Pardon the length, but I figured the more details the easier it is to picture the situation.
Been lurking for a bit, decided to try it out for myself.
This story is about one, specific girl, so it's not exactly PU, but I'd like to know how to deal with girls like these (or prevent this from happening again) in the future. I just started reading into PU, and I'm really interested so far.
You can skip the next few paragraphs, they're not completely relevant to the current situation, but they might help, who knows. Also my description of myself could be useful in picturing my situation a little better.
Quick Description of Myself + Grades 7-10
-----------------------------------
Alright, so I'm 16, in grade 11 and I'm in Canada. I'm a pretty good looking guy (from what girls tell me, and the way they act with me as well). I'm about 6ft and weigh 165lbs - I'm skinny, slightly built (abs, very strong legs and decent arms, i'm still improving). I'm also pretty smart, I've kept a 90 or so average since high school started, though I did start slacking a bit this year. I'm pretty popular around school, a lot of people know me and I'm on good terms with the majority of people.
Whew, now where do I start? Back in grade 7 and 8 - which is elementary school here in Canada - I got a lot attention from girls in my class. Honestly, I was too AFC to really do much about it (is it still being AFC if i was 12-13? lol). I've only had one girlfriend though, and that was in grade 7. Got oneitis for another girl, and it lasted me a whole 2 and half years. I believe this may be the reason I didn't really go for any other girls. Worst part is, she totally liked me at the beginning but I didn't send the signals nor did I tell her how I felt and she moved on... and we became very close friends. She's still one of my closest friends but all the feelings are gone now.
High school came around, and I was still so infatuated with this girl that I didn't pursue other girls. Multiple 7+ girls came chasing after ME, including two 9s, and one 9.5. One of the 9.5's used to go on webcam for me all the time, would have flirty conversations about having sex, etc. In the end, I chose not to go for her. I kept thinking I should wait for my chance with the first girl. Eventually, I found out about the "friendzone," and was amazed at how much I could relate it to my situation. I moved on over time, knowing that it'd never happen and now I can honestly say I feel nothing past friendship for her anymore.
Then my grade 10 year came along, and girls would still flirt with me pretty often but I did notice that they hadn't been doing it as much as before. Some girls started thinking I was gay, because I hadn't had a girlfriend in high school yet. I met a HB8.5, and we started talking through facebook (she started the conversation with me). I gave her my MSN, and we continued through that. I ended up having a 6 hour long conversation with a girl I'd only spoken to once or twice in real life before. We had so much in common, I could hardly believe it, and started falling for her. Again though, I didn't portray myself as a potential boyfriend and instead came off as just a friend. She once said in one of our conversations how I'm like her "long lost brother". At least this time I realized what I did wrong, and I got over the fact that I liked her pretty quickly after I knew what happened.
The story
--------------------------------
This year came around, I'd vowed to myself to not let myself fall into the friendzone again. It had happened twice, and I planned to learn from my mistakes. An HB9 had transferred to our school this year, and I met her through one of the friends in my circle of friends who knew her prior. We started talking, and that led to flirting pretty quickly. Lots of touching each other, initiated equally by the both of us (she'd feel my abs or arms, and I'd feel her back on her thighs or hips). We'd spend like 40 minutes sitting in class touching each other instead of paying attention in class. One of our teachers noticed and moved her behind me. She'd still do things like poke me, blow on the back of my neck, etc... Just things to get my attention.
Things were looking great for me, it hadn't even been 2 weeks and this girl was all over me while I didn't even have to do any work! At first, I thought she was just one of those really flirty girls that flirts with everyone, but she wasn't. She brushed off other guys all the time, but then turned around and flirt with me constantly. I had the feeling that she liked me, but there was still a doubt; whenever our mutual friends would suggest the idea of us being in a relationship she'd just say "nooooo we're just friends!" even though she's sending me all these IOIs. Also, she's spoken to me over facebook a couple of times, but she really didn't seem into the conversation so I ended them pretty quickly. I was confused, friendzone after all that? I wondered what I did wrong, but to no avail. I didn't mind too much to be honest, I hadn't fallen for her, I just thought she was a babe.
Anyway, we kept up that behavior for a while - it was fun. Over time, the flirtiness had dropped a bit, but it was still there. She still flirted with me more than any other guy. A couple of months go by, and we approach a semi-formal dance where some couples go together, but a lot of people still go single just to have fun. I planned on going, and I considered maybe asking her. She was sick for the first 2 days of the week, but then came back to school on the last day you could purchase tickets. I figured I'd see how she acted that day and see if I should ask her. She asked me if I was going to the dance at least 3 times that day, and every time I'd say "yeah, probably" and she'd just cut me off saying "oh, I'm not" with a big smile on her face. I thought "whatever" and still went to the dance.
