What many guys, especially the ones involved in the PUA (Pick Up Artist) movement, don't understand about the fear of approaching women is that the reason they are afraid is not because they lack guts. It's because they can sense that the girls they want to meet do NOT want to be approached, so that to do so would be rude and violating. They subconsciously sense the "do not approach me" shield around them.
You see, everyone has body language and vibes. We can all sense them, even if we deny that vibes exist as a form of energy. There is a big difference between a girl who is approachable vs. one who is not. But this difference can only be described in words to a certain point. It is mostly felt and sensed by one's natural instincts. You simply "just know", even without observative physical signs or evidence. Even left-brained guys who deny that vibes and auras exist as a form of actual energy can instinctually sense others' vibes, despite their denial.
To try to put into words, an approachable girl looks at ease, relaxed, open and friendly. It's in her face, body language and aura too. She makes eye contact with others, smiles back at people, and has an open body posture. An unapproachable girl, on the other hand, has a closed narrow vibe and look on her face. She is uptight, serious, focused, does not make eye contact with others, and has a "don't bother me" look on her face. When you try to muster the courage to talk to her, you will feel a cold chill and an alarm will go off in you that says, "DO NOT! NOT ALLOWED! INAPPROPRIATE!" It has nothing to do with guts or bravery at all. And even the top PUA gurus can do nothing about it, despite their bogus claims. Guaranteed.
An adept "people reader" can spot these differences consciously, while others merely feel them subconsciously. Either way, one simply knows, even in the absence of physical signs.
So for example, say I'm in the Philippines where there is a very open culture. There, many girls are approachable and easy to chat with, without being introduced by a mutual friend. I could easily meet girls in public, flirt with them and get their numbers. It will look very relaxed and natural. To inexperienced others, it may look like I am bold and have guts. Yet when I fly to Japan, the opposite will happen. I will sense that the girls are unapproachable and are NOT comfortable talking to strangers, even of their own race.
Now this is not my imagination. In Japanese culture, people do not talk to strangers unless they are properly introduced by mutual friends, or it is for business-related purposes. It hasnothing to do with you or whether they like you. It is merely a basic part of their culture. Almost everyone conforms to it. You can feel it in their "collective vibes" even. If you try, you will sense an inner alarm that says "NOT ALLOWED! FORBIDDEN! TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE!" It would feel like you were about to commit a cardinal sin and violation. You just know this.
In this scenario, it won't matter if you are the biggest daredevil in the world, or one of the top PUA gurus (e.g. David DeAngelo, Ross Jeffries, Mystery, etc.). It won't make a difference. Despite their bogus claims, if put to the test in this situation, the PUA gurus will undoubtedly fail. I can guarantee that.
If something is inappropriate, you just know it. You don't have to be told or given physical signs. And it's not your imagination either. You simply know, even if you are not good at reading others or have poor people skills.
What this means is that American guys are not really gutless, as the PUA movement claims. Not at all. They simply live in a culture where females are paranoid, not approachable, and don't like talking to strangers. To violate this is inappropriate, so most guys do not dare try.
Yet American pop culture maintains this myth that girls are very open and friendly in America, so that anyone who has trouble meeting or dating girls must have a problem - they are either too shy, nerdy, lack social skills or technique. So these guys who are afraid to approach girls, falsely assume, based on this myth, that they must be lacking guts or "technique" when in reality it isn't that at all. The girls they like simply don't want to be approached or do not find the guys to be their type, so they put out that vibe to them. The unwanted guy then senses this "reject shield" and misinteprets it as coming from their own fears.
This misconception is then capitalized on by the PUA movement and their gurus, who have a vested financial interest in selling expensive seminars and courses to these "average frustrated chumps (AFC's)" as they put it, to help them overcome their fears, which further perpetuates this myth. But it ends up being just a bunch of pep talk with little or no result.
In reality, it is extremely rare to change the mind of a girl who doesn't want to meet you by using some kind of "PUA technique", and even in such cases, the girl is likely to be mentally unstable or erratic.
Anyone can make bogus claims or brag. But to prove them is another matter. Reality is reality. And bogus claims usually fail when put to the test. I've seen it time and time again. A lot of guys who claim they can pick up girls in places where they are not approachable, end up chickening out or making excuses when put to the actual test. Even if it were possible, it would happen occasionally, not on an everyday anytime basis.
Of course, your looks matter. Some girls only want to be approached by guys that are "their type". These girls are "conditionally approachable" and you can also recognize them by their "don't approach me unless you're hot" vibe as well.
Now, suppose you are a very good looking white guy in Japan. In that case, yes a certain percentage of girls will be open to cold approaches from you. But we are talking a minority percentage here, not the majority. Most girls will still not be willing to be approached by you in public, even if they think you are very attractive. They are simply way too uncomfortable with it. Also, most Japanese girls will not date seriously outside their race, even if they have a curiosity toward white guys. You can find a girlfriend of course, or date several girls at once, from the percentage of girls who will be open to you. But you still would not be able to chat up any girl you want anywhere you want. No way. Not in Japan. And whether the girls interested in you will be the same ones you are interested in, is another matter.
