What should i do about my wife?

[Awwwdasaaa]

I met my wife at 19, been married since 24 (2017). She already had a son when i met her (guilty cuck).
We had a son a year after we got married. Happiest ever, i went full beta and she wanted to leave, dumped it all on me when it was too late. I changed to exactly what she asked for but it wasnt enough for genuine desire. The point was to just separate for a while and see how things go, my son was 1.5yo at this time. So ****ed up how women can just leave their kids whenever they get uncomfortable.
I was absolutely gutted being a single dad, i would of sawn my own arm off to avoid it.
I was incredibly soft on her during our separation, feeling like shes got me by the balls through my son which i care dearly for, his future is paramount to my success as a person.
About 6 months into our separation, we got high together and ****ed when i came to visit. It happened once after that too. The third time i came around she said she doesnt want to have sex anymore as she has found someone else. I again was gutted, and lost all respect for her entirely, she wanted someone elses **** inside her, and thats when i knew we were never getting back together and i had to move on. I started slaying bitches left and right, not a virtuous life for me at that time, but it was alright. A year and a half later continuing an amicable relationship (compliments to beta me) She texts me one day and asks if she wants to spend some more time together with our son. Yep no worries thats nothing but positive for him.
Next day she texts and says she is so very sorry for everything that she has done, trying to keep her dignity in tact, she wasnt desperate. But i was desperate for our son not to grow up in a broken family.
Now we live together again, its been great for our son. And honestly i have enjoyed it to, but everytime i just relish in my life every day, i think i am betraying myself and my own worth.

this guy she ****ed:
Taller than me
Bigger ****
Better job
“Gorgeous curly hair”
“Lives for his kids”
Older than me
“Ocd mealprep”

I am getting this dudes leftovers after hes bounced.
i am literally living the life of a cuck with an alpha widow.
past few months i have read 2 rational male books and onto positive masculinity now, i am completely in control of the relationship and the frame as of right now, i am positively moving towards killing the beta and she is giving me the sex we had when we first met.

i cant shake this feeling of being a cuck, and her ****ing other dudes in the bed that i now sleep.

what should i do?

if i leave, my son sees me only half the time, and the chance she finds some idiot that will abuse my son is high. It is hard for me to just suck it up and move on like it didnt happen, like women expect men to.
If i didnt have my son, or if something happened to him, i would leave her.

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

In the end you need to do whatever makes you happy. Did this woman cheat on you or not? I’m major against raising someone else’s offspring.

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

The “cuck” thing is just your own ego ****ing with you. She dumping you for other d1ck because you were being a pu$$y is on you bro. She had the courtesy to dump you instead of going full blown streets and cheating on you. There’s two options: either you tell your ego to **** off, continue life with her and your son and you don’t turn into a little ***** again or you admit your ego can’t handle what she did and you walk the **** away. Which option is best is upto you to decide.

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

Garbage

Just laying out the options for him. I’d walk away but I am not him. He has to make up for himself what HE wants.

 

[Stuffnu]

Get a lawyer for legal advice regarding you, your son and any assets.
Demand a divorce and then…
RUN!

 

[EyeBRollin]

You aren’t going to like this but..

I woulda told her to go fvck herself and just take the son put me on child support.

The number one thing is respect. She has zero respect for you and frankly it’s better for everyone if you are absent than being a faux household where your woman treats you like shvt and routinely steps out on you.

Men, be careful with who you procreate with. Hves don’t want to be saved.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Her telling you about the other guy in those terms is utterly messed up, it’s beyond the pale. I understand you’re wanting to have a good home for your son and all. But this would mess with any man’s ego if he stayed. How old is your boy now? How about his half brother?

 

[dude99]

