what happens when women regret their decision

[Denny19]

They blame other people

who could she blame? and for what

 

[wifehunter]

I don't think so either....Corey Wayne says some come back up to a year later, but i think, for whatever reason, she's gone.

I'm not mad, nor do i take it personal, but its her loss.....and I'm not bitter toward her....if i did see her at the dance place maybe i would talk to her briefly, but instead of me asking her to dance like before, she will be watching me from the bar dance with other latin women.

I think what still gets me sometimes, is i want to know what I did so i can grow from it. Many people i have talked to told me I played it perfect..i initiated dates and showed interest, but not in a beta way. I never blew her phone up, i gave her plenty of space, didn't act needy or any of that. So with all that said, it's hard to learn when you don't know what went wrong.

I gotta tell you, I'm in a similar situation (3 months). It hurts but, let them spin plates!!! If it's meant to be, it'll happen!!! And if they do come back, (their idea) things will definitely be different framewise. Because you won, she's sure about her decision! There's no one above you. You are on the pedestal. That's where you want to be!

 

[Trainwreck]

Women just like most humans don't regret, they blame others for their consequences of bad decisions. If a woman wakes up, she will wake up and marry some good old beta provider that just wants to put a ring on it. However, most women will end up single moms, ****** over by some divorce, single cat woman, trapped in a **** marriage, or worse and still blame others for their current position in life.

 

[Trainwreck]

who could she blame? and for what

republicans, men, affirmative action,liberal, mexicans, other women, sexism, and much more. There's a whole lot of **** to blame on lol.

 

[Floydispink01]

Women are like cats. If they go off and Roam the neighbourhood then they can f.ck off for good. Don't even allow the false hope off her coming back into your life.

You don't tolerate b.ll**** like this. Why? Cos life is too short. Seen too men succumb to this.


Good luck. Plenty of opportunities out there. Just got a grab them.

 

[Reykhel]

I gotta tell you, I'm in a similar situation (3 months). It hurts but, let them spin plates!!! If it's meant to be, it'll happen!!! And if they do come back, (their idea) things will definitely be different framewise. Because you won, she sure about her decision! There's no one above you. You are on the pedestal. That's where you want to be!

Are you fvcking serious???!!!

This is the sort of bull****e false hope that Corey Wayne sells and this type of poster perpetuates.

This guy got dumped three months ago, is still hurting, is not only hanging on to the false hope that she may comeback , but if she does come back he will be the one on the pedestal!!

Talk about delusional fvcking thinking.

 

[Denny19]

Are you fvcking serious???!!!

This is the sort of bull****e false hope that Corey Wayne sells and this type of poster perpetuates.

This guy got dumped three months ago, is still hurting, is not only hanging on to the false hope that she may comeback , but if she does come back he will be the one on the pedestal!!

Talk about delusional fvcking thinking.

If my girl came back....the first thing I would be thinking to myself is: She is looking for an ego boost. Whether I'm right or wrong, thats the first thing I would be thinking. Why? because she let 4 months go by and I don't hear anything from her, now all the sudden she reaches out?

Is it possible that she regretted her actions? yea i guess....but I wouldn't trust that she's reaching out and something good will come of it. I will immediately think she is probably feeling a certain way and is either gauging to see if my still interested or just plain wants to see if she still has me...aka ego stroke.

Ive said this many times on this thread, I am in no way hoping or waiting for this girl to come back. The point of the thread for me is to learn. I want to know if and what went wrong. And if the answer is i did nothing wrong, then thats fine, then i can not learn much from the situation. I'm trying to learn the reasoning for her actions. I know she's a woman, and this is what they do, but i was looking to see if there was something deeper I'm missing

 

[wifehunter]

Hoping in a human is always a losing proposition. They will dissapoint you every time. Better to put your hope in something higher.

 

[jester1x]

4 months? She ain't coming back.

You never know because I had a woman apologize to me face to face after 8 months had passed since we last spoke to each other. Didn't hear a peep in all of that time either.