So the lesson here is that approachability of women depends on the situation, location, culture and type of woman. It's not about guts or technique. You simply have to utilize those factors to the best of your advantage.
(continued in next post)
You see, everyone has body language and vibes. We can all sense them, even if we deny that vibes exist as a form of energy. There is a big difference between a girl who is approachable vs. one who is not. But this difference can only be described in words to a certain point. It is mostly felt and sensed by one's natural instincts. You simply "just know", even without observative physical signs or evidence. Even left-brained guys who deny that vibes and auras exist as a form of actual energy can instinctually sense others' vibes, despite their denial.
To try to put into words, an approachable girl looks at ease, relaxed, open and friendly. It's in her face, body language and aura too. She makes eye contact with others, smiles back at people, and has an open body posture. An unapproachable girl, on the other hand, has a closed narrow vibe and look on her face. She is uptight, serious, focused, does not make eye contact with others, and has a "don't bother me" look on her face. When you try to muster the courage to talk to her, you will feel a cold chill and an alarm will go off in you that says, "DO NOT! NOT ALLOWED! INAPPROPRIATE!" It has nothing to do with guts or bravery at all. And even the top PUA gurus can do nothing about it, despite their bogus claims. Guaranteed.
An adept "people reader" can spot these differences consciously, while others merely feel them subconsciously. Either way, one simply knows, even in the absence of physical signs.
So for example, say I'm in the Philippines where there is a very open culture. There, many girls are approachable and easy to chat with, without being introduced by a mutual friend. I could easily meet girls in public, flirt with them and get their numbers. It will look very relaxed and natural. To inexperienced others, it may look like I am bold and have guts. Yet when I fly to Japan, the opposite will happen. I will sense that the girls are unapproachable and are NOT comfortable talking to strangers, even of their own race.
Now this is not my imagination. In Japanese culture, people do not talk to strangers unless they are properly introduced by mutual friends, or it is for business-related purposes. It hasnothing to do with you or whether they like you. It is merely a basic part of their culture. Almost everyone conforms to it. You can feel it in their "collective vibes" even. If you try, you will sense an inner alarm that says "NOT ALLOWED! FORBIDDEN! TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE!" It would feel like you were about to commit a cardinal sin and violation. You just know this.
In this scenario, it won't matter if you are the biggest daredevil in the world, or one of the top PUA gurus (e.g. David DeAngelo, Ross Jeffries, Mystery, etc.). It won't make a difference. Despite their bogus claims, if put to the test in this situation, the PUA gurus will undoubtedly fail. I can guarantee that.
If something is inappropriate, you just know it. You don't have to be told or given physical signs. And it's not your imagination either. You simply know, even if you are not good at reading others or have poor people skills.
What this means is that American guys are not really gutless, as the PUA movement claims. Not at all. They simply live in a culture where females are paranoid, not approachable, and don't like talking to strangers. To violate this is inappropriate, so most guys do not dare try.
Yet American pop culture maintains this myth that girls are very open and friendly in America, so that anyone who has trouble meeting or dating girls must have a problem - they are either too shy, nerdy, lack social skills or technique. So these guys who are afraid to approach girls, falsely assume, based on this myth, that they must be lacking guts or "technique" when in reality it isn't that at all. The girls they like simply don't want to be approached or do not find the guys to be their type, so they put out that vibe to them. The unwanted guy then senses this "reject shield" and misinteprets it as coming from their own fears.
This misconception is then capitalized on by the PUA movement and their gurus, who have a vested financial interest in selling expensive seminars and courses to these "average frustrated chumps (AFC's)" as they put it, to help them overcome their fears, which further perpetuates this myth. But it ends up being just a bunch of pep talk with little or no result.
In reality, it is extremely rare to change the mind of a girl who doesn't want to meet you by using some kind of "PUA technique", and even in such cases, the girl is likely to be mentally unstable or erratic.
Anyone can make bogus claims or brag. But to prove them is another matter. Reality is reality. And bogus claims usually fail when put to the test. I've seen it time and time again. A lot of guys who claim they can pick up girls in places where they are not approachable, end up chickening out or making excuses when put to the actual test. Even if it were possible, it would happen occasionally, not on an everyday anytime basis.
Of course, your looks matter. Some girls only want to be approached by guys that are "their type". These girls are "conditionally approachable" and you can also recognize them by their "don't approach me unless you're hot" vibe as well.
Now, suppose you are a very good looking white guy in Japan. In that case, yes a certain percentage of girls will be open to cold approaches from you. But we are talking a minority percentage here, not the majority. Most girls will still not be willing to be approached by you in public, even if they think you are very attractive. They are simply way too uncomfortable with it. Also, most Japanese girls will not date seriously outside their race, even if they have a curiosity toward white guys. You can find a girlfriend of course, or date several girls at once, from the percentage of girls who will be open to you. But you still would not be able to chat up any girl you want anywhere you want. No way. Not in Japan. And whether the girls interested in you will be the same ones you are interested in, is another matter.
So the lesson here is that approachability of women depends on the situation, location, culture and type of woman. It's not about guts or technique. You simply have to utilize those factors to the best of your advantage.
(continued in next post)
Think about it... Out of all the things to fear in life and us being Men, were afraid of a girl? lol