What I've learned from being out of the game for over 2 years (rant)

[mrskinnypantz]

It's been over 2 years since I've had a real date or even asked a woman out. From 2017 through the first half of 2019 I was having nothing but bad experiences that were ruining my self esteem and it was getting to the point where it was having an affect on my mental health and overall well being.

I was originally only going for women that I found very attractive, which resulted in nothing. I reflected upon this and decided to consider going for women I was not attracted to, believing that I'd have better results. I was mistaken and found the experiences demoralizing and insulting. "Why is a white man that is 6'4" and jacked getting rejected by some fat chick" were repetitive thoughts lol. I tried speed dating, which was an abysmal experience that left me feeling even worse. I tried tinder and OLD, had a couple "matches" with women that weighed as much as I did lol. I was running solo and approaching average women at bars and they would just stare at me with a blank expression, even tried this with a couple overweight women and they stuck their noses in the air at me lol. I had a few times where other people would point out a very obese women and tell me that was my league and I was totally blown away by it. My response was "Why would a man who is 6'4" and one of the fittest guys at the gym date that?".

To add to this, I was meeting tons of attention *****s and getting a handful of first dates that led to absolutely NOTHING for me. I was having other men who in reality couldn't compare to me criticize things about me, it was as if everything in the universe was out to ruin me lol.

All of these things were starting to seriously affect my self esteem to the point I was questioning literally everything about my existence. I eventually got to the point where I totally accepted that I needed to step away from this for my own sake.

I stepped away and spent the next couple years working towards other amazing things. I now have an investment portfolio that is well within the 6 figure range and I'm quickly accroaching on millionaire status and get enough in monthly dividends to cover the cost of an average apartment in my area. I live in a home in a very nice area of town. I'm in the best shape ever and at a ridiculous level with that, for instance I'm life time drug free and at 6'4" and 240 I'm able to do 10+ reps on dips with an extra 70 pounds around my waist. I could go on with various feats but that is a more recent personal record.

What I learned is that you can't base your happiness and sense of self off of the opinions and input of other people. When you have a lot going for you it makes others very insecure and they seek to bring you down a notch as a control mechanism, this goes for both women and other men. The solution is to identify toxic losers in your life and then cut them out entirely. You don't lower your standards or try to fit in with people that are at a different level than you. You don't become a poser on instagram and pretend to be something you are not by creating a false public image nor do you seek the approval of other people. You associate with people that are on your level and if you can't find them then you accept that you will be alone and continue to improve.

I used to think I was the only one who thinks this way, it’s cool to see there are others like me.
I’ve been hated on all my life even from my own “family members”
Ppl get jealous because your hair is cool, you’re skinny, you’re funny, the color of your skin,you dress cool ,you have a hot or even semi-hot gf . I found out that having all of these things going for me made me a target for jealous ,frustrated single losers.
You’re 6’4 ! That right there makes other men extremely jealous! And haters gon hate brahh

ppl talk about female nature but we don’t talk about male nature nearly as much , which is jealousy and murder.
Males hate to see other males succeed or have a hot girlfriend ,They orbit around your wife or ltr like hungry wolves , feeding her self-esteem and curiosity . They will even try to disrespect in front her to ruin your home, and even fight you for your own gf. They will tell her she can do so much better. As a man we have to keep our guard up constantly. We are in a competition .
As far as male nature goes , stay dangerous and always stand your ground brotha.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I used to think I was the only one who thinks this way, it’s cool to see there are others like me.
I’ve been hated on all my life even from my own “family members”
Ppl get jealous because your hair is cool, you’re skinny, you’re funny, the color of your skin,you dress cool ,you have a hot or even semi-hot gf . I found out that having all of these things going for me made me a target for jealous ,frustrated single losers.
You’re 6’4 ! That right there makes other men extremely jealous! And haters gon hate brahh

It depends on the people you surround your self with.. I never had people like this around me. Most of my friends and family members support me and are I do the same to them.

"If you help other people to succeed then you will never have to worry about your own" is sort of the mantra in my social circle.

You need to be very careful with the people you choose to connect with because in the end of the day you will become like them.

ppl talk about female nature but we don’t talk about male nature nearly as much , which is jealousy and murder.

