by R3N3G4D3 and tactic:
Lately there are more and more "tips" on SoSuave based on the concept that the ultimate goal of being a DJ is to get laid. The bible never states nor suggests that women are the key to happiness, and they're not. Nonetheless, it's obvious that at least 2/3 of the population on this website seems to think so. There are plenty of threads here already saying that women aren't everything and yet majority here doesn't get it. So why am I wasting time by starting another one? I'm not. This thread isn't about women, it's about the definition of the word Don Juan. By definition I don't mean what it's perceived as currently, but what it was originally meant to be, or what it should be at least.
First of all, what is meant by "the game"? The game isn't the way you approach a girl. The game is life. "WTF is he trying to say?", you might ask. What I'm saying is that DJ is a way of life, not a way to approach. If when you talk to your friends you act like a "nice guy", or stay silent most of the conversation, and then once you see an attractive girl stroll by you put on what you call "the game face" and start flirting with her and kinoing her to death, you're NOT being a DJ. DJ is not a part-time job, it's not a split-personality type thing, you're either in 24/7 or you're out.
There is another thing that has been stated countless times, yet for most of the people it comes in one ear and out the other. DJ is not a synonym for a55hole. When people read tips, they take them way too far. The bible says not to put women on the pedestal, but it does not say "dig a hole and throw them in there instead, covering them with mud". Yet, by some of the posts here it seems that that's how it's being interpreted. Neg-hits are used to throw a girl off a pedestal that she put herself on, not to make her want to commit suicide. "I like your outfit, my grandma has one just like it" is a neg-hit. "You're so ugly, your mother tried to strangle you with the umbilical cord" is an insult. Going out of your way to do favors for every girl is not DJish, but neither is ignoring all requests for help. If a person does favors for you, you should help them out too occasionally or else don't expect much help from them either. I'm not saying you have to hold doors for everyone, but if someone needs a favor and you know it wont hurt you to help them, you might as well do it. Nice guy treats himself like dirt, a55hole treats everyone else like dirt, and gets treated by others as dirt. DJ respects himself and others, and gets respected in return. Which brings me to my next point.
In order to have respect of others you must respect others. In order to respect others, you must respect yourself first. Look at the people who constantly insult everyone around them for example. Do they look confident? Do they seem cool? No? Why? Because they have no respect for themselves. It's simple, people insult others to conceal their own insecurities. And it's not that hard to notice either, so those of you constantly teasing everyone with every comment you make might want to think about this. There is nothing wrong with a little teasing, but if everything you say sounds like "YOUR MOM is ...", "You are a fag", "You have half-an-inch d!ck" you have insecurity issues (and btw, your jokes suck too). Guys who say "sorry" everytime someone looks at them the wrong way look pathetic, but those who stubbornly refuse to admit any of their mistakes cosntantly blaming others or trying to make up an excuse don't look much better either. Having respect for yourself and those around you means that you are not appologetic about every little thing you do, and yet you should be able to admit your own mistakes as opposed to saying that your little 3-year old brother was the one who mowed down the living room wall with your parents' car. The first step to being respected by others is to have respect in yourself, no one will bring it to you on a platter.
Moving on, what is being yourself? And do those who give the advice understand it? In theory, the advice works, but many people don't know what being themselves is. Many people who actually give this advice don't. The yourself part is the part of you that puts yourself first. That's what mother nature intended. Ask yourself this: "What do you want from life?" Money, power, comfort, respect, success, pleasure, fun, whatever it is they all have 1 thing in common, they're all for YOURSELF! When someone asks you what you want from life, you don't say "money for my neighbor across the street", you don't even care about that neighbor, heck, he still didn't return the mower he borrowed from you half a year ago. So your ultimate desire is for YOURSELF. Being a DJ is being true to yourself, doing what brings you joy, not what pleases others, not what pisses others off. That's what being yourself is. It's putting your own desires first. That's how nature intended it, survival of the fittest, when a lion sees a prey and another lion nearby, he'll fight for it so that he will have food tonight, he does not yield way to the other lion out of politeness and go hungry himself (nice guys don't survive in nature). Yet if the lion is stuffed, he will not go scare the prey off just so that the other lion won't get it (no a55hole behavior in nature). Everyone is selfish, accept it, only then you will be able to enjoy life. Those who delude themselves into thinking that they do things just for the sake of helping others only do so to make themselves feel bettr about themselves (which is once again their selfish desire to be praised by others).