I invited her to lunch one Saturday and basically told her off indirectly in quite a polite manner. She asked way too many questions about a relationship regarding her female "friend" and her boyfriend.

Basically, I figured out I was a sexless substitute for the married man she was hooking up with but could not be seen in public with. Told her her "friend" was wasting her time with this man. He is already getting what he wants from her which is sex. I advised her to advise her friend to stop sleeping with this man to test his real interest in her. My lunch date got heated after hearing this and went on a rant in the restaurant. She then proceeded to tell me to never call her nor text her again as we left the restaurant. Then 8 months later...but she never admitted or denied it was her ever.

Ask yourself this question...if this hot woman is so great then why doesn't any man want to keep her permanently!? The problem isn't the men she sees but it lies with/within her. My lunch date was divorced due to her husband's cheating. But, that may not necessarily be the case or the truth. There are always two sides to a story. Also, she is the one that invited me out on the first date.

You probably did do everything right but some women are just plain defective in some serious psychological way. My guess is that is what you have witnessed and experienced.

I don't believe in ever burning bridges with a woman. People change and see things in a new light. But, if they don't get real with themselves (and with you) then it will never work out with you or any man over the long haul.

Sounds like you got your s*** together though and I don't mean your car and condo. Just enjoy life since you now know the type of woman and/or situation to avoid in the future.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You were too sentimental. You don't talk about family in a club-like scenario/event. You focus on fun ****. Mostly doing rather than talking. You just didn't give her a great big spark like some others may have. I think it is best if you stop thinking about her.

 

[fastlife]

The biggest red flag I see in this whole post is that it's been 4 months and you still even remember a woman you went on two dates with and didn't even lay. Two dates. No sex. Four months. Say it over and over and over. Do you realize how much scarcity you're in right now? What have you done in the past four months to improve your love life?

You didn't make enough of an emotional impact on her in two dates for you to even register on her reality. She won't ever mourn the loss. She doesn't even know who you are. A good rule of thumb to live by is that you don't even exist to a girl until you sleep with her--so don't take it personally.

You have two options: forget her entirely (she won't come back). Or stop waiting around (passive) and text her to hangout (active). One of two things will happen: she'll get back to you and you can sleep with her and actually register in her reality or she won't and you'll have your answer. I know what I'd do, and I've had plenty of success doing it But stop living in paralysis.

 

[Denny19]

You were too sentimental. You don't talk about family in a club-like scenario/event. You focus on fun ****. Mostly doing rather than talking. You just didn't give her a great big spark like some others may have. I think it is best if you stop thinking about her.

I didnt talk about family at the dance place, i danced with her a s had fun. We talked about that when we were at dinner getting to know eachother.

Im not disagreeing with you, but she met me at dance place twice and we went out for dinner twice. Something must have went right i kissed her both dates.

Im not thinking about her in terms of me missing her or wanting her back. I want to learn; but like somebody said, its nothing i did wrong... somw women are just defected, she may be one

 

[Denny19]

The biggest red flag I see in this whole post is that it's been 4 months and you still even remember a woman you went on two dates with and didn't even lay. Two dates. No sex. Four months. Say it over and over and over. Do you realize how much scarcity you're in right now? What have you done in the past four months to improve your love life?

You didn't make enough of an emotional impact on her in two dates for you to even register on her reality. She won't ever mourn the loss. She doesn't even know who you are. A good rule of thumb to live by is that you don't even exist to a girl until you sleep with her--so don't take it personally.

You have two options: forget her entirely (she won't come back). Or stop waiting around (passive) and text her to hangout (active). One of two things will happen: she'll get back to you and you can sleep with her and actually register in her reality or she won't and you'll have your answer. I know what I'd do, and I've had plenty of success doing it But stop living in paralysis.

Thats the thing, im telling the story to learn. Im not hung up on her, nor waiting for her to come back. I just wanted to know what went wrong for the future.

