What if you tried to Kiss Her on First Date and she evaded the kiss

[giovannikast]

Is it right to try to kiss your target on the first date? We had a good time in a big park of waterfalls , I applied her a lot of CAF, kino, I could take her hand to walk, take her waist, but in the end when I tried to kiss her she evaded this.
Is it right to try to kiss her on the first date, I would like to read your opinions and advices, my friends.

Giovanni

 

[DonGorgon]

Then she does not like you...

 

[BeyondCharm]

giovannikast, you did nothing wrong.... Some women don't kiss on the end a first-date and trust me I have kissed a girl on a 2nd date that did not kiss on the first... However...

There is a possibility that she wasn't feeling you and you should just move on.

The last four first dates I went on, three had a kiss close and one had a hug close. The one with the hug puzzled me and I wasn't sure if she just wasn't feeling me or what, but that same weekend we went out again and there was a successful kiss close followed by her kissing me all on her own. She and I have lunch tomorrow

You're doin fine, that's my point. Continue escalating, creating interest and going for those kiss-closes. They are totally appropriate, especially if you see the "signs" and body language.

 

[BeyondCharm]

Well, I am one persistent mofo. The girl who hug closed me was definetely feelin me on the date so I knew that the hug-close was just one of those awkward moments, however, I did not go for the kiss-close, I took the hug closed and moved on. I kiss-closed on a day2. I've slowed my game down a lot since a year or two ago and started letting myself be patient. If she's willing to see you on a day2, you can still kiss-close, you just have to increase her IL and have fun!

Don't go into dates with the intention of k-close or f-close because people can see your intentions in the form of "needy desperation". Go and have fun and let those things happen naturally, you'll learn to read the signs with practice.

 

[ready123]

if you wanna get technical, you had an escalation problem

exactly how did you try to kiss her and how did she react?

 

[Jitterbug]

My last date finished in a hug close, I couldn't accept it and decided to take a gamble, she had gone back to her room right as I was on her door step leaving, I went back in tried to get a kiss failed, and left lol.
I don't want to waste my time so if I can't get a kiss on the first date move on?

That's the wrong time to go for the kiss, especially on the first date. It's only "the moment" for a kiss in Hollywood movies, and it's often a corny romantic comedy which resembles nothing much of reality.

If you want to kiss her, do it during the date, not at the end. It should be spontaneous, not cliche and predictable.

I've done k-close & f-close on first dates, but my new policy (just for fun) is to playfully create the tension as if I'm gonna kiss her, e.g playing with her hair, touching her cheek, looking into her eyes, going in 90% but then stop. I'm driving my first "test subject" wild. My goal is to make her jump me on the next date.

WTF is a hug-close? I hug & kiss the cheeks of pretty much every girl I meet the first time when we say goodbye at the end of the meet, regardless of whether I'm gonna be dating her or not. If you escalate from pretty much bugger all contact to a kiss, you're gonna get rejected. Warm her up for it.

And if all you get is a hug at the end of the date, make it a hug to remember. Lift her up and spin her around or something. She might be awkward because she's a girl, but you're the man, so don't let her awkwardness influence your frame. If you're comfortable with it, she will be, too. If you're awkward, guess what...

 

[BeyondCharm]

That's the wrong time to go for the kiss, especially on the first date. It's only "the moment" for a kiss in Hollywood movies, and it's often a corny romantic comedy which resembles nothing much of reality.

If you want to kiss her, do it during the date, not at the end. It should be spontaneous, not cliche and predictable.

I've done k-close & f-close on first dates, but my new policy (just for fun) is to playfully create the tension as if I'm gonna kiss her, e.g playing with her hair, touching her cheek, looking into her eyes, going in 90% but then stop. I'm driving my first "test subject" wild. My goal is to make her jump me on the next date.

WTF is a hug-close? I hug & kiss the cheeks of pretty much every girl I meet the first time when we say goodbye at the end of the meet, regardless of whether I'm gonna be dating her or not. If you escalate from pretty much bugger all contact to a kiss, you're gonna get rejected. Warm her up for it.

And if all you get is a hug at the end of the date, make it a hug to remember. Lift her up and spin her around or something. She might be awkward because she's a girl, but you're the man, so don't let her awkwardness influence your frame. If you're comfortable with it, she will be, too. If you're awkward, guess what...

I like the idea of the hug with lifting her up and spinning her around. I'll have fun with that.

 

[Mr. Me]

You next her.

The guys who posted that they didn't get a kiss at the first date but were successful with the second date were taking a chance. If it didn't work out, then they wasted a night and whatever the date cost them. It's up to you if you want to take another chance on someone who didn't kiss. Dates are supposed to have that sexual/romantic component, otherwise, you're just out being friends.

Now I'm also going to suggest that maybe all your kino and taking her hand to walk and taking her waist is a lot of touching on your part, and she ought to be touching you, not the other way around. I know you think kino's supposed to escalate interest, but it can turn off women. It only escalates interest IF they're interested first. And just because she's given you her number and has that date with you doesn't mean she's that interested, believe it or not. Or she could be interested but is losing interest during the date and not showing it. Women do that too. Depending on the gal, they'll let you put your arm around them and they'll laugh and smile and meantime, they're thinking, "Ewww. Can't wait until the night's over!"

But if you're hands off, playing it cool, maybe just offering your arm when you walk - and they're interested - they're going to start touching you. And if you hold back, they'll touch you more. You can work up a nice tension leading up to the goodbye kiss.

 

[Enryu]

Haha that happened on my first date ever....
its a really embarrassing story so i dont really want to tell it
But as it turned out the girl didnt mind at all i tried to kiss her while she refused but somehow i lost interest...

