What makes you think you DESERVE her?

[matius]

What we must do is take all the negative aspects that we've focused on for so long, put them aside, and start focusing on the positive aspects of ourselves. This is the root of building one's self-esteem. When our self-esteem raises, we start holding our head up, we're able to look people in the eyes, we're able to speak up when we feel it is necessary, negative comments others throw at us will slide right off our back - and people WILL take notice.

For people who are quite positive, thinking "I am the great catch" will bring on continuous success. For people who are generally negative, thinking "I am a great catch" will result in initial success followed by ultimate failure.

Don't let this slip by you guys. Word up ^

Let me quickly explain why I think what Sting is saying is easier to accomplish than it sounds. Absolutely no reason to panic - Sting is correct in saying that you need to live life and be a solid person in all respects...but rather than say, 'you don't deserve her because you haven't accomplished anything' isn't right to me. It's how we treat each other that says if we are deserving. Anyway,

Don't be hollow, people will see through you in a beat. This is a massive hurdle to get over...but don't stress. It's not as bad as it sounds. I know many of you are movers and shakers here, but for the ones that haven't found what they are after in life- all you need is a train of thought. Figure out what you want and go after it. Once you come to this realization, then you can honestly say to yourself, 'I am a great catch.' Why? You might still live with your folks but you're moving, you're no longer a target.

You are making a practical effort in the real world. It's not easy but you're trying. The more you try, the more mistakes you can make. You start becoming stronger, you focus better, you try new ways to accomplish your goals, you start meeting people and making connections.

See, you're now dropping your fear, anxiety, paranoia, complexion, chips, suffering, depression, anger, confusion, hate, etc...These are all figments of your imagination. Created by past circumstances beyond your control. The weight bolted on to you by those circumstances. Let it go. It's not doing you any good and with the world we're living in today, wouldn't it suck to live out your short time with someone elses idea of YOU failing YOU every day. Does it make you feel good to know that someone has distorted your own view of yourself! What do you do?

You open up. Before you know it you're making progress and ARE becoming the man. You have things to do. You have places to go, people to see. People in your life don't know what to do. They become mesmerized by your transformation...insults don't bother you and girls notice your ambition. You have style and your attitude says I'm heading for success. That's it! You're now heading for success, no need to be successful, you WILL be and they can see it. Fake it till you make it ladies and gentlemen.

Fake it till you make it because you'll see that people will be delighted to help you on your journey when you OPEN YOURSELF UP to the possibilities. You may want everything and try really hard - but people know deep down when you're a mess and negative. They know you have a bad attitude and they're less willing to push you along. Have a true attitude, a true smile and true ambition and you can start moving forward. Before too long you'll be there - sooner than you think bro.

It doesn't take much to drop the heat. It just takes having a look outside of yourself for once and seeing what's going on. Get on a train of thought! Anything! And go after it.

Matius

 

[El brujo]

Originally posted by REDblueOI
I'm so arrogant, I'm arrogant about being arrogant.

No offence REDblue, but when I meet a guy that is too arrogant, I think: He'll never make it in his life... People don't like arrogant people. Be ****y, be funny, be jerky in a pleasing way, but never be too arrogant. It can turn itself against you.

Again, no offence

Greetz

 

[El brujo]

Wow matius,

we're not only learning to be a DJ on this site, but the younger ones allso get life-lessons from guys like you. Keep up the work, it helps insecure people.

Greetz

 

[REDblueOI]

Originally posted by El brujo
No offence REDblue, but when I meet a guy that is too arrogant, I think: He'll never make it in his life... People don't like arrogant people. Be ****y, be funny, be jerky in a pleasing way, but never be too arrogant. It can turn itself against you.

Again, no offence

Greetz

Its done me nothing but good since I've been this way. The economy in buffalo is ****ty, its hard to get a job, especially for kids with little work experience. But me? I walked into a womans clothing store and TOLD THE MANIGER SHE SHOULD HIRE ME. It took me 30 seconds to walk in the store and secure a job where it would take anyone who didn' thave the balls to do what I did weeks of filling out applications in multiple stores, hoping someone had an opening.

I take for grantid that women think I'm a sexy beast, and I can talk to them about anything. A woman recently was talking about being "artsie." In response I began talking about bodypaint, needless to say she threw her # @ me she was so wet. I just ASSUMED she wanted my body, and the thought of her painting saucy designs on it is something she'd wanna do.

 

[El brujo]

If you think so, allright. But I think I misunderstood being arrogant. When people say in Belgium that you're arrogant, it means that you treat people like ****. That's what I mean. if you treat people like ****, they will be nice in your face coz they fear you, but no one can stand ya. that's how i feel about arrogance.

 

[Sting]

Many of the later replies to my post are correct -- you must be capable of showing value to a woman before she will submit to your charms. Confidence comes from knowing you have something valuable to offer in exchange for a woman's company, even if what you have to offer is simply a willingness to allow her to be in your company. Remember, you don't get something for nothing...

 

[EricS]

Man is a prize or a AFC take a pick

OK Sting, we're exchanging a man with a lot to offer with a womans company? What do you have to offer yourself. Good sex and good company is good when it's both people being satisfied. So what else is there besides just taking out a trophy. Seems you're the type to avoid because you're a taker, not a giver. You know there some women out there that encourages her man to succeed before he succeeds on his own. You know how easy for a beautiful woman, heck a plain Jane is to get sex. But that doesn't mean satisfaction in her mind and heart. A man that has as much as there is to offer plus being self-assured IS A PRIZE and is a prize for a good woman!!! So tell me why you're such a prize and please excuse beauty, sex and selfish money...