And my plan of action is to do nothing

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

O

I didnt talk about family at the dance place, i danced with her a s had fun. We talked about that when we were at dinner getting to know eachother.

Im not disagreeing with you, but she met me at dance place twice and we went out for dinner twice. Something must have went right i kissed her both dates.

Im not thinking about her in terms of me missing her or wanting her back. I want to learn; but like somebody said, its nothing i did wrong... somw women are just defected, she may be one

Ohhhhh ok that makes a lot more sense. I misinterpreted.

It is true that a lot of times it really isn't anything you did wrong. Women are just crazy when it comes to attraction.

 

[sazc]

@sazc The first date went very well....she flaked in between 1st and 2nd date. When she did, i laid low and did nothing. Remember at that time i was studying for my exam focusing on my purpose, so i made that the priority, but I still showed her interest and tried to set up dates. After I walked, she then texted me the next day to offer second date. We went on second date....things went very well again. It was after second date that she began to hold my arm and get closer to me...She told me she had a great time....we kissed...she texted me when she got home and told me again what a great time she had. In fact during date #2, she set up date #3.

The next 6 days I just focused on studying for my exam....and I did not hear from her. After a week after our second date, I asked her if she wanted to get together and she told me she was at the beach. Then the next day, she flaked on date #3 that we had set up for that weekend.

Now at this point, i said to myself, I'm walking and not putting up with this.... if she wants to talk to me she will have to contact me. 9 days went by and i did absolutely nothing....and thats when she reached out with the text asking about my studying and saying she may come to the dance place that night.

So this was all back in august....her bday was in september, i contemplated sending Bday text, but then came to my senses and did nothing....my bday was in october and she sent me FB happy bday...again, i did nothing.


So this thread is not about "what should i do?" "Do i still have a chance"?......F-that. She blew it in my eyes. I bring way more to the table than she does. She has looks but not sure what else more. Again, we only went out twice.

The whole thing just doesn't make a lot of sense to me...My conclusion is she had interest and wasn't used to a guy like me....and wanted me to chase her. Well I'm not chasing anybody. I will initiate and try to make a date, but no way will i ever chase anybody, ever.

Since all this, I am happy to say that all my studying paid off because I passed my board exam, i have a great job at a prestigious Cancer Center as a nurse practitioner. I have my own condo (she still lives in the upstairs apt of her parents house). I have fun hobbies like salsa dancing, playing guitar etc....she drinks and smokes occasionally and goes to bars. So this is real no loss for me...I just want to know if i did anything wrong because i want to learn from it

So, the only thing that struck me when I first read this post, and since it's still a live thread ill comment on it....mind you, it's not the popular mantra round here so please try not to jump on me too heavily.....

Considering the kino, and the kissing, I'm wondering if being silent for those 6 days, she felt like you were ultmately sending a message of "I'm really not that into you". Remember, women love attention. I do understand it's a balancing act. Too much attention is a turn off, but no attention can imply indifference.

I think you should have reached out via text during those 6 days of studying for the exam and, on day 2 or 3 of studying, sent a simple "I'm going to be MIA, focusing on studying for my exam, I'll see you Yday". That would have been simple and enough to let her know that you are solid on the next date and it communicates why you are MIA. If she gets chatty back at you you can always entertain for a line or two and then say "I do really have to focus on my studying, let's save conversation and catch up for the date on Yday"

Maybe the other fellas can jump in and refine what I have said, offer their 2 cents, etc.

 

[sazc]

Ohhhhh ok that makes a lot more sense. I misinterpreted.

It is true that a lot of times it really isn't anything you did wrong. Women are just crazy when it comes to attraction.

@Denny19
It's such a delicate balancing act. I dont envy you guys. Females are so widely varied, you just never know. The most important thing to remember is that, as long as you arent being a total beta chump, her lack of interest most likely has nothing to do with you.
Even with what I said above, about sending a text on day 2 or 3 of the 6 that you were quiet, as an adult she also could have allowed the silence and then, on the next date, casually tossed out "wow, you've been awfully quiet lately, what have you been up to?" Your response about studying, should have been enough to let her (insecure self) know that you have priorities at the moment, and your silence had nothing to do with her and/or the value you place on the budding relationship. In the end you really have to place value on your priorities and let everything else, including women, fall into place.

