What exactly do girls mean by confidence?

[asdfghjkl]

I'm sure there are PLENTY of nice guys who have confidence. The problem is.....attractive women DONT VALUE nice guy BEHAVIOR. BUT many attractive women DO VALUE BAD BOY BEHAVIOR. Thats why bad boys will continue to get laid. And nice guys will continue to be a$$ out. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well i agree with part of this. You can be a "nice" guy and still have bad boy behaviors.

I don't think it's so much bad boy behavior, but willing to take risks, not giving a **** about the outcome, and just having fun in your life. To get women you dont have to go out and get into fights at everybar, just be willing to take some risks and have fun with it.

 

[rakishness]

Well i agree with part of this. You can be a "nice" guy and still have bad boy behaviors.

I don't think it's so much bad boy behavior, but willing to take risks, not giving a **** about the outcome, and just having fun in your life. To get women you dont have to go out and get into fights at everybar, just be willing to take some risks and have fun with it.

Yes Ofcourse. Bad Boys take risks(ie cold approach, make moves). Nice guys generally don't. This is actually the fundamental reason for the Bad Boys SUCCESS. It has nothing to with him being "BAD". He just acts Boldly. You should read this article.....http://www.goalsguy.com/Monster/tips.php

 

[rakishness]

This is a quote from R. Greene's 48 laws of Power.

"If boldness isn't natural, neither is timidity. It is an acquired habit, picked up out of your desire to avoid conflict. If timidity has taken hold of you,then root it out. Your fears of the consequences of a bold action are way out of proportion to reality, and in fact the consequences of timidity are worse. Your value is lowered and create a self fulfilling cycle of doubt and disaster."

 

[MVPlaya]

Confidence is a man's backbone, self esteem, and willingness to stand up for himself, his beliefs, his ideals, etc and won't settle for less. If a woman says she wants a confident man, she means that she doesn't want a sniveling pushover.

Thats pretty accurate.

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

Usually women mean confidence as in toughness or attitude.

For example a guy who has a "doesnt give a fvck" attitude is "confident"; the guy doesnt care if hes about to fight someone bigger than him, he does it anyway and gets in the guy's face, or about to do something that could get him into a lot of trouble with the law. Doesnt care if hes doing something risky etc.

It also means hes got that "tough attitude". You know those guys who are tough, the types that will fvck with yuo if you get in their way or look at them wrong; kind of the bad boy thing.

This is what women mean by confidence. they dont mean confidence as in "beleives he will succeed when he asks her out etc." or "beleives he is attractive". Although a guy who is confident in the way women really mean it would approach some chick and ask her out and when she blows him off or rejects him, he just calmly says in a relaxed tone "well fvck you then b1tch". he doesnt give a fvck and is kind of an @sshole

confidence=tough, badboy, has an attitude, not afraid to do things that can hurt him, alpha, not afraid to come across as really rude or an @sshole infront of people etc.

I have been curious too as to what women meant by "confidence". and have talked to many different women about it who all have never met eachother, yet all came up with pretty much that same definition of confidence I give above. This isnt my opinion on what it means, but is a composite on what women have told me what it means.

This definition of confidence is very hard to fake. By engaging in this confident behavior will require you to put yourself in situations where you can actually get hurt. for example, You would be required to stand up and fight the guy who can definitely put you in the hospital and disfigure you etc.

As for appearing confident, it has alot to do with your mannerism, how you talk, how you dress, how you handle yourself in situations and responde to people, a little bit to do with the lifestyle you live. Very difficult to fake.

I have met many dudes in my life who were the more reserved and quiet types that were not pushy yet they could belt the more flamboyant dudes around if they got them angry.
It isn't always the dudes who can fight the best that have the most confidence or have the bad boy image.

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

some of you get it, and some of you dont.

Maybe I didnt make myself clear:

1. THe definition I have presented was defined by many women themselves. They all came up with pretty much the same definition. This is not opinion nor is it confusing "confidence" with "badboy". confidence=badboy attitude, it is what it is. no opinion, no confusion, just fact.

This is pretty accurate considering this definition was defined by women, not me. you cant argue with it.

2. The badboy attidude doesnt mean you can fight good, it doesnt mean you go around starting sh1t with people in fighting. What it does mean is that if someone is bigger than you and messes with you, you dont give a fvck if hes bigger than you and can really hurt you or kill you, you will fight him anyway becuase you dont give a fvck, even if you lose. Its not about starting fights, its not about being a good fighter, its about fighting anyway even though you will lose and get hurt. Its about not giving a fvck that hes bigger than you. Its has to do with being a tough person.

