What *really* is the friend zone?

[GreatHornedOwl]

Because 90% of the relationships I've seen my friends get into is where they have hung out as friends with the girl first, then it turned into dating. This has gone on since high school, college, etc.

A common theme I notice is these girls knew the guy for a length of time first. The guy didn't just ask for her number, then call her 3 days later to set up a date, then tried to bang her the first night.

It just seems like the advice on this forum is very very rushed, if that makes sense.

 

[Alvafe]

Because 90% of the relationships I've seen my friends get into is where they have hung out as friends with the girl first, then it turned into dating. This has gone on since high school, college, etc.

A common theme I notice is these girls knew the guy for a length of time first. The guy didn't just ask for her number, then call her 3 days later to set up a date, then tried to bang her the first night.

It just seems like the advice on this forum is very very rushed, if that makes sense.

because its high school and college? kinda diferent from other venues, also you don't really know everything it happen "behind the scenes"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Because 90% of the relationships I've seen my friends get into is where they have hung out as friends with the girl first, then it turned into dating. This has gone on since high school, college, etc.

A common theme I notice is these girls knew the guy for a length of time first. The guy didn't just ask for her number, then call her 3 days later to set up a date, then tried to bang her the first night.

It just seems like the advice on this forum is very very rushed, if that makes sense.

This may work if it is someone you know from growing up, or through work or via social circles.

Having no balls and being afraid to go for what you want by being friends with a girl isn't attractive. If you plan on meeting new women and trying to be their friend first then good luck with that. Nobody is saying you should bang every woman on the first date(well most of us aren't), but there needs to be some type of progression.

You cannot be in a relationship with a woman until you had sex. It is not a man's job to get in a relationship it is a woman's. If that is what you want you give that to a woman by meeting up with her, having fun and then having sex over a period of time.

 

[SirBigBell]

The friend-zone is when you are attracted to the girl and are making moves on her, but she knocks you back because she doesnt feel any sexual attraction to you, but likes other attributes in you enough to keep you around as a merely a friend. Its a rejection punch delivered by a fist inside a cotton glove.

If both parties are not sexually attracted to each other, then true friendship can blossom, as neither side is expecting or aiming for anything more. You can hang out, laugh, share dating tips etc with the girl, just as you would with your homeboys.

It is possible for genuine friendship to develop into a romantic relationship over time. We have to remember that love can either germinate from sexual attraction first, or from the strength of commonality developed over time. Some friends get to the point where they have so much in common, enjoy each other’s company and understand each other well until getting into a relationship naturally makes sense.

Waiting around and orbiting a girl who has friend-zoned you is done by beta males with limited options. If they cant win a seat at the top table, they are happy to sit on the floor hoping to either pick up crumbs or to get a sympathy invite to the table. Its a weak move that occasionally does pay off, if you are patient enough to have your time wasted bya girl who isnt interested in you sexually.

Most women upgrade male friends to lovers either after their hearts have been broken multiple times by alpha males, or when they’re tired of monkey-brunching and want to settle down with someone they know and can depend on, a beta male friend.

Fvck the friend zone.

 

[bat soup]

Because 90% of the relationships I've seen my friends get into is where they have hung out as friends with the girl first, then it turned into dating. This has gone on since high school, college, etc.

A common theme I notice is these girls knew the guy for a length of time first. The guy didn't just ask for her number, then call her 3 days later to set up a date, then tried to bang her the first night.

It just seems like the advice on this forum is very very rushed, if that makes sense.

You're just talking about guys taking a long time to make a move. That's normal behaviour for inexperienced guys, as almost everyone is at that age. But when they did make a move, the girls accepted.

Friend zone is something else. It's when you make a move and the girl rejects you but proposes friendship instead. Or if you're too much of a pusssssssssy to ever make a move and you just hang out with girls and listen to them talk about their problems with other guys.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Can you come off too strong, too soon and turn a woman off bat soup?

 

[bat soup]

Can you come off too strong, too soon and turn a woman off bat soup?

Yes. If you move too fast you can scare women away.

But when is too strong and too soon depends on the situation.

 

[ubercat]

Haha wrong. I was playing footsie and other sneaky grabs with a hot Austrian backpacker one night. I got so drunk I tried to light the filter end of a cigarette. She ran away quicker than from a turd in a lift.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I've never been friendzoned by a girl I like. They just stop talking to me lol.

 

[bat soup]

Can you come off too strong, too soon and turn a woman off bat soup?

This can happen, too. You have to be calibrated. If you fail to make a move when a girl gives you the opportunity, then the opportunity will pass and you may never get a chance with her again. Girls will lose interest if you don't make a move when they (in their mind) were giving you clear signals.

But on the other hand, being crude also shows a lack of social intelligence and will come across as unattractive.

I´ll give an example to try to explain what I mean. I once met a girl for the first time in a cafe in Porto, Portugal. It wasn't really even a date, we just met to talk about language and travel. She told me she was lesbian and that she had a girlfriend. Half an hour later, I was fingering her up against a wall.

