What should I do? (no success)

[shouldbefun]

Yes, I failed. I think I've burnt out. I got this feeling in my mind as if someone gave you an impossible mission and they know you are going to fail. But maybe its your ego, or maybe its in you, rooted deep down to not quit, to try against all odds, to give it one more shot, to put one foot in front of another. So what do you do, you straighten your back, smile and say I'll try; against all odds you fight.

Today, I mustered the fortitude to approach a girl I spotted on campus that I really liked. I approached her, thought better lets test it instead of keeping thinking about it. Can't say it was a smooth one, but I did it. Mouth got dry real quick and I thought I was putting my voice on mute but I asked her out. I think this happened only to several chicks over the many chicks I approached. Guess what I got? A good ole'rejection. I didn't even feel anything. Once I heard that no, I felt as if I failed on winning that first place that I dreamed so much of, everything got fuzzy and all the voices just drowned out, even hers, it just didn't matter anymore. I just said 'Ok cool' and walked away. I think this was a defense mechanism because thinking about this, I can only say What in the F@** , this is totally not cool, nothing cool about it.

It could be a cause of just bad luck. Or maybe I'm just choosing low interest girls. But hey, some of those girls hold IOI at me when they walk by me, smile if we meet eyes, or I notice them looking at me, some intensely btw which then I approach. Sounds bizarre. One expects a different story.

I had more than five cases recently were I talk to a girl, grab her number, set a date in a few days, she cancels the first, I set a second date and my message is never read. It's in her inbox but never opened. This is a summary basically. Anyways I feel like a lost cause. I definitely stopped worrying about a girl replying or if I sent the right message. I just assume that she doesn't. I kind of started to accept being alone.

I don't want to quit and I'm still 'holding my fists close to my chin', but damn this is harder than I thought.

I don't know. Maybe my game needs work, maybe I need to do night game but I can't, I literally am dying from morning till night, and I don't think I can do the night ones. My day game is not having any success though currently.

Probably the reason why I decided to post this post is because everyone assumes that its easy. Well my story says that its not easy. That its hard. That it takes not only balls, but you have to really want it and not let the ego, depression get to you. Trouble is, we hear about success all the time. Lay report, field report, but what about a fail report. You never hear about them. Heck even PUA don't write fail reports, why not right? Well, because they are a bunch of liars who think its easier to sugar coat the lies and make it effortless, all you have to do is enroll in a bootcamp or buy this online video set for 2k dollars and you'll get laid. Phuck No! Girls won't jump into your life that easily. They know that if they let out the truths how hard it is, most people won't even buy their products. Sex sells remember that boys!

P.S I acknowledge that some guys don't need this. They are uglier than me, never read or been on such forums and can attract girls. Cool. Good for them and I don't really care because I am fixing my life and not worried about other dudes.

Not looking for pity, just sharing that I'm not having the rockstar life most of you would assume one would have after reading and approaching girls. I am interested in making my game maybe better, fine tune myself but right now, I want to get this out for everyone to remember that its alright to fail.

 

[Black Widow Void]

You are right. It is *absolutely* "alright to fail."
In my book, the true 'failures" are the ones that do not take chances. You took chances. You aren't the failure.
Like any true successful salesman, expect rejection, learn and tweak, improve technique and turn possible failures into success.

 

[shouldbefun]

You are right. It is *absolutely* "alright to fail."
In my book, the true 'failures" are the ones that do not take chances. You took chances. You aren't the failure.
Like any true successful salesman, expect rejection, learn and tweak, improve technique and turn possible failures into success.

Roger that, those who haven't experienced day game, cold or warm never understand how much this rejection can be intense on the mind, on the ego, especially when its above 50 rejections. That if you actually listen to those 'self doubt' voices in their head, you can easily convince yourself that you don't need to do this ****, that its all pointless and its even better if you never return back to approaching ever in your life because it's futile.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Cold approaching similar to online dating is sh1t for most guys. Maybe try an activity where women will be present like yoga/meetup groups. That way you'll have a warm approach.

 

[Clamslammer]

Yes, I failed. I think I've burnt out. I got this feeling in my mind as if someone gave you an impossible mission and they know you are going to fail. But maybe its your ego, or maybe its in you, rooted deep down to not quit, to try against all odds, to give it one more shot, to put one foot in front of another. So what do you do, you straighten your back, smile and say I'll try; against all odds you fight.

