What is holding YOU back from the success with women that you want?

[Masculinity]

Most of us have issues on which we must work to get the success we want.

Some may have mental obstacles, low self-esteem, approach anxiety, etc. For

others it may be something physical, financial, or even emotional (ex: a former

girlfriend). Regardless of what it is or was that is difficult, we want to hear it.

What is keeping from succeeding and what are the things you've overcome?

I get the feeling a good part of the problems will overlap. Be specific so that

other DJ's can learn from your experience.

 

[Zodiac]

Most of us have issues on which we must work to get the success we want.

Some may have mental obstacles, low self-esteem, approach anxiety, etc. For

others it may be something physical, financial, or even emotional (ex: a former

girlfriend). Regardless of what it is or was that is difficult, we want to hear it.

What is keeping from succeeding and what are the things you've overcome?

I get the feeling a good part of the problems will overlap. Be specific so that

other DJ's can learn from your experience.

Well at the moment since I just moved its distance to the girls I used to game (1100 miles or so) and also I have to get out there to find new meat so to speak to begin from scratch.

Things I have overcome however are:
- Went from 290ish down to fluctuating between 210-220 depending on the time of year.
- PTSD from various events that I had to sort out due to a few events during the tiny bit I was in college.
- Had to overcome an anxiety disorder through medications for about a year while in therapy for the above mentioned PTSD until I was comfortable in my own skin.
- Had to change my opinion on women as I used to be a Captain Save a Ho (Mangina) because I believed the s**t my Mom told me as a kid.

Honestly I came from that annoying p whipped fat kid into a ****y and funny guy that can pick up a chick within 2-3 times of meeting her if I really want her .

I still suck at typing what I think easily but eh as long as you can speak it who cares right?

 

[European-DJ]

The reason i got in the game, and which is still my problem is as follows;

- I lack self-confidence due to my height.
- I had an LTR (2 yrs), which really hurt med when it ended.
- and for some reason, every girl wanna be my girlfriend - and i honestly only wanna bang them once .. so i tend to use 1-2 months until getting laid, while my friends use 1-2 dates.!!! frustrating

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Honestly, for the most part.. I'm kind of sick of pursuing women because it has ALWAYS been a let down for me. I know it shouldn't be this way and I need to stop thinking this way, but every dating spark I've had has only lasted 2-4 weeks. I just don't feel like putting an investment in dating anymore or even the approach for that matter.

Other than that...

-I have approach anxiety in scenarios where the approach is sort of frowned upon (Pretty much anywhere except night clubs and bars I have AA).

-I'm a virgin and 21 years old. This sort of bothers me on a personal level even though I know it shouldn't.

-I tend to over analyze situations with girls. When they stop texting I tend to fall to the belief "She's fvcking 5 other dudes".. Even if she is, why should it bother me?

-I get very busy with work and school. Every day I am busy with one of the two until 8 or 9pm.. This usually leaves me feeling exhausted and oftentimes I don't even bother to schedule dates because of it, even after I NC on an approach.

-I still live with my mother and she has her work office at home. So she is home almost all day other than when she goes out with her boyfriend or to do errands. This leaves me with no options if I were to bring a girl home.

 

[Strelok]

In my teens I found as a big problem to be unaware of the "fun subculture", im talking about clubs,bars, beach parties and parties in general.
I literally asked myself which one was the task or the goal to achieve there.

It seems those settings have particular rules that dont obey to logic and common sense as the work field, obviously those problems tend to disappear gradually from the end on high school/university.
It needs more social skills there than problem solving or planning.

I find myself to be totally incompetant in that field almost as a computer geek, thankfully Im really manly in all the other fields to that balance really good.
Everytime my gf's friends invite us to a damn club its always a pain in the ass still now,once used the drinking time and the smoking time (I dont smoke) I have to go back inside.

And one last thing, Im sure that if I were a western european or an american the low tolerance to stupid cvnts and their games would be a critic element as well.

 

[Powerofmindset]

in order:

1. Putting too much emphasis on women and not putting as much effort on other parts of my life.

2. Related to #1...not keeping myself busy with school/working out/hobbies.

3. Related to both #1 and #2...smoking too much weed! Hard not to when all your friends do and your roommate is the one they are all getting it from!

4. Being too self aware of how skinny I am. I'm 6'2" and used to weigh 160lbs. I now weigh 180+ depending on if I'm working out. No matter what I weigh I will always feel skinny. Although now a days I don't care as much as I used to.

5. Related to working out...posture...mine sucks and I'm not totally sure how to fix it. I think I need to work out my back more...start doing deadlifts (can't believe I'm not doing them now).

6. My relaxed face...looks stern and unhappy even tho that's not what I actually feel. No idea how to fix it...don't really care to walk around all day smiling...hurts too much!


I've had 0 friends that I hung out with during high school and below. When I turned 18 I turned to women to try and get someone to love me. Then when I turned 21 I started to go out to bars/clubs and meet tons of people and got addicted to being social. Now I want to move on with my life while still keeping my social life but I don't think it's possible...my social life is pretty amazing!

 

[Packers2010]

1) right now. it's moving country. i'm not going out at all. so i don't have the running confidence when talking to to girls.

