words carefully. You are getting defensive and DEFENDING this girl and you haven't even slept with her yet. You got this princess image of her in your mind. You got to destroy this image before you can do anything with her.

I should've told her how I feel before our last day of work together but I thought it was too soon. Now its harder because I have to plan something, otherwise we aren't going to talk to or see each other again. That's why I need help, because I ****ed up and made things harder for myself.

Bro it is never "too soon" with a girl you are attracted to. Again you have been listening to Disney and Cinderella. You have to move as fast as possible to sleep with them or else they will take advantage.

 

[superstorm250]

Bro take a step back and look at your words carefully. You are getting defensive and DEFENDING this girl and you haven't even slept with her yet. You got this princess image of her in your mind. You got to destroy this image before you can do anything with her.



Bro it is never "too soon" with a girl you are attracted to. Again you have been listening to Disney and Cinderella. You have to move as fast as possible to sleep with them or else they will take advantage.

I'm not defending her at all, I really was only one of two guys in our age group at work and she didn't even work with the other one and he knows that I'm into her and he himself said that he'd help me if he knew her better but he doesn't. And we've never really texted each other before and I can tell that she's the type of person who wants the guy to take the lead when it comes to texting. I'm not saying that she isn't texting any guys at all because I'm sure that she probably is, I'm just saying that she's the type of person who waits for a guy to text her first, especially if they've never texted before. And I would do that if I just wanted to hook up, I feel like going for dating a girl requires a different strategy. Now my strategy could be wrong, all I'm saying is going for sex right away seems to work better for hooking up than it does for dating. BTW, I like your username #MAGA

 

[Initiatedindenial]

You are coming here for advice but you are not listening to anybody besides what you want to hear... which by the way I have no clue what is it.

 

[Glassguy]

I love it when people come here for advice while hung up on one particular chick and then get all pissy and aggressive when literally everyone tells them what they dont want to hear.

 

[NickAdams713]

I love it when people come here for advice while hung up on one particular chick and then get all pissy and aggressive when literally everyone tells them what they dont want to hear.

Glassyguy, exactly. This dude has no game. We tell him to use some game. He gets mad and tells us he wants the easy way out. "Go out in a group" AKA social circle game (which is weak game).

Don't come here asking for advice when all you want is affirmation.

 

[RangerMIke]

Call her up, make a date. If she won't go out with you, forget about her. You are over thinking this. You should NEVER waste any time or energy on girls that will not go out with you. They do not exist unless they date you.

Group dates do not count... she has to be willing to spend time alone with you.