Today, I mustered the fortitude to approach a girl I spotted on campus that I really liked. I approached her, thought better lets test it instead of keeping thinking about it. Can't say it was a smooth one, but I did it. Mouth got dry real quick and I thought I was putting my voice on mute but I asked her out. I think this happened only to several chicks over the many chicks I approached. Guess what I got? A good ole'rejection. I didn't even feel anything. Once I heard that no, I felt as if I failed on winning that first place that I dreamed so much of, everything got fuzzy and all the voices just drowned out, even hers, it just didn't matter anymore. I just said 'Ok cool' and walked away. I think this was a defense mechanism because thinking about this, I can only say What in the F@** , this is totally not cool, nothing cool about it.

It could be a cause of just bad luck. Or maybe I'm just choosing low interest girls. But hey, some of those girls hold IOI at me when they walk by me, smile if we meet eyes, or I notice them looking at me, some intensely btw which then I approach. Sounds bizarre. One expects a different story.

I had more than five cases recently were I talk to a girl, grab her number, set a date in a few days, she cancels the first, I set a second date and my message is never read. It's in her inbox but never opened. This is a summary basically. Anyways I feel like a lost cause. I definitely stopped worrying about a girl replying or if I sent the right message. I just assume that she doesn't. I kind of started to accept being alone.

I don't want to quit and I'm still 'holding my fists close to my chin', but damn this is harder than I thought.

I don't know. Maybe my game needs work, maybe I need to do night game but I can't, I literally am dying from morning till night, and I don't think I can do the night ones. My day game is not having any success though currently.

Probably the reason why I decided to post this post is because everyone assumes that its easy. Well my story says that its not easy. That its hard. That it takes not only balls, but you have to really want it and not let the ego, depression get to you. Trouble is, we hear about success all the time. Lay report, field report, but what about a fail report. You never hear about them. Heck even PUA don't write fail reports, why not right? Well, because they are a bunch of liars who think its easier to sugar coat the lies and make it effortless, all you have to do is enroll in a bootcamp or buy this online video set for 2k dollars and you'll get laid. Phuck No! Girls won't jump into your life that easily. They know that if they let out the truths how hard it is, most people won't even buy their products. Sex sells remember that boys!

P.S I acknowledge that some guys don't need this. They are uglier than me, never read or been on such forums and can attract girls. Cool. Good for them and I don't really care because I am fixing my life and not worried about other dudes.

Not looking for pity, just sharing that I'm not having the rockstar life most of you would assume one would have after reading and approaching girls. I am interested in making my game maybe better, fine tune myself but right now, I want to get this out for everyone to remember that its alright to fail.

DO NOT give up on yourself buddy. Most people put so much stock into dating that when it does not work out they feel depressed. Start working out and be the best version of yourself, find your purpose in life and work on that instead of chasing girls. You do this girls will be asking you out.

I could tell you one thing if girls are really checking you out and finding you attractive they may just be nervous around you. I have had girls reject me intially and then ask me out a month later. Never burn bridges with girls when they reject you.

Look at the bright side, you had the balls to walk up to a girl and ask her out on a date in person. I don't know many men that are capable of doing that or having that confidence. I guarantee your confidence level will go up since you were able to do this. Most guys on this forum have never done it and usually sit behind the safety of their dating app.

 

[DariusTheBartender]

Well said brother. I've been w almost 200 women and still will tell you it's a hard return. Now maybe every 5 approaches I'm either getting a number, hooking up at the bar, or taking her home (significantly less in OLD w matches). But in the old days it may have been 20. It's a game of persistency and never ending self advancement. You can't take it personally. I remember one night partying in Vegas getting rejected by a bunch of average women and somehow taking home a knockout babe that approached me, the sex was so hot we left marks on each other that were sexually violent. It's all about timing, meeting the one that you are her type and vice versa. You mentioned campus so assuming you are college age... Trust me, stay persistent, it gets easier, and better with time

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You approached 5? Bro maybe at 50 you will start seeing a little success, maybe more success at 100 and probably won't get good until you hit about 200.

The problem with this is guys do so few and if they don't succeed they give up. If you were playing basketball do you think you'd practice 5 free throws and then quit if you missed all 5? Hell no...you'd keep shooting...they practice hundreds of free throws a day and these guys are already good at it. Could you imagine where we would be today if all the inventors in the world felt down and out after trying something 5 times and it didn't work so they gave up? We would literally still be stuck in the middle ages.

Why? Because practice really does make perfect.

Bro you are down from 5 rejections? Sorry you haven't done anything even remotely close to giving you enough practice to become good.

Go out and do it 50 more times and report back. And keep reporting back every 50 times. Guarantee you start seeing better results. There are no short cuts in life to becoming good at something new. There is only hard work and practice and if you aren't willing to put in the work then you shouldn't be surprised at your lack of results.

 

[GrowingPains]

@shouldbefun , my graduate student brethren. It's critical thinking time.

I'm going to focus on ownership of the problem. Because while there may be several external factors, all we can do in this situation is control the ones related to ourselves.

