What is up with my gf??!
- Thread starter loser-it
- Start date
Wow, unbelievable. What you said was what exactly she has been telling me! She told me school is streesing her out and she feels like relaxing by hanging out with classmates and friends who she has classes with (so they can talk about school and stuff).
Maybe school wasn't so hard for me because I never felt the need to "unwind" by hanging out. Most of the time I hung up back in college was to get girls, never once was cuz of the stress. She is probably different like you said. Also, I am always willing to spend time with her instead of my friends and that is why I always stayed with her studying on weekends (in my room). I just thought it is quiet unfair that I wasted all those time accompanying her study but now she can just go out and leave me hanging.
I've been going out ever since the relationship hit rock bottom. I went to a Valentine's Day dance party last weekend but I didn't have as much fun as I could. She was on my mind constantly. I am also going clubbing this weekend as well and try to meet some girls. However, I wonder if it is cheating cuz we are still together technically. And if she found out I've been clubbing, she would be furious and would just make the whole situation even worse. But I also understand I can't just sit around whole day waiting for her to come back after she'd have enough fun with her friends.
Maybe school wasn't so hard for me because I never felt the need to "unwind" by hanging out. Most of the time I hung up back in college was to get girls, never once was cuz of the stress. She is probably different like you said. Also, I am always willing to spend time with her instead of my friends and that is why I always stayed with her studying on weekends (in my room). I just thought it is quiet unfair that I wasted all those time accompanying her study but now she can just go out and leave me hanging.
I've been going out ever since the relationship hit rock bottom. I went to a Valentine's Day dance party last weekend but I didn't have as much fun as I could. She was on my mind constantly. I am also going clubbing this weekend as well and try to meet some girls. However, I wonder if it is cheating cuz we are still together technically. And if she found out I've been clubbing, she would be furious and would just make the whole situation even worse. But I also understand I can't just sit around whole day waiting for her to come back after she'd have enough fun with her friends.
Originally posted by Disconnect
GIVE HER SOME SPACE!!!
Dude, why are you so controlling? Who cares who she goes out with? "She lies!", you say? Well, guess what? She has to lie in order to have any kind of social life without you flipping out! You are not her entire world, and she should NOT be yours.
Imagine the following: you had a long day of classes. Your friends are asking you to come along with them bowling and drinking. But you know your girl always wants to spend time with her, and that she would get mad that you don't wanna see her then and there. What do you do? You know that if you go see your girl for the rest of the day, you'll prolly get in a fight about where you've been last friday. But you can go and have fun with friends who could help you unwind, instead of giving you more stress after a hard day. What would you choose? The latter, of course.
But here comes the difference between man and woman: while you have the balls to tell her straight up: "Back off, bìtch! I have a life and you are not the center of it!", she does not. So she tries to get her independence while trying not to hurt you (READ: She lies).
Now, onto what to do in your situation.
Cut all contact for a while (a week, month, or as long as it takes). Do not demand her time. She'll find it a breath of fresh air, trust me. Instead, go out with co-workers to a bar. Hit on chicks, or just go to have fun. Do something that does not require her company. Does that sound too difficult? It shouldn't.
Now that you have her temporarily out of your life, it should be a sigh of relief for you as well. Don't try to get back together - that's her job. Wait till she comes running back to you, saying how she missed you. That's a good thing, now. If she doesn't come back, then that tells you something about her take on the relationship to begin with. So in both scenarios, you WIN!
Hope that helps, dude.
PS: TillTheEndOfTime - you beat me to it
She is ****ING mental!
Ok, see so I took the advice from one of you guys and decided not to make contact with her for a few days. Today she called me from work. I picked up and she was all nice and stuff saying that she is willing to get back together. I asked do you think it is really possible? She said yez. Then she called me many times and we talked a lot. I told her my feelings and stuff. She said she is willing to back to where we were before. In the begining I was skeptical, but I got a soft heart! She also asked me to visit her at work and said she was hungry asking me to buy some food for her. I was like ok I will do it after I finish my errands. When we met, she said she will come to my house after work.
8PM. I called her work, nobody picked up. I called her cell. She picked up and said she was with her frined. WTF. Again? She pulled the same **** on me again. I asked why you went with your friend again. She said she needed to talk to her friend because she was depressed. Then I said you know our relatinship is really fragile now as any wrong move would really put an end to it. I said if you really want to get back together, please come back now. She said don't force me. I'll go whenever I like. I then asked why you acted like this again. I said are you mental or something? She said ya she thinks she is mental, too. She wanted to get back earlier when she was at work and now she wants to think about it. She said I am the reason that made her crazy like this. I was like.ok fine...**** this ****, if you care about our relationship, come back now, not later. She said she will come later, won't come now cuz I want her too. I said fine then don't come at all.
