what is psychology why woman accept dates then cancel them?

[Michael Chief]

Lots of people here are saying that the most common reason women flake like this is that they "got a better offer" from another dude. This does happen from time to time, but talk to enough women about this and you will realize that the most common reason is actually just laziness.

Get to the level of having abundance as much as a woman has and you can feel this yourself.

She's initially excited when you first start chatting, but of course that feeling is fleeting and transient, as all emotions detached from desperation tend to be. When push comes to shove and the day of the date finally comes, and you're faced with the reality that you have to spend HOURS preparing your hair and makeup, you have to make sure all that body hair is taken care of, you have to expend energy to meet a new person, you have to potentially need to deal with rejecting someone or getting rejected, etc., that initial excitement you felt a few days or even weeks ago doesn't seem to justify all the work you suddenly realize that you need to put in. Especially when you could just meet another guy anytime you want when you feel more in-the-mood.

You gotta anchor that excitement into something more significant, or maintain it with plenty of emotional spikes. You can't expect her to have the same motivation as a man who rarely gets the chance to have dates

 

[SW15]

There is a big difference between being interested enough to say yes and being interested enough after working all day to come home, take time to get ready, put on makeup and then drive to wherever you are meeting. They are interested until they actually have to make the effort to do it. Then they realize they simply aren't that interested.

She's initially excited when you first start chatting, but of course that feeling is fleeting and transient, as all emotions detached from desperation tend to be. When push comes to shove and the day of the date finally comes, and you're faced with the reality that you have to spend HOURS preparing your hair and makeup, you have to make sure all that body hair is taken care of, you have to expend energy to meet a new person, you have to potentially need to deal with rejecting someone or getting rejected, etc., that initial excitement you felt a few days or even weeks ago doesn't seem to justify all the work you suddenly realize that you need to put in. Especially when you could just meet another guy anytime you want when you feel more in-the-mood.

Both of you express the same idea here and it is a valid idea. It represents many first date flakes.

This is an indication of a lower interest level. Shortening the window of time from date offer presented to actual date isn't likely to help much with lower interest level. Interest level must be raised. If this was a date arranged from a tech-based method, her impression is based on some abstraction of a man from texting and possibly a phone/video call. She hasn't had the real life experience of that man. Raising an interest level based on an abstraction is possible but more difficult.

Interest level can be raised through combination of self-improvement (presenting a better overall product to women) and real life approaching (her impression of you is more rooted in reality).

 

[Mertz09]

Iron rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing relations with new fresh perspective women, then it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship.

 

[manfrombelow]

The only and most simple psychology here is that:

Women, as stated correctly by @Michael Chief , are living an abundant life when it comes to dating prospects. Their smartphones, at any give time, are having at least dozenz, if not hundreds, of unread messages/texts/pms by thirsty dudes everywhere.

This allows them to accept half-azz-ly your date offer only to cancel it at the last minute, at any given moment in time.

Women, if not too fvcking ugly, are born with abundance mindset. Men have to learn it, and earn it, the hardest way possible.

 

[manfrombelow]

She's initially excited when you first start chatting, but of course that feeling is fleeting and transient, as all emotions detached from desperation tend to be. When push comes to shove and the day of the date finally comes, and you're faced with the reality that you have to spend HOURS preparing your hair and makeup, you have to make sure all that body hair is taken care of, you have to expend energy to meet a new person, you have to potentially need to deal with rejecting someone or getting rejected, etc., that initial excitement you felt a few days or even weeks ago doesn't seem to justify all the work you suddenly realize that you need to put in. Especially when you could just meet another guy anytime you want when you feel more in-the-mood.

Let's be honest: Nowadays it takes real attraction to make a woman wants to go out and see you, because that means she's gonna have to go through that sh!tloads of works (makeup, hair do, picking outfit...etc), so unless her IL in you is high enough, she wouldn't bother to give you her time.

And vice versa: Most of us would rather stay home and jack off to porn than go see a 5/10 (with makeup, and 4/10 without it) overweight chick.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

what if you don't want a relationship?