So you went out. You attempted to achieve a goal using your current skill set, but you failed. It appears, by your mention of many failures, that your current skills are not enough. Is this fair to claim? How many approaches did you do? How much data do you have to validate that said skill set is not enough?

Once you started to experience more failure than you had hoped, what did you decide to change? It was obvious that your initial hypothesis wasn't working. Or perhaps it did follow the general trend of the data but there's some offset - error, if you will. So, did you re-invent your technique, gain new skills and try again to see if you could minimize that error (convert approaches to dates)?

What did you change?

Why do you think it did/didn't work?


It is okay to fail in the pursuit of success. But only if you learn something from it. And further more, apply what you learned if you deem the pursuit still worthwhile.

 

[shouldbefun]

@shouldbefun , my graduate student brethren. It's critical thinking time.

I'm going to focus on ownership of the problem. Because while there may be several external factors, all we can do in this situation is control the ones related to ourselves.

So you went out. You attempted to achieve a goal using your current skill set, but you failed. It appears, by your mention of many failures, that your current skills are not enough. Is this fair to claim? How many approaches did you do? How much data do you have to validate that said skill set is not enough?

Once you started to experience more failure than you had hoped, what did you decide to change? It was obvious that your initial hypothesis wasn't working. Or perhaps it did follow the general trend of the data but there's some offset - error, if you will. So, did you re-invent your technique, gain new skills and try again to see if you could minimize that error (convert approaches to dates)?

What did you change?

Why do you think it did/didn't work?


It is okay to fail in the pursuit of success. But only if you learn something from it. And further more, apply what you learned if you deem the pursuit still worthwhile.

I guess I had a burn out. Stress got the best of me and I got uncertain.

I'll probably be back soon

Thanks brethren! Might need to tighten my Game!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You need way more failures to learn to succeed. 50, 100, 150...you will figure it out eventually and perfect your craft.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Dude hey cool all about your balls to do this. But you will build more attraction if you "dont do this" theres so much bullshyt about approaching out here it will make you sick. Approach not to approach.
Let the natural flow of interactions lead you to convos.

Exactly right. Just be normal and fun and cool. No BS no nothing. You'd be surprised how far this alone will get you.

So many guys are socially awkward and can't hold a normal conversation these days its amazing.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I guess I had a burn out. Stress got the best of me and I got uncertain.

I'll probably be back soon

Thanks brethren! Might need to tighten my Game!

Yo bro how are you? Everything going well?

 

[Pajeet Singh]

Some Master Don Juan know me, and they know I have failed too. I have accepted it. Acceptance is the biggest cure. If you feel like loser and got your ego hurt so please stop pursuing any other girl for some time. Invest your "Time" in reading books. Read the Don Juan Tips. Laugh at other people stories and lighten up. Most importantly, improve yourself. If you don't have six packs. Go get it in 3 months. If you are bad in Maths, go read the book front to back. Trade in stock market. Just do everything for yourself for now. Love yourself. Learn python and write some machine learning code. Promise yourself that 2020 it will be you and only you. 300 days left for the year. Invest all 300 days on yourself.
I have started learning to animate and I have promised myself I will produce quality animation by the end of July. Btw I drew this bone anatomy myself.

 

[gettinit]

There is a lot of wisdom offered on this thread. One thing that I can add is that as long as you give a sh*t about whether you will fail, it's a self fulfilling prophecy. Try and try again. Eventuality, things will just comfortably roll. Yes, it's hard, just like anything worth learning. I remember the day that this occured for me. I was at a business conference party at a hotel bar and every guy in the place was trying to hit the one really hot girl there. I just didn't care, busted on her, spoke my mind and just mingled around. She chased me down in the end. Believe me, I have failed misserably and still regularly go down in flames. From my experience, day game outside of an activity is the hardest, but also a good way to thicken your skin. You WILL find your sweet spot. Hang in there.

 

[biggoal]

Yes, I failed. I think I've burnt out. I got this feeling in my mind as if someone gave you an impossible mission and they know you are going to fail. But maybe its your ego, or maybe its in you, rooted deep down to not quit, to try against all odds, to give it one more shot, to put one foot in front of another. So what do you do, you straighten your back, smile and say I'll try; against all odds you fight.

Today, I mustered the fortitude to approach a girl I spotted on campus that I really liked. I approached her, thought better lets test it instead of keeping thinking about it. Can't say it was a smooth one, but I did it. Mouth got dry real quick and I thought I was putting my voice on mute but I asked her out. I think this happened only to several chicks over the many chicks I approached. Guess what I got? A good ole'rejection. I didn't even feel anything. Once I heard that no, I felt as if I failed on winning that first place that I dreamed so much of, everything got fuzzy and all the voices just drowned out, even hers, it just didn't matter anymore. I just said 'Ok cool' and walked away. I think this was a defense mechanism because thinking about this, I can only say What in the F@** , this is totally not cool, nothing cool about it.

