what makes a man a man?

[TonyBaloney]

Warrior man,

I know how you feel.

I posted the other day my thoughts on how bored i was, but in no way was even able to articulate it as well as you. I have kinda even lost the will to write for long periods of time, i just get so easily bored and distracted.

I know how it feels~we're at a funny age. At least u got a couple of years on your side - i just turned 39. I work in an occupation (landscping and tree work) that is very physically draining, and i'm bored and tired of it, and i know at some point i want to start a new enterprise, but i cannot for the life of me find out what.......

I been looking for about 5 years, but have had the distraction of a BPD, who sucked almost every ounce of life energy out of me - i've been slowly recovering for the last 7 months, spinning plates and spending time thinking, trying to hatch a plan. As of yet, i'm still feeling down in hole, but something (i hope) will turn up. I regrettably do not have kids -thank your lucky stars that you will have your daughter to unconditionally love you forever.......

 

[guru1000]

by all standards...I honestly have no right to call myself a man. This last year has proven that without a doubt. If I wasn't a coward, I'd just kill myself and get it over with.

If our fathers are the measure of a man, then I am not. I'm not half the man my father or brother is.

I don't care what feminist say, I don't care what women say. I really don't care what you guys say. None of it really puts food on my table. And neither do I apparently. I see a lot of the outrage about feminism as a smoke screen for a lot of people. People who are deeply unhappy with their own lives. Don't get me wrong, many have valid points, but from where I stand it's just of no concern to my every day life. What another man does or what a feminist does doesn't matter one way or another.

And yah I learned a lot BB. But mainly I've learned that I dream too much and act to little. I've had a bad run the last few months and nothing is going right. I give up. I'll be taking a job at krsytals or some other BS job and moving to some ****ty neighborhood and trying to figure out how to trick myself in to suicide without noticing it.

My friends are kinder than they should be, and honestly I'm tired of leaning on them. My problem is me. Not anyone else. I wish I could change, but at this point in life, it's obvious that I can't. I'm a lazy, entitled selfish godless man child who is pretty much worthless. The worst part, is knowing it and not being able to do anything about it. I give up. **** being a man, or human for that matter. In every game you have winners and losers and I'm not a winner. That's just life.

Women aren't that complicated, at least not for me. I have never really had a problem getting laid. I've probably slept with about 60 or so women. Some good looking, some not, some fat, some skinny, some broke, some well off. It's never been a problem. I could probably get laid today if I tried. If I wanted a wife and kids, I could have that. If you know how to bull**** and know that for the most part women are bull**** and steel then you got that on lock. Bull**** gets em, having steel keeps them or runs them off. You win some, you lose some. It's an easy ****ing game to play. I always felt sad for the guys who couldn't get that.

I might be depressed, I know that I am, but honestly, I'm just tired. Dead ****ing tired. Pretty much ready for it all to just be over. I'm done blaming anyone else for my problems. My parents, or my childhood, or my ex. At the end of the day, I'm the ****ing problem. And I can't solve that problem. I've tried everything I could think of for years and it's always one step forward and two steps back. I give up. Everyone, my family, my daughter, my friends, they deserve better than I can give. I understand now the whole "going out for a pack of smokes" and never coming back thing. If we lived in a world where that was still possible I'd do it tomorrow.

These, my brother, are the moments that define who you are. Do you transcend your circumstance or do you subordinate to your barren lot and remain silenced in perpetuity? What kind of substance are you? Me...I'd choose death before surrender.

 

[BlueShift]

Warrior. I run a film production company that I started from scratch years ago, after catching my girlfriend in bed with another man and getting expelled from college and evicted from the student accommodation.

I became cheated on, single, out of education, and homeless in one day, and I wasn't working at the time.

Believe me buddy, you just need that one fvcking spark left and I bet you've got it.

You feel that spark among all the **** that's happening in your life. This spark is what you are passionate about, what you want to do with your life, what drives you to get up in the morning, to work longer hours to finance your dream and what you want to leave behind in your legacy.

My dream is film production and graphic art businesses. But believe me, just finding somewhere to start to achieving your passions takes so much out of you. You've proceeded so far and done what so many men won't attempt in their life. Don't walk away from what you love. A man fights for his dream, no matter how many times he gets a$$-fvcked by life. Keep swinging Warrior. I'm writing this as much for myself as I am for you. When the definite moment in my life hits me, I hope to god I fight my way through it tooth and nail.