What is the appropriate way to react when you're rejected?

MascaraSnake

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I know you want to appear unfazed, but not overly nice. here's a brief recap of last night:

We talked for about 20 minutes until last call. (not much of a loss: HB6. appropriate semi-flirty discussion, and light kino.) I was getting all the signals.

"I'd ask you if you wanted to get a drink sometime, but we just did that, didn't we?"

She laughs.

"Phone number."

"Uh, I'm not interested, I'm sorry."

"Oh? Then have a nice night."

She appeared kind of hurt that the discussion was over. "I'll see you here again sometime, though?"

I laughed. "Maybe you will." (translation: "And I sure as hell won't be talking to you.")

I turned to the TV and overtly ignored her until we all were kicked out. On her way out, she tried giving me an "it was nice to meet you," but I gave her another semi-dismissive answer.

Is this the way you handle a woman that's rejected you? Honestly...I'm only after one thing if I'm talking to a girl in a bar, and if she shoots me down? She's invisible.
 

JohnChops

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Just don't care, act like it doesn't phase you because it really shouldn't. Why would it make you mad that some random girl rejected you? You lost nothing, you gained nothing. 0/0 interaction . Just move on brotha.
 

MascaraSnake

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I wasn't mad, but I was annoyed that she tried to continue talking to me - nothing's happening, and I don't see the point.
 

betheman

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you hung around her! "ok, enjoy your night"....walk away and talk to someone else, she is dead to you/ if she 'bumps' into you soon after, a terse 'you again?"
dont overdo it though, id prefer a 'im not interested' to some flake or a fake number.
 

MascaraSnake

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betheman said:
you hung around her! "ok, enjoy your night"....walk away and talk to someone else, she is dead to you/ if she 'bumps' into you soon after, a terse 'you again?"
dont overdo it though, id prefer a 'im not interested' to some flake or a fake number.
I stayed there because I liked my spot at the bar, not because I was hoping she'd say "oh, I changed my mind, let's go back to your place and do it".

(I'll also mention that the bar was dead. There were about 6 people there, her being the only woman.)

Does hanging around her still count as hanging around her if I'm intentionally making an effort not to talk to her? As soon as she shot me down, should I have downed my Guinness, paid, and left?
 

Robert28

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"I'm not interested, sorry." in a bar doesn't always mean she isn't interested. Women have this hangup about meeting guys in bars (to date, not to take home and slore it up with). They act like decent guys never go to bars/clubs. True, most guys in bars/clubs aren't worth a sh!t dating wise, but that doesn't mean that's all that hangs out there. I've actually been in your situation only to have the girl come up to me later in the night saying "I'm sorry for acting like a biatch earlier, you seem like a nice guy, here's my number." Of course I threw it away later because she gave me the "you seem like a nice guy" line and I didn't feel like starting out behind the 8 ball from the get go.
 

betheman

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then just dont talk to her
 

EastvsWest

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The hang up with Chicks and Bars really is pathetic and pure B.S. How in the hell would every dude in the bar be a douche bag? Not going to happen guys like drinking, they will go to bars. Sure some bars are probably labeled as hook up spots, and weekends are tough but don't go there if you are chick. I live in a big city and there are 100's of bars! But I always hear these damn chicks saying I don't want to meet a guy in a bar. GOOD LUCK THEN! This is even more true in your 30's. Sorry chick you are not going to meet your Prince Charming at the Art Festival.
 

nismo-4

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I use the one-hit-point wonder rule. If I get blown off, I dismiss her. Any bad signals, I leave. I don't tolerate female bullsh*t, and neither should you.

When you get rejected, leave.

Case closed. Simple.
 

evan12

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MascaraSnake said:
I wasn't mad, but I was annoyed that she tried to continue talking to me - nothing's happening, and I don't see the point.
women do that to keep you focused on them , they reject any advance but still give signals that let your attention directed to them , you did good when you didn't try again .
 

Dust 2 Dust

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Once you walk in the bar you're on the clock. You've got 30 minutes to close em after that you're old news.
 

plate's_empty

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HB6, only girl in the bar.

It was her turn to be the b1tch that she'd seen all the hotter girls being. She had her moment in the sun turning down someone.

That's all. Happens all the time. You played it well.
 

VladPatton

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Best way you could've handled it. The fact that you stopped the convo dead annoyed her, proving all she wanted was ego stroking attention from you.

I love how women have this concept of "just because I'm not going to fück you doesn't mean we can't have a fantastic time together until I get bored of you!"

GTFOOH!! I've got video tapes to return.
 

MascaraSnake

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this was me snatching a very, very small victory from the jaws of getting shot down.

what I'm taking away from this, though...I said I was getting "all the signals" from her, and she still rejected me. This means one of these two things:

A. I suck at noticing when a woman's into me, and need to work on it
B. Women can act "interested" like I flip a light switch on, and I need to not trust any of it.

This just gets more and more complicated, and the woman was a freaking 6.

hey, I've got all summer to work on this...may start a field report diary
 

plate's_empty

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MascaraSnake said:
this was me snatching a very, very small victory from the jaws of getting shot down.

what I'm taking away from this, though...I said I was getting "all the signals" from her, and she still rejected me. This means one of these two things:

A. I suck at noticing when a woman's into me, and need to work on it
B. Women can act "interested" like I flip a light switch on, and I need to not trust any of it.

This just gets more and more complicated, and the woman was a freaking 6.

hey, I've got all summer to work on this...may start a field report diary
Stop fvcking crying like a little b1tch.

Did you read my post? I'll post it again.

plate's_empty said:
HB6, only girl in the bar.

It was her turn to be the b1tch that she'd seen all the hotter girls being. She had her moment in the sun turning down someone.

That's all. Happens all the time. You played it well.
 

MascaraSnake

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Yeah, buddy, I read your post, and I appreciated it before you began attacking me. Calm the fvck down.
 

PlayHer Man

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A woman who rejects you should immediately become a non-entity.

So the right reaction is to immediately move on to the next girl and forget this girl exists.

There are some men who persistently chase women with low interest level and over time "win them over". But a woman you have to sell yourself to is not a woman you want to be with.

Also.. I don't understand why so many men on this site what to "come off a certain way" after a rejection. Why do you give a sh!t what women think in the first place? What women think doesn't matter! A woman can hate your guts and still blow you the next day. Sexual attraction has nothing to do with approval of you as a person.

So men.. STOP giving a sh!t what women "think". It really doesn't matter and never has!
 
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Its exactly answers like 'I don't tolerate bull****' that will often make the girl think they made the right decision to reject you. I am not saying you would outright say that, but body language and tone can often tell the girl that even if you used the words 'ok i'll see you around'. Its called sulking, and its what children do.

Rejection isn't something you should be getting upset about, you shouldn't have felt you invested anything in the 20 minutes you spent with the girl, so why get mad she's not interested? You probably weren't suited to each other anyway...

Dismissing her 'in your alpha male' way once she has turned you down is a sure-fire way to end things awkwardly, and sometimes aggressively.

It might turn out a few weeks, months or years down the line that you two meet again. Maybe she will be interested/you will be better suited for each other, or maybe she will have a friend who IS interested in you. I'm not saying its likely, but it isn't impossible. This is part of being a 'well-adjusted' individual. And there is no reason to 'cut' someone off, if you are secure enough in your self-worth.

Be polite, friendly and accepting. Make your excuses to leave if you feel you have to, but there's just no need to make her feel uncomfortable.
 
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