What if your girlfriend did this...

[nan3109]

My girlfriend found out i have a bunch of porn on my computer. A month later she told me she and her roomate in college just put up a bunch of abercrombie pictures of guys half naked. What would you say to her? remain cool , or point out what she did stupidly?

 

[nan3109]

oh, she also put a bunch of condoms on the walls that hang from the ceiling and some other ****

 

[icepick]

So? At least she is not a dyke, eh?

 

[DJZ]

So you are saying that she only did it b/c she is trying to get back at you for having porn? Or are you just angry that she did it regardless of if you have the pr0n on your computer?

The Abercrombie pics I can understand her doing, but hanging condoms...that sounds really dumb.

 

[ultrashogun]

Let it be. If you want, hang posters of sexy chicks on your wall.

 

[bonjove]

If you are into that stuff yourself then why should you care or let it bother you?

 

[CaptainObvious#1]

Oh my God man! NEXT!!!!
Don't take that **** dude. CONDOMS ON THE WALLS!!! MAN!!!
How dare she do that! And pictures of guys?! What the!?
NEXT NEXT NEXT!!!!

 

[Ice Cold]

Now you have a perfect chance to convince yourself that the returning fox theory works.

Let's say you're the macho and totally respect yourself. The ideal Don Juan or PUA, who does not take any crap from women. (I am not personally attackin you, just illustrating my point. I am not that macho either and have to use the same logic when I "convict" the chick"


Am I am not talking about control here. Just mere EQUALITY!

In any relationship there should be boundaries. If the partners are equal, the boundaries should be equal.


You expect her to respect your privacy
You respect her privacy

Therefore she had no right to look through your computer.


Then, you are behaving rationally and mature
She should behave rationally and mature.

Therefore her putting condoms on the wall is too much


You do not engage in petty revenge. Therefore she mustn't do that.



You should call/email her and CALMLY say:

[name of the girl]

When I enter into a relationship, I have a certain respect for my partner. I understand that he has a right to privacy. I also show a certain level of maturity towards that person and should some differences arise I will talk to my partner about it. I feel this is the only way a healthy relationship can work.

What happenned last week surprised me greatly. I considered you to be a mature and respectful person, who doesn't engage in petty revenge. I never suspected you could act in such an immature manner. I have my computer and the information stored there is private. You have no business looking through it.

I am very disappointed in you and I can't trust you anymore. I need some time to re-think our relationship. I am very dissapointed.

nan3109

Dude - this is a SH1T TEST in it's purest form. She is manipulating you and restricting your freedoms. After that she will start turning you against your buddies and the next thing you know you'll be pvssy whipped and post here: "I slipped into AFC habits".


And this is not cruel in any way. It's just a bit of self respect and being a man. Yes, it required giving her a speech or writing an email, but this is what you have to do to keep her.

You can't ignore small stuff. Hitler started from small things too, if you want this analogy.

 

[Jake Steed]

She's just insecure.

Here's how female emotions work--She thinks if you are looking at pics of other women, you must be in love with those women and not with her.

I know it's stupid, but that's how women think.

I had a similar situation with a girl who liked me in college. I put pics up on my desk from Maxim of actresses I liked (inspiration for the late nights of work). This girl would tear down my pics every night after I went home. It escalated into this giant battle of the sexes, where she would even recruit a puzzy-whipped male friend of hers to do it for her.

The funny thing is, I had a gf twice as hot as her, and THAT was what the REAL issue was. She wanted me and was dying of jealousy. The best thing about it--my gf could care less if I looked at pics of girls, be it porn or Maxim. So I avoided your situation by choosing to date a girl who didn't care.

Sit your girl down and have a nice talk with her. Tell her porn is just a physical release all males need, and that it's totally separate from your true feelings for her. Tell her if she has an issue with you haveing porn, you are not compatible and you will be forced to dump her. Don't be mean about it. Be calm and talk to her as if she were your small child. College girls pretty much are anyways.

Jake

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by Jake Steed
Sit your girl down and have a nice talk with her. Tell her porn is just a physical release all males need, and that it's totally separate from your true feelings for her. Tell her if she has an issue with you haveing porn, you are not compatible and you will be forced to dump her. Don't be mean about it. Be calm and talk to her as if she were your small child. College girls pretty much are anyways.

Jake

Doesn't it seem a bit too apologetic?

[/quote]I had a similar situation with a girl who liked me in college. I put pics up on my desk from Maxim of actresses I liked (inspiration for the late nights of work). This girl would tear down my pics every night after I went home. It escalated into this giant battle of the sexes, where she would even recruit a puzzy-whipped male friend of hers to do it for her.

