What if...fear of success or just fear?

[Old Balls]

I think I have found my new self-imposed mind fvck sticking point. Forgive me as I will be thinking out loud as I type. Feel free to ignore, troll, advise or vent with me as I try to work this out.

I was in a big box store today to pick up a few items and maybe pick up a honey as well. This store is well known with the ladies, and I could smell the estrogen dripping from the ceiling as soon as I walked in. I knew I was going to turn some heads as I seemed like the only male in the place. The place was teaming with ladies of all ages, shapes and sizes getting their panties destroyed by the shopping induced lubrication. The world was my oyster for the next 20 minutes or so and I was in the land of milk and honey.

I had recently accepted the Cold Approach Challenge proposed in another thread, so I knew I was gonna be in business. All I had to do was find what I came to get and find some female(s) that caught my eye. There had to be at least one that gave me the tingles to get the party started. So I began my search.

Something strange happened. Well, maybe not so strange to me. I just happened to really pay attention to what I was thinking. As I made my scans, I would naturally disqualify the obvious land whales but I also found myself disqualifying others for mystifying reasons. I spotted the first prospect. She was an attractive brunette, late 20's. She was a ways away, but I liked what I saw so far. I decided to make my way to her. As I was getting closer, she turned and began walking away from me (she didn't notice me coming) and something happened.

I was about 30 ft away and I was checking her out from behind. This is where my mind started playing games with me. Although she was quite attractive, I was rationalizing that her a$$ was too big. I'm talking like 0.0002 cm too big. So for some reason I started thinking "What if I make my move and she likes me and things go well? What if I will have a girl who's a$$ is too big that I can't shake. Besides, her jeans are stupid. Why would I want that? Oh, what is that? She is too short. What if I have a short girl with a big a$$ and stupid jeans bothering me. She will probably be a stage 5 clinger anyway. What if I can do better!" And I let her go without doing sh!t.

I played this same stupid game with myself for the next 2 opportunities. They were "too old" (30's) and "probably smoked" (unconfirmed of course). Why would I want that in my life? I asked myself. I left the land of milk and honey with no milk or honey.

Is this sh!t normal? Am I really afraid of attracting the wrong type or am I just being a giant flapping pvssy? Does anyone else do this? If so, did you fix this or just wait for perfection to cross your path? This is something I need to get a handle on. I want to be picky, but this is ridiculous. I feel that if she is not an 11 out of 10 as far as my preferences, then she is a waste of time. It's not like I am marrying these girls after the first interaction. Something has got to give. Or does it? I guess it all depends on what I really want out of the deal. And to be honest, when that 11 does cross my path I approach <50% of the time (only if she is solo) with nervous energy and a fast beating heart and sweat on my forehead most of the time, but it does happen. I've won some and lost most. Am I looking for the one unicorn or am I looking to just have normal man/woman interaction? These are questions I must answer for myself evidently.

Thanks for your patience and maybe you guys have something to say about this...

 

[Chamber36]

I have the same problem. Saw a girl at the supermarket checking out a certain foreign drink that I happen to know all too well - perfect opener! I just kept walking... Granted my mind was not focused on seduction.

Dunno. On the one hand I think its a shame but when you really meet a girl you like you dont want to be rusty.

I think it would be good to chat with them and seduce them a bit for the sake of practice.

i suppose you just keep progressing till you manage a same-day-daytime-instadate-lay.

Looking for excuses never helps. Being mentally steady does though. The rudder must be steady. The mind must be calm and the path clear. I have been working out since jan/feb and reading books too, just to get a sense of confidence again. So I dont mind a few slipups. Single life is peaceful, and deserves to be enjoyed and capitalized on in it's way. So be scrutinus, but make sure when you find that angel, that you are ready for action.

We can do it !

PS: assuming all else is on point you could have tried an "indirect opener".

