I know for a lot of men, they may have had multiple experiences, or it may have been a gradual realization. This is true for me.
I don't think my "story" is unique in any way, and there have been plenty of people who have had worse situations.
A little background: I was raised by my Father and Stepmom (got together when I was 5 years old). My father has 2 sons, and my step-mom already had 2 sons (step-brothers) before they got together. My dad was a single father who married a single mom. They had one son together (half-brother). Basically, I have 4 brothers (blended family). They're still married to this day.
When I was 24, I lost my virginity to a girl I dated for 7 months. She's not attractive, but with me being naive and losing my virginity, combined with a Scarcity Mindset (no other options/no confidence) and plugged in, it was a recipe for disaster. I made just about every mistake I could make, and I entered her frame. Also, I was a loser at the time (no long term value). There were definitely red flags I overlooked.
I ended up getting a trailer with her, that she put in her name. Two of my brothers (Full brother and a step brother) moved in with us, because it had 3 bedrooms. After we broke up, she kicked me out, and I moved back in with my parents. It was a rough time, but I accepted the situation. However, my 2 brothers continued to live there. I didn't think much of the arrangement. I trusted my brothers, whom I had grown up with.
The part that still bothers me to this day is what happened after the break up. A few weeks after I moved out, my real brother (full) told me that he noticed my ex and step brother (the one who lived there) were sleeping together. He hesitated to tell me because I'm his older brother, and he knows I couldn't control my temper. He probably thought I was going to take it out on him. He confronted them about it, and they got pissed. They got into a huge argument, and he told me about it.
I got mad, but I didn't know what to do, this isn't something I was expecting. I was in total shock. He's not my biological brother, but I still thought of him as a brother. We grew up in the same house, and slept in the same bedrooms, and raised by the same parents. It felt like betrayal. Like I got stabbed in the back. The break up is what it is. It's not surprising that she moved on. But I never expected her to move on with one of my brothers.
Now, this wasn't just a break up. This had the potential to split the family. That was my mindset. I was angry for sure, and wanted to hurt him in every way possible. My plugged in mindset didn't want to stir up any problems in the family either. That was a hard balancing act. I ended up talking to him about it one on one. I could tell he didn't want to talk about it, because I'm his oldest brother, and I guess he had no idea what I was going to say to him. He had everybody in his ear. He had no other options with women either. I think most of the people he listened to (stepmom, his mother), cousins, my ex, his friends, told him not to worry about it, and that he did nothing wrong. I don't know for sure, but that's likely what happened. There's other women out there, but he chose my ex, of all people. I talked to him, and told him I wasn't ok with it, and that I don't like my ex, and I wasn't talking to her. Again, being in a blue pill/beta mindset, I didn't hit him. In hindsight, I would have punched him as hard as I could (if I was unplugged). Over the next several years, I kept thinking it was my fault, and I didn't want to split my family over the issue. I just let the chips fall where they fell.
Even though my father took my side on the issue (I'm his oldest son), he eventually told me to get over it. And to stop letting it get to me. Not bad advice I guess. My stepmom took her son's side on the issue. I ended up getting into several arguments with her, because I couldn't believe she didn't see what I saw. Basically, she was my mother figure growing up, and she tried to play both sides (me and her son), but based on reading between the lines, and the big arguments I got into with her, it was clear she saw nothing wrong with what happened. Basically, my parents sided with their biological kid (obvious in hindsight).
Also, the reason it still bothers me to this day is because they got married a few months after the break up and had 2 kids together. She monkey branched to him (knew she was going to him next). Over the next several years, birthday parties, holidays, were awkward between us. We barely spoke. Tension is still there (at least on my end).
After I became unplugged, I slowly started to look at the world differently. But, this situation still bothered me. So, I decided to not have anything to do with him, and no longer consider him a brother. I told my parents and other brothers this. While my stepmom was fine with it, it caused a lot of tension and arguments between us. Unsurprisingly, looking back, while it still pisses me off, the family was split on the issue down biological lines. My stepmom loves me, but not like her own children. When push comes to shove, she's going to side with her biological sons. Same with my father. My stepmom just views me as an extension of my father, and loves me conditionally. It is what it is. I think the experience jaded me. I accepted it, but it still bothers me. Not because of the break up, but because of losing a brother to betrayal. Me and my ex don't speak. But I don't know if she completely understands what she caused between me and my ex-brother. I get the nuts and bolts of it (emotional disconnect, better long term value), but my entire ego was built on loyalty within the family. And it came crashing down because of this situation. Even other people in my family eventually either told me to get over it, or blamed it on me.
I've had other eye opening realizations since I unplugged a couple of years ago. I had other experiences like most others, but this one had the biggest impact on my becoming red pill aware. I'm just glad I didn't get married to her or have kids with her, because that would have been an even bigger disaster.