 

[Sting]

The purile and ad hominem attacks aside, I think my initial post has generated some interesting discussion on the issue of "value."

I recently read one of the more popular e-books on seduction, entitled "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You." In it, the author included the following discussion regarding perceived value in the context of initial attraction:

The "WIIFM" Principle of Love

"Hey, baby, everybody's got a market value! Everybody wears a price tag." How pretty is she? How much prestige does he have? How blue is her blood? How much power does he wield? Are they rich, intelligent, nice? What can they do for me?

Does this sound ugly? Researchers tell us love is not really blind. Everybody—even the nicest people—has a touch of crass when it comes to choosing a long-term partner. It's no different than in the business world where everybody asks, "WIIFM?" What's in it for me?

I can hear some of you protesting, "No, love is pure and compassionate. It involves caring, altruism, communion, and selflessness. That's what love is all about." Yes, that's what love is all about when good people are truly in love. You've probably even met couples who are deeply devoted and would sacrifice everything for each other. Yes, this kind of selfless love that we all dream of having exists. But it comes later—much later. It comes only after you've made your partner fall in love with you.

If you want to make someone fall in love with you, researchers say, you must initially convince them they're getting a good deal. We may not be conscious of it but, science tells us, tried and true market principles apply to love relationships. Lovers unconsciously calculate the other person's comparable worth, the cost-benefit ratio of the relationship, the hidden costs, the maintenance fee, and the assumed depreciation. Then they ask themselves, "Is this the best offer I can get?" Everybody has a big scorecard locked away in their heart. And, in order to make people fall in love with you, you have to make them feel they're getting a very good deal.

 

[jakethasnake]

Right on, Sting.


I wonder why some people just refuse to believe this. The DJ principles have been twisted around too much to fulfill the fragile egos of AFCs who can't come to terms with the fact that with their current state, they cannot bag attractive women with ease. They try to delude themselves into believing that women will drop on their knees if they cast some "magic spell" on them with their DJ Jedi-mind tricks. That will only work if you have something of value to them.


Are you ugly? Ok then -- work out a lot, grow a great body, then make lots and lots of social contacts. Be successful in work/what you do. Then there will be many, many women willing to overlook your mug b/c you offer them many other valuable traits.


Are you short? Then learn to accept it, stop taking yourself so seriously, and learn to crack jokes about yourself. This conveys confidence and a laid-back attitude that girls love. Get a great body, make money/status, and have a sense of humor to make up for your lack of height. There are women who will never accept your height, but more often than not its a reflection of their OWN personality and confidence faults. You're better off without girls like that.


So go out there and make yourself valuable in the eyes of women. WORK FOR IT. Mind-tricks won't work by themselves. You can't build relationships on seduction techniques. I think some of the guys around here (even the really experienced DJs) are really lame like that.

 

[Slashco]

Sting and jakethasnake,

Thanks for restoring my faith in these forums. It seems there are at least a few intelligent life-forms in here after all...

 

[El brujo]

Indeed, very nice posts. Sometimes I don't have any courage left when I had a bad day, and when I read mails such as these, I get freakin better.


Greetz

 

[Cuo]

i'm me and thats more than good enough for everyone i know

 

[Page]

I support the "I am the prize" mentality because that is how things are.

Someone has to be the prize, why shouldn't it be you? Some people submit, some get submitted to. Which category you are sorted into is up to you. it only makes sense to choose the best possible place for yourself.

You have to take everything in life for yourself, or else it gets taken from you and you are left with nothing.

Thinking you are the prize may be arrogance. Even if it is, then what of it? As long as you do not run away with it, arrogance is a good thing. You don't have to act like a pr!ck around others to think you are the great catch; you just have to know it and believe it yourself.

 

[es_mer8]

I think that this post is inspirational to me because it shows that people still have AFC-ism in them. First off, there is no reason in admitting you're good at something when you're not. No real DJ should go to a girl and proclaim he is a boxer because a real DJ can nab women on his own merits of what he presents to a girl first off: good body, great confidence, and dresses well.

What Sting is implying here is that most DJs BS about the prize. To me, there is a clear cut difference between lying to a girl and thinking you are the ****. Lying is never is good if its something like boxing. People say 'Fake It to Make It' but thats a shoddy reasoning process too. I think real DJs shouldn't have to rely on past experiences to prove themselves. Like me. I'm not going to BS and claim I banged three girls before when I have not. She'll think you're good but when you get into bed and realize you're utter ****, she'll be wondering if you're lying about other things too. A lack of trust is a sure-fail.

To me, you got some prize to claim. As for me, I nearly broke the school record for bench a couple years ago and while its down from then, I still have enough strength to prove that I was once able to acheive that. However when I talk to girls, I'll never talk about it unless she specifically asks me about it. If not that, its the fact that I amassed 35 college credits while in HS. An impressive feat but its also true. If you have nothing, work on something. I believe a human is capable of doing at least one thing good. If not, then you're probably an AFC just trying to pretend to be a DJ.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

I think the problem is too many people see themselves as the 'prize', but in reality, have nothing to offer.

You can be arrogant, tell your employer to go f*ck himself with the annual financial report (or tell HR what you think of their latest scheme), but it won't earn you any promotions.

Theres a huge difference between confidence and arrogance.


Redblue: I'd like to see how you said it to the clothing store manager. Did you say "Hey b*tch, hire me because...I'm the best!"?

Try saying it to a 40-year-old corporate executive, and see what his reaction is. In fact, make it known to your co-workers. I can assure you they're not going to have the same feelings as a women in charge of a small local clothing store.