What Other People Think

[SoonToBeDJ]

Hey guys it's been a while since I have posted and I have definitley improved with the ladies and as a person in general with tips from this place, but I still have one problem. I care what other people think too much. For example, if someone mentions one day they hate xxxxx but in my opinion I love xxxxx, I am afraid to speak out because the other person might disagree strongly.

Not only that but I care what people think too much in general. The whole "I will look like an idiot" phrase comes to mind too much.

Any tips on helping me improve with my problem?

 

[superchristx]

Remember that they feel the same way. So when you say "I love XXXX" say it as thought THEY are an idiot for disagreeing with you. You can even call them an idiot if you have a smooth way to do it. (that would be dark stylee)

I take it further. When people say "I'm afraid of spiders" "I love modern art" or anything else, I contradict them. Even if I agree with them, I contradict and act like they're inferior for believing what they do. This helps to thicken up the skin and assert dominance.

Soon you'll realize that it doesn't matter what you think of xxxx. It doesn't matter what they just said or what you're about to say, as long as what you say brings you closer to your immediate goal. In this instance, your immediate goal is to make this person question their beliefs and submit to you.

 

[Docs]

You ponder why they hate them, ask questions, dont' defend nor push forward. If they bring up something valid like she's a *****, ask why.

You learn a lot by listening to the useful things, even if you think you love them.

---

Oh, and about looking like an idiot..you need to give a example to base that on. But you have to look like an idiot (or stand out) when you gotta feel like it. Noone likes the slient type.

 

[BrotherAP]

Originally posted by Docs
Noone likes the slient type.

I prefer the silent type to the loud and obnoxious one

 

[Docs]

Ok..slight overstatement.

You have to be known to exist...there!

 

[BrotherAP]

A big eye opener to me on just how much of an arrogant prick you can be and still have people like you I got from reading the stories off

www.tuckermax.com

Just as an experiment, both my and my wing tried acting like Tucker Max, and we were both surprised at the reaction - we actually made some friends, and they totally kissed our asses, bought us booze to bribe us to come over, and were constantly asking us if we liked things befor expressing their own approval.

It's not how I usually act, but it improved my personality to cross a line I was afraid to before, and now I know when to agree and when not to.

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

Originally posted by Docs
You ponder why they hate them, ask questions, dont' defend nor push forward. If they bring up something valid like she's a *****, ask why.

You learn a lot by listening to the useful things, even if you think you love them.

---

Oh, and about looking like an idiot..you need to give a example to base that on. But you have to look like an idiot (or stand out) when you gotta feel like it. Noone likes the slient type.

Ok maybe not look like an idiot, but care what other people think. So for an example if I give the impression in class that I have interest in a girl by asking her for her phone number I am too worried about everyone listening to me ask her. Or maybe if I **** up I might look like an idiot infront of the class.

I have no problem speaking to women, I guess it's when I do it infront of many people who might hear and see me doing it. Anything for that matter I might care what people think about what I am doing.

I am not really silent, I talk when I want. So it's not really a problem of being a quiet person.

 

[BrotherAP]

Originally posted by SoonToBeDJ
Ok maybe not look like an idiot, but care what other people think. So for an example if I give the impression in class that I have interest in a girl by asking her for her phone number I am too worried about everyone listening to me ask her. Or maybe if I **** up I might look like an idiot infront of the class.

I have no problem speaking to women, I guess it's when I do it infront of many people who might hear and see me doing it. Anything for that matter I might care what people think about what I am doing.

I am not really silent, I talk when I want. So it's not really a problem of being a quiet person.

You have low confidence - clearly, or you wouldn't be concerned about 'looking like an idiot'

What helped me build my confidence was an understanding that people like a person with high confidence - so being reserved because I was afraid of looking like an idiot made me look bad.

Stop trying not to look like an idiot - you're making yourself look bad!

I'd venture a guess - if I dared you to go out wearing a silly hat, you'd be too nervous to do it, right?

 

[Docs]

Ok maybe not look like an idiot, but care what other people think. So for an example if I give the impression in class that I have interest in a girl by asking her for her phone number I am too worried about everyone listening to me ask her. Or maybe if I **** up I might look like an idiot infront of the class.

I have no problem speaking to women, I guess it's when I do it infront of many people who might hear and see me doing it. Anything for that matter I might care what people think about what I am doing.

I am not really silent, I talk when I want. So it's not really a problem of being a quiet person.

Buddy, for everything from this minute forward, you must be willing to shrug it off and go on like it never happened. So if you ask for that girl's number off the bat...that's a uh, no. NEVER do it just like that, unanticipated to her. That's setting up the no.

What you want to do...is fluff her up with flirting and talking to her. The number comes when you can pull the "I'll call you later to get a coffee so we can talk more" card.

Obvisously, I'm going to get flamed for that "Oh no you dummy, that's so AFC to ask for number that way, you do it like this..."

That's why you must be willing to shrug it off and keep going. You can't win every girl, and you use what works.

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

Originally posted by BrotherAP
You have low confidence - clearly, or you wouldn't be concerned about 'looking like an idiot'

What helped me build my confidence was an understanding that people like a person with high confidence - so being reserved because I was afraid of looking like an idiot made me look bad.

Stop trying not to look like an idiot - you're making yourself look bad!

I'd venture a guess - if I dared you to go out wearing a silly hat, you'd be too nervous to do it, right?

Low confidence can be a problem although I am working on that. I always try to be optimistic about things even though naturally I am a pessimist. Hopefully the optimistic part takes over sometime.

 

[SoonToBeDJ]

Originally posted by Docs
Buddy, for everything from this minute forward, you must be willing to shrug it off and go on like it never happened. So if you ask for that girl's number off the bat...that's a uh, no. NEVER do it just like that, unanticipated to her. That's setting up the no.

What you want to do...is fluff her up with flirting and talking to her. The number comes when you can pull the "I'll call you later to get a coffee so we can talk more" card.

Obvisously, I'm going to get flamed for that "Oh no you dummy, that's so AFC to ask for number that way, you do it like this..."

That's why you must be willing to shrug it off and keep going. You can't win every girl, and you use what works.

No, I know to definitley not ask for a number right off the bat, but that was just an example that I might have butchered.

 

[Docs]

All in stride.

Just take the bolded parts seriously alright, that's why they are bolded. The rest was...fluff I guess?

Poofy!