This is essentially a rant from me, but if anyone else had a similar experience they're willing to share, feel free to share.
I don't think my "story" is unique in any way, and there have been plenty of people who have had worse situations.
A little background: I was raised by my Father and Stepmom (got together when I was 5 years old). My father has 2 sons, and my step-mom already had 2 sons (step-brothers) before they got together. My dad was a single father who married a single mom. They had one son together (half-brother). Basically, I have 4 brothers (blended family). They're still married to this day.
When I was 24, I lost my virginity to a girl I dated for 7 months. She's not attractive, but with me being naive and losing my virginity, combined with a Scarcity Mindset (no other options/no confidence) and plugged in, it was a recipe for disaster. I made just about every mistake I could make, and I entered her frame. Also, I was a loser at the time (no long term value). There were definitely red flags I overlooked.
I ended up getting a trailer with her, that she put in her name. Two of my brothers (Full brother and a step brother) moved in with us, because it had 3 bedrooms. After we broke up, she kicked me out, and I moved back in with my parents. It was a rough time, but I accepted the situation. However, my 2 brothers continued to live there. I didn't think much of the arrangement. I trusted my brothers, whom I had grown up with.
The part that still bothers me to this day is what happened after the break up. A few weeks after I moved out, my real brother (full) told me that he noticed my ex and step brother (the one who lived there) were sleeping together. He hesitated to tell me because I'm his older brother, and he knows I couldn't control my temper. He probably thought I was going to take it out on him. He confronted them about it, and they got pissed. They got into a huge argument, and he told me about it.
I got mad, but I didn't know what to do, this isn't something I was expecting. I was in total shock. He's not my biological brother, but I still thought of him as a brother. We grew up in the same house, and slept in the same bedrooms, and raised by the same parents. It felt like betrayal. Like I got stabbed in the back. The break up is what it is. It's not surprising that she moved on. But I never expected her to move on with one of my brothers.
Now, this wasn't just a break up. This had the potential to split the family. That was my mindset. I was angry for sure, and wanted to hurt him in every way possible. My plugged in mindset didn't want to stir up any problems in the family either. That was a hard balancing act. I ended up talking to him about it one on one. I could tell he didn't want to talk about it, because I'm his oldest brother, and I guess he had no idea what I was going to say to him. He had everybody in his ear. He had no other options with women either. I think most of the people he listened to (stepmom, his mother), cousins, my ex, his friends, told him not to worry about it, and that he did nothing wrong. I don't know for sure, but that's likely what happened. There's other women out there, but he chose my ex, of all people. I talked to him, and told him I wasn't ok with it, and that I don't like my ex, and I wasn't talking to her. Again, being in a blue pill/beta mindset, I didn't hit him. In hindsight, I would have punched him as hard as I could (if I was unplugged). Over the next several years, I kept thinking it was my fault, and I didn't want to split my family over the issue. I just let the chips fall where they fell.
Even though my father took my side on the issue (I'm his oldest son), he eventually told me to get over it. And to stop letting it get to me. Not bad advice I guess. My stepmom took her son's side on the issue. I ended up getting into several arguments with her, because I couldn't believe she didn't see what I saw. Basically, she was my mother figure growing up, and she tried to play both sides (me and her son), but based on reading between the lines, and the big arguments I got into with her, it was clear she saw nothing wrong with what happened. Basically, my parents sided with their biological kid (obvious in hindsight).
Also, the reason it still bothers me to this day is because they got married a few months after the break up and had 2 kids together. She monkey branched to him (knew she was going to him next). Over the next several years, birthday parties, holidays, were awkward between us. We barely spoke. Tension is still there (at least on my end).
After I became unplugged, I slowly started to look at the world differently. But, this situation still bothered me. So, I decided to not have anything to do with him, and no longer consider him a brother. I told my parents and other brothers this. While my stepmom was fine with it, it caused a lot of tension and arguments between us. Unsurprisingly, looking back, while it still pisses me off, the family was split on the issue down biological lines. My stepmom loves me, but not like her own children. When push comes to shove, she's going to side with her biological sons. Same with my father. My stepmom just views me as an extension of my father, and loves me conditionally. It is what it is. I think the experience jaded me. I accepted it, but it still bothers me. Not because of the break up, but because of losing a brother to betrayal. Me and my ex don't speak. But I don't know if she completely understands what she caused between me and my ex-brother. I get the nuts and bolts of it (emotional disconnect, better long term value), but my entire ego was built on loyalty within the family. And it came crashing down because of this situation. Even other people in my family eventually either told me to get over it, or blamed it on me.
I've had other eye opening realizations since I unplugged a couple of years ago. I had other experiences like most others, but this one had the biggest impact on my becoming red pill aware. I'm just glad I didn't get married to her or have kids with her, because that would have been an even bigger disaster.
This is essentially a rant from me, but if anyone else had a similar experience they're willing to share, feel free to share.
