What exactly is confidence?

Babnik

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Is it that:

You WILL get her?
You CAN get her?

Shouldn't confidence build up on your experiences? If you get constantly blown off, how can you be confident?

Lets say you do 50 approachs and first 10 did not work, how could further approaches be made with confidence at all?
 

The Nice Guy is Gone

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Because the confidence is within you, not necessarily with experiences. The frame of mind you should have when those first 10 reject you should be, "Well, it's their loss, not mine." Or something like, "They just lost out big-time."

Confidence starts in the mindset, and then builds up with approaching.
 

Babnik

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The Nice Guy is Gone said:
Because the confidence is within you, not necessarily with experiences. The frame of mind you should have when those first 10 reject you should be, "Well, it's their loss, not mine." Or something like, "They just lost out big-time."

Confidence starts in the mindset, and then builds up with approaching.

But thinking like that is just an excuse for your own POSSIBLE failure. I mean, its like saying "Oh, I got a D because I had a crappy professor!" while it was your performance that got you a D!
 

Docs

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Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
 

blinkwatt

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Docs said:
Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
Bingo! Couldn't have said it better myself.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Babnik

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Docs said:
Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
 

blinkwatt

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Babnik said:
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
No thats not what he is saying. Even with the odds against you,you have faith in yourself to beats the odds.
 

Docs

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Babnik said:
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
No, it's about still trying even when you're facing the girl that makes you tremble, or the problem that makes you want to avoid it all together.
 

Babnik

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Espi said:
Confidence is doing what you feel regardless of the consequences...

Now, of course, I DO NOT mean stealing, raping, looting, or any other illegal activity in which yourself or others are harmed or degraded.

Confidence is approaching the hottest girl at the party, despite the possiblity of being rejected or shaking as you talk to her.

To rephrase an oft-quoted cliche: Confidence is not the absence of fear; it's acting in spite of the fear.

Confidence is saying what no else says, though it needs to be said.

Confidence is doing what no one else does, though it needs to be done.

Confidence is marked by self-content thoughts and actions, and a confident man doesn't much care if people love or hate him. Yet, he is liked by many.


You guys talk about COURAGE and PERSISTANCE.

Go to dictionary.com and type in CONFIDENCE. Its about being SURE or TRUST into something.

If you are NOT sure - you are NOT confident.
 

blinkwatt

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Babnik said:
Go to dictionary.com and type in CONFIDENCE. Its about being SURE or TRUST into something.
That sounds more like faith to me is the word they are looking for,to each their own.
 

Babnik

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So now it seems a lot of people really do not know what confidence is...maybe thats the problem.
 

bauer_23

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It's the difference between thinking you can and knowing you can.
 

Babnik

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bauer_23 said:
It's the difference between thinking you can and knowing you can.



OK, let me get it straight. You approach a girl and you should FEEL that "I can **** her" , right?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Babnik said:
Is it that:

You WILL get her?
You CAN get her?
Confidence has absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with you.
 

ChrizZ

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It is really weird. The more I get rejected, the more confident I get because I know that I can face my fear anytime, anywhere...
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

The Nice Guy is Gone

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ChrizZ said:
It is really weird. The more I get rejected, the more confident I get because I know that I can face my fear anytime, anywhere...
Actually, when I get rejected now, when I end up getting home, I laugh about it. It's kind of funny these days, when I do get rejected.

Because I haven't lost a thing, and they have lost a great opportunity.
 

Bvbidd

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You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
 

The Nice Guy is Gone

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Bvbidd said:
You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
I'm in the real world--and I don't need you to tell me what I need. I'm happy, and I know what I want. And yeah, they may have a reason to reject ya, but more often than not, it's not a good one. So, before you start ridiculing someone and claiming that they are not in the real world, back up a bit.
 

Babnik

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Bvbidd said:
You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
And who said the girls you approach are WORTH a guy who has the game and all that? Most girls I talk to open their mouth and CRAP comes out of it...
Nobody is perfect anyway.
 

Nighthawk

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Confidence is inversely proportionate to doubt. Arrogance is the absence of doubt, yet doubt is useful in moderation. So confidence is best achieved by entertaining doubt but not making it your master.
 
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