what is wrong with me lol

[the third eye]

okay so i have a great body and am pretty good looking, but im still a virgin. i have no problem attracting girls. what turns them off isnt necessarially that i say the wrong thing, but that most of the time i have nothing to say and nothing to do. thats my problem. i always have the intial attraction and then 100% of the time i get to watch it slowly slip away right in front of my eyes as the girl gets fed up with my inaction. sometimes they even try to escelate themselves and as if i forgot i was trying to get laid i automatically start acting like an ******* or blowing them off. its like im not even in control of my own ****ing actions because thats obviously counterproductive, my brain just WILL NOT think that way in the moment. Its like i make efforts to get laid, then when i get close i shut off from the world. when i get put under pressure or want to talk to someone, i block out all my thoughts and my mind blanks completely to where i cant think of anything to say. i notice this at work. if i want to talk to somebody, no matter who it is, i just have nothing to say to them. i always feel tired as well. not ever excited about anything. it pisses me off. my family could die and i wouldnt cry or freak out. i would probably just continue whatever it was i was doing unless i didnt want to do that thing, in which case i would use their death as an excuse to stop said activity.

 

[SeymourCake]

Stop jacking off. You'll see dramatic changes within a month.

 

[Fly By Night]

Starting off,

I highly doubt you would be unaffected if you loved ones died, so I don't think you should compare that to approaching a lady. I think you just get nervous, learn to talk to girls (normal conversation, not gaming) to get yourself more accustomed to creating conversation with them.

And is this problem with EVERYONE? Or just with women? Because if you can have can't have normal conversation with your bros then you should spend less time on this forum and spend more time outside. (not judging you or anything)

 

[the third eye]

Starting off,

I highly doubt you would be unaffected if you loved ones died, so I don't think you should compare that to approaching a lady. I think you just get nervous, learn to talk to girls (normal conversation, not gaming) to get yourself more accustomed to creating conversation with them.

And is this problem with EVERYONE? Or just with women? Because if you can have can't have normal conversation with your bros then you should spend less time on this forum and spend more time outside. (not judging you or anything)

yeah this is a problem with all people. i cant have a normal conversation with anyone or if i do it feels emotionless. also i jack off maybe 2 times a week. and i am outside all the time at work but even when i go outside to do other thigns i dont talk to people. i am barely ever on the computer and i dont watch tv. i feel strangely disconnected from all people. thats the thing though. i dont love my family. i could not talk to them for years and not have an urge to call them. when i was a kid and my mom got deployed for a year to iraq, i never missed her. i even forgot what she looked like and i never wanted to write back to her letters.

 

[Chamber36]

Have you tried a good dose of magic mushrooms?

 

[Atom Smasher]

The answer to your problem is small talk.

Go out and about and get used to chatting people up, male & female alike. Just ask them how they're doing and then make the decision to actually listen and care about them.

At first it will feel like acting but soon you will start to calibrate. It worked for me. I used to have similar issues. Don't just chat up women... Chat up people in general.

 

[the third eye]

The answer to your problem is small talk.

Go out and about and get used to chatting people up, male & female alike. Just ask them how they're doing and then make the decision to actually listen and care about them.

At first it will feel like acting but soon you will start to calibrate. It worked for me. I used to have similar issues. Don't just chat up women... Chat up people in general.

This is good advice thank! I think my new goal is to be confident that I can have a conversation with anybody I want, because right now I can't even think of anything to say to anyone most of the time

 

[youngmack]

You have a disorder called narcissistic personality disorder...look it up

 

[JPlaya]

I know how you feel man it sucks major donkey ass

 

[the third eye]

Sounds like classic symptoms of depression...the loss of interest and emotions and being tired a lot....

Now a doctor can give you mood altering drugs for that..or you can spend thousands of dollars on therapy...or you can read this post for free.

okay so i have a great body and am pretty good looking, but im still a virgin. i have no problem attracting girls.

You have an out of control ego and this is the root of your condition.

No doctor or self help book will explain this to you...and i only discovered it because I too was once depressed...like most people these days in the western world.

I thought about it, and luckily for me something clicked, and I realized what was causing my depression...It was me and my view of myself and my view of the world. Turns out I had a moment of enlightenment, like in zen meditation.

I didn't need therapy or pills. I was lucky, because that black period was over 10 years ago and ive been fine since. So i know what Im talking about.
Realize that you are not of any more value in the world, than a king on a throne or a bum on the street. Not just that but do not delude yourself to believe because you have "a great body" or any other material asset, like money, that you are of more value to the world or to women...your not. Sure material assets may cause initial attraction but a vacuous personality will soon repel people..and just because a guy has material assets does not "entitle " him to the world...which most idiots seem to think it should do..these are the guys who have all the money and still are unsatisfied in life. And if you think you are of higher value based on material things, even your own body, you will appear arrogant and boring to others and it repels people, except maybe for total gold diggers.

This is what I believe is the root of your problem.

