What is it that keeps you motivated?

[AtomicDog]

This is aimed at the less successful guys (the majority of us).

What is it that makes you stay motivated and keep up all the energy and effort to try to seduce women (e.g. going to bars, being really social, buying the best clothes, etc)?

I pretty much gave up on being a pick up artist like 2 years ago. Since then I've just focussed on my job and my hobbies. I do work out 3 times a week, but despite this and taking protein supplements, creatine and a healthy diet, I still haven't put on an inch of muscle.

I just don't see the point in it anymore. I can get hookers easily (where I live, prostitution is legal).

What is it that stops you from just paying for sex instead of all the hassle and worry that goes with trying to be a player?

 

[Snow Plowman]

Although I'm successful at this...

Once you get passed the EGO/FEAR intentions you start to realize this is bigger than just getting laid and honestly it would be more profitable for SOME people to just get an escort and go back to there lives. The actual benefits are...
- Total Transformation & Self Discovery
- Taking charge of your life and creating a lifestyle
- Developing and enjoying social/sex life
- Learning cold approach gives you the TOOL needed to meet people anywhere at anytime

After I stopped caring about having more lays than my cousin I started to focus on actual transformation of my negative self. I was fueled by changing myself and the journey led me to an expanded awareness to the point where my whole life has changed in EVERY ASPECT.

 

[AtomicDog]

It seems like the whole notion of "stop trying to get laid and it'll happen" is incredibly flawed.

It's exact opposite. You have to chase it in every way - including forcing yourself to be something you know deep down you're not.

This is why I gave up. I could spend half my disposable income on expensive clothes. I could hang out for hours every weeknight listening to loud music, shouting over noisy crowds and trying to look confident and alpha.

I could eventually score some drunk, desperate weirdo, and gradually build up the game from there.

But some other guy who's 5 years younger than me and has never been to a bar in his life can just walk in and pick up a girl like that.

Because he's just more suited to it - mentally, genetically, psychologically.

I think a person should try to live in accordance with their basic nature. My basic nature is many things, but it's definitely not that of a successful womanizer.

 

[Pathgen]

what stpped me from giving up was pride. To expand on snow plowman, as you work on yourself and get better at everything in life, your self value increases. Which for me translates to pride. however, i think you need to realize that picking up women should be less of a magic pua trick, but rather showing them you have earned the right to be prideful.

One more thing, I want you to think about this. If a fat ugly girl went into the bar dressed up in the best clothes and talking about topics that are more commonly male topics. Would you be interested in having sex with her if you weren't attracted at all to her? Or would you rather talk to her and dismiss her advances? I hate to say it, but i sure as hell wouldn't, even hookers are somewhat attractive. The same goes with men. Girls have a certain criteria they want met and yes you can change the clothes and the attitude. You can even do it to the extent where you start to get laid. However, doesn't it make more sense to just do the hard work and gain those attractive qualities girls want? Surprisingly, I don't think you can get most of the qualities girls look for in the bar. It has to be present in your life before you even step out because otherwise you will just be a sheep in wolves clothing. You will be that ugly girl dressed up all fly.

 

[r0cky]

What keeps me going thru failure not only in pick up but in every goal is to be constantly focused on my goal. I'm always thinking about what I want and how it will feel once I've accomplished it. I block the thoughts of failure replacing them with thoughts of faith that success is coming

 

[flint]

What's kept me going is the realization that anything you want in life you've got to work for. There's a lot of people with crummy jobs out there who just accept it and take it as luck. Other people have terrible social lives so they say it's because they aren't popular or that they just don't have the right personality for it. And then you've got people on here who attribute their lack of women to their looks, height, money, the list goes on forever.

The fact is that if you're mentally strong enough to go for it and are willing to do whatever it takes to make things happen, eventually they will. Sure some people have a better start at this (if they look like a model etc) but so what? It's all about you not them. If you ask Warren Buffett why he's one of the richest men in the world he won't say it's because of luck, it's because he had a vision and put in the work. And I bet he's never had to worry about women either, and not just because he's loaded.

The other thing that keeps me motivated is the fact that once you start approaching approaching approaching approaching and then more approaching you'll see two things. One that it's not as big of a deal as we make it out to be anyways, and two the more you improve your social skills the better reactions you get from girls. Now I'm not saying that I'm there yet either, but I'm at the point where when I walk into sets that girls are way more receptive to me than they used to be, and overall more engaging.

Don't make excuses just go for it, take the steps to make it happen and don't lose focus, that's what anyone does that's successful at something.

 

[DonJuan11]

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What is it that makes you stay motivated and keep up all the energy and effort to try to seduce women (e.g. going to bars, being really social, buying the best clothes, etc)?

I pretty much gave up on being a pick up artist like 2 years ago. Since then I've just focussed on my job and my hobbies.

Guys get so confused about this. If they don't get quick results and laid fast using contrived PUA techniques, they give up. It's part of the "I want it now" instant gratification internet generation we live in.

Being a "PUA" and focusing on job and hobbies are not mutually exclusive. It's a process like anything else you want to be successful at. You have to continue to work hard, read books, go to school, work out, make connections, make friends with important people, and then you will see the results you want. It's a long process LIKE ANYTHING ELSE IN LIFE. People don't become rich in one day, it takes years and years of work and tons of painful experiences to become successful, with money or with girls. Once you understand what it takes, you will begin to enjoy the journey rather than the end result.


I just don't see the point in it anymore. I can get hookers easily (where I live, prostitution is legal).

Obviously you do, otherwise you wouldn't be writing on here. If you enjoyed your life and were fun to be around, you wouldn't even be thinking of having sex with hookers. Instead nice, good looking attractive girls would be begging to have sex with you.

What is it that stops you from just paying for sex instead of all the hassle and worry that goes with trying to be a player?

Again you are getting confused. Being a "player" is not about hassle and worry, it's about getting the opposite sex to respond in a positive way to your charms. If you are trying to trick a women into your bed because you don't have enough game and know no other way, you are doing something really wrong. WORK ON YOURSELF, THEN THE GIRLS WILL COME. Yet most guys are so lazy to work on themselves, they want everything handed to them on a silver platter.

 

[Exhumed]

My sex drive keeps me motivated! Why would I pay for sex? Half of the fun is the thrill of the hunt. Paying for sex would be like fast-forwarding through an entire action movie to get to the last fight scene; you'd miss all the buildup.

 

[HolyG]

I really don't know what it is that's wrong with me that every girl, without fail, flakes on me after number closes, no matter how positively they respond when i hit on em.

As for "paying for sex", you can spend money on a girl, buy em drinks, etc. or you can pay for it upfront. There isn't much difference.