Now here's the part that threw me off; the day before the dance, one of her closest friends (let's call her Catherine) approached me asking if I liked said girl, and whether I planned to ask her out. I said that I did like her, but we'll see about asking her out. This tells me that the girl probably DOES like me, and is getting annoyed that I'm not doing anything about it. So the Monday after the dance I figure I'll talk to her, but to my surprise she was acting really cold with me. I asked her why she was acting differently all of a sudden, and she just completely denied it... So after a couple of days of this, I'd had enough. I got her alone and asked her if there was anything going on between us, because I was getting signals that she DOES like me, and yet what she said was completely different. She answers with "well... we're good friends..."
I later find out from Catherine that they were talking about me the same day Catherine asked me if I liked her, and she said girl thought I liked her but hoped that I didn't because she didn't want to ruin our friendship. So she probably started acting cold because she thought I liked her, and was trying to hint that she didn't like me that way. I thought "**** it" and just started distancing myself from her (without being a d!ck about it). She thinks/thought I'm mad at her because I'm not giving her the same attention I did before.
The winter break came along, and again, I kept distant. She texted me twice though; once a few days after Christmas saying "happy holidays, sorry i'm a few days late" and the other time was on New Year's. The second time she simply texted "Hey sry I'm drunk" at around 1am with many spelling mistakes (which I ignored). Then again, at 4 am the same day, she texts me saying "Ahah hi!". I responded the next day saying "lol?" and she just said "sorry". I'm not going to lie, those drunk texts gave me a sense of hope that it wasn't over, but that quickly went away when I spoke with a friend who told me it probably meant nothing as she was drunk.
Came to school from the break this week, and I kept distant but I could tell she's trying to keep me in her life (whether it's as a friend or more, I don't know). BTW: When I say distant, I don't mean outright avoiding and ignoring her, I just don't try anymore. I'll speak to her if I have to or if we're in a group, and I don't go out of my way to avoid her.
Now, I don't know how exactly I should treat her that would still have her as an option in the future, or is this not possible (friendzone and all)?. The part I need the most help with though, is how to prevent this from happening. It's happened 3 times now, and each time I feel like I've gotten closer and closer, but every time I seem to fall into the friendzone. That last time, I made sure not to act like a doormat: I wasn't the person she'd go to for advice, I didn't suck up to her, we didn't have all night long conversations, there was lots of kino and flirting... It really caught me off guard. Can anyone point me in the right direction? Where did I go wrong?
Been lurking for a bit, decided to try it out for myself.
This story is about one, specific girl, so it's not exactly PU, but I'd like to know how to deal with girls like these (or prevent this from happening again) in the future. I just started reading into PU, and I'm really interested so far.
You can skip the next few paragraphs, they're not completely relevant to the current situation, but they might help, who knows. Also my description of myself could be useful in picturing my situation a little better.
Quick Description of Myself + Grades 7-10
-----------------------------------
Alright, so I'm 16, in grade 11 and I'm in Canada. I'm a pretty good looking guy (from what girls tell me, and the way they act with me as well). I'm about 6ft and weigh 165lbs - I'm skinny, slightly built (abs, very strong legs and decent arms, i'm still improving). I'm also pretty smart, I've kept a 90 or so average since high school started, though I did start slacking a bit this year. I'm pretty popular around school, a lot of people know me and I'm on good terms with the majority of people.
Whew, now where do I start? Back in grade 7 and 8 - which is elementary school here in Canada - I got a lot attention from girls in my class. Honestly, I was too AFC to really do much about it (is it still being AFC if i was 12-13? lol). I've only had one girlfriend though, and that was in grade 7. Got oneitis for another girl, and it lasted me a whole 2 and half years. I believe this may be the reason I didn't really go for any other girls. Worst part is, she totally liked me at the beginning but I didn't send the signals nor did I tell her how I felt and she moved on... and we became very close friends. She's still one of my closest friends but all the feelings are gone now.
High school came around, and I was still so infatuated with this girl that I didn't pursue other girls. Multiple 7+ girls came chasing after ME, including two 9s, and one 9.5. One of the 9.5's used to go on webcam for me all the time, would have flirty conversations about having sex, etc. In the end, I chose not to go for her. I kept thinking I should wait for my chance with the first girl. Eventually, I found out about the "friendzone," and was amazed at how much I could relate it to my situation. I moved on over time, knowing that it'd never happen and now I can honestly say I feel nothing past friendship for her anymore.
Then my grade 10 year came along, and girls would still flirt with me pretty often but I did notice that they hadn't been doing it as much as before. Some girls started thinking I was gay, because I hadn't had a girlfriend in high school yet. I met a HB8.5, and we started talking through facebook (she started the conversation with me). I gave her my MSN, and we continued through that. I ended up having a 6 hour long conversation with a girl I'd only spoken to once or twice in real life before. We had so much in common, I could hardly believe it, and started falling for her. Again though, I didn't portray myself as a potential boyfriend and instead came off as just a friend. She once said in one of our conversations how I'm like her "long lost brother". At least this time I realized what I did wrong, and I got over the fact that I liked her pretty quickly after I knew what happened.