Be more fvcking humble brother and realize i am your brother. Other wise i would not offer my assistance for nothing in return.
Get it.

i see what youre saying but i still dont get where youre going with it. i have a great body, but i have a ****ty personality. im trying to develop my personality but im not making any progress really. i want to at first but then i dont really know how or i suddenly feel like its not worth the effort.

i just looked up narcissustic personality disorder and found this list of symptoms.
Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation (i recognized this. its pretty frequent)
May take advantage of others to reach their own goal(i never take advantage of people. its not worth the effort, plus i dont know how)
Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents (i dont really see this, i never brag to people because i hardly ever talk)
Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance (i dont have fantasies)
Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others(this is nice but i never pursue this reinforcement, my parents ALWAYS give negative reinforcement)
Easily becomes jealous (yeah sometimes)
Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others (idk about this, i always tiptoe around other people and am very careful how the react to the things i do so im not sure about this one)
Obsessed with oneself (100%)
Mainly pursues selfish goals (100%)
Trouble keeping healthy relationships (100%)
Is easily hurt and rejected (not easily hurt because i dont allow myself to get hurt)
Sets unrealistic goals (i have no goals)
Wants "the best" of everything (kind of true)
Appears as tough-minded or unemotional (yes)

so idk if i have this disorder, ive considered it before but i think what i have is either low testosterone or social anxiety/depression. what i meant by i have no problem attracting girls is that i have no problem with the initial attraction. after that, it all goes downhill.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Whats happened to The Third Eye?

Man,

You've taken a step back in your evolution; things were progressing along nicely - you had started a progress log, and was learning through experience.

Have you looked at your general fitness level? Perhaps you do need an endorphin kick to give you that natural high. It may be worth checking to see if you do have any underlying problems with depression, just in case, but I really dnt think thats it. I think that you are naval gazing, like a lot of young bro's on here.

The trouble with this site is, you have wildly different opinions on a couple of basic, simple propositions - F ucking a girl, and relationshipping a girl. Both of these things are as individual as the persons doing them - there is no gold standard, as much as someone like, lets pick on bigneil, might say there is, and he's bloody well way off the mark being 42 and buying PUA literature, stuff that I have never read, nor will EVER read.

Have a look on my post The Head Buzz and tell me what you think - I am no genious, I sometimes have a stutter, dont have any stock jokes, I shi t, shower and shave like every body else on here - I think you gotta sometimes go back to basics and re simplify.

A few simple honest "stood the test of time" quotes ive always thought about are = nothing ventured nothing gained = throw enough mud at the wall and some of it sticks = He who works for nowt, and she who f ucks for nowt, will never be out of work.......... Have a little think and tell me if i'm making any sense........

 

[the third eye]

Man,

You've taken a step back in your evolution; things were progressing along nicely - you had started a progress log, and was learning through experience.

Have you looked at your general fitness level? Perhaps you do need an endorphin kick to give you that natural high. It may be worth checking to see if you do have any underlying problems with depression, just in case, but I really dnt think thats it. I think that you are naval gazing, like a lot of young bro's on here.

The trouble with this site is, you have wildly different opinions on a couple of basic, simple propositions - F ucking a girl, and relationshipping a girl. Both of these things are as individual as the persons doing them - there is no gold standard, as much as someone like, lets pick on bigneil, might say there is, and he's bloody well way off the mark being 42 and buying PUA literature, stuff that I have never read, nor will EVER read.

Have a look on my post The Head Buzz and tell me what you think - I am no genious, I sometimes have a stutter, dont have any stock jokes, I shi t, shower and shave like every body else on here - I think you gotta sometimes go back to basics and re simplify.

A few simple honest "stood the test of time" quotes ive always thought about are = nothing ventured nothing gained = throw enough mud at the wall and some of it sticks = He who works for nowt, and she who f ucks for nowt, will never be out of work.......... Have a little think and tell me if i'm making any sense........

i was on anti-depressants for a while but i stopped taking them. i go to counseling like once a month but i dont feel like it really does anything. my therapist said i may have depression and social anxiety but im about to make n appointment to see if my hormones such as testosterone are in check. i have a very self-defeating personality btw thats why i stopped doing my journal. i get really motivated to do something and then when i see its going well my mind flips directions on me and i make up some reason not to continue. i dont really understand myself

 

[Voice]

my therapist said i may have depression and social anxiety

Well there ya go.

Social anxiety and depression are tough. But you can get out of the cycle. I am pretty neurotic like you and had both depression and probably social anxiety as well. But I eventually learned how to get around this and got laid. I currently have a ltr. I still fight the negative thoughts and feelings all the time and I'm ALWAYS tired. I am very similar to you.

The answer is retraining your brain how to think. Therapy does this, it seems like you aren't seeing a very good therapist. A good therapist would give you CBT. You have to realize that many of your thoughts are distorted.

Another HUGE thing that works very well for depression and anxiety is exercise. Not just any exercise, AEROBIC exercise. That is, 30-40 minutes a day of moderately intense exercise. Lifting weights is good to improve testosterone, but aerobic exercise is better for the brain. Aerobic exercise will use many of the neurotransmitters responsible for making you anxious and uptight. Eventually your brain will downregulate the receptors and they will not have nearly the effect they used to have.

A lot of people are deficient in vitamin D have low energy. Up to 60% of the population is deficient, I was too. I take 2 2000mg tablets a day and noticed an improvement. Fish oil is also very good for you.