She has been acting like these for weeks now. In the day time she is all good wanting to be together but when night time comes she changes. WTF is her problem? I feel I am played so bad that I want to give her a taste of her own medicine. I really want to mess her up good now...
Ok, see so I took the advice from one of you guys and decided not to make contact with her for a few days. Today she called me from work. I picked up and she was all nice and stuff saying that she is willing to get back together. I asked do you think it is really possible? She said yez. Then she called me many times and we talked a lot. I told her my feelings and stuff. She said she is willing to back to where we were before. In the begining I was skeptical, but I got a soft heart! She also asked me to visit her at work and said she was hungry asking me to buy some food for her. I was like ok I will do it after I finish my errands. When we met, she said she will come to my house after work.
8PM. I called her work, nobody picked up. I called her cell. She picked up and said she was with her frined. WTF. Again? She pulled the same **** on me again. I asked why you went with your friend again. She said she needed to talk to her friend because she was depressed. Then I said you know our relatinship is really fragile now as any wrong move would really put an end to it. I said if you really want to get back together, please come back now. She said don't force me. I'll go whenever I like. I then asked why you acted like this again. I said are you mental or something? She said ya she thinks she is mental, too. She wanted to get back earlier when she was at work and now she wants to think about it. She said I am the reason that made her crazy like this. I was like.ok fine...**** this ****, if you care about our relationship, come back now, not later. She said she will come later, won't come now cuz I want her too. I said fine then don't come at all.
She has been acting like these for weeks now. In the day time she is all good wanting to be together but when night time comes she changes. WTF is her problem? I feel I am played so bad that I want to give her a taste of her own medicine. I really want to mess her up good now...
Hmmm if you want some good advice just live your life man dont let her get to you...If i was in that situation what i would do is call her occasionaly but not to much ...Make her feel loved and give your time and attention ...but not to much make her crrave your attention..play with it ..give it to her then stop giving it to her..
dont get mad over the smallest thing man..be a man thats what you have to do there is no such thing as a perfect women so just learnt they have lil faults just take that and slowly change her falts and make her feel like your thee only man she is goin to meet that will trreat her so good...If she find u boring or whatever soooooo what! well tell her to leave then lol wtf have that kind of attitude..And remember this ive learned dont give NO ONE THE POWER TO CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL!! even of they say the worst thing to you...are you going to let them have the power to change your feeling HELLNAW
well goodluck and remember dont let her treat you to much like a fool if she treats you really bad just pay her less attention and less and less..make her work for you!
dont get mad over the smallest thing man..be a man thats what you have to do there is no such thing as a perfect women so just learnt they have lil faults just take that and slowly change her falts and make her feel like your thee only man she is goin to meet that will trreat her so good...If she find u boring or whatever soooooo what! well tell her to leave then lol wtf have that kind of attitude..And remember this ive learned dont give NO ONE THE POWER TO CONTROL HOW YOU FEEL!! even of they say the worst thing to you...are you going to let them have the power to change your feeling HELLNAW
well goodluck and remember dont let her treat you to much like a fool if she treats you really bad just pay her less attention and less and less..make her work for you!
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Gotta stop wasting your energy
I just was dealing with a boomerang gal like that, and finally came to my senses, and stopped calling her. I didn't realize how much her nonsense was wasting my energy until I broke off contact. No matter how good the chemistry when you get together, when a gal does the disappearing act like that you have to just break it off. It's virtually impossible to retrain someone once you've set a bad precedent.
A situation like that is more an addiction than a relationship. Go find some other gals, and put the lessons you've learned from this one into practice.
I just was dealing with a boomerang gal like that, and finally came to my senses, and stopped calling her. I didn't realize how much her nonsense was wasting my energy until I broke off contact. No matter how good the chemistry when you get together, when a gal does the disappearing act like that you have to just break it off. It's virtually impossible to retrain someone once you've set a bad precedent.
A situation like that is more an addiction than a relationship. Go find some other gals, and put the lessons you've learned from this one into practice.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
LoserIT: you are a REAL loser!!!!!! and your choice of names couldn't be more appropriate....
She is so in control of your sorry ass its not even funny... You are but a soul on stand-by waiting for her next move...
You are a sad case and you simply cannot be helped at this stage... If you are here to seek validation then you're only fooling yourself. She is not the problem... She has done nothing wrong...The problem is you!!!!! She is simply treating you like the loser you ARE!!!!
She is so in control of your sorry ass its not even funny... You are but a soul on stand-by waiting for her next move...