The funny thing is, I had a gf twice as hot as her, and THAT was what the REAL issue was. She wanted me and was dying of jealousy. The best thing about it--my gf could care less if I looked at pics of girls, be it porn or Maxim. So I avoided your situation by choosing to date a girl who didn't care. [/quote]
Muhahahha

So when you want to make your girlfriend jelous, you don't even have to go out with other chicks. All you have to do is hang a few pics.



I think it's because the girls always have someone imaginary who they're fall in love with. For example a chick I know who has a BF, has a crush on a local MP

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Ice Cold
Now you have a perfect chance to convince yourself that the returning fox theory works.

Let's say you're the macho and totally respect yourself. The ideal Don Juan or PUA, who does not take any crap from women. (I am not personally attackin you, just illustrating my point. I am not that macho either and have to use the same logic when I "convict" the chick"


Am I am not talking about control here. Just mere EQUALITY!

In any relationship there should be boundaries. If the partners are equal, the boundaries should be equal.


You expect her to respect your privacy
You respect her privacy

Therefore she had no right to look through your computer.


Then, you are behaving rationally and mature
She should behave rationally and mature.

Therefore her putting condoms on the wall is too much


You do not engage in petty revenge. Therefore she mustn't do that.



You should call/email her and CALMLY say:

[name of the girl]

When I enter into a relationship, I have a certain respect for my partner. I understand that he has a right to privacy. I also show a certain level of maturity towards that person and should some differences arise I will talk to my partner about it. I feel this is the only way a healthy relationship can work.

What happenned last week surprised me greatly. I considered you to be a mature and respectful person, who doesn't engage in petty revenge. I never suspected you could act in such an immature manner. I have my computer and the information stored there is private. You have no business looking through it.

I am very disappointed in you and I can't trust you anymore. I need some time to re-think our relationship. I am very dissapointed.

nan3109

Dude - this is a SH1T TEST in it's purest form. She is manipulating you and restricting your freedoms. After that she will start turning you against your buddies and the next thing you know you'll be pvssy whipped and post here: "I slipped into AFC habits".


And this is not cruel in any way. It's just a bit of self respect and being a man. Yes, it required giving her a speech or writing an email, but this is what you have to do to keep her.

You can't ignore small stuff. Hitler started from small things too, if you want this analogy.

Listen to Ice's advice. She's testing you by trying to push your buttons. You will look like a peon if you act like an AFC by nexting her or blowing up. Approach her as an adult, fvck doing it by email or phone, do it face to face and tell her and tell her exactly what was described in Ice Cold's post. However, be sure that you aren't giving your porn more attention than your girlfriend.

 

[Jake Steed]

"Doesn't it seem a bit too apologetic?"--Ice

I don't know where you got "apologetic" from that. I never said to be "apologetic". You're basically explaining something to her she doesn't understand (porn). Remember what I said about women's thought processes. Porn is a totally ALIEN concept to women. They don't even understand it.

Sending her an email is weak. You need to set her straight in person. Again, in case you kids weren't listening, you need to treat her like a child because she IS a child and she's acting childish.

Saying what she did was a "**** test" is over complicating things. This isn't a battle, this is all about her insecurities. Re-read my post again if you don't understand.

Jake

 

[Ice Cold]

Hello Jake. From what I've read from your posts, you give very sound advice.

Plus I think that both of us are telling the same thing to 3109 and have the same general idea. So I agree with you 95%

But the thing that seems apologetic to me is:

Sit your girl down and have a nice talk with her.

Basically it's the main part that I disagree with. You shouldn't have a nice talk with her. You should be stern and controlling, because she:

got upset
emotionally distanced yourself from you
making a huge fuss about one little thing
and her BEHAVIOUR demonstrates that she's ready to get rid of you

in my opinion, being nice is not the way to go

Tell her porn is just a physical release all males need, and that it's totally separate from your true feelings for her. Tell her if she has an issue with you haveing porn, you are not compatible and you will be forced to dump her

This sounds like an excuse. Do not threaten dumping her. This may put ideas into her head.

State that you have a right to watch porn, and she has to learn to accept it. Girls lack action, they just react to the environment. She won't be able to act and dump you. She'll react to your firm statement and will accept your rights.

Don't be mean about it. Be calm and talk to her as if she were your small child. College girls pretty much are anyways.

I agree with you 100% on this one.


Again man, it's not personal. I just want to discuss which ange to work it from.

I think that when you tell her that porn is just a physical release all males need, and that it's totally separate from your true feelings for her she'll start arguing like crazy and you'll have to come back to State that you have a right to watch porn, and she has to learn to accept it

But then again - what do I know? If it works for me, doesn't mean it works for you.