what is wrong with me

[jon3947]

I was wondering if you guys could give me any advice.
I am a freshman at a very large school. I am about 5'5" and i weigh about 145.I seem to be one of the more (I hate to use this word) popular kids but i cant really get the girls. I am very social and and i think i have a reputation as one of the nicest guys at my school. I know almost all of the freshmen and alot of the sophomores. I can also become friends with almost anyone
I am smarter than average, and i skipped a grade of math. I also have a very built body with pecs that you can see with a shirt on. However i wear hearing aids and i have scoliosis(spine curvature) so i have to wear a brace. people dont seem to notice it and they seem to not think of them when i am talking to them. I tried out for the baseball and the basketball teams and i got cut from both of them even though i think i was definetly good enough to make the baseball team.
I am comfortable talking with girls however i havent had a gf or a kiss yet.
However there are some very hot girls who i have caught staring at me for a prolonged period of time. and i also hear from guys that several girls have a crush on me, including a very hot junior. I can use negs and i think i would be a great bf for them, but i dont know how to "seduce" them

These are my problems
-I don't get invited to parties often
-I cant get the girls
-I seem to be a sociophobe, i dont have my friends over to my house often, however i talk with them in school often and i dont have many numbers on my cell phone.
-I used to have a reputation for being ****y, but last year i have tried my best to get rid of it, being as humble as possible for the past year and i seemed to have gotten rid of it, but im not sure.
-There are several guys who are trying to bring me down, they insult me and they hurt my reputation.


please help me

 

[SinJester]

-I seem to be one of the more (I hate to use this word) popular kids
-I know almost all of the freshmen and alot of the sophomores.
-I can also become friends with almost anyone
-I am smarter than average, and i skipped a grade of math.
-I also have a very built body with pecs that you can see with a shirt on.

Look at all your strenths. Come on forget anything negative, whats going for you is pretty damn solid. There's a lot of guys who want and would be grateful for that.

The only think stopping you getting a girl is experiance and perhaps some limiting beliefs. Do you think you are worthy to have a girlfriend? Do you know what to do around girls? Are you friends with girls? Do you have a one-itus?

If a girl likes you YOU DON'T HAVE TO SEDUCE HER. She is already seduced. Ask her out, hang out with her, whatever she already likes you.

If you want to get invited to parties start going to them and make friends with all the party crowd.

I don't see how you can be the nicest guy in school and yet have a rep for being ****y? If you read the DJ bible you should know being nice doesn't always get the girl.

Eveyone has several guys trying to bring them down. It's jealousy. Just ignore them and don't let them effect you.

Anyway I can't really see that you have any problems. Just hang out with girls and get experiance with them. 'Negs' are just a technique, a very small piece of the puzzle. What you need is experiance.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo JON3947,


I usually don't get time to post here in this forum, but I felt like I had to MAKE time for this one. So listen up, soldier:


There once was an "old" sitcom show called Seinfeld (not sure if you ever watched it...). But ON that show there was a character called "George". George was a socially inept, sad-sack, guy who was "unlucky" with women AND with life in general.

Well on one particular episode, George decided that since EVERYTHING he did, and everything he said, and every way he "thought" about life NEVER worked for him-------he decided that for a BIG CHANGE, he would do the complete OPPOSITE of everything he would normally do, say, or think.

During that episode, by following his new "Do the OPPOSITE" masterplan, he succeeded in EVERY area that he focused on. Can't remember exactly what that episode was called, but I'm sure SOMEBODY does------and can recommend it to you specifically, but the main point is that I think that this is exactly what YOU should do.

Yes, it could very well be that the answers to all of your problems are hidden within the list that you have created. You said:

These are my problems
-I don't get invited to parties often

ANSWER: Save your money, hit up your parents, or whatever-----and "YOU" give a big party and "YOU" pick all the coolest guys and "Finest Chicks" to INVITE. By hosting your own COOL party, you will immediately improve your status among your schoolmates----"if" you do it right, and it is a big success.