You are a sad case and you simply cannot be helped at this stage... If you are here to seek validation then you're only fooling yourself. She is not the problem... She has done nothing wrong...The problem is you!!!!! She is simply treating you like the loser you ARE!!!!
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
And one more thing
She was dead right about that one. And you only pushed her away. The best you can do now is learn from this and do differently if a similar situation comes up again.
And changing your screen name is a good idea. Do really want to condition yourself to be a loser?
I believe one should very rarely say "never" or "always," but this is one of those rare cases: never, never, NEVER push a gal to do something.
She was dead right about that one. And you only pushed her away. The best you can do now is learn from this and do differently if a similar situation comes up again.
And changing your screen name is a good idea. Do really want to condition yourself to be a loser?
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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LoserIT: Read these words. Feel them. Trust them. LIVE them.
DROP HER FOR GOOD. Do NOT under any circumstances try to contact her again. Look for other girls.
If she tries to contact you again, reply very coldly with something like:
"I'm seeing other people now. I have no interest in getting back together with you under any circumstances. I no longer want you in my life. Please refrain from contacting me again. Thanks. Bye."
DROP HER FOR GOOD. Do NOT under any circumstances try to contact her again. Look for other girls.
If she tries to contact you again, reply very coldly with something like:
"I'm seeing other people now. I have no interest in getting back together with you under any circumstances. I no longer want you in my life. Please refrain from contacting me again. Thanks. Bye."
I ran the same gauntlet a month ago. After the night my ex broke up with me, I initiated no contact with her. A few days later, I get a letter stating she's willing to try to work it out, and a phone call with her telling me her life's a mess. Was she ever nice to me then! I cracked, and wrote her a letter back saying I'd want to try to work it out too. A week later, she doesn't want to work it out anymore. Fine, and that was the end of it. After three weeks of no contact, I now get an e-mail from her saying "How are you?" WTF?
I think when women break-up, they aren't prepared to deal with the loneliness and absence of you from their life, especially if they don't already have another guy to fill the void. They're on an emotional rollercoaster, and during the low points they honestly do want you back in their lives, and will throw out the "let's work it out line" to draw you back in. But, shortly after they'll change their mind.
If you want to mess her up...don't talk to her anymore. It's the best thing you can do for the situation and yourself.
I think when women break-up, they aren't prepared to deal with the loneliness and absence of you from their life, especially if they don't already have another guy to fill the void. They're on an emotional rollercoaster, and during the low points they honestly do want you back in their lives, and will throw out the "let's work it out line" to draw you back in. But, shortly after they'll change their mind.
If you want to mess her up...don't talk to her anymore. It's the best thing you can do for the situation and yourself.
Colossus
Master Don Juan
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I have a word for you....
STOP CALLING HER!!!
Its time to get your life back, damnit!!
You are being used in a shameful, sad way. We know. Why? Because many of us have been there!!!
Take back the balls that God gave you and split!
Period. End of story.
Is it hard? HELL YES!!
But hard is good. It builds character.
Burn that bridge and learn from these painful mistakes.
STOP CALLING HER!!!
Its time to get your life back, damnit!!
You are being used in a shameful, sad way. We know. Why? Because many of us have been there!!!
Take back the balls that God gave you and split!
Period. End of story.
Is it hard? HELL YES!!
But hard is good. It builds character.
Burn that bridge and learn from these painful mistakes.
loser-it
You need to stop with the AFC behavior. Your time is money as the saying goes. You've got to re-evaluate how you look at yourself. You are #1. Calling multiple times in a day makes you look desperate, pathetic, and controlling. To me she did nothing wrong but you way too insecure about her doing things with her friends.
You want your girl to be active so you can spend the time while she's out meeting new people and lining up future female "contacts". Problem is you had/have severe one-itis.
You can't go back ... cut the cord. Going back never works because you've given her all the power if you agree to get together again.
Cut the cord and get started on the DJ Boot Camp as soon as possible. Prioritize yourself as number 1 friends 2 and so forth. Women can smell desperate men a mile away.
You need to stop with the AFC behavior. Your time is money as the saying goes. You've got to re-evaluate how you look at yourself. You are #1. Calling multiple times in a day makes you look desperate, pathetic, and controlling. To me she did nothing wrong but you way too insecure about her doing things with her friends.
You want your girl to be active so you can spend the time while she's out meeting new people and lining up future female "contacts". Problem is you had/have severe one-itis.
You can't go back ... cut the cord. Going back never works because you've given her all the power if you agree to get together again.
Cut the cord and get started on the DJ Boot Camp as soon as possible. Prioritize yourself as number 1 friends 2 and so forth. Women can smell desperate men a mile away.