what happens when women regret their decision

[Denny19]

we've all been flaked on one time or another

we've all had women who we thought were interested, then either went cold or starting sending mixed signals

my question is, what happens when the girl realizes you were a catch and regrets her actions?

this could come after she's dated beta's...or could come after you walked away from her flakiness and did not chase her (the opposite of what she expected)

what happens when all the dust settles, and she thinks back to her time with you and regrets letting a catch like you get away?

do they continue to stay away as they are afraid of reaching back out and getting rejected?
or do they eventually all come back at one point or another?

I'm just curious....i know people would say "why do you care, if she flaked just walk". I know all that...and I did. This is just a question i have based on other peoples experience and opinions.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

we've all been flaked on one time or another

we've all had women who we thought were interested, then either went cold or starting sending mixed signals

my question is, what happens when the girl realizes you were a catch and regrets her actions?

She will reach back out... That's what happens. It will be a stronger pull on her, if she see's you are in good with another babe.

In the case of a partier, someone always drunk or high, they may never come to the realization till they are sober, like completely sober for some weeks.

this could come after she's dated beta's...or could come after you walked away from her flakiness and did not chase her (the opposite of what she expected)

what happens when all the dust settles, and she thinks back to her time with you and regrets letting a catch like you get away?

do they continue to stay away as they are afraid of reaching back out and getting rejected?
or do they eventually all come back at one point or another?

No, they will usually reach back out. Thing about it, and other guys will chime in. Many will realize they made the mistake, want you back... But once they get you, it is common for the old relationship dynamics to return. Even if they come in intending to do well. The boundaries they used to violate need to be completely closed and you would walk now if she did it.

I'm just curious....i know people would say "why do you care, if she flaked just walk". I know all that...and I did. This is just a question i have based on other peoples experience and opinions.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They blame other people

This never accepting responsibility is a typical quality in the "hot girl" so sought out on this site... There are women more loyal than most men out there. They just won't appear as hot as the selfish hot girl...

 

[Denny19]

interesting

were going on 4 months since i walked from a super super hot flake. Our last contact was her reaching out to me telling me she may meet me at this salsa place i go to on wednesdays if she got out of work early. She never showed and haven't heard from her since...this was in august. Up to that point we went on 2 date (kissed on both). But she flaked a couple of times, actually cancelled a date. She sent me happy bday FB post in october, but other than that...nothing. Im just curious if she is going to reach out in the future, especially since this was 4-5 months ago.

She is very pretty, and knows it...however she does like to drink and smokes occasionally. I do neither of these, however i have fun hobbies like salsa dance and play guitar. Basically if we were both to go to a bar, she would be the one sitting at the bar and i would be on the dance floor.

Im not waiting for anything to happen with this girl, i have walked away from her, i don't care how hot she is. She flaked a couple times and thats enough for me. But I'm curious to see if she will reach out. I doubt she will as she will fear being rejected. But if a women really thought a guy was a catch, and didn't realize it until he walked away, will they reach out? or let their pride get in the way and just do nothing?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

interesting

were going on 4 months since i walked from a super super hot flake. Our last contact was her reaching out to me telling me she may meet me at this salsa place i go to on wednesdays if she got out of work early. She never showed and haven't heard from her since...this was in august. Up to that point we went on 2 date (kissed on both). But she flaked a couple of times, actually cancelled a date. She sent me happy bday FB post in october, but other than that...nothing. Im just curious if she is going to reach out in the future, especially since this was 4-5 months ago.

She is very pretty, and knows it...however she does like to drink and smokes occasionally. I do neither of these, however i have fun hobbies like salsa dance and play guitar. Basically if we were both to go to a bar, she would be the one sitting at the bar and i would be on the dance floor.

Im not waiting for anything to happen with this girl, i have walked away from her, i don't care how hot she is. She flaked a couple times and thats enough for me. But I'm curious to see if she will reach out. I doubt she will as she will fear being rejected. But if a women really thought a guy was a catch, and didn't realize it until he walked away, will they reach out? or let their pride get in the way and just do nothing?

She might be doing something else. Don't worry about her. If she cared she would've reached out or stopped thru. Do other things.

