What happened?

[Acsaid10percent]

Met a girl last week - took her out and had a good time. Plenty of flirting, touching and eventually kissing.

She told me to message her that night but I didn't bother.

The next day she messaged that she had a great time last night and told me to have a good week. I replied the same and told her to have a good one also.

4 days later I text her and ask what days she is free this week as I would like to take her out again.

She's read the message and hasn't even responded. This was 3 days ago. Anyone experienced this?

 

[ZTIME]

Met a girl last week - took her out and had a good time. Plenty of flirting, touching and eventually kissing.

She told me to message her that night but I didn't bother.

The next day she messaged that she had a great time last night and told me to have a good week. I replied the same and told her to have a good one also.

4 days later I text her and ask what days she is free this week as I would like to take her out again.

She's read the message and hasn't even responded. This was 3 days ago. Anyone experienced this?

When a girl says "have a good week", she's implying she won't see you for at least a week.

When you respond with the same "have a good week", your implying you won't see her for at least a week.

4 days later you back pedal and ask her what days she's free. This makes it seem like you have nothing going on and are open to see her anytime she chooses.

Notice anything wrong with this scenario?

 

[pyros]

I totally disagree with ZTIME.

OP did nothing wrong. It is just that she's more interested in other affairs (ie, other guy/s). Or maybe she's about to die, who knows?
The thing is that she's, now, not interested.
Just forget about her and do not obsess about it.

This happens many times to every guy that meets/dates many women.
Nothing you can do about it. If she contacts you again fine, if not, fine also.

 

[Glassguy]

Some people may disagree, but after a good date, and I am still interested and she obviously is as well, it makes no sense to wait around 4 days or a week to communicate. You are just showing that you are either adhering to rules, not that interested, and giving her time to go chase after someone else.

Why not carry the momentum from the date over instead of letting it fizzle out and essentially start over when you do text/call?

 

[Acsaid10percent]

Thanks for the responses guys. I let it wait a few days because I was busy working away on a big project. Maybe I killed the momentum who knows.

Didn't think I back pedalled to be honest though. Took a girl our early last week then asked her out the following week.

Will explore other options now and forget about her.....Shame really as she seemed pretty keen.

 

[The Duke]

She likely has other options that she deems better than you. Don't put too much faith in what women say. Judge them by their actions, not their words.

 

[SuckItUp]

Some people may disagree, but after a good date, and I am still interested and she obviously is as well, it makes no sense to wait around 4 days or a week to communicate. You are just showing that you are either adhering to rules, not that interested, and giving her time to go chase after someone else.

Why not carry the momentum from the date over instead of letting it fizzle out and essentially start over when you do text/call?

I agree with Glassguy here. She told you she had a good time without being prompted. Ideally, contacting her within 24 hours of her message regarding having a good time was the best move. Setting something up for the following week would have covered all bases.

 

[Poon King]

I never ask women when they are "free" before making plans. I decide when I want to see them and invite them to meet me. Is your schedule really that wide open? Loser alert.

To answer your question: It seemed like her interest level was sky high at the end of your first date (and yours was too, otherwise you wouldn't of created this thread). When you waited around to message her after showing strong sexual attraction on the date.. it probably lead her to believe you were either playing games or too chicken sh!t to take what you wanted.

When women suspect you are playing games.. they will often respond by playing games back. This is what her 3 day non-response was. To see how you would react (chase or ignore). Ultimately, its a move to force you to reveal yourself because she obviously got your text.

However, keep in mind that non-toxic women who are emotionally stable do NOT play the non-response game. This chick is probably a wh0re. Personally, I would not analyze her too much. Just try to pork her in a week or so and see what happens.

 

[Acsaid10percent]

I never ask women when they are "free" before making plans. I decide when I want to see them and invite them to meet me. Is your schedule really that wide open? Loser alert.

To answer your question: It seemed like her interest level was sky high at the end of your first date (and yours was too, otherwise you wouldn't of created this thread). When you waited around to message her after showing strong sexual attraction on the date.. it probably lead her to believe you were either playing games or too chicken sh!t to take what you wanted.