You must believe in yourself and have a sense of purpose in what you are doing. Believe in the divinity within your heart, the goodness within you, your inner strength, that you are an addition to another person's life, carry yourself with pride, consider what women may want. Depending on her type she will probably want a man that she can learn something from or that she can see potential in or look up to, that is willing to be strong, decisive and yet empathetic. I mean that's how I see things. You can also be coy. Be playful and mature at the same time. Women give you the opportunity to witness something we as men don't have. Do you trust yourself to coax this feminine quality out of them?

I dunno whether I am making sense. That's sort of how I see it.

 

[Old Balls]

I have the same problem. Saw a girl at the supermarket checking out a certain foreign drink that I happen to know all too well - perfect opener! I just kept walking... Granted my mind was not focused on seduction.

Dunno. On the one hand I think its a shame but when you really meet a girl you like you dont want to be rusty.

I think it would be good to chat with them and seduce them a bit for the sake of practice.

i suppose you just keep progressing till you manage a same-day-daytime-instadate-lay.

Looking for excuses never helps. Being mentally steady does though. The rudder must be steady. The mind must be calm and the path clear. I have been working out since jan/feb and reading books too, just to get a sense of confidence again. So I dont mind a few slipups. Single life is peaceful, and deserves to be enjoyed and capitalized on in it's way. So be scrutinus, but make sure when you find that angel, that you are ready for action.

We can do it !

PS: assuming all else is on point you could have tried an "indirect opener".

You must believe in yourself and have a sense of purpose in what you are doing. Believe in the divinity within your heart, the goodness within you, your inner strength, that you are an addition to another person's life, carry yourself with pride, consider what women may want. Depending on her type she will probably want a man that she can learn something from or that she can see potential in or look up to, that is willing to be strong, decisive and yet empathetic. I mean that's how I see things. You can also be coy. Be playful and mature at the same time. Women give you the opportunity to witness something we as men don't have. Do you trust yourself to coax this feminine quality out of them?

I dunno whether I am making sense. That's sort of how I see it.

Hey Chamber, yes you are making perfect sense and I appreciate your input.

I think you are right on the money when you say that it would be good to chat with them and seduce them a bit for the sake of practice and when the angel comes I will be ready for action.

Also about the mind being calm and not going through the sabotage of internal dialogue until the opportunity passes. I like that. That is something I need to work on. Just breathe and let nature take her course.

I feel like that in these instances where she is not my 11/10 that the push for a parking lot insta-lay or something of that nature is a good goal. I mean, if it doesn't happen then oh well, no big loss there. If it does, then add the routine to the quiver of arrows and rejoice haha.

I gotta say that I am more of the playful type rather than the educator, so this does fair well with the "caught up in the moment" type of ladies and coaxing the femininity out of them is something I need to make sure I do with every interaction. Sometimes I am too rigid however and forget to make this part of the plan. You bring up great points and I appreciate that.

 

[Chamber36]

Hey Chamber, yes you are making perfect sense and I appreciate your input.

I think you are right on the money when you say that it would be good to chat with them and seduce them a bit for the sake of practice and when the angel comes I will be ready for action.

Also about the mind being calm and not going through the sabotage of internal dialogue until the opportunity passes. I like that. That is something I need to work on. Just breathe and let nature take her course.

I feel like that in these instances where she is not my 11/10 that the push for a parking lot insta-lay or something of that nature is a good goal. I mean, if it doesn't happen then oh well, no big loss there. If it does, then add the routine to the quiver of arrows and rejoice haha.

I gotta say that I am more of the playful type rather than the educator, so this does fair well with the "caught up in the moment" type of ladies and coaxing the femininity out of them is something I need to make sure I do with every interaction. Sometimes I am too rigid however and forget to make this part of the plan. You bring up great points and I appreciate that.

I am glad we can relate here.

Good luck.

 

[corrector]

I think you are right on the money when you say that it would be good to chat with them and seduce them a bit for the sake of practice and when the angel comes I will be ready for action.

Just make sure you screen them and make sure that nobody is bat-sh1t crazy. You don't want to end up with a stalker.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

What if...fear of success or just fear?

Remember that:

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free!