 

[Scars]

Women 90% of the time will reach back out.. as soon as things stop working out with her new dude, she feels lonely/horney, or she see's you doing well in life, being your career, or success with other women, they come crawling back to you like ****roaches. Don't give in. If it didn't work the first time, what makes you think it will work again? All the old bull****, resentment, and everything you hated about each other before will surface eventually. Do yourself a favor and keep exes/flaky woman at a distance and keep moving my friend.

 

[old_skoolr]

Women 90% of the time will reach back out.. as soon as things stop working out with her new dude, she feels lonely/horney, or she see's you doing well in life, being your career, or success with other women, they come crawling back to you like ****roaches. Don't give in. If it didn't work the first time, what makes you think it will work again? All the old bull****, resentment, and everything you hated about each other before will surface eventually. Do yourself a favor and keep exes/flaky woman at a distance and keep moving my friend.

Ignore that, let them reach out, but make sure you invite them over to your place, tell them you just wanna watch a movie, crack open the box of wine and slowly make a move. Take her to the bedroom and fvck her brains out, then the next morning tell her she has to leave and that you only want to be friends. At least with this way, you'd get laid out of it.

The logic is that if she is reaching out to you after discarding you, shes feeling insecure, if you can take advantage of that and throw in a bit of alcohol...it'll be the easiest lay you'll ever have.

 

[Reykhel]

Never considered it.

It sounds like an unhealthy thought pattern. Talk about avoidance of the present moment.

 

[bigneil]

As Corey Wayne says, you must love in a way such that the other person feels free. Women are like cats. Sometimes they go and roam the neighborhood and you can't chase after them. They will come back and sit on your lap when they feel like it.

Women always second guess their decisions so if her decision was to avoid you, you need to make her decision final and let her experience separation anxiety (which is your best shot at increasing her desire to be with you).

Then wait until she reaches out.

 

[Denny19]

As Corey Wayne says, you must love in a way such that the other person feels free. Women are like cats. Sometimes they go and roam the neighborhood and you can't chase after them. They will come back and sit on your lap when they feel like it.

Women always second guess their decisions so if her decision was to avoid you, you need to make her decision final and let her experience separation anxiety (which is your best shot at increasing her desire to be with you).

Then wait until she reaches out.

im familiar with Corey Wayne, he makes a lot of sense. This thread was not a "what should I do" thread. There is only 1 thing to do, and thats walk and don't look back.

But I'm curious as to whether the really hot ones, who probably have a lot of options....every come back after realizing they messed up with you

and if so, when is the usual time frame? in my case, its been about 4 months....shes 30 years old, very attractive. Probably never had a guy walk away from her like I did....many tell me she didn't know how to handle a guy like me.

Corey wayne always talks about a guy and his 'purpose' and never let a woman distract you from it. Well when i took her out, i was in the process of studying for my Nurse Practitioner Board Exam. So after our second date, i didn't contact her for the rest of the week (about 6 days) because i was focused on studying...also in this time she did not reach out either. So I called her after a week and asked if she wanted to meet up, and she said she was already at the beach. I said no problem....literally did nothing.....9 days later she reached out asking me how studying was going. The fear of loss was setting in for her at this point. Then goes on to tell me she may meet me at the place we originally met at for some dancing, if she got out of work early. I said no problem, but i go to this place ever wed so she knew i was going with or without her.

And she did not show and thats the last i left off. Now some people would want to know what happened? get closure? Because its very odd that she contacted me to meet me, didn't show....and never hear from her again (except Birthday post on FB). Then again, she's a woman, so not that surprising.

But i don't give a $hit about closure....i have no time for this. And this is a girl i was really really into. I happen to be very picky, and this girl did it for me. However, i don't care how good looking, I'm not sitting around for that behavior. No thanks. So i laid low and did nothing.

Thats why Im asking do they come back? and if so how long it takes.....not because i want her to, I'm just curious to know what woman do in a situation like this,

 

[sazc]

@Denny19 if a girl realizes what she missed, she will most definitely reach back out.