"But this doesn't make sense" you might say, "how is this being yourself if I feel no need to act like that?" Very simply, you, just like so many others are victims of "the system". Our civilization is built like the world in "The Matrix". We are surrounded by invisible walls, we are pressured to act in "acceptable" ways, by the time we grow up we don't even question the system anymore, it becomes natural, or so it seems. "What walls? What is he talking about again? I'm not restrained, I can do whatever I want!" is probably what you're thinking. Ok then, imagine this scenario. A girl who is standing 5 feet from you drops a pencil and it rolls towards you, stopping right near your foot. You could ignore it ever happened and just stand there waiting for her to pick it up herself, this would earn you some a55hole points in her eyes. Trust me, she wont think "Omg, what a stud, he refused to pick up my pencil". You are expected to pick up that pencil, that's what the system forces into you, you are expected to hold doors, you are expected to pay for the dinner, you are expected to bring her flowers, that's what you're expected to do by the system. You are forced to be polite to others, you can't tell the person what you truly think about them to their face if you don't like them. Look, there is that kid again who still needs to take a shower from 2 years ago, and whose dressing style couldn't be beaten even by a potato sack. But can you come up to him and tell that to his face? Can you tell him that personally? What about a teacher, can you come up to your teacher and tell her "You are the worst b!tch I've ever seen"? As soon as she'll hear you say that she'll pull out her wheel of misfortune with prizes such as an F on the next test, a detention, an expulsion and many other exciting opportunities to screw your life over. Better yet, try saying that to your employer, and see how many seconds it takes before you are kicked out of the building with a big "FIRED" stamp on your forehead. The system forces you to obey, those who don't obey are punished by the system. It's just like the matrix, except the CIA guys don't bother jumping across the rooftops after you. But just like with the matrix, once you understand the system and understand the rules you realize that some rules can be bent, others can be broken.
The point is, we are influenced by this system so much everyday that we don't even know what being ourselves is. Being ourselves is not sitting in the corner peeking at the girl at the opposite part of the room trying to figure out if she glanced in our direction. a DJ is someone who can live his life the way he wants to, not the way the system wants him to.
And finally, don't ask approval for your every move on these boards. No one is perfect, those who don't take risks don't get anywhere. There is no such thing as perfect, no one is perfect, you can't be perfect. Don't ask things like "It's my first date, should I wear a green shirt or a red one?" Chances are she doesn't care, and neither should you, remember, you're doing this for yourself, not for her. Your main goal is to enjoy your life. A pro DJ is not someone who can come up to any girl and get her to fall in love with him in 5 minutes, it's someone who can recognize a potential rejection before it occurs and save himself the time, someone who doesn't hesitate. No one is perfect, no one gets accepted by everyone 100% of the time, but being a DJ mean not caring about the times you get rejected. If you buy 50 lightbulbs and 1 of them is broken, will you hang yourself? This is just like the lightbulbs. Life is a game, there is constantly something to try to improve in, even those who are considered the pros have more to learn. Remember, DJ is not a rank, it's a way of life.
Lately there are more and more "tips" on SoSuave based on the concept that the ultimate goal of being a DJ is to get laid. The bible never states nor suggests that women are the key to happiness, and they're not. Nonetheless, it's obvious that at least 2/3 of the population on this website seems to think so. There are plenty of threads here already saying that women aren't everything and yet majority here doesn't get it. So why am I wasting time by starting another one? I'm not. This thread isn't about women, it's about the definition of the word Don Juan. By definition I don't mean what it's perceived as currently, but what it was originally meant to be, or what it should be at least.
First of all, what is meant by "the game"? The game isn't the way you approach a girl. The game is life. "WTF is he trying to say?", you might ask. What I'm saying is that DJ is a way of life, not a way to approach. If when you talk to your friends you act like a "nice guy", or stay silent most of the conversation, and then once you see an attractive girl stroll by you put on what you call "the game face" and start flirting with her and kinoing her to death, you're NOT being a DJ. DJ is not a part-time job, it's not a split-personality type thing, you're either in 24/7 or you're out.
There is another thing that has been stated countless times, yet for most of the people it comes in one ear and out the other. DJ is not a synonym for a55hole. When people read tips, they take them way too far. The bible says not to put women on the pedestal, but it does not say "dig a hole and throw them in there instead, covering them with mud". Yet, by some of the posts here it seems that that's how it's being interpreted. Neg-hits are used to throw a girl off a pedestal that she put herself on, not to make her want to commit suicide. "I like your outfit, my grandma has one just like it" is a neg-hit. "You're so ugly, your mother tried to strangle you with the umbilical cord" is an insult. Going out of your way to do favors for every girl is not DJish, but neither is ignoring all requests for help. If a person does favors for you, you should help them out too occasionally or else don't expect much help from them either. I'm not saying you have to hold doors for everyone, but if someone needs a favor and you know it wont hurt you to help them, you might as well do it. Nice guy treats himself like dirt, a55hole treats everyone else like dirt, and gets treated by others as dirt. DJ respects himself and others, and gets respected in return. Which brings me to my next point.
