What is holding me back?

[SayWhat]

I have posted and started so many threads, I've read so much books and articles, but I can't seem to get a way out of my beta ways.

Every relationship I had (3 and I'm 27 now) were where the girl initiated and was clearly head over heels for me.

Every little bad event that happens in my life I lie awake for a week in my bed, like my lasted thread where some 7 year younger sous chef put me 'in my place' because of a wrong order...

Today I saw my ex again which I didn't see for over a month with her new guy and nothing changed, I still felt as bad as when she just dumped me. What did I do wrong and why is he better than me.

Spinning plates is no option, I am socially just not as 'normal' people even though everyone tells me I should have no problems getting a girlfriend. Well I'm living proof this is not the case. And honestly I don't know where to look even thoug I'm a waiter and meet a lot of people.

For more info you can search for my threads on this forum.

 

[amazingswayze]

Your glass is half-empty...

I have posted and started so many threads, I've read so much books and articles, but I can't seem to get a way out of my beta ways.

Spinning plates is no option, I am socially just not as 'normal' people even though everyone tells me I should have no problems getting a girlfriend. Well I'm living proof this is not the case. And honestly I don't know where to look even though I'm a waiter and meet a lot of people.

Do you really want to know what's holding you back?


You don't believe in yourself. You seem to think that your best years are in the past. Not true. You can still change.

Not all of us are born as social beings, I understand. The truth is, you don't have to be shy your whole life. Expand your comfort zone. Be bold. Do things that make you **** your pants. This makes all the difference. You can still change.

What you need to do is turn your life around. The simplest way to do this is to be positive. It takes some serious practice when you're used to being pessimistic.

Your life will only change if you want it to change. You have to take action. Start doing the things you love, speaking your mind, and growing a pair of balls. **** everybody else.

Time to be a man. :trouble:

 

[stevo]

Stop telling me what you don't do well, that's easy.

List what you actually do well.

Tell me. What are you doing right now to improve yourself?

Tell me. Are you where you used to be last year?

You think everyone here is in a relationship? You think having a woman or relationship would make you better?

If you feel sheety before a relationship you'll be terrible when you get in one.

 

[SayWhat]

In a way I want to be where I am right now, in a way not.

I landed my dreamjob this year and started with a hobby for which I saved a while. But this time last year I felt better emotional.

And being optimistic is hard and I don't know if it helps, I tried it for a while but nothing.

I feel no one likes me, I meet new people on a regular basis, but none of them become friends.