The story
--------------------------------
This year came around, I'd vowed to myself to not let myself fall into the friendzone again. It had happened twice, and I planned to learn from my mistakes. An HB9 had transferred to our school this year, and I met her through one of the friends in my circle of friends who knew her prior. We started talking, and that led to flirting pretty quickly. Lots of touching each other, initiated equally by the both of us (she'd feel my abs or arms, and I'd feel her back on her thighs or hips). We'd spend like 40 minutes sitting in class touching each other instead of paying attention in class. One of our teachers noticed and moved her behind me. She'd still do things like poke me, blow on the back of my neck, etc... Just things to get my attention.
Things were looking great for me, it hadn't even been 2 weeks and this girl was all over me while I didn't even have to do any work! At first, I thought she was just one of those really flirty girls that flirts with everyone, but she wasn't. She brushed off other guys all the time, but then turned around and flirt with me constantly. I had the feeling that she liked me, but there was still a doubt; whenever our mutual friends would suggest the idea of us being in a relationship she'd just say "nooooo we're just friends!" even though she's sending me all these IOIs. Also, she's spoken to me over facebook a couple of times, but she really didn't seem into the conversation so I ended them pretty quickly. I was confused, friendzone after all that? I wondered what I did wrong, but to no avail. I didn't mind too much to be honest, I hadn't fallen for her, I just thought she was a babe.
Anyway, we kept up that behavior for a while - it was fun. Over time, the flirtiness had dropped a bit, but it was still there. She still flirted with me more than any other guy. A couple of months go by, and we approach a semi-formal dance where some couples go together, but a lot of people still go single just to have fun. I planned on going, and I considered maybe asking her. She was sick for the first 2 days of the week, but then came back to school on the last day you could purchase tickets. I figured I'd see how she acted that day and see if I should ask her. She asked me if I was going to the dance at least 3 times that day, and every time I'd say "yeah, probably" and she'd just cut me off saying "oh, I'm not" with a big smile on her face. I thought "whatever" and still went to the dance.
Now here's the part that threw me off; the day before the dance, one of her closest friends (let's call her Catherine) approached me asking if I liked said girl, and whether I planned to ask her out. I said that I did like her, but we'll see about asking her out. This tells me that the girl probably DOES like me, and is getting annoyed that I'm not doing anything about it. So the Monday after the dance I figure I'll talk to her, but to my surprise she was acting really cold with me. I asked her why she was acting differently all of a sudden, and she just completely denied it... So after a couple of days of this, I'd had enough. I got her alone and asked her if there was anything going on between us, because I was getting signals that she DOES like me, and yet what she said was completely different. She answers with "well... we're good friends..."
I later find out from Catherine that they were talking about me the same day Catherine asked me if I liked her, and she said girl thought I liked her but hoped that I didn't because she didn't want to ruin our friendship. So she probably started acting cold because she thought I liked her, and was trying to hint that she didn't like me that way. I thought "**** it" and just started distancing myself from her (without being a d!ck about it). She thinks/thought I'm mad at her because I'm not giving her the same attention I did before.
The winter break came along, and again, I kept distant. She texted me twice though; once a few days after Christmas saying "happy holidays, sorry i'm a few days late" and the other time was on New Year's. The second time she simply texted "Hey sry I'm drunk" at around 1am with many spelling mistakes (which I ignored). Then again, at 4 am the same day, she texts me saying "Ahah hi!". I responded the next day saying "lol?" and she just said "sorry". I'm not going to lie, those drunk texts gave me a sense of hope that it wasn't over, but that quickly went away when I spoke with a friend who told me it probably meant nothing as she was drunk.
Came to school from the break this week, and I kept distant but I could tell she's trying to keep me in her life (whether it's as a friend or more, I don't know). BTW: When I say distant, I don't mean outright avoiding and ignoring her, I just don't try anymore. I'll speak to her if I have to or if we're in a group, and I don't go out of my way to avoid her.
Now, I don't know how exactly I should treat her that would still have her as an option in the future, or is this not possible (friendzone and all)?. The part I need the most help with though, is how to prevent this from happening. It's happened 3 times now, and each time I feel like I've gotten closer and closer, but every time I seem to fall into the friendzone. That last time, I made sure not to act like a doormat: I wasn't the person she'd go to for advice, I didn't suck up to her, we didn't have all night long conversations, there was lots of kino and flirting... It really caught me off guard. Can anyone point me in the right direction? Where did I go wrong?