When women suspect you are playing games.. they will often respond by playing games back. This is what her 3 day non-response was. To see how you would react (chase or ignore). Ultimately, its a move to force you to reveal yourself because she obviously got your text.

However, keep in mind that non-toxic women who are emotionally stable do NOT play the non-response game. This chick is probably a wh0re. Personally, I would not analyze her too much. Just try to pork her in a week or so and see what happens.

Thanks for the insights guys. Yeah I should of been more specific when setting up the next date but didn't think much of it at the time...not like I've done now!

Oh well, I'll just chalk it off and lesson learnt.

I won't show any reaction to her. Know better than that - will just leave her be and move on.

 

[JonnyD123]

I never ask women when they are "free" before making plans. I decide when I want to see them and invite them to meet me. Is your schedule really that wide open? Loser alert.

Strongly disagree with this. If they can't make it to meet you then what? You hope they respond with a different day that fits yours? I find its better to calibrate your open days after finding out what hers are first.

As for OP, I don't think there was anything wrong in the manner in which you asked. Sounds like her interest level just isn't there. As others have said, it's best to just wait for her to hit you up again.

 

[Trump]

Strongly disagree with this. If they can't make it to meet you then what? You hope they respond with a different day that fits yours? I find its better to calibrate your open days after finding out what hers are first.

As for OP, I don't think there was anything wrong in the manner in which you asked. Sounds like her interest level just isn't there. As others have said, it's best to just wait for her to hit you up again.

Bro don't even think about disagreeing with PK. He is the King around here. His words are poetry.

If you have to "calibrate" your open days after finding out what hers are, you are playing into her game. She has to fit her schedule into yours, not the other way around.

The OP seems to be playing games. The girl wants to have sex on the first date, he doesn't move in. He doesn't text her night to set up a time for next meetup. He waits 96 hours and then texts the girl "when are free this week?" Brutal. You guys keep buying time thinking they will fall in love. If you haven't had sex with them they don't care if you are dead or alive. I'm guessing this girl probably wasn't good looking enough for the OP to want to sleep with her that bad.

 

[CMNILS87]

text when you want to. But don't text too soon or too late.... It's still a game.

 

[Poon King]

Strongly disagree with this. If they can't make it to meet you then what? You hope they respond with a different day that fits yours? I find its better to calibrate your open days after finding out what hers are first.

As for OP, I don't think there was anything wrong in the manner in which you asked. Sounds like her interest level just isn't there. As others have said, it's best to just wait for her to hit you up again.

Not a problem when you're spinning plates. Only an issue for men with few options and men who pedestalize certain women.

 

[marmel75]

You didn't do anything wrong. She might have had another date with a different guy and he ended up banging her...never know. Maybe it was their 5th or 6th date, but it doesn't matter...he got to the finish line first, even though you covered more ground...

Tortoise and the hare sometimes...

 

[MrOctober]

don't you dare send her a text bro

 

[EyeBRollin]

If you have to "calibrate" your open days after finding out what hers are, you are playing into her game. She has to fit her schedule into yours, not the other way around.

This is not true at all.

Asking her when she is free has nothing to do with frame or fitting her schedule, it's about maximizing your chances of success. You can't sell this woman over the phone. If she says she is free on Tuesday after 6, Thursday for lunch, or Saturday at 9, she is telling you when is the best time for you two to link up. Schedule her date for one of those times. If they don't work for you, you ghost for a week and try again until you get a match.

I repeat: You cannot sell a woman over the phone. Your #1 goal especially in the first few dates is to get in front of her so you can touch her, kiss her, and eventually **** her. You have no success without getting the date.

The phone is for setting dates.

 

[Trump]

This is not true at all.

Asking her when she is free has nothing to do with frame or fitting her schedule, it's about maximizing your chances of success.

Bro I think you may be confusing the issues. You are right you have to maximum your chances of success, but not in regards of your availability to a woman. If you ask her when she is free, she can wait until she is good and ready to respond to you. She can go to her sisters wedding, go out to dinner with her friends, go sleep with her boyfriend, and then decide to get back to you when it's convenient for her. You can't leave the power in her hands if you want to sleep with her. She will delay it forever. If you tell her the date and time, the power is in your hands and she has to delay gratification to meet with you.

