What lifes about

[DJUofS]

This post really hit the nail on the head. About a year ago I felt the exact same way... and I eventually landed a girlfriend. Was I happy? Absolutely! Did it last? Absolutely not.

Today I am happier than can be. Why? Do I have a girlfriend right now? Nope. Have I had sex in the past month? Nope. Do I care? Nope. Why, you might ask... Because I have found activities which I love. Lifting weights, going for runs, playing poker, and Mathematics (my major at college). All of these activities I strive to be the best at.

Once you find something you love, don't let anyone pressure you into stopping. Who cares what they think, you take your passion and become the best you can at it.

A year ago I searched for a girlfriend for months and got one. Now, I am pursuing what I want and can easily get a girlfriend tomorrow just from my interests and passions. People always come to this forum asking about IL and such. It's not needed! If you do what you love, you will meet women who have the same interests as you. This will create a natural attraction. So get out there and do something you absolutely love to do.

 

[HuangBei]

Oh my god, I can't agree with you more my friend. (I think Pook's "BE a MAN" post has really helped a lot of us find meaning, or regain the meaning we had) Every real man, must find his passion and live for nothing more. Women don't mean a goddamn thing in comparison to that. I must confess, I sadden as I think of my dad. His real dream/passion was to travel around the world studying anthropology, and different tribal cultures. But the woman he loved, my mom, held him back from that.

She told him that she didn't want to be dragged around the world, and that a good life is one that is settled. The problem with that woman (my mom) [and I'm speaking about this from an outside perspective] is that she's really good at fooling people into thinking their wrong. I call it "snake" technique. She mesmerizes someone into thinking something with deep philosophy, philosophy of ethic, large vocabulary words, and a bunch of her own inflated egotistical emotions. I know because I deal with it all the time.

She held him back from his dream, and now when I ask him what his dream was he says, "Well, to have a financially stable family for one," And I immediately reply, "No dad, your real dream," he says, "Well, to raise children that have strong moral and ethical values...". I sigh at this. He was not a DJ, and he had little to no experience with women. He didn't get laid before marriage, and I don't even know if he had kissed a girl before college. So he didn't really know. Now some of you might say, "How can you talk about your mom that way, she had you."

You're right, she did. If he was a DJ, he probably wouldn't have ever looked my mom's way, and I might not have been born. If you believe in reincarnation, I might have been born a tiger, or a little Chinese female *****. Anyway, that's not important. My dad is not the man that he could have become because of a woman, despite the children he's had. I don't intend to make the same mistakes my father made, so what you and Pook have said have really hit home.

Thanks a lot guys.

 

[NewMan]

there is only one answer.

You are here right now - and you could be off this planet at a moment in time.

Do not kid yourself that you are indistructable - or that you will live a long, happy life.

The fact is, you should wake up every morning and live that day to it's fullest. Anything else is a waste.

Don't regret the things you did - regret the things you didn't do.

Every day there are new opportunities, new experiences - grab them with both hands.

Happiness is a state of mind.

don't ever covert the things someone else has.

Don't envy.

Don't be jealous.

You have your own key - listen to your heart.

Your destiney is your own - you control it - don't give it to anyone else (especially a chick).

 

[gringocowboy]

Once again, this is an amazing post. Bible material for sure.

 

[Julius_Caesar]

Hi. Since everybody is contributing so well and so profoundly I feel that I should say my piece too.

Life is consciousness. And consciousness is all about a choice. Speaking from experience, and I am sure others would concur, I have noticed that we all create our own worlds in our heads. As our perceptions change so to, magically, does the world. One moment in our life can change it forever. We learn one new thing, and then BAM the world looks different. The things in the world don't really change, but it seems different. Its like suddenly we begin to focus more on where we are. We see that present moment very clearly. At that moment we have the power over our selves that we always crave.

AT THAT MOMENT WE HAVE A CHOICE. But that strong reaction often fades rapidly, as the old mode of consciousness comes in. Habit is the straw that breaks almost everyones back. Habit is so strange because most of the time the action or thought or feeling doesn't ever get noticed, its almost UNCONSCIOUS. That my friends is the rub. The past, the future, try to dictate to your mind and thus to YOU your behaviour. When the world can do that YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. If there is one thing that I constantly remind myself of is that everything is about a choice. Everything you experience in life can be a choice. You don't have to suffer. Realize that suffering is a choice. realize that that new guitar won't make YOU happy. You can thou. Just by exsisting.

I will use an example from my history. I was very unhappy since very recently relating to the turmoil caused by my brothers autism. I rebelled against my parents, and I closed myself off from people, completely. I withdrew into my own world. which soon became fill of complex problems and mental abstractions, constant boredom, and repressed pain. Needless to say I was unhappy so my world in turn became very threatening and pessimistic. But the one good thing was that all that alone time shifted my focus from the world to myself. I became introspective. I had always been cut off from the world, but now I knew that if I couldn't fix the world I had to fix me. The world sucked but then one day, my family and I went up to tahoe. There I was able to sit alone on the lake at night and look up at the moon. I was thinking about the purpose of life and BAM. I hit the jack pot, all on my own: I realized that life is only what you make it. Essentially I realized that I had a choice. And LIFE IS choice. God doesn't make your life. Fate doesn't make your life. You take responsiblity, you be your life. Don't blame your pain on the world, or the past, or the future. YOU make the pain and only you can stop it. That is enlightenment.

There is my much more than two cents

 

[karusel]

Very interesting stuff.

I'm reading a book right now. It's called 'The psychology of persuasion'. Right at the begining there is a chapter that instructs the reader to quote specific goals in life, timelines, deadlines, and so on, pretty detailed. WTF is this doing in a book that should teach you persuasion? Moments later I had a miniature revelation as I realized, that unless you know who you are, where you are and where you're going you will have tremendous trouble persuading even the most naive blonde bimbos. Also you would have trouble getting up early, because you would not have everything to look forward to you would have trouble keeping or even making a smile and so on and so on. Yeah, if that was not obvious enough: 'persuading' a girl, that you're a great catch. If you're confused and aimless you're a bum. And bums aren't exactly what we'd call alpha. Without aim you as a man are as desirable as roadkill is to a vegetarian pacifist greenpeace f-male activist allergic to blood.

I am also yet to read a book 'Man's Search for Ultimate Meaning' by Viktor E. Frankl, which will undoubtfully clear some clouds. I would recommend you to read some books as the forum talk sometimes just isn't persuasive enough. For some odd and unknown reason.

 

[Doctorsuave]

1200+ Views... Wow.

Wow, I haven't been on here for awhile but apparently this one Thread has been hit quite a few times.

I just wanted to say thanks for the compliments and everything that everyone has written on this thread was very inspirational not only to me, but others who viewed it too.

Thank you for listening,

Brian

 

[zentraveller]

Awesome thread. Especially for a guy who just turned 30 and is becoming a bit more "contemplative". Thanks guys.

 

[shrewd]

bump!