I see where you're coming from very clearly. But you're assuming that the qualities one possesses are easily recognizable and that they have not been supressed for a long time. If they have been, or if they are vaguely present, wouldn't that make it harder to recognize which qualities have been learned and which are natural?
Whether they're suppressed or not, they still exist. Most have ALLOWED them to be suppressed by giving into the whims of everybody but themselves. It's not easy getting down to the core of who you are, and people will want to place *their emotional debts* on you, but you must thrust them off.
You can do 2 things...
1. Get back to the natural, traditional way.
2. Work on the external traits, which is a process of intellectualization and practice.
Personally I've gone route 1. More activity, little to NO Tv. Few media type shyt. I've stopped all forms of junk that forces down fake ideals, fake images, false beliefs, and false everything. The whole thing is a sham meant to entice the ego through agrandizement of "things", when purity comes from within, yet you're constantly told you're *without*.
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What works most dating gurus wouldn't even point out. They're trying to feed your MIND, instead of FEEING YOUR EXPERIENCE and YOUR BODY. Think about it...even if C&F, SS, or anything else SOUNDS GOOD, you can't say anything about it until you've experienced it.
Why do you care about what you create in other people?
That statement reveals alot about the mentality of thinking on the board. I'm not harping on it, but you can't control what another person thinks. How often have you done something you found humorous, or on accident, and the person got mad? MANY
The person's reaction to something is their own choice. Most things can't get me upset b/c it's a personal choice I make, just like us guys make a personal choice when to feel and not to feel. Sure, we might get hot and bothered over a chick, but does that mean you gaga over her and profess your love when you fully well know she doesn't the feel the same??
SS tries to do this. The belief that you can impact another person. Yes, words, states, all have their place, but its unexpected as to how they work. In this funny thing called love, dating, romance, sex, you're in it for you. You're in it to find happiness. To find someone or some people, who have no quarms about being flexible.
Why do you even want to bother? While you're trying manipulate, coax, or seduce someone, another person who would so willingly just walked about, or tried phoning you?? I say this, because it's true. I've been there. Most of us have.
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Deep down, MOST guys know what's going. What's going wrong and what's going right. It's the MIND that leads 1 astray. The mind will always doubt because it's a never-ending Q&A machine. Even today you think you have an answer, as you become enlightened, you ask greater questions. The glut of dating crap is intellectual. Guys would behoove themselves well if they...
# Only sought women they truly liked. Part of the problem here is, most guys approach attractive girls, but don't like their personalities and have little respect for the sex. Even if you portray a positive exterior, your negative interior shines through and displays itself as insecure, fearful, sketchy, withdrawn, condescending, arrogant, self-righteous, disrespectful, and a host of other negative feelings associated with it.
Your gut instinct is very strong and very right. Most times, we make good decisions in the blink of an eye, and spend the rest of the time trying to build up or break down the decision. Decisive action is knowing you made the decision and sticking to it, no questions asked. Questions kill.
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Figaments of the imagination. Envision yourself and the life you want, that's it. Forget the archetype of a DJ alpha male. There's no convention in June where we get together, and I've never felt the "warm fuzzies" here as if all guys would band together and treat each other respectfully. Some might, others wouldn't. Each guy has a different opinion, and as far as it goes, the only place it exists is your mind.
The problem with archetypes is that you may create an outlandish view of reality purely from fantasy. Guys come here "thinking" more success is being had, when no one really knows. The info is verified either. Trust yourself. Take some time to meditate. To control your thoughts and find your gut feelings.
As said before, read what you can from the bible. There's good bits of advice, then go seek some true books. I've read alot of the dating stuff out there, and yeah, it's fun. But until you learn to just be male, be human, enjoy life, it's all useless. It's like trying to learn really cool marketing techniques, when your business still sucks. Or learning that you can do killer moves on your skis, without even knowing how to stop, or having fun with skiing. You can't enjoy the advanced stages of anything, until you enjoy the basics.
And to many, who want the quick lay, it can be had. Get a stripper or hooker. Find a cheap bytch at a party. Whatever. They're out there. You needn't go through a long journey of self introspection to do what nature has always intended you to do. It boggles my mind when a guy would subjugate his sense of self worth and value, for a cheap trick. The beauty in women is the flamboyant, but when she's your's. If she's an open hoe, and she's public about her private shyt, then she has no sense of self-respect or privacy, and anything she'd do with you, she'd do with the next guy, and the 1 before you.
I'm ranting, but there's a virus inside the mindset of many men.
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If you want to change, you need experiences, not intellectual clutter. Reading helps, but you can either accept what's written or not. You're no different a person by reading, only through experiences. You can experience love, and depending on that experience, it will generally dictate your view on it going forward.
That's why it's said to EXPERIENCE the process of approaching. It changes you, from the inside out. Everything said on these boards could be entirely true or false, but until you see through your own 2 eyes, you'll never know. It'll never be truth to you.
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The Ego never gets enough importance on this site. And when it does, its get shot down for being too complex or not important. It's of the utmost importance, because most people's pain comes from having to satisfy the short-term needs and desires of a voice that's constantly negative, constantly demanding.
The Ego will always stand in your way, and if you realize that and push through when it's tough, you might just turn it around.
Envision it being a small negative person...becoming smaller....then blowing it away. Or even shooting it with a gun. When you mentally conquer it, you can physically conquer it.
A-Unit
