What separates you from the competition? Think of something hard you participate(d) in

[oc16]

When it comes to confidence and feeling good about yourself (especially around women); think of something that you participate/participated in regularly or in the past (you don't even have to be good at it) that is DIFFICULT and SEPERATES you from the rest of the pack.

The main point is your activity must be take an amount of mental strength and courage to do. Excelling at video games or just going to the gym 4 days a week does not count.

For example, I am a runner and compete in 5K's and 5-mile races. MOST people don't run or dislike running because it is HARD. Whenever I doubt myself or quickly think "Nah, that girl is out of my league" or "Why would this hot chick choose me over all the other guys?" try and remember that hard thing you participate in or participated in.

Perhaps you don't run anymore, but you have completed a half-marathon or a tough MUDder in 30F weather?

Perhaps, you are a former Marine or you were in the service? This takes guts most people don't have.

Maybe your skydived or bungee jumped?

Maybe you speak a foreign language? Most people in the USA only speak English and don't feel like putting in the effort because it is takes enormous mental strength and dedication to learn a new language.

Perhaps you have a black belt in Ju-Jitsu?

Are you a musician? Perhaps you are or were in a band and perform in front of people? That takes guts and most people don't have the courage to do that.

You get my point?

Find something that separates you from your competition and you won't doubt yourself that much.

 

[Billtx49]

I agree completely. Saving a man from drowning while out boating on an area lake, eventually bowling 299 and 300 games after years of effort, and operating your own niche retail furniture business are the types of doing things that up a man’s confidence level, gain female approval, and make dam good stories to tell those women.
Never pass up a life challenge …

 

[oc16]

I agree completely. Saving a man from drowning while out boating on an area lake, eventually bowling 299 and 300 games after years of effort, and operating your own niche retail furniture business are the types of doing that up a man’s confidence level, gain female approval, and make dam good stories to tell those women.
Never pass up a life challenge …

Those are some nice accomplishments

 

[Grounded eagle]

I once won a 100 M race with a torn quadriceps muscle.Before the race,everyone was telling me not to do it,it’s too dangerous,there’s always next year,blah blah blah.

Well I did it.And won.And at the ultrasound scans the physio told me I should have been in excruciating pain.Whenever I need a little pick me up,I remember that race of fortitude.

 

[sangheilios]

I personally have little to no interest in long distance running, but I can totally understand and relate to the underlying point of what you are getting at.

Most men live a life that is relatively comfortable and safe. What I mean by this is that they never really go out of their comfort zone, they don't take risks or venture into unknown territory. As I've gotten older, one thing that I now understand is that what separates successful men and those that are "average", perhaps even below average, is that it took risks and gambles in order to get there. This isn't always the case, some people literally just have everything line up for them and with little to no effort results come on there own.

On a side note, I personally believe that it's healthy for men to engage in something that challenges them in some manner or another. You don't have to literally go for broke with your pursuits, no pun intended, but there should be some sort of element of this in a man's life. As you mentioned, I feel a physical challenge provides tons of various benefits, ranging from health/physical ones to those that you mentioned relating to confidence, etc. This could be BJJ, running, crossfit, whatever.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

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[oc16]

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Haha

 

[RangerMIke]

Well. I am in better physical shape than 95% of men my age and that doesn’t just happen. Being in good physical shape, wearing clothes that fit you and caring about your appearance is the single best way to stand out… and it doesn’t require you to open your mouth and brag.

 

[Striker_93]

Grew up in the hood, and participated in the street life/life of crime. Seen some ****.

 

[Striker_93]

I agree completely. Saving a man from drowning while out boating on an area lake, eventually bowling 299 and 300 games after years of effort, and operating your own niche retail furniture business are the types of doing that up a man’s confidence level, gain female approval, and make dam good stories to tell those women.
Never pass up a life challenge …

Straight badass