3. Based on what women have told me, badboy doesnt neccesarily mean the guy has to be an ex-con, a gangsta, a drug dealer etc. Like confidence, badboy is an ambiguous term too. Based on what women have told me, badboy basically means your tough. You can be a straight edge, law abiding christian, but will fit women's general definition of badboy as long as you have that tough attitude. badboy=tough attidue, it does not mean someone who is always getting into trouble with the law. Most men think badboy means some guy with tattoos all over whos been in and out of jail and engages in illegal activities like a gangsta. No.

In w0manese, confidence=badboy and badboy=tough guy attitude, not a thug or gangsta or criminal.

 

[persiangino]

Women, especially in college, like bad boy's with style that dress flamboyantly. This can be done either mafiosa style (aka versace, armani gear) or "gangsta" only if you can pull it off. True Bad Boys have the swagger and demeanor to pull these styles off. I.E. John Gotti senior RIP

 

[DJinTraining06]

Confidence shmofidence.

have u ever listened in on a group of women of any age group talking. I have never once heard women talkin about a guys confidence. Or any other personality trait other than, he's nice, sweet, hes a jerk, hes hot, he's whatever. Stop thinking girls r so freakin smart. They arent, they r no smarter or dumber than us. They r creatures with urges and desires like us, who want to make themselves happy, like us.

What makes them happy, being with a guy they r really attracted to, who makes them feel special, and who has value and is somebody they wouldnt be embarrased to introduce to their friends and family ( has good job, social status etc.) This all varies from girl to girl as to what they r looking for, but lets stop thinking girls are so smart and they r making this conscious effort to find a confident man. I would bet money they dont think about it at all. I see hot girls with unconfident men all the time. These insecure macho a$$holes. Im sure women pick up on there insecurities. Women r good at that. they dont wanna go out with a guy whos boring or a nerd maybe, but unconfident is def not the prob.

 

[mrRuckus]

Usually women mean confidence as in toughness or attitude.

For example a guy who has a "doesnt give a fvck" attitude is "confident"; the guy doesnt care if hes about to fight someone bigger than him, he does it anyway and gets in the guy's face, or about to do something that could get him into a lot of trouble with the law. Doesnt care if hes doing something risky etc.

It also means hes got that "tough attitude". You know those guys who are tough, the types that will fvck with yuo if you get in their way or look at them wrong; kind of the bad boy thing..

No those are called idiots. I don't do any of that stupid stuff or have much of a tough attitude and i get called confident all the time. I have no idea why you would call someone who gets in a fight with someone bigger than him confident. If anything i'd call that "fvcking delusional."

A few weeks ago i was coming out of the grocery store with my girlfriend and some guy comes up behind me saying "excuse me." I stop and he asks me if i'm in the military and i say no and he walks away (no idea what he would've done/said if i was)

I talk with my girlfriend "i wonder why he thought i would be." She said it was because i walk very confidently like a proud military man would. I said "how do i do that" and she said "i don't know how to explain it... but don't worry about it - it's very attractive."

 

[00Kevin]

The modern feminist woman loves to use the word "insecure" to describe men who reject their bullsh1t.

The hor wants a man who is confident because she thinks he will be able to f-cuk her good.

 

[rakishness]

Confidence shmofidence.

have u ever listened in on a group of women of any age group talking. I have never once heard women talkin about a guys confidence. Or any other personality trait other than, he's nice, sweet, hes a jerk, hes hot, he's whatever. Stop thinking girls r so freakin smart. They arent, they r no smarter or dumber than us. They r creatures with urges and desires like us, who want to make themselves happy, like us.

What makes them happy, being with a guy they r really attracted to, who makes them feel special, and who has value and is somebody they wouldnt be embarrased to introduce to their friends and family ( has good job, social status etc.) This all varies from girl to girl as to what they r looking for, but lets stop thinking girls are so smart and they r making this conscious effort to find a confident man. I would bet money they dont think about it at all. I see hot girls with unconfident men all the time. These insecure macho a$$holes. Im sure women pick up on there insecurities. Women r good at that. they dont wanna go out with a guy whos boring or a nerd maybe, but unconfident is def not the prob.

It's nice to see that at least some people on this board have so commonsense. Thank you...DJinTraining06. Men who are insecure wussies are getting laid as am typing this post. When a girl values you and/or is attracted to you....your "inner thoughts" or "posture" don't matter!!!!! I HOPE EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS THIS.

 

[mrRuckus]

Confidence shmofidence.

have u ever listened in on a group of women of any age group talking. I have never once heard women talkin about a guys confidence..

Yes.

Out with an ex early on in our relationship at a bar with her friend. The friend points out a guy leaning his back against the bar and how much of a conceited ass he looks like he is. At the end of the night we were outside and he comes out and starts walking down the street. She RUNS down the street and goes and hits on him.