2) i have no clue how i am going to make new friends in wales. but i will make do.

3) my posture. i know Powerofmindset said it. but i didn't get called " the hunch back of notre dame" for NOTHING in high school.

4) i am fat. for my height.


the thing is. my mind set has changed for a - to a positive it's so unreal as i wrote the above i felt like i was complaining so much. i used to do it all the time. now not so much.

i know this thread is just going to be about us wishing. but as of now i live for wales in less then 3 weeks. so i have to get my **** together and move. once i get settled i will write a new journal and continue you wright my blog. ( most of the time it's just a cross post on both so.)

i am going to post a counter thread to this. so we can be make these goals a reality


Luke's life tips

 

[DonGorgon]

Looks and money = confidence = success = more confidence

 

[st_99]

Good topic:

1) Tend to put desirable girls on pedestal which results in acting AFC'ish instead
of assuming I'M the prize. Especially after I bone them.

2) Lack of wide enough social circle to meet more girls.

 

[pdx1138]

Good topic:

1) Tend to put desirable girls on pedestal which results in acting AFC'ish instead
of assuming I'M the prize. Especially after I bone them.

2) Lack of wide enough social circle to meet more girls.

Seconded.

 

[Vince115]

Lack of money -> lack of attractive lifestyle

 

[Chamber36]

I don't know what's holding me back

 

[Masculinity]

Well at the moment since I just moved its distance to the girls I used to game (1100 miles or so) and also I have to get out there to find new meat so to speak to begin from scratch.

Things I have overcome however are:
- Went from 290ish down to fluctuating between 210-220 depending on the time of year.
- PTSD from various events that I had to sort out due to a few events during the tiny bit I was in college.
- Had to overcome an anxiety disorder through medications for about a year while in therapy for the above mentioned PTSD until I was comfortable in my own skin.
- Had to change my opinion on women as I used to be a Captain Save a Ho (Mangina) because I believed the s**t my Mom told me as a kid.

Honestly I came from that annoying p whipped fat kid into a ****y and funny guy that can pick up a chick within 2-3 times of meeting her if I really want her .



I still suck at typing what I think easily but eh as long as you can speak it who cares right?

Good for you! I went from 220 to 175 and I know how hard it is to keep your weight down. It sounds like you have improved a lot. You already got the key, now you just gotta find fresh meat!

In my teens I found as a big problem to be unaware of the "fun subculture", im talking about clubs,bars, beach parties and parties in general.
I literally asked myself which one was the task or the goal to achieve there.

It seems those settings have particular rules that dont obey to logic and common sense as the work field, obviously those problems tend to disappear gradually from the end on high school/university.
It needs more social skills there than problem solving or planning.

I find myself to be totally incompetant in that field almost as a computer geek, thankfully Im really manly in all the other fields to that balance really good.
Everytime my gf's friends invite us to a damn club its always a pain in the ass still now,once used the drinking time and the smoking time (I dont smoke) I have to go back inside.

And one last thing, Im sure that if I were a western european or an american the low tolerance to stupid cvnts and their games would be a critic element as well.

It's another game inside bars, clubs, and parties; you are right. Just think of it as an accelerated life. If you don't go get what you want, someone else will take it away from you. I got many women taken away from me as the result of not doing anything & just standing like a chump on the dance floor.

The secret is just to have fun and not care about the women there. In fact, ignore them and you'll be amazed at how much attention you get. There is a point, of course, where you have to step up to the plate & approach. And if she rejects you then just assume she's a lesbian

 

[JPlaya]

My skin color and I haven't gotten as far as hugging a female yet.

 

[nismo-4]

I work and work out so much now I hardly have time for women.

I'm not a rich person, so I can't create a lifestyle that attracts a lot of females.

 

[dentaldoc]

At the time of my father passing away this past june I was seeing this girl for about seven months. She just so happended to drop the bomb 10 days after my dad died that she wants to get back with her ex..Idky but it has seriously screwed with my mind so bad that I think every girl I talk to now is just mind ****ing me. Its horrible I cant get over it, and havent gotten laid since july fourth weekend. I was always highly confident but this just screwed me in more ways than one.

 

[Smock]

Good thread.
-Parents
They think I am attracted to older women since I use them for confidence and energy boosters, be funny.
-Sister
Likes to intrude on me and other ****.
-Not having a car or full license
-A majority of my friends are lifeless fags. Or have no compassion to understand what I believe in concerning girls.
-Inability to seize opportunities right in front of me
The rest.

 

[the_great_gaia]

Currently I live in a West Texas, small hick town, and the females here are all extremely pathetic, and me being black really doesn't help at all.. fml.

 

[Konada]

1) Low self esteem due to being skinny (100lbs 5"6".) Now around 115-117 about 5 months of working out, gradually improving and gaining more confidence to talk to people.

2) Life is too busy to be hung up over women right now.

3) I find most women are homogenous in a way, nothing makes them attractive to me, beyond physical looks (narcissist?). I don't give a fvck about them as a result.

4) Past rejections have made me fear rejection, especially the gems I've went after in the past. Right now, I'm still having oneitis over a girl that rejected me fairly recently.

 

[Love Doctor Rx]

Myself