What should i do?

[B012]

Ive had a few threads and have pmed NorwegianDJ about this a few times before but i have no idea what i should do next, any suggestions? Ill try and keep this short:

I liked this girl for a long time, finally said something to her and she told me that she didnt want to be in a relationship because of a bunch of things. She wasnt just making up an excuse - she had to move away from home as her mums crazy, has a lot of stress from the subjects she is doing at school and will have to move countries at the end of the year to live with her aunt. She was saying her life is moving too fast now, she doesnt want to think about guys atm etc. and that she doesnt think i "deserve her baggage", yet she also said i was interesting and her friends think im cute.

I was at a party and she got a bit drunk (which was actually kind of an accident, wont explain it but she usually wouldnt have got drunk so easily) and was kind of flirty and hugged quite a few guys (and girls) but hugged me quite a bit, she even put her arm around my shoulder when we were inside to sing happy birthday and she may have tried to kiss me on the cheek but missed and i moved a bit (didnt realise -.-) lol. Idk if he heard off her or was just saying stuff but some guy at that party with no prior knowledge of anything between us heard that i liked her and told me that he doesnt think she wants to go out with me "just be **** buddies". Someone also asked her to hook up with me but she said that she didnt want me to think anything would happen afterwards.

Then a few weeks later i was kind of drunk texting her almost haha and in the replies she said i was awesome and "Nawwww you're cute as" so yeah, i think she likes me but idk how i can ask her out or anything. I know i cant have a completely serious relationship with her and i dont mind that - if she just wanted casual sex then id be fine with that. But if i try and ask her out i think she might think that i want a serious relationship. So what should i do? Keep in mind this is the only time i have been at a party with her/practically never see her outside of school, and if im lucky i might only get to be at 2 other parties with her this year - might be none though.

 

[Plec07]

Just progress things yourself. I think they best way through this situation is to not put a label on it. Organise to meet up with her and hang out. Do fun stuff like movies, arcade. Even just go for walks with her sometimes.

Then when your with her just progress it through passion. When your just hanging out kiss her. When your at your house on your bed watching a move or just chatting start making out with her. Progress it with actions, not with words.

Words will put a label on it, let make it passionate and she'll turn to jelly and let you do whatever you want with her. You have a romantic edge on this on the fact you both know it can't last, no matter how much you want it to. Almost like a holiday romance.

 

[B012]

We have quite important exams at the moment so i am going to wait until after them. I will ask her to come and watch a movie with and a friend of mine + his girl friend and I (he actually suggested it, she has spoken to him once but doesnt know him). I havent met up with her outside of school before really and i dont want to sound like im asking her out too much so im thinking of asking her casually by text. During the movie ill put my arm around her, hold hands and eventually kiss her etc. but i wont plan/think about that a lot - just try and do it naturally. Sound good?

 

[Plec07]

The only issue I see with that is I seriously doubt she will feel comfortable kissing you for the first time in front of other people. Hold hands, cuddle ect is all good. But I strongly suggest against going for the first kiss in front of friends, no matter how close they are. She won't be comfortable with it.

 

[B012]

Well i wont try and force it then, she doesnt really know them - just spoken to the guy once on facebook (she doesnt have him added). Plus it would be dark inside though and the other two will probably be making out from the beginning haha. Any problems with how i was going to ask her out?

 

[Rhino]

No, no problem with your original plan, but don't make it "asking her out." Just have her hang out with you sometime, you two alone, and make it clear through your actions that its a date. Actions speak louder than words, and at any rate asking her as a date would put unneeded pressure on the situation. (that pretty much applies in all instances)

 

[B012]

I was texting her and she made a bit of a joke involving the concept of our english exam and a few texts later i did the same but bassically saying she should sleep with me lol (hard to explain without mentioning past texts and what the exam was about lol). She replied "Ahhh ______ You make me lol." and then mentioned she felt very lonely having a double bed all to herself, i texted back saying if she ever needed any company she just had to ask and her reply was kind of blunt just saying "Lol thanks i'll make a mental note." Overall quite positive though i suppose, i dont think ill have to worry about her saying no when i ask her to watch a movie with me.

 

[Rhino]

mentioned she felt very lonely having a double bed all to herself

You're in business, my friend.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Im just gonna point out that it seems to me that she has been leading so far.
Time to take the lead yourself if you wanna accomplish something.
Just do it.

 

[B012]

Ok ill try, not going to lie though im quite shy and get a bit nervous around her. I guess i'll go and try to hug her and talk a bit next time i see her (probably while last minute studying in library next week).

BTW should i ask her out (well to see a movie i mean) in real life or through text? I dont want it to seem too much like a date while im asking but dont want to make a bad impression or something lol.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

As long as you ask her, it doesn't matter really. Why don't you want it to seem like a date? Do you want to conceal your emotions or your motive until the very end?

 

[B012]

As long as you ask her, it doesn't matter really. Why don't you want it to seem like a date? Do you want to conceal your emotions or your motive until the very end?

She knows my emotions/feelings towards her so i dont care about that its just she is a bit confused about hers it seems. As i said in the post, and explained in further detail to you a few weeks ago by pm, she told me before that she didnt really want to be in a relationship - but its pretty obvious now that it might not be the case. Im just a bit scared if it seems too much like a date she might say no.