Did I move too fast? No. So do I recommend fingering every girl you meet within half an hour of meeting? No. So why did I do it in this case? Because whilst we were talking, I was sitting close to her and she didn't move away, so I gradually escalated and we got to this point and beyond.

How fast is too fast really depends, but things can go very fast when two people are attracted to each other and they both know it. There are a lot of subtle signs that can tell you whether to go faster or slower and knowing how to these signs will help you to get where you want to go.

 

[bat soup]

I've never been friendzoned by a girl I like. They just stop talking to me lol.

That's better than being friendzoned. You must be doing something right.

 

[Pandora]

The friend-zone is when you are attracted to the girl and are making moves on her, but she knocks you back because she doesnt feel any sexual attraction to you, but likes other attributes in you enough to keep you around as a merely a friend. Its a rejection punch delivered by a fist inside a cotton glove.

If both parties are not sexually attracted to each other, then true friendship can blossom, as neither side is expecting or aiming for anything more. You can hang out, laugh, share dating tips etc with the girl, just as you would with your homeboys.

It is possible for genuine friendship to develop into a romantic relationship over time. We have to remember that love can either germinate from sexual attraction first, or from the strength of commonality developed over time. Some friends get to the point where they have so much in common, enjoy each other’s company and understand each other well until getting into a relationship naturally makes sense.

Waiting around and orbiting a girl who has friend-zoned you is done by beta males with limited options. If they cant win a seat at the top table, they are happy to sit on the floor hoping to either pick up crumbs or to get a sympathy invite to the table. Its a weak move that occasionally does pay off, if you are patient enough to have your time wasted bya girl who isnt interested in you sexually.

Most women upgrade male friends to lovers either after their hearts have been broken multiple times by alpha males, or when they’re tired of monkey-brunching and want to settle down with someone they know and can depend on, a beta male friend.

Fvck the friend zone.

100%

 

[Pandora]

I think we have to be careful trying to find logic in the mind of the female. Some crazy girls have "kiss zoned" me, then proceeded to friend-zone me for months, then cry when they see with me with another girl. I have had girls do all types of weird behavior when I was friend-zoned. I have had women show me their nudes while friend zoned. Ultimately women are chaotic creatures. They are not in touch with their emotional triggers. We should keep it simple. If she doesn't want to smash you but she smashes other guys...then you should exit the relationship.

The friend-zone is something a male will never truly understand. We say its caused by a lack of sexual attraction but women dont need sexual attraction to have sex with a guy. This is why they marry beta Brad and have sex with him for years. This is why they smash rich guys or ugly club promoters etc.

I knew one girl who friendzoned a guy for YEARS. No kissing, no nothing. He was essentially her gay best friend. After a week of giving her advice ( telling her she should be with him) she ended up dating him and now they are married. I do believe that she will divorce rape him one day.

These creatures are chaos incarnate. One girls friendzone is vastly different from another girls friendzone. As men we should not spend too much time trying to dissect the friendzone because it truly makes no sense.

 

[Pandora]

There are many attractive young women who have sex with big Dogs ( yes canines). So the whole she is not sexually attracted you thing does not make sense either. If you are an average looking dude ( usually you are decent looking for her to be actively trying to parade you around and spend time with you)..then she can manufacture some vagina tingles for you. If they can have sex with dogs then they can have sex with you. Much of the friendzone is a power play. Dont ever forgot who sadistic women are. They will hold something from a man just because he wants it badly.

Some of the friendzone is also culture zone. It is because of race or culture. You are just not the right skin color/ religion and she will feel guilty smashing you because her parents brainwashed her. Some girls put you in the friendzone but then have a dream about having sex with you ( and they still dont do it). Some girls put you in the friendzone until they are drunk....then regret it after. See where I am going with this? These creatures are like the wind. Its best to keep it simple.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

My ex friendzoned a guy that she had met on a date before and he must have showed qualities later on that turned her dry. The guy is good looking, so I guess this guy is basically reserved for last resort pity sex or her if her 4th quarter hail Mary throw fails.

 

[Pandora]

Its all about validation seeking.

An attractive guy that wants to sleep with them is the best friendzone tier, that is like crack cocaine for them. As a general rule, it's more validating when your opposite sex friends place you in sexual attraction zone.

A good advisor or two from the opposite gender is sorely needed as well. Ideally similar smv so similar life perspective.

Clownzoned players, funny guys for entertainment etc (you and I lol) always great for the entourage, makes every social gathering more fun.

High status guys make them look good for obvious reasons.

I guess they dont sleep with you because it will disrupt the power dynamic. They get more benefit from not sleeping with the clown. They also have negative associations with sex. They have slept around enough to understand that most of the power they yield is pre sex. I may be wrong about this though.

I have also noticed that virgins from more innocent cultures do not really have a friendzone. Even introverted girls in the US dont really have a friendzone. If they like a guy's company they generally develop romantic feelings for him. There is no separation between deep affection for a guy and sexual arousal. The more sexually experienced the girl is the easier it is for her to compartmentalize these things.