It could be a cause of just bad luck. Or maybe I'm just choosing low interest girls. But hey, some of those girls hold IOI at me when they walk by me, smile if we meet eyes, or I notice them looking at me, some intensely btw which then I approach. Sounds bizarre. One expects a different story.

I had more than five cases recently were I talk to a girl, grab her number, set a date in a few days, she cancels the first, I set a second date and my message is never read. It's in her inbox but never opened. This is a summary basically. Anyways I feel like a lost cause. I definitely stopped worrying about a girl replying or if I sent the right message. I just assume that she doesn't. I kind of started to accept being alone.

I don't want to quit and I'm still 'holding my fists close to my chin', but damn this is harder than I thought.

I don't know. Maybe my game needs work, maybe I need to do night game but I can't, I literally am dying from morning till night, and I don't think I can do the night ones. My day game is not having any success though currently.

Probably the reason why I decided to post this post is because everyone assumes that its easy. Well my story says that its not easy. That its hard. That it takes not only balls, but you have to really want it and not let the ego, depression get to you. Trouble is, we hear about success all the time. Lay report, field report, but what about a fail report. You never hear about them. Heck even PUA don't write fail reports, why not right? Well, because they are a bunch of liars who think its easier to sugar coat the lies and make it effortless, all you have to do is enroll in a bootcamp or buy this online video set for 2k dollars and you'll get laid. Phuck No! Girls won't jump into your life that easily. They know that if they let out the truths how hard it is, most people won't even buy their products. Sex sells remember that boys!

P.S I acknowledge that some guys don't need this. They are uglier than me, never read or been on such forums and can attract girls. Cool. Good for them and I don't really care because I am fixing my life and not worried about other dudes.

Not looking for pity, just sharing that I'm not having the rockstar life most of you would assume one would have after reading and approaching girls. I am interested in making my game maybe better, fine tune myself but right now, I want to get this out for everyone to remember that its alright to fail.

Do you live on campus or a commuter student? Anyway, IMO in a college setting I would at least try to get to know the girls first in a setting like this. It's not like you're at the gas station and grocery store and will never see them again. I would try and take elective classes that have a lot of girls in it like sociology, psychology, yoga for gym credit, etc and get to know them in class. Also, on group projects try to get in groups with girls in it so you get to know them outside of class.

Plus, it will come off as less creepy and such if they already know you. I know understand it myself. I too see fat slobs, uglier guys, guys who look rough and have tattoos but are skinny and short, not presentable, shorter than me and I still see them with solid HB7 and HB8 girls when I work at the fleamarket for example. I wonder how the heck do they hookup with a decent looking woman like that? I can see the older slobs if they have money but when I see the guy and girl in the same age range and the guy doesn't look decent, how does he get it done? If they're not chads how are the scoring them from OLD then?

Are these majority of men not meeting women from OLD and meet them face to face because a lot of them I see are better looking than most of the women I see on the OLD apps around here so I know it's not from OLD.

OLD apps are a desert down here in this area so how are these men meeting women without OLD?

 

[backseatjuan]

Success = f(K, P, t)

Success is a function of Knowledge, Practise, and talent according to Patrick Winston of MIT.

Where Knowledge and Practise is a lot more important than talent.

You did fail, but not with your failed approach.

You failed by doing just one approach and thinking you have no talent.

When in reality you have no Practise and limited Knowledge.

Don't just approach women that you like.

Approach everyone, men, women, and grandmas to gain Practise and Knowledge.

 

[MrWood]

typical day game scenario:

you: sees a HB
you: "Hi, my name is Foo... how you doin? Noticed you from over there"
her: "Hi, my name is Bar"
you: "cool... ... ... you come around here huh?"
her: "yeah"
you: "umm cool... ... can I umm, get your number? maybe we can hang out sometime"
her: "ok here - 123-456-7890"
you: "heh cool... umm, ok see ya"
you: walks away happy with digits
her: could give a flying fvck about you

this is a recipe for rejection disaster.

its really no wonder why this gets rejection, reschedule and ghost.
You give the girl nothing to think about, to pique her interest or anything... nothing, zero, nadda, zilch

PUAS gets the DIGITS, gets "Rosie Palm" for a date.

FORGET THE DIGITS!!

Fellas... getting digits should only be a followup to something substantial / good vibe and a natural follow.
Its probably easier to exchange snap/insta and try to develop some rapport.

 

[Pajeet Singh]

Art of not giving **** really helped me for some time. The author went through failure as well. It is probably most famous book among people like us.