What has she done?

[RoDude]

Hi mates,

I met this girl online, after a breakup had her reeling for support. Our friendship grew to something profound and have been together for close to an year.

We keep fighting, and on one such occasion we broke up. I have always been a jealous and suspecting partner (reaction from past experiences). During that breakup she lied to me to be visiting one of her girlfriends and went all the way to Houston from CA to visit her male friend she had known from school. She substantiated her lie saying she lied because I would suspect that she was going to have sex with him. I hacked into her mail and figured she was going to Houston and though she was furious she accepted her lies and said she wanted to get out and not spend the weekend wallowing in self pity (since we were breaking up then). I also figured she got herself registered into one of the dating sites, and on the verge of everything was very apologetic, got that houston guy to write to me saying "Nothing happened between them" (though she insisted I dont ask him anything, as that would spoil her relationship with him).

I am a very orthodox guy, a virgin before I met her. She also insists she had sex with only 2 guys before me, which I strongly doubt. I mean she says she had sex when she was 18 and then got physical with 3 guys and had sex with her ex; (after a gap of 2.5 years) a relationship that lasted 18 months. Is this possible, or is she inventing stories??

Having said all this, she seems to be an insecure woman albeit a good one. She makes me her center all the time, and is willing to move to my country when I go there. We belong to totally different cultures. Everytime I fancy my future with her, I doubt those two nights she spent with Mr.Houston. Do you think she would have got hanky panky, she swears she did not.

Please help, I would be ever grateful to you guys.

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RoDude

 

[OzzyBoy]

It's about trust. I would believe her but if i found out she cheated then there would be a problem. If she swears she didn't then i think she's telling the truth.

 

[chlywly]

Doesn't sound like its right for you, move on and get over it.

 

[NewMan]

It sounds like your insecure just as much as she is.

We keep fighting, and on one such occasion we broke up. I have always been a jealous and suspecting partner (reaction from past experiences). During that breakup she lied to me to be visiting one of her girlfriends and went all the way to Houston from CA to visit her male friend she had known from school.

You guys had BROKEN up.

A couple of things.

1) if you break up with a girl, then realise thats she's now a free and single woman - be man enough to deal with this. Strong enough to deal with this.

2) Why did you break up with her if you didn't want to? It sounds like you still wanted her to not meet any other guys - to still act like she was with you.

3) it's so easy in todays society to meet people and then discard them over the smallest thing. Sometimes you have to work through issues - it's just how it is.

I hacked into her mail and figured she was going to Houston and though she was furious she accepted her lies and said she wanted to get out and not spend the weekend wallowing in self pity (since we were breaking up then).

Sounds liek you have some issues. You hacking into someone else's email - trying to chat her in a lie. Talk about AFC, low self esteem.

Your putting all your eggs in one basket with this chick. If you break up with her, then get out there and do sh#t yourself.

I am a very orthodox guy, a virgin before I met her. She also insists she had sex with only 2 guys before me, which I strongly doubt. I mean she says she had sex when she was 18 and then got physical with 3 guys and had sex with her ex; (after a gap of 2.5 years) a relationship that lasted 18 months. Is this possible, or is she inventing stories??

So you think she's a liar? Of course this is possible. How are we to know if she's inventing stories?

My advice is this. Don't get so hung up on the past, on what she's telling you - whether she's BSing you. Don't go looking for problems. If a problem comes up - if she lies to you then deal with it then and there - but looking into her past to "check up" on her - thats only going to fvck with your head. Then instead of getting on with whats important - you and her and right now - your busy trying to figure out if she fvcked 2 or 3 guys.