What makes you happy?

[thissean]

I'm asking you guys to give me your answer, because I'm looking for mine. What makes me happy? Is it the people around me? My long or short term goals? Do I want to travel, or stay in my hometown and grow my roots? Do I need a significant other in my life to be happy, or can I be happy on my own. What do I really really want out of life, what do I, as Sean, need to be more than content?

If you had one thing taken away from you in your life, could you still be happy? If it was your job, for example, could you still be happy? Or your girlfriend, could you be happy with just who you are? Or your friends, or your goals or anything really...There's a lot of things that are out of our control, and it seems silly to stress over, but I cannot help it. The only thing that I can really control in my life fully is how I act or react to the events in my life. How can I put myself in a position where I can be in control of my own happiness? tomorrow I could be hit by a car, and can no longer do jiujitsu, or workout even. I can lose my sight and not be able to see my friends physically anymore.

I look at where I am now, and who is around me, and who is supporting me, I can say that I have a lot. Most people are lucky if they can go to college without worry about finance, and I am lucky enough to have parents care enough to support my education. I'm lucky to have friends that care for my well-being, and my feelings. I'm lucky enough to be able to do the hobbies that I enjoy. If any of these were taken from me, would I still be happy? Is it one of those things where you don't really know what you have until its gone?

I'm newly single, and in a way it's a good thing and a bad thing. I'm very grateful I can still talk to her if I really need to. And the time to myself is very nice, because I can really focus on myself and do what I feel that I need to do. But because we've been together for so long (3 years), and been through a lot it's been hard for me to get along by myself. Its as though I have forgotten how to be happy by myself. And I think that it's one of the things that I need to learn. I can't live a life around anyone else, but myself, because you never know what will happen. You can live with people around you, but you cannot make them the center of your plans, because what if one day they aren't there? People have their own agendas to attend to.

I guess this is the biggest reason why I ask this, because I am trying to find what do I really want out of myself. What are my long term goals, short term goals, what do I want to look like, what do I want to be...And I really want to know what other people have to say, what do you have that is special to you, and if it was gone, could you still be happy?

 

[jdon23]

My friend, since you have lost your "other half" you seem to be questioning your existence. You built up this person so much in your reality, that you feel as if she is a part of you. You feel that if she isn't in your future you cannot possible be happy, as she was the main source of your happiness.

You should NEVER let something or someone have the power of CONTROLLING your happiness. You need to realize that the only person to make you happy is YOURSELF.



One of my teachers gave me some advice during a hard time in my life, and it has always stuck to me, even to this day. He told me this...

"People want you to fail. They will laugh at you and be happy when you don't succeed. You have to learn to be your OWN best friend. YOU need to be the support line for yourself. You need to be in control of your own happiness."

It's sad, but its true. And i'm a stronger person for listening to his advice. I don't need anyone's approval in order to feel validated. I couldn't care less what people think of me. I know where i'm going in life and i'm happy because of this.

You need to build a deep connection with yourself, and be content with what you find. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks of you. Stop worrying about what makes other people happy. You need to focus your energy on furthering yourself and becoming a better individual.

Once you are content with yourself, and what you want from yourself, you will not "need" any kind of attachment to feel happy.

You need to believe that YOU are a unique individual and people need to EARN the right to spend time with you. Hot women, good friends, are just a bonus in your life. You don't NEED them. People and things DONT define you! This is why the rich man always seeks happiness in material objects and is never happy.

 

[chinwaggler]

Everything should make you happy. If you are a don you should be on top of every aspect of your life.

All these things make me happy:
Education
Sport
Health
Friends

The only thing that could make me happier is women which is why I'm on this site

 

[JohnChap]

Ah, a challenging one ...

Here goes ...

Women


boy, that was exhausting!

 

[bigjohnson]

I'm just a happy guy, I've invested a lot into myself and I'm just happy. Could I be made unhappy? Probably if someone with the resources and determination to back it up decided to take my life apart Monte Cristo style but then I really doubt my happiness has drawn that sort of ire from anyone with that level of resources.