There is a difference between the female who flaked before the first date, she probably doesn't know you and reaching back out is more of an attention seeking behavior. Or, if the first date occurred, and she flaked on the second date, and then comes back around, the question you must ask your self is "what level of quality was the first date? " could she have realized in hindsight you were the kind of guy she was looking for? This is a long shot, but may be worth a little time.

There is no set time frame for return. This is why it is advised to move on with your focus. Never waste time "waiting" Always forward moving.

As far as the barfly chick goes, she will be calling, eventually. From what you said, IMO, It doesn't sound like YOU would be happy LTR with her, not enough in common. However, plate status, definitely.

Good luck!

 

[bigneil]

im familiar with Corey Wayne, he makes a lot of sense. This thread was not a "what should I do" thread. There is only 1 thing to do, and thats walk and don't look back.

But I'm curious as to whether the really hot ones, who probably have a lot of options....every come back after realizing they messed up with you

Thats why Im asking do they come back? and if so how long it takes.....not because i want her to, I'm just curious to know what woman do in a situation like this,

Of course, as long as you were one of her better options. It should be like any relationship. Of course, if by "hotter ones" you mean you think she is hotter than you, then you need to improve. The really hot ones take 2 weeks to come back in my experience.

 

[wifehunter]

Yeah, it's a waiting game, in the meantime you're better off seeing other women and working on you. That way, you'll be ready when she comes around all misty eyed and hunting you down, kissing the ground that you walk on, etc.

I hate it when they want me to chase them, there's nothing good that can come of it, other than more practice at walking away.

I feel like I might disappear permanently... I'm a ghost most of the time!!! But hey, I got sh!t to do.

 

[Denny19]

@Denny19 if a girl realizes what she missed, she will most definitely reach back out.

There is a difference between the female who flaked before the first date, she probably doesn't know you and reaching back out is more of an attention seeking behavior. Or, if the first date occurred, and she flaked on the second date, and then comes back around, the question you must ask your self is "what level of quality was the first date? " could she have realized in hindsight you were the kind of guy she was looking for? This is a long shot, but may be worth a little time.

There is no set time frame for return. This is why it is advised to move on with your focus. Never waste time "waiting" Always forward moving.

As far as the barfly chick goes, she will be calling, eventually. From what you said, IMO, It doesn't sound like YOU would be happy LTR with her, not enough in common. However, plate status, definitely.

Good luck!

@sazc The first date went very well....she flaked in between 1st and 2nd date. When she did, i laid low and did nothing. Remember at that time i was studying for my exam focusing on my purpose, so i made that the priority, but I still showed her interest and tried to set up dates. After I walked, she then texted me the next day to offer second date. We went on second date....things went very well again. It was after second date that she began to hold my arm and get closer to me...She told me she had a great time....we kissed...she texted me when she got home and told me again what a great time she had. In fact during date #2, she set up date #3.

The next 6 days I just focused on studying for my exam....and I did not hear from her. After a week after our second date, I asked her if she wanted to get together and she told me she was at the beach. Then the next day, she flaked on date #3 that we had set up for that weekend.

Now at this point, i said to myself, I'm walking and not putting up with this.... if she wants to talk to me she will have to contact me. 9 days went by and i did absolutely nothing....and thats when she reached out with the text asking about my studying and saying she may come to the dance place that night.

So this was all back in august....her bday was in september, i contemplated sending Bday text, but then came to my senses and did nothing....my bday was in october and she sent me FB happy bday...again, i did nothing.


So this thread is not about "what should i do?" "Do i still have a chance"?......F-that. She blew it in my eyes. I bring way more to the table than she does. She has looks but not sure what else more. Again, we only went out twice.

The whole thing just doesn't make a lot of sense to me...My conclusion is she had interest and wasn't used to a guy like me....and wanted me to chase her. Well I'm not chasing anybody. I will initiate and try to make a date, but no way will i ever chase anybody, ever.

Since all this, I am happy to say that all my studying paid off because I passed my board exam, i have a great job at a prestigious Cancer Center as a nurse practitioner. I have my own condo (she still lives in the upstairs apt of her parents house). I have fun hobbies like salsa dancing, playing guitar etc....she drinks and smokes occasionally and goes to bars. So this is real no loss for me...I just want to know if i did anything wrong because i want to learn from it

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I have thought about this. I have realized that she only regrets it because you are the next best thing. If she sees someone else take an interest in her who just so happens to be better than you, then she will leave in a heartbeat. This means that it is not in her character to be nice to you or to adore you or anything, it is only because you have what she wants (status, value, etc).