You can't sell this woman over the phone. If she says she is free on Tuesday after 6, Thursday for lunch, or Saturday at 9, she is telling you when is the best time for you two to link up. Schedule her date for one of those times. If they don't work for you, you ghost for a week and try again until you get a match.

Bro men should be able to sell ice to an Eskimo. If she is giving you all those dates, they are on her terms. She knows she is sleeping with her boyfriend an hour before all those times so she can schedule you in according to her wishes.

I repeat: You cannot sell a woman over the phone. Your #1 goal especially in the first few dates is to get in front of her so you can touch her, kiss her, and eventually **** her. You have no success without getting the date.

The phone is for setting dates.

I agree.

 

[Reptar]

Disagree with a lot of what's been said. I don't think she's necessarily placing other things above you by as much as others are saying. Let me just summarize my points.

1. You are WAY over-analyzing. She doesn't reply to one text message, and you ask on this forum what's wrong?

2. You are overly emotionally invested in this girl. Even if you had a chance with her, it is very unlikely, simply because you're so emotionally affected by her, as compared to how much she is by you, which is probably much less.

3. Ignoring 1 text message means NOTHING. I ignore text messages ALL THE TIME. Not because the person isn't important, but because I am busy. Even from attractive girls I want to get with, I forget about the texts. This is something I didn't know until I was busy and living a lifestyle to where I didn't have the time or thought energy to waste on analyzing texts.

4. Text her again in a few days. Persistence. Even if you fail, you will learn from this. To the guys who say, "Drop this girl", forget that. Dropping a girl after one ignore is ridiculous, I cannot even believe that is being offered as advice. If I did that, I would not have gotten with more than half the girls that I have gotten with.
You never know what the hell is wrong. I had a girl stop replying and then block me on facebook. Later, it turns out her boyfriend went nuts and went through her phone and facebook and removed a bunch of guys. I ended up hanging out with her shortly after she told me about her lunatic b/f.

Edit: Jesus, this forum needs a way to distinguish virgins from non-virgins.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Bro I think you may be confusing the issues. You are right you have to maximum your chances of success, but not in regards of your availability to a woman. If you ask her when she is free, she can wait until she is good and ready to respond to you. She can go to her sisters wedding, go out to dinner with her friends, go sleep with her boyfriend, and then decide to get back to you when it's convenient for her. You can't leave the power in her hands if you want to sleep with her. She will delay it forever. If you tell her the date and time, the power is in your hands and she has to delay gratification to meet with you.

None of that matters. The only thing that matters is if she is accepting your date invitations. The facts are she has a much greater chance of accepting a date when she is actually available to meet up with you. If you tell her a specific date and time out of the blue, she may not be free that day. She'll have to tell you 'no,' which does not increase her interest level. The only things that matter are actions that increase her interest level. Ask her when she is free and make the date.

 

[dustmuffin]

I never ask women when they are "free" before making plans. I decide when I want to see them and invite them to meet me. Is your schedule really that wide open? Loser alert.

To answer your question: It seemed like her interest level was sky high at the end of your first date (and yours was too, otherwise you wouldn't of created this thread). When you waited around to message her after showing strong sexual attraction on the date.. it probably lead her to believe you were either playing games or too chicken sh!t to take what you wanted.

When women suspect you are playing games.. they will often respond by playing games back. This is what her 3 day non-response was. To see how you would react (chase or ignore). Ultimately, its a move to force you to reveal yourself because she obviously got your text.

However, keep in mind that non-toxic women who are emotionally stable do NOT play the non-response game. This chick is probably a wh0re. Personally, I would not analyze her too much. Just try to pork her in a week or so and see what happens.

On a first date it is good to be flexible. I always ask their schedule and then pick a day. After a few dates I start to ask them out on specific days....Like Hey I m going to the zoo saturday you ought to come along. After I have established attraction on their part is when I start being less flexible.

You will get more dates if you are flexible for a first date. Being a hard ass will get you less dates.