And try to go in with the mind frame that things will work out when they are supposed to work out.

 

[Denny19]

@Denny19
It's such a delicate balancing act. I dont envy you guys. Females are so widely varied, you just never know. The most important thing to remember is that, as long as you arent being a total beta chump, her lack of interest most likely has nothing to do with you.
Even with what I said above, about sending a text on day 2 or 3 of the 6 that you were quiet, as an adult she also could have allowed the silence and then, on the next date, casually tossed out "wow, you've been awfully quiet lately, what have you been up to?" Your response about studying, should have been enough to let her (insecure self) know that you have priorities at the moment, and your silence had nothing to do with her and/or the value you place on the budding relationship. In the end you really have to place value on your priorities and let everything else, including women, fall into place.

And try to go in with the mind frame that things will work out when they are supposed to work out.

@sazc

Its near impossible to balance. I KNOW she had a great time with me, especially after 2nd date because thats where i felt her get the closest to me. Her body language spoke for itself,

And yes i was thinking the same thing regarding not texting for next 6 days. Because after i reached out on the 7th day to ask for get togethet, the next day is when she canceled date #3 because she said she had to work.


BUT, here is why i dont think the lack of text did it. Because after she cancelled date #3 because of work and didnt offer reschedule, i went ghost.

She then reached out to me 9 days later asking about my studying and telling me she may come to dance place that night.

So i dont think it bothered her much because she wouldnt have reached out if she was so offended. The point that she reached out at that point validates that there was still interest at that point.

I replied with a flirtatious text and said "in that cAse i will save you a dance " She replies "deal "

So at that point, everything seemed fine, then she no showed and the rest is history.

And also i know women love attention, and i gave it to her when i spent time with her. I held doors open, paid for dinner as i should, and kissed her very passionately to the point where she complimented me on my kissing.

But its a fine line between making her feel special, and being beta... and i feel i did fine in making my intentions known with her and not being beta at all.'

The whole thing just doesnt add up, but it may just be that she is a defected woman like somebody said and that maybe i didnt do anything wrong. But thats why im here talking about. It becaise i want opinions as to how i can improve

 

[sazc]

you are right, given the sequence of events, the whole thing doesn't add up. In this case, you need to understand, it's not you, it's her. Taking her behavior at face value, she was definitely sending mixed signals. That tells me that she is unsure if she wants to get closer - but this "closer" has to do with a female feeling secure enough to open up and be vulnerable. That said, it really takes a month or two of dating for a female to assess if she is ready to get vulnerable. sex may happen before she opens up like that. the only thing you can do to get a female to
that place is create feelings of safety for her. You didnt have that opportunity because she didn't give you enough time. To me that says that the possibility of having to open up to someone was what was scaring her away. In this case, it's not you. You didn't do anything wrong, she isn't ready.

 

[Denny19]

you are right, given the sequence of events, the whole thing doesn't add up. In this case, you need to understand, it's not you, it's her. Taking her behavior at face value, she was definitely sending mixed signals. That tells me that she is unsure if she wants to get closer - but this "closer" has to do with a female feeling secure enough to open up and be vulnerable. That said, it really takes a month or two of dating for a female to assess if she is ready to get vulnerable. sex may happen before she opens up like that. the only thing you can do to get a female to
that place is create feelings of safety for her. You didnt have that opportunity because she didn't give you enough time. To me that says that the possibility of having to open up to someone was what was scaring her away. In this case, it's not you. You didn't do anything wrong, she isn't ready.

I think thats the most logical explanation i heard. And it makes perfect sense now that i think about. As good looking as she is, you can see she had insecurities. Its probably why she drinks often. I did what i could to make her feel safe and comfortable. I think she wasnt ready.