I met my wife at 19, been married since 24 (2017). She already had a son when i met her (guilty cuck).
We had a son a year after we got married. Happiest ever, i went full beta and she wanted to leave, dumped it all on me when it was too late. I changed to exactly what she asked for but it wasnt enough for genuine desire. The point was to just separate for a while and see how things go, my son was 1.5yo at this time. So ****ed up how women can just leave their kids whenever they get uncomfortable.
I was absolutely gutted being a single dad, i would of sawn my own arm off to avoid it.
I was incredibly soft on her during our separation, feeling like shes got me by the balls through my son which i care dearly for, his future is paramount to my success as a person.
About 6 months into our separation, we got high together and ****ed when i came to visit. It happened once after that too. The third time i came around she said she doesnt want to have sex anymore as she has found someone else. I again was gutted, and lost all respect for her entirely, she wanted someone elses **** inside her, and thats when i knew we were never getting back together and i had to move on. I started slaying bitches left and right, not a virtuous life for me at that time, but it was alright. A year and a half later continuing an amicable relationship (compliments to beta me) She texts me one day and asks if she wants to spend some more time together with our son. Yep no worries thats nothing but positive for him.
Next day she texts and says she is so very sorry for everything that she has done, trying to keep her dignity in tact, she wasnt desperate. But i was desperate for our son not to grow up in a broken family.
Now we live together again, its been great for our son. And honestly i have enjoyed it to, but everytime i just relish in my life every day, i think i am betraying myself and my own worth.

this guy she ****ed:
Taller than me
Bigger ****
Better job
“Gorgeous curly hair”
“Lives for his kids”
Older than me
“Ocd mealprep”

I am getting this dudes leftovers after hes bounced.
i am literally living the life of a cuck with an alpha widow.
past few months i have read 2 rational male books and onto positive masculinity now, i am completely in control of the relationship and the frame as of right now, i am positively moving towards killing the beta and she is giving me the sex we had when we first met.

i cant shake this feeling of being a cuck, and her ****ing other dudes in the bed that i now sleep.

what should i do?

if i leave, my son sees me only half the time, and the chance she finds some idiot that will abuse my son is high. It is hard for me to just suck it up and move on like it didnt happen, like women expect men to.
If i didnt have my son, or if something happened to him, i would leave her.

She showed her true colours and there is nothing redeming about her at all. Kick her out. If you have to take your son and leave. She already abandonded him(and you) once, she will do it again.
it is Better for your son to see a father who stands up for his convictions and morals and walks away on a garbage behaving woman than to teach him it is ok to be used and walked all over.

What should you do? You should have Put the trash where it belongs. At the curb. Not bring it back into your house.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

Only you can answer this question. But clearly it sounds like your psyche is not taking this well. While I will agree with some of the others that ego can sometimes get in the way of making a sound decision, it also sounds like your wife has very little respect for you. If she honestly told you he had a bigger c0ck than you then to me that all by itself would be grounds to next her - no questions asked. I can't imagine my LTR much less wife telling me another man she slept with has a bigger c0ck than me. The other things she has said are also inappropriate.

When there is no respect this creates an untenable situation for the man. Sure, you can remain in this relationship and have her disrespect you for the rest of your lives. And maybe you are willing to deal with that for your son. I wouldn't be able to do that. Sometimes kids are better off if the parents AREN'T in the same household.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Having a child in the mix changes the equation greatly. Many a man has stuck it out in a marriage that was miserable for the sake of the kids. Many would also say no way but I’d hazard a guess that most off the off the cuff reactions like that are from men who don’t have children or have zero paternal instincts.

Your son didn’t choose to be born in that fluster cluck and he’s your lineage, it is your responsibility to do what is right for him first. Sometimes that means leaving the marriage as well because it’s affecting you the person he relies on.

Tough decisions face you, but only you can make that choice.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Hey OP,

Sorry you had to go through this. No one’s game is ever prefect 100% of the time and it usually takes a big loss in a relationship like getting dumped or cheated on before guys seek more knowledge and find the red pill or something similar.

On to your case...

Know that there is no 100%/0% right/wrong answer here. There are many moving parts so it's going to be about getting some things you want and giving up some others. Kind of like applying to and working a job. In almost 100% of all cases there are things people really like about their job and things they don't. If they stay, there's usually more they like (or they're very fearful of change). If they go, the bad components outweigh the good. It's the same thing with you. I think you need to decide what's most important to you: raising your child in a two parent household, you finding a more suitable partner/wife, screwing other women, keeping your marriage together, working on your career, health, hobbies, friends, etc. To get some things, you'll have to give up some things.

My view is every child brought into this world DESERVES a loving, caring, supportive household. Bottom line: some parents are good and some are bad---and both affect the child greatly later on in life. I'm living proof, but won't get into the details.

I think co-parenting can work provided both are open to it, there are ground rules, and both are emotionally mature enough to do it--this is far and away the #1 factor.

So I would make a list of what you want and then map out some options, stay, go, co-parent, etc. Read it over often and really marinate on it. Eventually the right answer will be self-evident.

