High school... was not the best time for me.
I made a lot of empty promises to myself and kept hoping for things to change on their own...
They didn't, but then they did. At first I thought I just got lucky.
The thing is, if I hadn't changed, I would still be the shy-@ss loner I was less than a year ago. The change in me caused my "good luck".
I know it's not what you want to hear, but high school is probably one of, if not, the hardest places to change yourself. I spent over a year of my life suffering while looking for a quick fix. NO SUCH THING. The only way is through hard work. It will hurt like a b!tch, but you will get b!tches because of it.
In order to become the man, the don juan, the pimp, the badass mothafuka, etc.(whatever you see your ideal self as ) you need to get over yourself. After all, 9 times out of 10, you're the only one standing in your own way, while everyone else is busy with their bs.
***IMPORTANT***:
(I'm going to assume that you are at least in decent physical shape, have adequate hygene, and can dress somewhat fashionably. IF YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN CARE OF THESE THINGS YET... PLEASE DO. Then come back to this. You can do them both at the same time I guess, but it's easier to polish the outside before the inside.)
1. Let go.
- What I mean here is that you should (at least for a while), completely detach yourself from reaction to others. In other words, turn off your natural sonar. RDS calls this "pinging".
For example: Telling your parents that you're leaving to go somewhere.
Subconciously you are seeking your parents approval. (Just an example, be respectful to your parents and let em know)
Same goes with your teachers. Unlike your parents, you can disrespect your teachers if needed. If you ever feel the need to take a leak during class, just GET UP, WALK OUT THE DOOR and DO YOUR BUSINESS!
I spent about 2 weeks in almost complete silence. When I would walk through school, I wouldn't even acknowledge anyone walking by. Haha
A bit extreme, but it helped quite a bit.
If things like this seem too rude or too extreme, you can try other things at first.
Some of mine:
Sitting in a country club parking lot and blasting the dirtiest music I had
Waiting an extra few seconds at the stoplight while driving (get honked at! wait some more... then go!)
Going into women's clothing stores and just standing there, doing nothing
Literally staring people down (Anyone you catch giving you a dirty look, show em who's boss)
Showing up at a party where you only know one person and not even hanging out with him
Walking around like you're high
The point of all this is so you DON'T CARE what people think of you AT ALL!
Your ego will fight you the whole way, but remember --> NO ONE IS ABOVE OR BELOW YOU. YOU SIMPLY ARE!
You have the same essence in side of you as any other person. You are unique, but people are more similar than you believe.
Watch other people and you will see pieces of yourself, past, present and future in their behavior.
This is very important, especially because you can now...
2. Become calibrated
- If you are now comfortable in any situation, you can now easily act effectively. In a relaxed state, you will learn quickly without even noticing.
This is much harder to explain, probably because it happened to me almost automatically after I stopped seeking approval. But to be fair a good explanation is DO WHAT YOU WANT (UNLESS IT FEELS WRONG).
By TRUSTING YOUR GUT (Yeah Pook!!!) you can read the situation like a book.
Your gut will tell you what you want. Your gut will also tell when when to take action.
This has happened to me too many times to count and probably has happened to you also.
You are faced with an opportunity and you don't act fast enough and you miss it!
To be continued...
I made a lot of empty promises to myself and kept hoping for things to change on their own...
They didn't, but then they did. At first I thought I just got lucky.
The thing is, if I hadn't changed, I would still be the shy-@ss loner I was less than a year ago. The change in me caused my "good luck".
I know it's not what you want to hear, but high school is probably one of, if not, the hardest places to change yourself. I spent over a year of my life suffering while looking for a quick fix. NO SUCH THING. The only way is through hard work. It will hurt like a b!tch, but you will get b!tches because of it.
In order to become the man, the don juan, the pimp, the badass mothafuka, etc.(whatever you see your ideal self as
) you need to get over yourself. After all, 9 times out of 10, you're the only one standing in your own way, while everyone else is busy with their bs. ***IMPORTANT***:
(I'm going to assume that you are at least in decent physical shape, have adequate hygene, and can dress somewhat fashionably. IF YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN CARE OF THESE THINGS YET... PLEASE DO. Then come back to this. You can do them both at the same time I guess, but it's easier to polish the outside before the inside.)
1. Let go.
- What I mean here is that you should (at least for a while), completely detach yourself from reaction to others. In other words, turn off your natural sonar. RDS calls this "pinging".
For example: Telling your parents that you're leaving to go somewhere.
Subconciously you are seeking your parents approval. (Just an example, be respectful to your parents and let em know)
Same goes with your teachers. Unlike your parents, you can disrespect your teachers if needed. If you ever feel the need to take a leak during class, just GET UP, WALK OUT THE DOOR and DO YOUR BUSINESS!
I spent about 2 weeks in almost complete silence. When I would walk through school, I wouldn't even acknowledge anyone walking by. Haha
A bit extreme, but it helped quite a bit.
If things like this seem too rude or too extreme, you can try other things at first.
Some of mine:
Sitting in a country club parking lot and blasting the dirtiest music I had
Waiting an extra few seconds at the stoplight while driving (get honked at! wait some more... then go!)
Going into women's clothing stores and just standing there, doing nothing
Literally staring people down (Anyone you catch giving you a dirty look, show em who's boss)
Showing up at a party where you only know one person and not even hanging out with him
Walking around like you're high
The point of all this is so you DON'T CARE what people think of you AT ALL!
Your ego will fight you the whole way, but remember --> NO ONE IS ABOVE OR BELOW YOU. YOU SIMPLY ARE!
You have the same essence in side of you as any other person. You are unique, but people are more similar than you believe.
Watch other people and you will see pieces of yourself, past, present and future in their behavior.
This is very important, especially because you can now...
2. Become calibrated
- If you are now comfortable in any situation, you can now easily act effectively. In a relaxed state, you will learn quickly without even noticing.
This is much harder to explain, probably because it happened to me almost automatically after I stopped seeking approval. But to be fair a good explanation is DO WHAT YOU WANT (UNLESS IT FEELS WRONG).
By TRUSTING YOUR GUT (Yeah Pook!!!) you can read the situation like a book.
Your gut will tell you what you want. Your gut will also tell when when to take action.
This has happened to me too many times to count and probably has happened to you also.
You are faced with an opportunity and you don't act fast enough and you miss it!
To be continued...