Same advice applies, avoid the love-bombers and overly-sensitive types. You want to avoid the serial daters as well, for obvious reasons. As per the usual advice, focus on the genuinely high interest women. Which means a balance of the getting-to-know you stuff and sexual flirtation. If they've invested time to get to know you, and they're both sexually open and sexually interested in you, the odds of a flake go way down.

If she asks the details of how your day went, sends you a boob shot and talks about sucking your D, she's not going to flake unless she gets hits by a bus.

 

[LTG71]

If you have a woman who sounds very excited for a date, thanks you, sends hearts, .. and then 12 hours later or 24 hours later cancels... what is that? What is going on in their heads to do that?


As a guy, if I make plans with someone and AGREE to them I am going. I am not deciding last minute in any situation depending on my mood. I doubt they do this at work either.

Like if I was a chick and I was iffy I'd just say, "I'll have to check my schedule and let you know" or something vague, NOT agree to something and continue to lead a guy on and then cancel.

So what is behind this? Is the intention always to probably end up flaking but letting a guy feel good for a day or two? Makes no sense to me.

Lack of interest
Lack of integrity
Poor emotional regulation
Got another offer that she perceives is better
Doesn’t value spending time with you
Some other random thing happened and she is in her head about it
She has too many options and has decision paralysis
You drink Coke and she likes Pepsi

I know a chic that likes to be invited to gatherings but flakes on most of them. When you stop including her on the invites she gets butt sore even though she will not go 9/10 times. Then she’ll try to make the group feel bad for her because she missed the gathering. B!tch pls.

 

[Solomon]

Lots of people here are saying that the most common reason women flake like this is that they "got a better offer" from another dude. This does happen from time to time, but talk to enough women about this and you will realize that the most common reason is actually just laziness.

Get to the level of having abundance as much as a woman has and you can feel this yourself.

She's initially excited when you first start chatting, but of course that feeling is fleeting and transient, as all emotions detached from desperation tend to be. When push comes to shove and the day of the date finally comes, and you're faced with the reality that you have to spend HOURS preparing your hair and makeup, you have to make sure all that body hair is taken care of, you have to expend energy to meet a new person, you have to potentially need to deal with rejecting someone or getting rejected, etc., that initial excitement you felt a few days or even weeks ago doesn't seem to justify all the work you suddenly realize that you need to put in. Especially when you could just meet another guy anytime you want when you feel more in-the-mood.

You gotta anchor that excitement into something more significant, or maintain it with plenty of emotional spikes. You can't expect her to have the same motivation as a man who rarely gets the chance to have dates

Bingo
Another one I would add is depending on the woman and her age. Women do get nervous. This may sound silly but it does happen, this is why some women want to facetime first etc

 

[Mertz09]

Lack of interest
Lack of integrity
Poor emotional regulation
Got another offer that she perceives is better
Doesn’t value spending time with you
Some other random thing happened and she is in her head about it
She has too many options and has decision paralysis
You drink Coke and she likes Pepsi

I know a chic that likes to be invited to gatherings but flakes on most of them. When you stop including her on the invites she gets butt sore even though she will not go 9/10 times. Then she’ll try to make the group feel bad for her because she missed the gathering. B!tch pls.

" Lack of integrity " Isn't that the problem with a lot of what is happening today?

"I know a chic that likes to be invited to gatherings but flakes on most of them. When you stop including her on the invites she gets butt sore even though she will not go 9/10 times. Then she’ll try to make the group feel bad for her because she missed the gathering. B!tch pls."
[/QUOTE]
She needs to Grow Up!
I don't tolerate that crap.

 

[Hal9000]

Imagine you make a date with a girl a week out and then imagine you receive dozens, if not hundreds, of offers for a date that same night from other women every single day of your life? What are the odds someone that just seems, well, better comes along before the date actually happens? I'll guarantee you it's a lot higher than it is for a guy who is usually lucky to have even more than one woman on the hook at a time wanting to go out. Try not to take it personally. It is a good test of character for them to fail right up front.