You may also want to talk to a family therapist ALONE, preferably a man, to get some perspective. They deal with this all the time. Lay the cards on the table and tell him you're having a hard time determining what to do. You don't have to follow his advice 100% but it may offer some new perspective for you.

Keep us posted.

Good luck.

~Dash

 

[Awwwdasaaa]

Thankyou for your genuine advice gents.
Question for all:
If all womens sexual strategy is optimised hypergamy, and a husband acts beta enough for her to leave and go for another guy, is it the mans fault for not understanding this and acting weak? Or is it the womans fault for not taking the dedication serious enough and being ethically capable to supersede the hypergamy to do something about it?

As situational as a relationship can be, a generalised umbrella answer will be more informative for me.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Thankyou for your genuine advice gents.
Question for all:
If all womens sexual strategy is optimised hypergamy, and a husband acts beta enough for her to leave and go for another guy, is it the mans fault for not understanding this and acting weak? Or is it the womans fault for not taking the dedication serious enough and being ethically capable to supersede the hypergamy to do something about it?

As situational as a relationship can be, a generalised umbrella answer will be more informative for me.

Man’s fault. We have to be aware of the female mating strategy.

 

[Stuffnu]

Thankyou for your genuine advice gents.
Question for all:
If all womens sexual strategy is optimised hypergamy, and a husband acts beta enough for her to leave and go for another guy, is it the mans fault for not understanding this and acting weak? Or is it the womans fault for not taking the dedication serious enough and being ethically capable to supersede the hypergamy to do something about it?

As situational as a relationship can be, a generalised umbrella answer will be more informative for me.

In a marriage, yes, it always takes 2 to tango.
However as a man, like all men are using an analytical mind to rationalize blame and fault. It doesn’t matter, she crossed the line - you didn’t!!!

Don’t sacrifice your best years over a cheating women. You can still be a great father with her out of your life.

You already identified some of your weaknesses so learn from it. Complacency is the killer of any relationship so always maintain frame and stature.

Good luck!!

 

[BadWatermelon]

One of my friends had a kid, knocked a girl up. They weren't in a relationship or anything.

He married another woman that respects and loves him. He has custody of his kid every other week. I think he is happy with the decision he made.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Thankyou for your genuine advice gents.
Question for all:
If all womens sexual strategy is optimised hypergamy, and a husband acts beta enough for her to leave and go for another guy, is it the mans fault for not understanding this and acting weak? Or is it the womans fault for not taking the dedication serious enough and being ethically capable to supersede the hypergamy to do something about it?

As situational as a relationship can be, a generalised umbrella answer will be more informative for me.

As you've gathered, women deep down do not want to be orbited by the guy they're fvcking. Imo all healthy women want a guy that they cannot completely tame, it allows them to melt into a submissive feminine energy in a neverending attempt to seduce him.

You gained back some of your masculinity and are holding frame, awesome! You have to completely forget about your past cuck behavior, the more attention you give it, the more you bring that energy into the present moment.

True masculinity is uninhibited vulnerability in the form of accountability. Own your past, own every mistake, and stand by them. No matter what anyone thinks or says, as a man you must always be working to build a fortress in your mind so that you're self validated as much as possible.

If you're self assured, then it sounds like you have some core principles that she's violated. Be decisive in what your boundaries are, then enforce them relentlessly. As others have mentioned, your kid will pick up on the energy from both of you, including your resentment.

Since you were being a cuck, you deserved how she treated you. So to answer your question, it's the man's fault for not looking out for himself. She did you a favor, your choices were to wallow further into cuckdom or stand up for yourself. Sounds like in the end it was a healthy wake up call.

Do you still think about the last time you shiit your pants too? Forget that cuck past, you were a different person. Put energy into what you want to see and strive to improve. Good way to keep your SO on her toes is to always be working on yourself. Workout, eat well, travel, network in circles with other women (just knowing them and talking to them will help cultivate an abundant mindset), take your kid places, etc.

Be the unmovable rock your wife and son cling to during the storms. Personally I would start getting a plan together to GTFO, no way am I going to raise kids in a house with a woman I can't trust, and one that's so quick to break up a household. OR I would come up with something that would help me feel 'even' with her, like roughly choking her on my c0ck for an hour or spanking her to blood (always use a safe word).

