what does 'we will catch up soon' mean?

[ztas]

hi all

I recently had coffee with a lady that I've been wanting to take out for literally years. She worked near me. I finally had the courage to boldly go to her workplace (...with a slightly contrived work reason!).

She went out and we had a great conversation. When I asked for an email to contact her, she gave me her mobile number.

I then waited a week until texting her to say we should catch up again that week. nothing heavy, or deep.

She wrote back to say 'we will catch up soon'.

Now what does that mean in this context?

I texted again about a week later, but this time didn't get any reply.

Should I not have contacted her after her message, and just waited to see if she would reply?

thanks all,

Z

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

She's being polite. She's not interested. Move on.

 

[amoka]

Text messages can be interpreted differently. Why don't you call her up rather? She probably wanted to talk on the phone which was why she provided you her phone number rather than her email address. Just call her.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

It means your overanalyzing stuff. You'll see them when you see them and do some stuff.

 

[ztas]

hi all

was reasonably specific in my last SMS. Said "I was coming into town on Wed for business, did she want to have lunch?"

I'll take the advice above and go 'ghost'. Does it seem silly to call her in a week or so, or just move on?

cheers

 

[ztas]

Should I just move on so quickly, if it's someone I really wanted to get to know? At my age, and admittedly average looks!, opportunities are not too frequent

 

[ztas]

thanks Espi. I think I can see how the 'specificity' might work. I rememeber reading some article on SS years ago, about how females need to be told/instructed.

Do you think it's too late to salvage this one? In your earlier post you suggested trying one more time. I might call rather than SMS. I hate the uncertainty you get with SMS (whether she's read it, when she's going to respond, etc).

kind regards

 

[guru1000]

If she responds wishy-washy (i.e. "I'll let you know" or "Maybe" or ANYTHING other than "Yes") then I would reply, "You seem to have some challenges meeting me and I respect that. Let me know a day and time you can definitely meet and I'll let you know if that works for me."

If she takes a long time to respond (i.e. longer than 1 hour), I would take even longer to respond back, even if she accepts the invite.

Listen up Gents. Gold!

 

[Fireballs]

Anything other than an enthusiastic 'Yes' should be taken as low interest.

Weed out the low interested women!

 

[ztas]

thanks all
I might wait until next week before sending her a short text.

I'm a bit annoyed that she didn't even reply to my invite, even to say 'no'.

cheers

z

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Rather than feel annoyed, start to embrace and expect flakings, rejection, non replies. Assuming that you're going to be interacting and chasing a lot of women. Flaking and rejection is commonplace. It is just the nature of the beast, in my opinion. I personally prefer to keep an enlightened pessimism about women. I expect them to flake on me and reject me and not make it easy for me to meet them. remember that it is women who have the upper hand. They have generally more options and more power. Supply and demand. Demand is for women. For every decent looking woman, there are probably a hundred men. Vying for your attention. That is just the way it is right now.

If you embrace their resistance as kind of a chess game, you'll enjoy the thrill of the chase much more. The chase will become enjoyable rather than burdensome. I will say though, that nothing will come easy when it comes to chasing down and nailing exceptionally beautiful women. Or even just women in general.

Many of us men believe you can be like a "woman" too if you have enough qualities and you maintain your personal worth. You will be one of the men they are all trying to get with.

They exist. If you are in this category they will do most of the work getting laid.

 

[synergy1]

I've seen some women do some pretty crazy things to track down and get with guys they are into. They go more overboard than even some guys do. One particular instance was when my friends now-girlfriend was trying to pursue him back in the day. She stalked his facebook through mutual friends to figure out what bar he was going to. She intentionally met him there even though she made it look accidental.

Gentlemen, if there is any question as to their interest...they aren't interested. Its not to say you can't improve that, but overall if you have to guess if she wants you...she doesn't. Move on or step up your game.

 

[guru1000]

tart to embrace and expect flakings, rejection, non replies.
....
If you embrace their resistance as kind of a chess game, you'll enjoy the thrill of the chase much more.

Those who understand the concept of embracing "failure" have the world in their hands.

 

[sodbuster]

Short version, she meant as "soon as Hell freezes over"

 

[latinnova]

It means to forget her and move onto one of your other plates and just start tapping that ass. If this girl wants you back she will contact you. Until then just truly forget her and go no contact. After being on the scene for a while you will learn that you did fine living without the chick before you met her, and will continue doing so after you left her. Do not look at is as a failure, but as an experience to learn from and move on, just like everything else in life. Adapt and change and continue this awesome adventure of life.

 

[ztas]

Guess I want to know what I did wrong so I don't repeat the mistakes with the next woman...

Our first meeting was light and fun and short. She offered her number. I waited about a week to contact. She responded fairly quickly with the "...we'll catch up soon".

Then no reply to my text this week.

I'm usually a reasonable 'reader' of women, but admittedly it has been a while

Fantastic words from some of you. It really does help to be able to 'talk' over things with a bunch of guys.

thanks all

 

[hithard]

Espi that advice is golden.

 

[Romjuan]

I remember Jophil use to post and say that if a girl gives you an answer that seems vague or says "ill get back to you and let you know" shes taking control and basically leaving you hanging. Respond with, " nevermind, seems like youre busy, maybe well meet another time." NEVER leave a date in question with you wondering.

 

[zekko]

100% agree with you DLS. In my opinion, the man that you are describing is a full-fledged DJ. I personally think that's who we're all aspiring to be. but, as you say, such men are rare.

Such men are very rare, and for most guys to get there will take more than a bunch of trips to the gym. Since the OP has already stated he has average looks and infrequent opportunities, I doubt that he falls into that category. But we're all looking to improve.

When you talk about it being a market for women, where the demand is for women, I think that is very true for most. An average male will not command the same demand that an average woman will, the experiences of "elite DJs" notwithstanding. I know Tenacity recently had a thread where was trying to say this, and took a little flak for it, since it contradicted the "I am the prize" mentality.

Although I still think "I am the prize" is a good mentality to have. When you talk about being the prize, I don't really think it is talking about Sexual Market Value, necessarily. I think it means that in your life, you have the value, and she is going to have to please you in order to get your attention.

 

[ztas]

Wise words Zekko (and all). Agree that it's harder for a man to make himself the prize. In my own case I find that the hardest stage is the very initial 'hook'. Once I know that the woman is interested, I go into the 'prize' mindset pretty comfortably. I can really feel the relaxed feel through my body, which then obviously amplifies the initial attraction.

My main issue is exactly what I'm facing now. Is someone interested or not? And of course the ensuing internal confusion when I think she is interested, but the follow-through doesn't go my way.

I do have a lot of interests outside (work, playing music, travel), so don't 'need' a woman, but would definetely enjoy them as part of my life, to be able to do other things...