-I cant get the girls

Answer: Start picking girls that you are interested in as MORE than friends. THEN, as you talk to those girls, STOP focusing so much on being a "nice guy", and start focusing more on being a "fun and sexy guy". You can do this by teasing them a little and using your charm to subtley let them know that you find them attractive by giving off sexual energy whenever you're around them.

For examples of guys who give off a strong sexual vibe to women-----check out movies starring old school actors like Denzel Washington, Colin Farrell, Brad Pitt, and especially George Clooney and even old Cary Grant movies (especially one called HIS GIRL FRIDAY). All of these guys are considered by most women to radiate fun ****iness, a cool confidence, and a strong sexual vibe.

-I seem to be a sociophobe, i dont have my friends over to my house often, however i talk with them in school often and i dont have many numbers on my cell phone.

Answer: In order to get a friend, you have to BE a friend. Focus on cultivating friendships with guys and (some) girls that you already have stuff in common with. And then, start cultivating friendships with people who you WANT to have something in common with. You do this by genuinely making THEIR interests and hobbies your own. Pick up new hobbies, and join, or better yet "START" new clubs or "cool" group activities.

The important thing in this is to stay true to yourself and who you are at your CORE. It's great to do new things, just make sure those thing are not in conflict with your most important inner beliefs. But other than that, YES-----please continue to broaden your overall interests.

-I used to have a reputation for being ****y, but last year i have tried my best to get rid of it, being as humble as possible for the past year and i seemed to have gotten rid of it, but im not sure.

Answer: There is a difference between being ****y in the OBNOXIOUS sense, and having a strong personality that you "share" with other people while still treating them respectfully. Focus on bringing people "IN" with your humor or ****iness as opposed to only "pushing them away" with it. Learn to know when to lighten up and win people over with your sense of humor and your personality------and one way you do this is by focusing on leaving ALL your interactions with people on a "high note".

What THIS means is that you should try to leave people either smiling, laughing (WITH you and NOT "at you"), or intrigued (try to be a little mysterious ESPECIALLY WITH WOMEN whenever you leave their presence). Having an air of mystery usually eliminates boredom, and makes WOMEN want to see you again-----it keeps them interested.

-There are several guys who are trying to bring me down, they insult me and they hurt my reputation.

Answer: Try to avoid these guys as much as possible. But when you cannot, I suggest that you practice at home by coming up with as many "one-liners" and "smart-aleck put-downs" for THESE guys in particular that you can think of. And on those occasions when you can't ignore these guys, MAKE "them" the butt of jokes instead. But the most important thing you can do is remain perfectly calm, confident, and UNFAZED by anything that they say. YOUR mission is to just focus on being the best "you" that you can be. And don't clutter up your thought life with THESE suckers...you "feel" me???

You're just a young cat, dude. You have your whole life ahead of you. So I challenge you to commit to doing the EXACT opposite of the things you normally do that have NOT been working for you-------and do this for just ONE whole, school week and see if you begin to see some tangible improvements in your situation.

I believe that you WILL.

So get STARTED, soldier.

Much respect to YOU, and all the other brave young recruits in this High School Forum.

March on.

 

[jon3947]

thanks
i really appreaciate it

 

[SinJester]

Wow thanks for posting in the HS forum Victory, I think you really hit the nail on the head. Jon listen to him, he really knows his stuff.

That's funny I actually read a news article where one report took a PUA bootcamp and compared it to that episode of seinfield.

 

[Bonafide]

I can easily tell why you dont get girls.

You dont come off as an alpha type person...

you seem really 'beta' to me.


Sur, ok... your sociable...but you have all the freshman's in sophomores in your social circle? Why is that? Are you seeking the approval of everybody? Very beta if you ask me...and since everybody is in your social circle...your not a mystery...everybody knows you, nobody WANTS to know you. Your old news before you knew it. The girls probably just see you as a FRIEND...the nice guy...the b1tch... a girlfriend.



You say your popular, but nobody invites you to their parties? Doesn't sound so great bro. If people loved you so much wouldn't they crave for you to appear at their parties? Doesn't sound like they feel ya swagger much my man.