I'd meet tons of women and work with a lawyer on how to retain custody. I would do this casually but keep the lawyer business to myself. Let my son learn from a woman I actually approve of, not some cold wh0re. What you described in your OP is that deep down you don't think she deserves you. Rather than compromising your standards and stifling your ego, go get what you want.

If you decide to stay, then go get jacked and loaded so that her leaving you and keeping your kid away is so inconsequential to you that you laugh at the idea.

The more you compromise when your gut is screaming to stand up for yourself, the more you feed the inner cuck.

 

[Focal core]

Holy chit

 

[Gamisch]

OP, I like your post because it shows that a child is not the magical glue what wilk fix a relationship. Me and my ex went through a miscarriage, and it still haunts me to this day . A fantasy where everything between us might have been better if my unborn child was here on earth. So you doing all men who read this a huge favor.

About the dude, I always wonder how did you obtain this info? I hope you didn't asked for it yourself? It is cucking yourself, your mind will make up movie clips you really dont wanna see. Either way its disrespectful from her ,but sometimes a man has all these questions in hope she'll say he was worse then he was( only to get burned again, life lesson right there.)

I agree with some of the strong posts above. She is controlling the situation and already showed you what's capable of. Ofcourse we as men are the most important factor and acting beta just never ends well,money kids fame, it doesnt even matter. Youll be punished. And I know exactly what's it like( I have a 10 y.o kid). Very noble of you trying to make it work and keep the nuclear family form alive . I Stayed just to make it work , and lost a lot of myself in the process . Still glad I did, it was a experience and a lesson but I wished I left earlier. Took big mental punches.

 

[bat soup]

I met my wife at 19, been married since 24 (2017). She already had a son when i met her (guilty cuck).
We had a son a year after we got married. Happiest ever, i went full beta and she wanted to leave, dumped it all on me when it was too late. I changed to exactly what she asked for but it wasnt enough for genuine desire. The point was to just separate for a while and see how things go, my son was 1.5yo at this time. So ****ed up how women can just leave their kids whenever they get uncomfortable.
I was absolutely gutted being a single dad, i would of sawn my own arm off to avoid it.
I was incredibly soft on her during our separation, feeling like shes got me by the balls through my son which i care dearly for, his future is paramount to my success as a person.
About 6 months into our separation, we got high together and ****ed when i came to visit. It happened once after that too. The third time i came around she said she doesnt want to have sex anymore as she has found someone else. I again was gutted, and lost all respect for her entirely, she wanted someone elses **** inside her, and thats when i knew we were never getting back together and i had to move on. I started slaying bitches left and right, not a virtuous life for me at that time, but it was alright. A year and a half later continuing an amicable relationship (compliments to beta me) She texts me one day and asks if she wants to spend some more time together with our son. Yep no worries thats nothing but positive for him.
Next day she texts and says she is so very sorry for everything that she has done, trying to keep her dignity in tact, she wasnt desperate. But i was desperate for our son not to grow up in a broken family.
Now we live together again, its been great for our son. And honestly i have enjoyed it to, but everytime i just relish in my life every day, i think i am betraying myself and my own worth.

this guy she ****ed:
Taller than me
Bigger ****
Better job
“Gorgeous curly hair”
“Lives for his kids”
Older than me
“Ocd mealprep”

I am getting this dudes leftovers after hes bounced.
i am literally living the life of a cuck with an alpha widow.
past few months i have read 2 rational male books and onto positive masculinity now, i am completely in control of the relationship and the frame as of right now, i am positively moving towards killing the beta and she is giving me the sex we had when we first met.

i cant shake this feeling of being a cuck, and her ****ing other dudes in the bed that i now sleep.

what should i do?

if i leave, my son sees me only half the time, and the chance she finds some idiot that will abuse my son is high. It is hard for me to just suck it up and move on like it didnt happen, like women expect men to.
If i didnt have my son, or if something happened to him, i would leave her.

What you need to do is sleep around more on the side. This kind of woman doesn't deserve your loyalty.

 

[Murk]

I couldn't personally live with my wife/mother of my child, being pump and dumped by this dude she's described in such detail. He sounds amazing, better than you in every way, why on earth would she let him go? Oh, that's right. And you just know she's thinking about him every single time you bang her (poorly).

Nah I'd be out of there, your kid needs a strong father, not just some dude living in the house, and I think you need to bounce from this sh!tshow to be a self-respecting, dominant male as you want your son to be.