This shows her insincerity towards you. Screw women like this, they will suck you dry. But if you don't give them what they want and hold a strong frame, then she will turn society against you so that you will give her what she wants. Let me give you an example:

Remember a time when you tried making a friend or tried talking to someone you didn't really know and they gave you the cold shoulder because they didn't know you? And remember how once they saw that you actually had a lot of friends then they suddenly became your best friend and pretended to know you? This is the same situation as when a woman realizes that you are a great catch, or 'the next best thing'. They only like you because you have what they want (in the case of this example, it was status).

 

[Denny19]

I have thought about this. I have realized that she only regrets it because you are the next best thing. If she sees someone else take an interest in her who just so happens to be better than you, then she will leave in a heartbeat. This means that it is not in her character to be nice to you or to adore you or anything, it is only because you have what she wants (status, value, etc).

This shows her insincerity towards you. Screw women like this, they will suck you dry. But if you don't give them what they want and hold a strong frame, then she will turn society against you so that you will give her what she wants. Let me give you an example:

Remember a time when you tried making a friend or tried talking to someone you didn't really know and they gave you the cold shoulder because they didn't know you? And remember how once they saw that you actually had a lot of friends then they suddenly became your best friend and pretended to know you? This is the same situation as when a woman realizes that you are a great catch, or 'the next best thing'. They only like you because you have what they want (in the case of this example, it was status).

I think you hit it on the head. Honestly, i don't know if this woman is capable of every showing a guy true affection or ever being secure enough to act on her true feelings

She was born in Ecuador, and stayed there for 12 years with her grandmother while her parents came to US. She then moved here when she was 12 and told me she her parents were basically strangers as she was raised in Ecuador by her grandmother. She butted heads with her parents. She then went on to tell me she didn't talk to them for a year over something with her ex boyfriend. Something happened where her mom took the bf's side over her daughters...somethign to that affect.

So here is a woman, who appears to not have that close of a relationship with her parents, hence the drinking, bars and smoking. Now this is based on the fact that what she's telling me is true. She could be fabricating things to try and make me feel bad for her, who knows. But as pretty as she is, she def appears to have insecurities, although she tries to hide them well.

So you may be right.. And the car i was driving before I met her was a 2000 honda civic that was burning antifreeze. I had to put 1/2 gallon of antifreeze in every 2 days. I did this for months before deciding on a getting a new car. I went to Lexus dealership and got a 2015 Lexus IS F sport. And I got it a week before I met this girl, so she only saw the Lexus, she didn't see the Civic. I have a good job, i have my own place and i have a nice car, but i worked very very hard for everything I got. I received nothing growing up. I worked 2-3 jobs, took out student loans, and sacrificed a lot of leisure time to get to this point in my life.

So with all this said....does this girl cut her losses and just stays distant. Or does she wake up one day, when she realizes she blew it with a catch and reach out?

again, not saying i want her too or I'm waiting for it..I'm trying to understand where/if i went wrong and trying to understand women behavior (if thats possible)

And again, If i could pin point to something on the time we spent together that was "off" I would say it. I honestly can't think of any awkward convos, or bad times that me and her ever had. Thats why the whole thing doesn't add up

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I think you hit it on the head. Honestly, i don't know if this woman is capable of every showing a guy true affection or ever being secure enough to act on her true feelings

She was born in Ecuador, and stayed there for 12 years with her grandmother while her parents came to US. She then moved here when she was 12 and told me she her parents were basically strangers as she was raised in Ecuador by her grandmother. She butted heads with her parents. She then went on to tell me she didn't talk to them for a year over something with her ex boyfriend. Something happened where her mom took the bf's side over her daughters...somethign to that affect.

So here is a woman, who appears to not have that close of a relationship with her parents, hence the drinking, bars and smoking. Now this is based on the fact that what she's telling me is true. She could be fabricating things to try and make me feel bad for her, who knows. But as pretty as she is, she def appears to have insecurities, although she tries to hide them well.