I talk to my gf while she's off talking to him and she says yeah he's really attractive with how confident he looks. And yeah when i saw this guy he looked so full of himself. And he was attracting girls just by APPEARING super confident.. they hadn't even heard him talk confident or anything...


And anyway.. you hardly hear guys talk about how smart a girl is or how wonderful her personality is... they talk about what a fine piece of ass she is, etc... but you know guys are thinking about her other aspects even if they're not talking about them.

 

[DJinTraining06]

It's nice to see that at least some people on this board have so commonsense. Thank you...DJinTraining06. Men who are insecure wussies are getting laid as am typing this post. When a girl values you and/or is attracted to you....your "inner thoughts" or "posture" don't matter!!!!! I HOPE EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS THIS.

Glad someone agrees. I think sometimes its just a matter of 3 things:

1. are they r attracted to or not
2. do they like ur personality
3. are u a nerd or do u have some social value

 

[da_hunter]

$$$

 

[persiangino]

Obviously any geek with a pair can have a girlfriend. We are talking about attracting alot of female attention.

 

[00Kevin]

Confidence is woman-ese for "he fu-cked me good".

Insecure is woman-ese for "C-ock doesn't work"


WTF!!!
Since when is the word woman-ese a bad word here?

 

[funketekun]

i think, confidence is the piece. Isnt it?

 

[Thomas94305]

I like post #9 from God_of_getting_laid...

However, take whatever a woman says, and read it with your Bullshyt detector turned all the way on high. Women get upset about "guys hitting on them", then they get upset because "guys don't have the balls to ask them out". LOL.. thanks women, you're really helping. Now, I want to be fair to women.. so look at what guys say. Lots of us are AFCs. We look for excuses to NOT approach.. she's not attractive enough, she's too atractive, she wouldn't go out with me.. etc.

I read the same thing into what I just said about the women, and the men. Both are acting out of their social anxiety, they are not giving you something constructive. A woman gets bothered by "guys hitting on her". Let's see.. what does she mean by "hitting on her"? HB: "Well... you saw the way he looked at me?? Or, he was talking to me.. and I could JUST TELL" LOL. Relax poor HB. He wasn't trying to rape you. He was just socializing, it's a good thing. You have the right to stop it at any time, you're just being uptight. Talk with him, and see if he's a good guy or not, then decide. If he asks for a cup of coffee, and he's been respectful, just go. I tell that to my gal friends. I want to see them happy, not alone.

Often times, what they mean is he's confident enough to read through her crap, relax, and assure her everything will be OK.

When a woman says she wants a guy to be more confident, I'm really reading into it that she's socially uptight. She hates the initial nervousness, and wants the guy to take full responsibility for it. Treat her like an adult. She's responsible for her own nervousness. If you're being sociable, but fully respecting her, then keep doing what you are doing. Perhaps not owning her crap is an element of confidence.

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

No those are called idiots. I don't do any of that stupid stuff or have much of a tough attitude and i get called confident all the time. I have no idea why you would call someone who gets in a fight with someone bigger than him confident. If anything i'd call that "fvcking delusional."

call it what you want.

I didnt make the definition, women did. And they were descrbing to me what the mean by confidence as in the kind of "confidence" that they find sexy.

A few weeks ago i was coming out of the grocery store with my girlfriend and some guy comes up behind me saying "excuse me." I stop and he asks me if i'm in the military and i say no and he walks away (no idea what he would've done/said if i was)

I talk with my girlfriend "i wonder why he thought i would be." She said it was because i walk very confidently like a proud military man would. I said "how do i do that" and she said "i don't know how to explain it... but don't worry about it - it's very attractive."

This only proves my point. Military men are known for being badasses. Hell, even more so than the stereotypical definition of badboy that men have(gangstas, thugs etc.). I mean, the military men are the ones jumping out of planes at 25,000 ft to go kill someone, thats more than what street thugs do. military men qualify for the "badboy" definition. Again, badboy doenst mean thug, it means tough guy. its no wonder your GF thinks its attractive that you walk like a military man.

yep, confidence=badboy
badboy=toughguy
militaryman is a toughguy
so then military man is a badboy

I didnt make these definitions, women did whom Ive talked to about on the subject. Im just the messenger here.

 

[Bro]

I am getting sick of these terms:

Bad boy. Pimp. Player. AFC. Alpha. Don Juan. It sounds really lame, IMHO. What kind of person describes himself as alpha, bad boy, afc, a don juan? I would laugh out loud.

All it is a lacking in a character, physical, or moral trait.

You take the courage and confidence out of a so called "bad boy" or "alpha male" and he is now a "AFC". and vice versa.

Great men are great in actions, not in words.

End these lame terms and it's descriptions. It's corny.