'True Love' is self-love. If you love your life, love the direction in which you're moving, love your experience of yourself, you'll naturally love everybody who chooses to be a part of that. And you'll love the people who won't--since they'll free you to live how you want to live and you don't 'need' anything from them. We've been socially conditioned to not have permission to love ourselves--to only be able to love ourselves with the love of a woman, the approval of society, the acquisition of resources or achievement serving as a proxy.
You'll have to be selfish at first, but selfishness isn't the endgame--or at least, I don't think it is. When your life is overabundant with love you can choose to hoard it to yourself and hang that abundance over the heads of other people. But happiness is sharing that love with other people. Because the fact is that hardly anyone else knows how to love themselves either--and they'll be drawn into your reality and since you're giving value freely, feel compelled to reciprocate, and will be less likely to try to 'take.'
I know all of this sounds kind of hippyish and a year ago I would've been like, WTF, that's stupid. But the need to judge stems from a need to feel superior to other people, which stems from a lack of self-love and self-validation.
As far as relationships go, you have to be committed to yourself always and your direction. If you loved yourself, you wouldn't sacrifice your desires for a woman; you wouldn't change your life plans for a woman; you wouldn't do things you didn't want to do for a woman. But you also wouldn't be afraid to invite one (or some of them) come along for the ride, to share yourself with them, to love them to the extent that they don't compromise your love for yourself.