So you may be right.. And the car i was driving before I met her was a 2000 honda civic that was burning antifreeze. I had to put 1/2 gallon of antifreeze in every 2 days. I did this for months before deciding on a getting a new car. I went to Lexus dealership and got a 2015 Lexus IS F sport. And I got it a week before I met this girl, so she only saw the Lexus, she didn't see the Civic. I have a good job, i have my own place and i have a nice car, but i worked very very hard for everything I got. I received nothing growing up. I worked 2-3 jobs, took out student loans, and sacrificed a lot of leisure time to get to this point in my life.

So with all this said....does this girl cut her losses and just stays distant. Or does she wake up one day, when she realizes she blew it with a catch and reach out?

again, not saying i want her too or I'm waiting for it..I'm trying to understand where/if i went wrong and trying to understand women behavior (if thats possible)

And again, If i could pin point to something on the time we spent together that was "off" I would say it. I honestly can't think of any awkward convos, or bad times that me and her ever had. Thats why the whole thing doesn't add up

Does she know of your career and has she actually gotten to know you well or have you just been acquaintances for a short bit?

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

im familiar with Corey Wayne, he makes a lot of sense. This thread was not a "what should I do" thread. There is only 1 thing to do, and thats walk and don't look back.

But I'm curious as to whether the really hot ones, who probably have a lot of options....every come back after realizing they messed up with you

and if so, when is the usual time frame? in my case, its been about 4 months....shes 30 years old, very attractive. Probably never had a guy walk away from her like I did....many tell me she didn't know how to handle a guy like me.

Corey wayne always talks about a guy and his 'purpose' and never let a woman distract you from it. Well when i took her out, i was in the process of studying for my Nurse Practitioner Board Exam. So after our second date, i didn't contact her for the rest of the week (about 6 days) because i was focused on studying...also in this time she did not reach out either. So I called her after a week and asked if she wanted to meet up, and she said she was already at the beach. I said no problem....literally did nothing.....9 days later she reached out asking me how studying was going. The fear of loss was setting in for her at this point. Then goes on to tell me she may meet me at the place we originally met at for some dancing, if she got out of work early. I said no problem, but i go to this place ever wed so she knew i was going with or without her.

And she did not show and thats the last i left off. Now some people would want to know what happened? get closure? Because its very odd that she contacted me to meet me, didn't show....and never hear from her again (except Birthday post on FB). Then again, she's a woman, so not that surprising.

But i don't give a $hit about closure....i have no time for this. And this is a girl i was really really into. I happen to be very picky, and this girl did it for me. However, i don't care how good looking, I'm not sitting around for that behavior. No thanks. So i laid low and did nothing.

Thats why Im asking do they come back? and if so how long it takes.....not because i want her to, I'm just curious to know what woman do in a situation like this,

4 months? She ain't coming back.

 

[Denny19]

Does she know of your career and has she actually gotten to know you well or have you just been acquaintances for a short bit?

we talked a lot on the 2 dates we went on.....and when she came to meet me at the dance place twice we talked....

i only used the phone to set up dates, no chit chatting or texting back and forth. And yes she knows what i do for a living and that I was studying for my boards. We talked about families...thats when she was telling me she was raised by her grandmother and didn't come here until she was 12 and her parents were like strangers etc

I spoke with her about my family as well...wanted to leave past relationship talk out of it, however she did reveal a little about what happened with her previous LTR. I did not talk about my past relationships.

 

[Denny19]

4 months? She ain't coming back.

I don't think so either....Corey Wayne says some come back up to a year later, but i think, for whatever reason, she's gone.

I'm not mad, nor do i take it personal, but its her loss.....and I'm not bitter toward her....if i did see her at the dance place maybe i would talk to her briefly, but instead of me asking her to dance like before, she will be watching me from the bar dance with other latin women.

I think what still gets me sometimes, is i want to know what I did so i can grow from it. Many people i have talked to told me I played it perfect..i initiated dates and showed interest, but not in a beta way. I never blew her phone up, i gave her plenty of space, didn't act needy or any of that. So with all that said, it's hard to learn when you don't know what went wrong.