Dont make the same mistake as i did just pretend nothing happened and get her the next time DURING the date not at the end oh and dont forget that it is really hard to do it in a public place... so take her hand( literally!) and get her somewhere more private.

 

[BeyondCharm]

That's the wrong time to go for the kiss, especially on the first date. It's only "the moment" for a kiss in Hollywood movies, and it's often a corny romantic comedy which resembles nothing much of reality.

I think the right-time/wrong-time view on a k-close is a way of looking at things, but not the only way. What is right for you might be wrong for him and vice versa. Maybe there was no right time in this date and maybe there was. The thing we can be sure of is that confidence and positive fun energy will lead to successful k-closes.

 

[Enryu]

@oldschooler
as you should know women dont want to be seen as a slut.
They really dont like it to kiss for the first time while everyone can see her.
Of course on a big party etc. its a little bit more anonymous but still it is always better to take her hand and lead her somewhere else

 

[Mavrick]

Here's what you need to do. Go out on a second date and at some moment, try to k-close again. You give up after the second try, not the first. She might have some integrity, and if she does, this is the type of girl you want to date. So, try one more time then move on to the next.

 

[SexPDX]

I could just be that a lot of you guys are more persistent or risk-taking than I am but this just doesn't happen to me. I don't go for the kiss unless I KNOW it's going to work. And I don't think it is very difficult to tell either. You should just be able to tell from the way she looks at you, her body language and other cues that things are headed that direction. I guess it is hard to explain to someone who may not have experienced it many times.

Mr. Me is right on about the touching. She needs to you be touching YOU, no the other way around. If that's not happening, that speaks volumes about where you are at with her.

-PDX

 

[BeyondCharm]

Once again, I must voice my experience.

The lack of touching is not a clear sign of lack of interest in being kissed or in liking you. Some people are not touchy and in those cases you must be alert for other signs and cues such as tone of voice, topics of conversation, general vibe, etc.

It is nice when she is clearly giving you signs by touching you, it makes the "read" a lot easier, but it is not necessary.

Practice is the key here.

 

[ready123]

I don't go for the kiss unless I KNOW it's going to work. And I don't think it is very difficult to tell either. You should just be able to tell from the way she looks at you, her body language and other cues that things are headed that direction.

exactly

it's a calibration thing though, and I think it's something you learn to sense with experience. for me, I look at the right time to kiss a girl is when both of us KNOW that the kiss is coming. our faces are right next to each other, there's a warm silence. I'm not jumping at her from 4 feet away

some guys totally miscalibrate thinking, now I gotta kiss her, I'm goign for it, oblivious to the vibe of the interaction and stuck inside their head. meanwhile her mind is somewhere else, of course she's gonna evade

 

[Jitterbug]

Once again, I must voice my experience.

The lack of touching is not a clear sign of lack of interest in being kissed or in liking you. Some people are not touchy and in those cases you must be alert for other signs and cues such as tone of voice, topics of conversation, general vibe, etc.

It is nice when she is clearly giving you signs by touching you, it makes the "read" a lot easier, but it is not necessary.

Practice is the key here.

Fair enough. I'm a touchy-feely guy so I only date touchy-feely girls. I find it too hard to game frigid/shy chicks.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

Wait wait . I couldnt read all responses but i saw some of them writing NEXT HER and some SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU .

Not true .

Some of the girls dont wanna give it all in the first day. They learned that way .It might be religion or they dont wanna come up as sluts on first date.
Everything that has value doesnt come easy .

No need to next her . But anyway , keep spinnin plates .

 

[Omen]

I had met this girl at a convention once, MANY years ago, and she lived about 130 or so miles away, and she came back to my place after the night cause she was too tired to go home. I think it was like her, her friend, and me and my friend just all chilled, watched a movie and then crashed. Her and I were a little touchy, but nothing crazy. Time went buy, the morning came.... She left.

I went to see her a few days later, tried to kiss her, and she DUCKED. I was like WTF!!! I had never had that happen in my life. Now I was younger, so it was new and odd.

After that incident and what not it was basically over. Later down the road she turned really weird and one of those female... what ever you call them. Female rights women or some bull-sheeat. She never shaved her arm pits or anything. She was also on meds too when she was actually more a girl.

I was warned to stay away from her, but I didnt listen, and well, I should have. She was PSYCHO.

Now I wouldn't NEXT a woman just cause she wont kiss on the first date, because I have had many where I dont kiss a woman. Some dont feel like they want to do that with someone they JUST met. Some warm up after a few dates. Some would probably jump someones bone the first date.

EACH WOMAN IS DIFFERENT. And you cant say just cause one doesn't kiss you, or you dont kiss her, that it is over. You have to "feel" the situation. I've had a date go really well, but never kissed her. But then down the road I did, and it was fine.

If a woman is all over you, there is a sign. If she grabs your hand on the way out of a date, is touching you, whispering in your ear, or what ever, you KNOW you will be fine kissing her. If she gives you no attention, dont even try it. You can usually sense that stuff. DAMN... this girl doesn't even know im here, and is chatting with her girl friend more than me. Move on....

Then you find the girls that you dont kiss, then do, and go... I've been waiting for you to kiss me.

You wont win at them all, and you take chances. But if you just dont feel it, dont do it, cause then you'll be nervous and all of that crap.

 

[IPalindromeI]

If I was really into her and the date went otherwise ok I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her out again. If she does it a second time, I'd simply move on. It all depends on you and how into her you are. If you are only so-so, then regardless of what sort of girl it is - move on.