In order to have respect of others you must respect others. In order to respect others, you must respect yourself first. Look at the people who constantly insult everyone around them for example. Do they look confident? Do they seem cool? No? Why? Because they have no respect for themselves. It's simple, people insult others to conceal their own insecurities. And it's not that hard to notice either, so those of you constantly teasing everyone with every comment you make might want to think about this. There is nothing wrong with a little teasing, but if everything you say sounds like "YOUR MOM is ...", "You are a fag", "You have half-an-inch d!ck" you have insecurity issues (and btw, your jokes suck too). Guys who say "sorry" everytime someone looks at them the wrong way look pathetic, but those who stubbornly refuse to admit any of their mistakes cosntantly blaming others or trying to make up an excuse don't look much better either. Having respect for yourself and those around you means that you are not appologetic about every little thing you do, and yet you should be able to admit your own mistakes as opposed to saying that your little 3-year old brother was the one who mowed down the living room wall with your parents' car. The first step to being respected by others is to have respect in yourself, no one will bring it to you on a platter.
Moving on, what is being yourself? And do those who give the advice understand it? In theory, the advice works, but many people don't know what being themselves is. Many people who actually give this advice don't. The yourself part is the part of you that puts yourself first. That's what mother nature intended. Ask yourself this: "What do you want from life?" Money, power, comfort, respect, success, pleasure, fun, whatever it is they all have 1 thing in common, they're all for YOURSELF! When someone asks you what you want from life, you don't say "money for my neighbor across the street", you don't even care about that neighbor, heck, he still didn't return the mower he borrowed from you half a year ago. So your ultimate desire is for YOURSELF. Being a DJ is being true to yourself, doing what brings you joy, not what pleases others, not what pisses others off. That's what being yourself is. It's putting your own desires first. That's how nature intended it, survival of the fittest, when a lion sees a prey and another lion nearby, he'll fight for it so that he will have food tonight, he does not yield way to the other lion out of politeness and go hungry himself (nice guys don't survive in nature). Yet if the lion is stuffed, he will not go scare the prey off just so that the other lion won't get it (no a55hole behavior in nature). Everyone is selfish, accept it, only then you will be able to enjoy life. Those who delude themselves into thinking that they do things just for the sake of helping others only do so to make themselves feel bettr about themselves (which is once again their selfish desire to be praised by others).
"But this doesn't make sense" you might say, "how is this being yourself if I feel no need to act like that?" Very simply, you, just like so many others are victims of "the system". Our civilization is built like the world in "The Matrix". We are surrounded by invisible walls, we are pressured to act in "acceptable" ways, by the time we grow up we don't even question the system anymore, it becomes natural, or so it seems. "What walls? What is he talking about again? I'm not restrained, I can do whatever I want!" is probably what you're thinking. Ok then, imagine this scenario. A girl who is standing 5 feet from you drops a pencil and it rolls towards you, stopping right near your foot. You could ignore it ever happened and just stand there waiting for her to pick it up herself, this would earn you some a55hole points in her eyes. Trust me, she wont think "Omg, what a stud, he refused to pick up my pencil". You are expected to pick up that pencil, that's what the system forces into you, you are expected to hold doors, you are expected to pay for the dinner, you are expected to bring her flowers, that's what you're expected to do by the system. You are forced to be polite to others, you can't tell the person what you truly think about them to their face if you don't like them. Look, there is that kid again who still needs to take a shower from 2 years ago, and whose dressing style couldn't be beaten even by a potato sack. But can you come up to him and tell that to his face? Can you tell him that personally? What about a teacher, can you come up to your teacher and tell her "You are the worst b!tch I've ever seen"? As soon as she'll hear you say that she'll pull out her wheel of misfortune with prizes such as an F on the next test, a detention, an expulsion and many other exciting opportunities to screw your life over. Better yet, try saying that to your employer, and see how many seconds it takes before you are kicked out of the building with a big "FIRED" stamp on your forehead. The system forces you to obey, those who don't obey are punished by the system. It's just like the matrix, except the CIA guys don't bother jumping across the rooftops after you. But just like with the matrix, once you understand the system and understand the rules you realize that some rules can be bent, others can be broken.
The point is, we are influenced by this system so much everyday that we don't even know what being ourselves is. Being ourselves is not sitting in the corner peeking at the girl at the opposite part of the room trying to figure out if she glanced in our direction. a DJ is someone who can live his life the way he wants to, not the way the system wants him to.
And finally, don't ask approval for your every move on these boards. No one is perfect, those who don't take risks don't get anywhere. There is no such thing as perfect, no one is perfect, you can't be perfect. Don't ask things like "It's my first date, should I wear a green shirt or a red one?" Chances are she doesn't care, and neither should you, remember, you're doing this for yourself, not for her. Your main goal is to enjoy your life. A pro DJ is not someone who can come up to any girl and get her to fall in love with him in 5 minutes, it's someone who can recognize a potential rejection before it occurs and save himself the time, someone who doesn't hesitate. No one is perfect, no one gets accepted by everyone 100% of the time, but being a DJ mean not caring about the times you get rejected. If you buy 50 lightbulbs and 1 of them is broken, will you hang yourself? This is just like the lightbulbs. Life is a game, there is constantly something to try to improve in, even those who are considered the pros have more to learn. Remember, DJ is not a rank, it's a way of life.