Actually I beg the difference as we men are conquerors and competitors. We conquer our worlds and co-operate in many cases with other men to get there. Competition will always be there of course, but that is the force that pushes you forward to become a better man. Jealousy and murder is for the petty and little man that cannot/or will develop his own abilities and it is not the default of our nature. It called you being a sloth and taking shortcuts. You chose what drives you and your moral should guide you in right direction. In the end it is down to your choices. You chose to be jealous, not the world around you. You chose to commit murder, so the fault is yours, not the world. That isn't equal to male nature and doesn't make all men like that.

 

[eli77]

As I've mentioned, I've been out of the game for over 2 years now, so I haven't put any amount of effort into this....I don't have to explain why that would result in getting 0 dates lol.

Now that I look back on that stretch of time I was talking about, where I was putting in a lot of effort into trying to meet women, I feel I perhaps was trying too hard and putting a lot of pressure on myself. I have much more going on in my life now than I did back then, I'm definitely more confident in myself now and at the time that represented a period where I was just starting to become social. In my teens through my early to mid 20s I had virtually no social life and by most standards could be classified as a recluse. I can look back and definitely say I was a bit awkward compared to now, so perhaps this was being picked up on by women and other people.

I also feel that there are a combination of various factors at play. Some other things I feel were simply related to bad luck/meeting the wrong women, I had a few specific cases I could elaborate on that were pretty bat**** crazy.

For instance, in 2017 I met one that was a huge attention *****, ultimately led to nothing, and 6 months later I found out this woman was a politically active communist in my area. There were videos of her in the news, plus she had a youtube channel and a facebook page dedicated to this stuff, it was actually pretty shocking and when I saw this I immediately realized that the universe had saved me from a bullet. I've had others but this one was definitely more unique in comparison.

Some other issues relate to the demographics of my area, the mid 20s-30s dating scene is not exactly the best. A lot of women in my area have also expressed that they don't date white men, this is something that I've heard other people discuss but based upon some of my experiences I feel there may be truth to this.

If I was to actually put effort in right now I feel I would be in a much better place. I don't think I'd put so much pressure on myself to succeed, which is a trait I've always had that has at times proven to be problematic in that I burn myself out emotionally. With some of the experiences I've had, I'd be able to spot red flags much easier and would be able to emotionally move on right then and there, where as before I overlooked these signs far too regularly and burned myself. With all the stuff I have going on right now, I don't think I'd tolerate a whole lot and would quickly next a lot of women. My current mental state I'd honestly say is now in a place of being scarce on time and energy, where as before I was in a place of emotional scarcity. That's why I stated earlier that I feel I used to base my happiness and sense of self from other people, whereas now it's based off of validation I get from my own accomplishments, etc.

ive been there you good trust me

 

[mrskinnypantz]

It depends on the people you surround your self with.. I never had people like this around me. Most of my friends and family members support me and are I do the same to them.

"If you help other people to succeed then you will never have to worry about your own" is sort of the mantra in my social circle.

You need to be very careful with the people you choose to connect with because in the end of the day you will become like them.

I’m just trying to motivate him to keep his head up around the haters because they really hate that.
he already knows to distance himself from people who wanna see him fail.

Actually I beg the difference as we men are conquerors and competitors. We conquer our worlds and co-operate in many cases with other men to get there. Competition will always be there of course, but that is the force that pushes you forward to become a better man. Jealousy and murder is for the petty and little man that cannot/or will develop his own abilities and it is not the default of our nature. It called you being a sloth and taking shortcuts. You chose what drives you and your moral should guide you in right direction. In the end it is down to your choices. You chose to be jealous, not the world around you. You chose to commit murder, so the fault is yours, not the world. That isn't equal to male nature and doesn't make all men like that.

I Never said it was the worlds fault, I said it’s male nature for men to get jealous of other men. I may have took it overboard with the murder rant.
I can go off on a rant from time to time.

 

[derby1]

Unless you are a celebrity, women are not going to “swoon” over you the way men swoon over hot women (unless you are in an environment or social circle where women significantly outnumber men). That’s just not how things work in real life. Even if you’re a very good looking guy, you will have to do a bit work to get laid.

For sure, the reason I say this is because there seems to be some internet belief from guys under 6ft that guys over 6ft are knee deep in the fruit.

this couldnt be further from the truth, women D.G.A.F about men. weve totally devalued ourselves