What is the funniest/****iest thing you have done or said to your girl?

[joshlavarn2009]

or what is the weirdest or most outlandish/jerkiest request you made from her?

Like, tell her to buy you 20 porno mags with her money or she is kicked to the curb?

Just curious to what lengths a woman will try to please a man.

 

[Taviii]

You better get my pants off 'cos I can't reach them.

 

[Juice09]

"You got to be THIS tall to ride this ride."

Said it to a midget chick.

 

[Allurre]

I could go on for days...

But here's one...

My girl reaches down to my pants... and I say "You're going to wake up the sergeant!"

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Grab her hair and say "Render unto Caesar." My ex howled like a cat after that one.

One time we were sitting in my truck after a date and I pulled out my new(unloaded) .357 and put it to her head. "You better suck my d!ck good if you want to keep your brains inside your skull." She was thrown off at first, and then I could feel her body temperature skyrocket.

I can't remember all the rest right now.

 

[Mangina]

Would you like to be my queen, ill be the king, and the bed can be our chessboard. Ill checkmate you after i castle myself.

 

[ALPHAROMEO]

i say i can t quite understand you !do you live in the countryside?

OR
What are doing in town this mOrning? ¨sPENDING ALL YOUR HUSBAND S MONEY?

 

[WhitePimp]

Grab her hair and say "Render unto Caesar." My ex howled like a cat after that one.

One time we were sitting in my truck after a date and I pulled out my new(unloaded) .357 and put it to her head. "You better suck my d!ck good if you want to keep your brains inside your skull." She was thrown off at first, and then I could feel her body temperature skyrocket.

I can't remember all the rest right now.

Dude! I came up with that exact scene awhile back to put in a movie I've been working on for a few years, except in my scene she had to suck off the gun too.

 

[horaholic]

My girl was giving me shyt about getting too 'handsy' one night while I was trying to bang her. A while later, when we were making out hot and heavy, and she was wet, and turned on, and we were about to rip our clothes off, I totally stopped, and said "Oh, I'm sorry. I was getting all handsy again wasn't I?"

She was half laughing, and half REALLY pissed, but she knew I got her good, and repected that, and wouldnt let me touch her for ten minutes.

My favorite line is still "Did you fall from heaven?........cuz it looks like you hit the ground pretty hard!" I read that on here, in some thread about pickup lines that arent, really pickup lines. I use it often, especially on bytches. I wish I could find the thread.

 

[War Against Betaism]

I was at the club and my friend introduced me to this girl, she was an 8.5. People often say I look like the artist Ne-Yo so she said "You kind of look like Ne-Yo." Later on in the conversation she mentioned that she wanted to give me a dance, and then I looked at her with this smile and said "Please, I'm Ne-Yo! I have girls lining up for me!" or something along those lines. She wrapped her arms around my neck and was all up on my face and she's like "Oh yeah?" while being flirty. She left to her group of friends and told me "I'll look for you Ne-Yo."

 

[EvilAgenda]

Grab her hair and say "Render unto Caesar." My ex howled like a cat after that one.

One time we were sitting in my truck after a date and I pulled out my new(unloaded) .357 and put it to her head. "You better suck my d!ck good if you want to keep your brains inside your skull." She was thrown off at first, and then I could feel her body temperature skyrocket.

I can't remember all the rest right now.

OMG,,rep points to you!!! Brilliant!

 

[Thatfeel21]

Me: "You like the way my big **** feels inside you huh?"
Her: "yeahhhhh"

 

[Senor Juan]

Playing football, picked up the girl (She was holding the ball) and ran into the endzone with her.

 

[horaholic]

I dont know if this counts, but I pulled a ballsy move last night. My singer was talking to some chick at the bar, and I could tell, he was talking about our band, and they were motioning for me to come over. I asked the bartender for a pen, and walked over, introduced myself, and said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what you want." and I pulled her shirt down a little bit, and signed her boob, then walked away. I talked to her a few minutes later. She thought it was funny as hell that I did that. I just pretended I was a major rock star for a while. I pissed her off later though, when I asked her if she gave good backrubs. She said, "thats what I do." I said, "O.k. you're the official band masseausse, get to work." She got irritated at that, and left, but it was funny. Within a minute, I had one of my chick friends rubbing my back. I yelled, "you're fired" across the bar at her.

 

[TheGameMaster]

I foolishly turned up to a bar once with trainers on, so they wouldnt let me in. One of my friends stopped some girl in the street (HB8) and asked her if she'd give the bouncer the eye and plead him to let me in. She agreed, and grabbed my hand, me having said nothing to her. As we approached the bouncer and the door, i said to her with a cheeky grin "you know, if you pull this off, I might even let you buy me a drink" She gave me that did he really just say that look.

 

[Little Italy]

ok, I have twenty minutes to hang out, so.... you know. (Unzips pants)

lmao